A Message to Struggling Writers

Hi, 

Today I’m struck simultaneously by how grateful I am for the life I lead, and also how much I’m still struggling. It’s not just about the pandemic, or having been unemployed for 8 months last year (during which I started a business). It’s also not about the fact that there’s been so much social and political upheaval in the past 6 months, although that definitely hasn’t been easy either. 

No, the primary struggle for me is me. 

It’s about mindset and creativity and overwhelm and priorities. My creative writing has definitely felt the impact of all these things, and not in a good way. 

So today I wanted to share a message for other writers, like me, who are struggling: 

It’s okay to struggle. 

Likewise, it’s okay that not every day is a productive day. While it would be nice if all of us could crank out chapter after chapter of our dream novel, it’s okay that it doesn’t happen like that. Writing doesn’t have to be a game of who’s most prolific or who can write the most. It’s not a competition!

It’s one thing to have goals and celebrate achievements, but it’s another thing entirely to live and breath so much by the metrics that you feel stuck. You feel scared to “get behind” in your creative projects. This mindset can pretty effectively block creative thoughts from coming to us in the first place, which feels even worse! 

There’s too much pressure for writers to mimic the bestsellers in both pace and style. I’m over it, and I’m over it for you, too. Audience is important to think about as your writing, but creative ventures are also about their creators. If you’re not writing about what you love, or you don’t like what you’re writing, your specially picked audience will read right through it..

Editing doesn’t put passion back into flat writing. 

It’s also okay to walk away and take a break. It can be tricky to tell if you’re stuck in a rut or if you need to transition to a new project. It’s also really hard to walk away from something you love doing, even when you know it will help you be at your best for the next writing session. It’s okay, though. 

Taking a few days, or even a few weeks, off of your writing project doesn’t mean you’re giving up. It merely means you’re giving yourself a chance to breathe and create on your own terms. 

When you come back to your project after a break, or even before taking a break, it’s also okay to not know what’s next. Even if you have a detailed outline it can be hard to pinpoint exactly what would be the best piece to write next. For those of us who work a little more abstractly, sometimes we’re pulled in a clear direction of where to go and sometimes we’re not. It doesn’t mean our work is a lost cause, it just means we need to sit with our characters and get in their heads in a new way. 

Most of all, know that you are not alone. 

There are days where I wake up full of energy and creativity that goes straight to my novel. There are also days where I can barely do the writing I’m getting paid to do, let alone trying to have any conversations or think about my main character, Callie. 

No matter what the reasons are for your struggle, it’s okay. You’re not the only one, and it’s not forever. 

If you need help, or just want someone to chat with about the struggle (and just how real it is), reach out. Let’s chat. No strings attached or money involved. I find that often, after talking to other writers, I am not only bolstered about writing, but also just happier in general because we’ve talked about something we both love. 

It’s pretty cool. 

Let’s connect, okay? 

Yours in Struggle,

How to Write Valentine’s Day Poems for the Hopeless Romantic

With Valentine’s Day right around the corner, most of us are trying to decide what to give those special people in our lives. Whether friends, family, or significant others, they all deserve to receive something heartfelt. What better gift to give than a poem written by you? 

Here are some great tips on how to write a poem for the hopeless romantic in your life!

8 Tips for Writing Valentine’s Day Poems

1. Think about the person’s likes and dislikes. Start by making a list of everything we know our loved one likes and dislikes. Think about favorite movies, shows, books, foods, games, etc. The more information you have, the easier it will be to write a poem for them. 

2. Think about their personality & the things you like about them. This one goes a little deeper. What do you like about the person? Are they kind, caring, funny, easygoing, honest, exciting, outgoing, or sarcastic? It’s time to add all of the personality traits that you like about your loved one to the list. This will also help you decide which type of poem they will enjoy the most!

3. Think about both of your personalities & your relationship. Why is it that your relationship with your loved one just works? Is it the witty banter, free flowing conversations, or time spent just enjoying each other’s company? Whatever it is, write it down. Think about how you interact with one another and what your relationship is like. How are you together? 

4. Decide what type of poem to write. There are many types of poems. People spend their whole lives working on these things! BUT, for Valentine’s Day, you have a few simpler options. 

Haiku

A haiku is a three line poem that originated in Japan. The first line is made up of 5 syllables, the second 7 syllables and the third 5 syllables.

Here’s an example of a haiku:

Love makes me feel high

Like I’m flying in the sky

Would you like to try?

- Holly -

Limerick

A limerick is a poem containing 5 lines. The rhyming scheme for these poems is AA/BB/A. Limericks are meant to be crude, funny, or whimsical. Here is an example. It incorporates a tiny bit of that crudeness factor and whimsy, without getting really inappropriate. 

Here’s an example of a limerick:

I once met a boy in blue,

handsome and very sweet too.

I thought in my head,

please jump in my bed,

and wouldn’t you know, it was you!

- Holly -

Sonnet

There are different types of sonnets, but Shakespearean sonnets are well known for being love poems. A Shakespearean sonnet follows this rhyme scheme: ABAB/CDCD/EFEF/GG. The first 3 sections are called quatrains because of the 4 lines and the final section is a couplet because there are only 2 lines. 

Here’s one of Shakespeare’s most famous sonnets: 

Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?

Thou art more lovely and more temperate:

Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,

And summer’s lease hath all too short a date:

Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,

And often is his gold complexion dimm’d;

And every fair from fair sometime declines,

By chance or nature’s changing course untrimm’d;

But thy eternal summer shall not fade

Nor lose possession of that fair thou owest;

Nor shall Death brag thou wander’st in his shade,

When in eternal lines to time thou growest:

So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,

So long lives this and this gives life to thee.

- William Shakespeare -

Acrostic

An acrostic poem spells a word or name with the first letter of each line. It doesn’t have to rhyme or have any certain number of lines - just as many as there are letters in the word or name you choose! Each line should describe the word or name in some way. 

Here’s an example acrostic poem by famous writer Edgar Allen Poe:

Elizabeth it is in vain you say

"Love not" — thou sayest it in so sweet a way:

In vain those words from thee or L. E. L.

Zantippe's talents had enforced so well:

Ah! if that language from thy heart arise,

Breathe it less gently forth — and veil thine eyes.

Endymion, recollect, when Luna tried

To cure his love — was cured of all beside —

His folly — pride — and passion — for he died.

- Edgar Allen Poe -

Free Verse

Free verse poetry can be the easiest, but it can also be the hardest. If you choose this style, you can follow whatever rhyme scheme you want, or you don’t have to rhyme at all. Free verse is my usual go-to when writing poems, but sometimes it’s easier if you have a guideline to follow like you do with the other types of poetry.

Here’s an example of free verse poetry from famed author e.e. cummings:

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in

my heart)i am never without it(anywhere

i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done

by only me is your doing,my darling)

                                                      i fear

no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want

no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)

and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant

and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud

and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows

higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)

and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

- e.e. cummings -

5. Decide how much information you need & what to use. The type of poem you decide to write, will determine how much information you want/need to include. For example, a haiku could only use three of your brainstormed ideas at most. But any of the others would need more. If you choose a limerick, it may be more appropriate to tie in some of the dislikes you thought of and turn them into jokes (as long as you know the receiver will find them funny, too!)

6. Start drafting. Most poems take a few drafts to get right. If you’re writing a rhyming poem, it may be useful to pull up both dictionary and thesaurus websites. Not all poems have to rhyme, though! If you don’t want to worry about rhyming, you can choose to write a haiku, acrostic, or free verse poem. Sonnets and limericks typically must include rhymes.

7. Read it out loud. A poem can look great on paper, but you don’t truly know whether it flows until you read it aloud. Pick out any words or lines that could be changed to better the poem as a whole. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to make it perfect - as long as you’re happy with the outcome, and you think your loved one will enjoy it, then it’s ready!

8. Finalize the details. It’s time to make the changes we picked out in step 7 and finalize your poem! Finalizing your poem includes choosing whether you will print it out on fancy paper, with pictures, handwriting, and of course - what you want your title to be! I like to use the first line of the poem as the title, but you can be more creative if you want. Poems don’t necessarily need a title. You can always just use the name of who the poem is for, too. These little details are up to you!

Writing poems can be a great way to show we care for someone, but it can also be a lot of fun! Sometimes we surprise ourselves with what we’re able to create. Though there are many different types of poems, and certain “rules” to follow, in the end, we can write poems however we like. They are a way to express our creativity and have a little fun.

A Free Verse Poem for You, Reader

This blog is for you

those who love to write too,

reading and supporting, 

our work as you do,

means so much and more

than can be expressed,

thank you to all

and Happy Valentine’s Day to the best!

I challenge you to write a poem for a loved one or significant other.

Have you written poetry before? What type have you tried? How did it go? I’d love to hear about your experiences and recommendations! Find me on social media or drop a comment below.

Let’s chat because you, my friend, are on your way to great writing (and possibly great romance, if your poem goes well!).

20 Inspirational Quotes to Keep You Motivated

As we wrap up an eventful January, many of us are undoubtedly telling ourselves that everything is “fine” even when it’s kind of…well, not.

When my motivation wanes, and productivity seems to grind to a halt, I always look up inspirational quotes. Something about hearing beautiful words from others who have gone before me makes me look at the world a little differently.

How to Use Inspirational Words to Stay Motivated

Inspirational quotes don’t make the world better, nor do they “fix“ things that are going on around us, but they do offer a temporary change of thought pattern and vision for the future. Sometimes this little moment in time is just enough to rekindle a spark of motivation to continue on.

There are 3 great & easy ways to incorporate inspirational words into your day that can help you get and stay motivated:

1. Write them where you’ll see them every day - whether on your mirror, as a screensaver on your phone, or post-its by your desk

2. Journal with them - take time to really think about what they mean to you

3. Read them in the morning & before bed - soak in the positive vibes and hope they give you

20 Inspirational Quotes to Motivate Writers

“A bird doesn’t sing because it has an answer; it sings because it has a song.” - Maya Angelou

“I can shake off everything as I write; my sorrows disappear, my courage is reborn.” - Anne Frank

“I believe myself that a good writer doesn’t really need to be told anything except to keep at it.” - Chinua Achebe

“And by the way, everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.” - Sylvia Plath

“One day I will find the right words, and they will be simple.” - Jack Kerouac

“I believe there is power in words, power in asserting our existence, our experience, our lives, through words.” - Jesmyn Ward

“You can make anything by writing.” - C.S. Lewis

“If I waited for perfection, I would never write a word.” - Margaret Atwood

“But please remember, especially in these times of group-think and the right-on chorus, that no person is your friend (or kin) who demands your silence, or denies your right to grow and be perceived as fully blossomed as you were intended.” - Alice Walker

“A professional writer is an amateur who didn’t quit.” - Richard Bach

“Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken-winged bird that cannot fly.” - Langston Hughes

“Whatever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising that tempt you to believe your critics are right. To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires the same courage that a soldier needs. Peace has its victories, but it takes brave men and women to win them.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Be strategic and resilient in the pursuit of your dreams. That sounds like a cheesy quote, right? But nah, I’m serious. Resilience is one hell of a quality to master and not many have the skin for it.” - Tiffany D. Jackson

“Don’t tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass.” - Anton Chekhov

“The true alchemists do not change lead into gold; they change the world into words.” - William H. Gass

“Start writing, no matter what. The water does not flow until the faucet is turned on." - Louis L’Amour

“Words are our most inexhaustible source of magic.” - J.K. Rowling

“If I didn’t define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people’s fantasies for me and eaten alive.” - Audre Lorde

“You can always edit a bad page. You can’t edit a blank page" - Jodi Picoult

"If there's a book that you want to read, but it hasn't been written yet, then you must write it." - Toni Morrison

Why the Starving Artist Stigma is Wrong

As writers, most of us have heard: 

How are you planning to make a living writing?

Writers can’t make money unless they publish a book

Shouldn’t you have a backup...you know, just in case?

Even if yours were a little different, you’ve heard something along those lines, right? 

We’ve all felt the disbelieving stares when we mention we’re writers, too. There have probably even been times we’ve omitted mentioning we’re writers just to avoid the inevitable negative or doubtful comments and questions. 

There’s this annoying and persistent stigma - the “starving artist” concept - that’s been attached to writers for too long. It’s time to set the record straight. 

What’s the Stigma?

The stigma surrounding authors and writers is that they struggle to make money, or can’t make money at all unless formally published. Sometimes both in conjunction. 

Even when writers do get books published, people often believe writers are still “starving artists” unless they become mega bestsellers. Let’s break the stigma down a little more, though, because there’s much more than money behind these assumptions.

What the Heck is a “Starving Artist”?

A starving artist is someone who forgoes material items and a steady income in order to do what they love, or what they are passionate about. It’s most commonly associated with artists, actors, and musicians, but really extends to any artform, such as writing. After all, creating worlds with words is an art.

Creating worlds with words is an art.

We’re not the only ones who think the starving artist stigma needs to go either.  If you’re interested, you can check out well-known author Jeff Goins’ take - this piece is a powerful statement about why we don’t need to starve as artists. He even wrote a book about it! 

When You do Anything Creative, People Assume You’re Going to Fail

Most people conclude that trying to make a living through creative means, like writing, is a long shot, or even impossible. When we try to be bold with our writing, people often ask how we plan to make money that way, or maybe just give us the side eye, saying “as if.” 

Sometimes it’s hard to push past the doubt and see our path clearly, but there are numerous ways to be successful as a writer. It’s even harder when the people who question us are those who are otherwise supportive. They don’t necessarily doubt us, just this “unstable” career path.

People Don’t Understand How Writers Makes Money

The only way people really know that writers can make money is either by publishing a book or being a journalist for a magazine or newspaper. 

Although this used to be the case, many people don’t realize there are many new and emerging routes for writers that are actually way more profitable than publishing a book or being a journalist. (Spoiler alert: most writers who have a published book don’t make a lot of money from it. There are other ways to make money from a book, though.)

In the digital age we live in, the opportunities to write for a good profit are bountiful and diverse - after all, who do you think writes all that website copy you read every day? Or those sales emails you get every waking second? Writers.

Why is Writing Stigmatized? 

All Movies & TV...Like Ever

When we see writers on screen, they are journalists or have a backstory about a “classic” or bestselling author. In every scenario, the main character starts with major struggles to make ends meet. They just need this one big break and they will be set for life! 

Unfortunately, that’s not the case for most of us who are practicing writers. We may start out a little worse for the wear, but a lot of us aren’t depending on that one big project to make or break our entire lives. Most writers have found other ways to support themselves and are doing just fine. 

People Assume that if We’re Writing, We’re Writing Books 

We don’t need to be writing books to be writers. Not all writers write books, and that’s okay! There are many other ways to be a professional writer. Copywriting, content writing, email writing, blog writing, song writing, and technical writing are all profitable forms of writing. The concept of writing itself has evolved a lot because of the constant growth in technology in the modern world. 

We don’t need to be writing books to be writers.

Even if you are simply writing for yourself, you can still call yourself a writer! There’s no reason we shouldn’t consider someone a writer just because they haven’t published, or publicly shared their writing with others.

People Assume We have to Publish a Book to be Successful

Publishing a book can certainly be helpful, but it’s not necessary. Writers can find success in many different fields. If you’re writing stories, you can use websites like Patreon, Wattpad, and Medium to post content and earn money. You can also make your content free if you want - money does not always equal success. 

Blogging and social media are great ways for us to share our writing with others if we don’t want to publish a book, but still want to find success. There are great opportunities to collaborate with others, or to create your own website, if you’re willing to do a little research. 

What’s Wrong with the “Starving Artist” Picture?

First of all, it’s untrue.

There are so many ways to make money and be successful as a writer. If you want to write, do it. Don’t let the fear or stigma of writers not being able to make money hold you back. Find the right niche and make a plan to follow your dreams. There’s nothing wrong with not making money from your writing, but there’s also nothing wrong with making a good living from it!

People do it every day. You’re not alone - none of us who call ourselves writers are. We are not alone as writers! There are writing communities to back you up no matter which branch of writing you decide to try. Connect with fellow writers, ask questions, and remember, you CAN be a successful writer!

Second, it’s time to write a new narrative about writers.

We can forge new paths for ourselves and find success down any avenue we choose. 

When someone tries to tell you writers don’t make money, or aren’t successful unless they’re published - don’t take it sitting down. Remind them that the starving artist is a thing of the past, or an idea for the movies. We can forge new paths for ourselves and find success down any avenue we choose. 

Shake off the fears and doubts of others. Anyone who’s not a writer doesn’t really know how fulfilling and inspiring writing can be. We need to allow ourselves to find success doing what we love and remember to surround ourselves with people who lift us up and cheer us on!

I challenge you to try out a new writing medium this week - a poem, a short story, a blog, a new kind of email, or even a new type of social media post! Pick something that intrigues you and go for it.

What type of writing do you do? Have you faced doubt from others? How did you deal with the naysayers? I’d love to hear about your experiences and recommendations! Find me on social media or drop a comment below.

Let’s chat because you, my friend, are on your way to great writing.

6 Ways Napping Helps Me Write

I have all the content planned for the next couple of months - outlined and waiting to be written. Today was supposed to be about goals. While I love talking about goals, I wasn’t feeling it.

Not today. 

No, today I sat down to write and decided to nap instead.

What can I say? I love naps. 

It could be because I stayed up a little too late last night finishing a book, which I haven’t done in what feels like years. It could be because for several days I’ve felt off - cold-like, but nothing dire. It could be because I like to take it easier on the weekend and get back to it on Monday. I’ve earned the time off! But I just could not get back into the groove today.  

Mostly I’m writing about naps because I like them and I enjoy being snuggled up in blankets. 

And you know what? That actually helps my writing. 

Here’s why: 

When I’m tired, I’m not thinking about writing, or the subject matter.

I’m thinking about how tired I am, or how heavy my eyelids are, or whether it’s worth making another cup of tea with more caffeine so I can push out some extra words. None of this is productive.

When I’m thinking about napping, I’m already distracted.

Sometimes it’s about my anxiety flaring up. Sometimes it’s about not having slept well. Sometimes I just need a quiet break during the day! So if I sit down at the keyboard, or even my journal (which is a sacred, judgement-free zone), I’m going to get distracted by the tumbleweed of dog hair in the corner of the room.

I’m going to be thinking about all the sticky notes that have come unstuck from their respective homes and floated perilously near the edge of the desk where the puppy is sure to grab them as soon as he sees an opportunity. I’m not really showing up to my writing at this point, even though my body is in the chair waiting for further instructions from my glazed over brain.

It cleanses my mind.

Several times a week I use a brief 15 minute nap to meditate and clear all the junk out of my mind. You know the kind that really gets in the way of creativity: financial concerns, household chores, irritation at your dog eating yet another tissue out of the bathroom trash when you weren’t looking. It bogs me down! So I do a short meditation and rest my eyes for just a few minutes after, and voila! Brand new me who’s ready to kick ass again. 

It’s alone time.

Those of you who live with a partner or spouse or roommate will feel me on this: when we’re at home virtually all the time, there’s not a lot of space. Our house is approximately 1100 square feet, and while I do have an office with a door, I can’t always shut it for one reason or another. Many times I’m napping for more than one reason. Having a little slice of alone time in a very together kind of lifestyle is almost always one of those reasons. 

It calms anxiety.

Before I figured out how to deal with my anxiety, the only thing I knew that worked to shut everything down quickly was to nap. Even when everything was flying by at a mile a minute (like due dates for term papers and such) napping could always set me at ease.

Later on, I learned some other methods, but napping is always a sure way to contain my anxiety when it’s crept up without me realizing it. I always wake up from a nap refreshed, so it’s natural for me to take that time regularly. I mean, why wouldn’t I use a tried and true method to contain the panic monster when she’s trying to escape? 

When I’m at ease, I write better. Like, a lot better.

I write a lot. I journal, I write for clients, I write my own blog content, I’m working on a novel. It’s safe to say that even for someone who loves words more than most other things, I write A LOT. It’s not always an easy transition between ideas either. If I’m writing a mental health article for a client, or an article about addiction recovery, I can’t just finish that and turn around and write about how much I’m inspired by my dogs (which I am). I have to have some time to shift my mindset and style.

Napping is the perfect way to ease this tension, especially when I’m on a tight schedule. The reality is I could just jump right into the next piece of writing, but it’s not going to be as good as it could be. And not as coherent as it needs to be. You can edit most things, but I’m typically a pretty clean first draft writer, so when I find something atrocious, I know I felt rushed or didn’t have my head in the right place. It takes me way longer to edit something really bad than to close my eyes for 15 minutes and come back and write a solid first draft. 

Napping works incredibly well for me as a tool for productivity and writing success, and it has great potential to work for you, too!

My challenge for you is to try it: the next time you’re overwhelmed, try setting a 15 minute timer and forcing your brain to shut down.

Do you nap regularly? How does it work for you? I’d love to hear! I’d love to hear about your experiences and recommendations! Find me on social media or drop a comment below.

Let’s chat because you, my friend, are on your way to great writing - and napping.

The Key to Creating Next-Level Writing Habits

I’m not a fan of New Year’s resolutions, but I love goals and learning to take small steps toward consistent new habits. After all, small steps lead to big results, right? At least that's what they say.

What better time to start learning than a fresh new year? 

Writing habits can prove a little tricky, though! In our busy lives, time for creative work often feels like a luxury or some unattainable “perfect world” situation. Writing gets pushed aside for other more pressing concerns because we feel like there’s always tomorrow. 

Hopefully there are many tomorrows in which to write or be the coveted “writer” you’ve always dreamed of being, but having a solid writing habit will make your life better today. 

Why Writing Habits Matter

The bottom line for writing habits is: your dreams matter. 

What you want to do and who you want to be is important! It might seem to get lost in the humdrum of daily life as a spouse/caregiver/hardworking employee - and whatever the other roles are in your life - but your creativity is a part of who you are. Because you know this part of you, it’s worth creating a writing habit. 

There are 3 main ways writing habits benefit you in everyday life:

1. Create Consistency Like other aspects of your life, developing a habit will create consistency for your writing and creativity. This means showing up to your writing regularly, even when it might not feel “inspired.” What happens when there’s consistency? Growth! Progress! Pride in your hard work! All the good things you want for your writing. 

2. Facilitate Progress So you want to publish a book? Start a writing business? Simply enjoy your life more? Developing a writing habit can help you do all of these things. When you show up, there’s no way to not see progress. (i.e. no more moping on Facebook for an hour every night about the fact that you “should have been” writing because you’ve done it already!)

3. Boost Confidence There’s nothing in the world quite like finishing a particularly exciting scene or storyline. It’s one of those things writers crave: to see their words on the page and know they did it! Creating a writing habit and showing up to your writing regularly will give you confidence in your skills and abilities, even if it starts out by the sheer fact that you’re practicing them on a daily/weekly basis. Long-term, your confidence about being able to start and complete new projects will grow. You’ll know you can do it because you have done it - and because you’re a badass unstoppable dream-getter. 

What is a Writing Habit? 

So, writing habits sound awesome, right? You’re kind of a big deal, and the stories you have to share with the world are, too. 

But what exactly is a writing habit? After all, many of us are incredibly busy. Does a writing habit mean we have to write every day? 

A writing habit is simply a routine you create for your writing. A way to establish a practice that helps you write. You don’t necessarily have to write every day - I don’t write creatively every day - but you should write frequently. 

Writing habits and routines include aspects like:

• Environment - where you sit, what’s around you, smells, sounds, temperature of the room, etc.

• Physical self - how you prepare your body to write, sitting, laying, clothing you’re wearing, etc.

• Headspace - how you prepare your mind and emotions to write, music, open-mindedness, excitement, etc. 

The great thing is that your writing habit is unique to you! While it’s helpful to read about other writers’ habits and maybe even try them out, there’s no set in stone way that you have to build your habit so that it works. You know you best, which means you can design a habit that helps you better than anyone else could.

8 Simple Steps to Creating Next-Level Writing Habits

1. Have a writing session. Before you make any changes to what you do now, you need to figure out what exactly you do. Take some time to have a writing session in the way you know works best for you right now. For instance, when I have a writing session for my novel, I go into my office (with no dogs in tow) and I light a little tea light on my desk. I open up my Google doc and read through a couple of scenes to get into the flow of the story before I try to write anything new. Sometimes I lightly edit the scenes I read, or fix typos, but my main focus is to feel the characters and live with them for a little while so I can create more of their world.

2. Analyze what made your writing session successful. When you’ve done your session (I hope it’s awesome!), you need to figure out what worked. What made you feel good? What made you get excited to write? What really got your creative juices flowing? 

   1. Consider Environment: the physical space around you, the sounds, the smells, the lighting, your posture, distractions you felt, feelings in your body, your clothes - anything that you notice that affected your writing session from a physical perspective

   2. Consider Mindset: what were your initial thoughts, why did the distractions come up, any stresses, any excitement, your mental space, your emotional space, your feeling when session was complete - anything you notice that affected your writing session from a mindset perspective

   3. Consider What Went Wrong: Sometimes writing sessions just don’t go as planned. If this happened to you, think about what went wrong using the same points as what went right, that way you can mitigate them when you write again

3. Set a small writing goal. Once you’ve thoroughly analyzed your last writing session, set a small goal for the next session. Don’t set any goals that are outlandish, like that you want to write the next 50 pages (unless that’s how much you already do in a typical writing session). Think about things like: “I want to finish this chapter” or “I want to rewrite the ending of this scene so it’s more convincing.” Remember, small progress is progress. The more small goals you set and achieve, the better you’ll feel about your bigger goals.  I like to set my small goals about finishing particular sections of my novel - sometimes that’s 2 pages, and sometimes it’s 10. I rarely write more than one section at a time. 

4. Schedule time to write. Once you’ve got your goal, set a time to work on it! I would encourage you to pick a time within the next week.

5. Have another writing session. Remember when you analyzed your last session? Take as many of those pieces as you can and recreate the session. If your session didn’t go as planned last time, consider what went wrong and do your best to change or eliminate those things from this session. 

6. Compare the two sessions. Now that you’ve done two writing sessions, one “normal” and one with a small writing goal, consider: 

   1. What’s the same? 

   2. What’s different? 

   3. What could make the next session even better?

7. Schedule another time to write. This is the “habit” part of your new writing habit - showing up regularly!

8. Follow through on your schedule and reflect each time. Don’t let your writing sessions become the thing you keep putting off. Remember, your creativity and writing dreams are important! You don’t push other important stuff off from week to week, do you? When you show up and reflect on what’s working, and what’s not, you’ll be able to consistently plan effective writing sessions for yourself and create a next-level writing habit that’s tailored to you. 

Next Steps

So that’s it! There’s nothing overtly complicated about creating a writing habit that works for you. 

What you need to do now is:

1. Do those first writing sessions & reflect. Don’t skip the reflection! That’s key to being able to create your new habit.

2. Show up to your new habit. Be intentional about making time to write, even if it's at the crack of dawn before everyone’s awake or at night when everyone’s asleep.

3. Get help and accountability. If you need help figuring out what might work for you, or you just want some accountability (because we know that’s helpful!) click here to read how I work with writers just like you! I love love love helping writers get set up with new habits, and I know we can work together to find what works best for you. 
   

I challenge you to do a writing session within the next 7 days and stick to it. 

Have you developed a writing habit before? How did it go? Do you have specific steps that help you write? I’d love to hear about your experiences and recommendations! Find me on social media or drop a comment below.

Let’s chat because you, my friend, are on your way to great writing.

Reflections on a Long A** Year

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2020 is finally over and I can honestly say I will not miss it. Not even a little. 

I wanted to do some pretty raw reflections for the end of the year because let’s be honest, this year has been unlike any other year in most of our lifetimes - and not in a good way. 

I am 100% about being positive and having an optimistic attitude. I bring those qualities to the table 95% of the time with everything that I do, on occasion, to  the annoyance of my husband who likes to see things as they are right now instead of what they could be. Hah!

The truth is, though, that even I can’t pretend that this hasn’t been a terribly hard year. There’s been a lot of tragedy, anger, and overall bad-ness that I don’t think we can or should casually shrug off like it didn’t happen. That doesn't negate the fact that there have been some wins, of course, but this is one time where I don’t think the wins outweigh the heaviness of the year. 

With that being said, I’ve been reflecting on my personal life, as well as business and blog growth. I wanted to look at them separately because they’re not quite the same, although permanently working from home blurs the lines a lot more than when I was working in an office!

The Personal Details

I say juicy, but I don’t know how accurate that is.  

To give perspective to just how much this year has been for me (and in our house): 

Quarter 1: January - February 

• Began job discussions with who we’ll call New Company C

• Best friend asked me to be a bridesmaid at her wedding in the fall! Aw, so nice! (Little did we know that COVID would mess all of it up and postpone the wedding.)

• New Company C makes me a fabulous job offer that drastically improves our quality of life; Started new role at New Company C

• Hubby’s grandfather moves out after staying with us unexpectedly for 4 months

• Threw hubby a surprise 30th birthday party! 

Quarter 1: March 

** March gets its own month because...well, you’ll see **

• 2 weeks of jury duty - first time ever being called - for a murder trial. He was guilty. I was gutted. 

• First day back from jury duty (I’ve only been at New Company C for a month at this point) we were all called into the conference room at lunchtime and sent to work from home due to fears over COVID

• COVID lockdown begins

• Hubby gets major mouth surgery a day before the surgeon postpones all non-medically necessary procedures due to COVID

• Took some time over a warm weekend to mulch and put flowers in our tiny front garden area - something I’d been wanting to do since we moved in in March 2018

• Hubby leaves miserable job to pursue self-employment

• March 31 my daily log says, “New day ahead tomorrow! A whole new month even! So glad this one is over…” Oh, girl…

Quarter 2: April - June

• Lockdown continues

• My birthday! - Olive Garden takeout wins lockdown birthday

• Got our exterior trim painted 

• Walked in lots of new nearby parks as a way to get out of the house a little

• Furloughed from my brand new job at New Company C

• Began regularly doing morning pages journaling

• New floors to replace our disgusting carpet!

• News of race riots across the country - I write on May 30 “How can this still be happening in 2020?... We need to change and we need to be better.” 

• Mini getaway to Evansville - just one overnight; first time dining in a restaurant since lockdown and it was scary

• Adopted puppy Maxwell - he was only 12 weeks old. 6 pounds of cuteness and sharp teeth!

• Helped my dad move to a new house

• Registered Capturing Your Confidence as a business with my county!

Quarter 3: July - September

• Had the gut feeling that New Company C wouldn’t be bringing me back - furlough extended - so really ramped up business endeavors with intention to go full time on my own 

• Charlie has to get his teeth cleaned, which costs as much as a mortgage payment (who knew?!)

• Migrated my website from WordPress to Squarespace - the move was ugly and complicated, but isn’t the new site pretty? ;) 

• Officially laid off from New Company C

• Offered a role as Executive Contributor for Brainz Magazine - and accepted

• Went on our first big vacation in years - we rented our own cabin in the woods in Gatlinburg! Very few major sight-seeing places to avoid crowds, but the mountains were beautiful, as always, and we can’t wait to go back again

• Our 4 year wedding anniversary!

• Able to work outside with my best friend (who also works remotely) a few afternoons when the weather was fair!

Quarter 4: October - December 

• Maxwell gets neutered & has surgery on his cherry eye

• I invite Holly to be a regular contributor on the blog! 

• Hubby begins working in partnership with Shipt

• Maxwell gets eye surgery #2 because he escaped the cone in October and damaged the stiches

• Election day - waited 4 hours to vote. At least it was warm and sunny!

• Picked an absorbently expensive healthcare plan and signed up! 

• Hubby diagnosed with sleep apnea

As I was putting this list together, I thought to do a reflection of each month, but honestly? The truth is that in March I was just completely bombarded with event after event that was so hard to deal with. Then I got furloughed in April (later to be permanently laid off), so I feel like the rest of the year has been trying to deal with the hand I was dealt and making the best of the day and/or the week. 

I am a firm believer that we don’t need to compare trauma and “one up” each other with who had it worse.

This isn’t meant to be a sob story, goodness knows there are people who have had it much much worse than I have! But I am a firm believer that we don’t need to compare trauma and “one up” each other with who had it worse. Even just listing out the good with the bad has been a process of realization that we went through all of this! I’m still here, my husband and boys are still here, and thankfully our families have been safe this year as well. 

I’m grateful, but ready to move on. Ready to create a new, brighter future next year!

The Big (Small) Business Milestones

Personally, this year has been full of ups and downs, but for my business, changes have been trending up! When I was furloughed, I made the decision to work on my business full time - it was one of my goals from early in the year to replace my income by the end of the year, and it was the perfect opportunity to make sure I would actually like working for myself and making all the decisions.

I can say 7-8 months in that I LOVE it and I don’t have plans to go back to a 9-5 job! I’ve been able to more or less replace my income and I love making the decisions, even when there’s a lot to do. I have big plans for next year and one silver lining of 2020 was that it gave me time not just to figure out how business works and what it looks like, but to actually do it full time. I know this is something I wouldn’t have otherwise jumped into so quickly, but I’m thankful that I’ve been able to make it work and am proud to be back on the upward trend financially and career-wise.

Here are some of the major milestones that happened in 2020:   

• Officially registered as a business

• Got an official business address

• Opened up a business bank account

• Created a safe way for people to pay for products and services

• Created infrastructure to support business growth (i.e. all the admin stuff you need to run a business - like tracking where your money goes and what projects are due when, etc.)

• Rebranding

• Invested in professional development

• Connected with a ton of amazing entrepreneurs & grew my professional network like crazy

• Collaborated with other entrepreneurs

• Was asked to do many guest posts

• Became an Executive Contributor at Brainz Magazine & named to Brainz Global 500 List as an expert in my field

• Transitioned from “side hustle” to full time business owner with paying clients! 

• Brought on a contributor to support the enormous growth Capturing Your Confidence has had 

• Became active on Medium

I’m sure there’s probably more, but I think that’s plenty! It’s been a year full of vertical growth, and I’m so excited not only for how much I’ve grown but how much I’ve learned in the process. Hands down one of my favorite things has been meeting other entrepreneurs and like-minded people and connecting. 

One thing I do miss about being in an office is the chatting, but I’m thankful that I’ve been able to make some business friends, which has made things less lonely. 

I’ve also very much enjoyed the intentional learning I’ve done through courses. If you know me, you know I love learning! I always have, and I always will. I’ve figured out that I really like self-paced learning, although some of these have live components. It’s nice to be able to vary what I’m learning about. 

I will be the first to admit, though, that I may have overdone it a little in my excitement to learn. I am still working on several of these, and the others took much longer than anticipated. As it turns out, when you’re the only one in your business, you have to do everything, even the really boring stuff. Hah! So, to be able to learn with courses, you have to be very intentional about what it is you’re learning and when you work on it.

Having so many options left me a bit overwhelmed and trying to figure out what was most important. Ultimately, I will finish all of them (many of them I’m close to completing) and I’m glad I invested in them, but I’ve learned the hard way that I may not need every course I want to take right away.

Courses Enrolled In: 

Blogging Blastoff 2.0 by Heather & Pete Reese of It’s a Lovely Life

When I started blogging way back in April 2019, I took Heather & Pete’s free 5 day Start a Blogging Business course. It changed my perspective on what blogging could really mean and do. I also regularly participate in their free monthly 10K Traffic Challenge, which is great for meeting new people and growing my network! So it makes sense that after so much interaction with their free products, I purchased their signature paid blogging program called Blogging Blastoff 2.0. Although I’ve since decided that I don’t want to make my main income as a blogger, I learned a ton of valuable information from the course.  

The Funnels Academy by Christina Bernhard

As I began to clarify what I wanted my business to be and what I was offering, I came across Christina’s course The Funnels Academy. At the time, it was in beta and I was in the first group to go through the completed program. It was amazing, and I know she’s continued to update with the feedback she got during the beta testing. My testimonial is even on the sales page! Check it out here.

List Builders Society by Amy Porterfield

I took some free webinars with Amy on email list building and I love her energy. Everything is simple! Email list building is so important for online businesses, and Amy is definitely at the top of the industry, which I feel is a great reason to take advice from her. I’m still in the last stages of this course, but it will be done by the end of next month. So worth it - and I made some new friends to boot! Read all about it here.

The Work Online + Travel the World Course by Cassie & Shay of The Bucketlist Bombshells

When I signed up for The Work Online & Travel the World Course, I’d been following The Bucketlist Bombshells for about a year. Every time I saw their emails I thought about investing and I just wasn’t quite sure. When I finally did take the leap, it was so worth it! I recently finished the course, and out of all of the courses I’ve worked on, this one has easily been one of the best investments. It’s helped me get the business-y side of my business set up and a more clear idea of what I want to offer. They even inspired me to redo my website late this summer! Check it out here.

The Marketing Seminar by Seth Godin

When I signed up for The Marketing Seminar with Seth Godin this fall, I’ll admit that I had hesitations about being able to keep up. One of my clients was getting a group together for it and offered me a great deal to join the team in the seminar and I felt like I couldn’t pass up such a great opportunity with such a successful marketer when marketing is one of the things that’s hardest for me - it’s definitely not something I would call a strength...yet. 

Although my fears were correct in not being able to keep up with this rigorous course, there is SO MUCH VALUE. The first 100 days are live and then you get 100 additional days to review and continue to go through the material. I’m still pushing through, but even with the what feels like small amount I’ve done so far (it’s not, really, but compared to the amount available it feels like it!), I have been able to clarify things I’ve been struggling with since I started blogging almost 2 years ago - wow! Read more here.

Transparent Sales by Taylor Lee

I stumbled upon Taylor’s Facebook ads sometime during the summer right after I decided to replace my income full time. I thought - who could better help me with sales than someone who makes 6 figures a MONTH sometimes?! When I began to dive in, I was empowered but also overwhelmed. I wasn’t quite ready for the powerful information she was giving about how easy and not slimy sales can be. But, I’m still so thankful that I purchased the course because now that I’ve worked on the other things I needed to get in place and clarify first, I’m ready to dive in and start fresh next month. I can’t wait!! I love getting her emails and seeing her social posts. Check it out here.

Confidence Coaching Certification by Louise Anne Maurice of Get Results Coach Academy

Last, but certainly not least is the confidence coaching certification I thought *for sure* I needed to be successful as a coach. I purchased this on a whim, and although I haven’t done too much with it, I am looking forward to digging deeper because I do think it will help with structuring how I coach. Because it comes with a certification at the end, and a directory listing, I think it will be most valuable for networking purposes, but I LOVE studying (clearly) and I’m really into learning more about confidence - it’s at the core of my business. Read more about it here.

Having said aaaaaall of that, it wasn’t my intention to go THAT extensive with my learning this year. HAH. Many of the courses were purchased in a time before I really knew what I needed, although I don’t regret any of them because they’ve all been helpful. It also helps that I follow all of these people’s email lists and saw when the courses went on sale. ;)

Top Blogs & Published Writing

Interview with an Author: Dr. Vanessa Rapatz

Interview with an Author: Margarita Meyendorff 

6 Creative Time Management Strategies to Keep Writing this Holiday Season

7 Reasons Writers Need Growth Mindset

4 Simple Steps to Stop Unnecessary Rewriting

These blogs did really well this year & it was exciting that multiple interviews were the most viewed! I’ve loved chatting with authors all year long, and I’m pleased to say that there will only be more from here! 

You can check out a full list of my guest posts and published writing here. It’s a brand new page that I’ll be updating when I have new content that’s not on the blog - I’m pretty excited to keep sharing my work in new ways!

Looking Ahead

2021 is going to be another big year! I have very positive vibes going into the year, and I plan to make the most of a brand new year by hitting the ground running. While I won’t be sharing income and financial goals, I do have a number of other goals I’ll be working on, which I think will be pretty exciting. 

Without further ado, here’s some of what’s on deck for next year: 

• More content in general: This is something I’ve struggled with since I started the blog, but I am going to be pushing hard to get to 2 consistent pieces of content every week! Now that I have help, it will be easier, but it’s on the top of my mind because I keep hearing that you want more! 

• Classic book review collection: Super pumped about doing a deeper dive into the classic lit world again. As it turns out, English majors read a lot of classic books - especially lit majors like myself! But, it’s hard to find a solid book review that’s not as detailed SparkNotes but still has depth beyond “this was great!” or “this sucked.” So I’m glad to be starting a middle ground book review collection.

• 5 day free organizing your writing course: I’m SO pumped to be putting this together! I’m hoping to debut it at the end of January. It will be all about organizing your ideas so that you can actually start writing (instead of putting it off - it’s okay, we all do it). 

• Paid writing course!: Last, but certainly not least, I will be launching a writing course this year! I’ve been back and forth a couple of times on which course I want to build this year (I have so many ideas!) but know that it’s coming. Also, if you have anything you’d like to see, by all means email me right now at rachel@capturingyourconfidence.com or go here to let me know. After all, I’m here to help you!

Anyway, so that’s 2020 in a nutshell! All crazy 12 months. I secretly feel like from about March to November was actually the longest month on record, though, and not separate months at all. I know that 2021 is going to be different, and I’m so ready!

How was your year? I’d love to hear about your experiences! Find me on social media or drop a comment below.

Let’s build a brighter tomorrow - together.

8 (Cheap) Ways to Do Self-Care

UPDATED JULY 2025

With all the chaos in the world, taking care of ourselves is even more important than usual. That doesn’t include any pain or overwhelm you might have from your chronic illness or high sensitivity.

It’s safe to say that we all need some self-love and self-care.

What is Self-Care?

Self-care is definitely a buzzword. After all, who hasn’t heard that they need to exercise more and eat better and their lives will just magically change. I mean, they might over time, but that’s certainly not the first answer for those of us with bodies that function differently.

So for us, in this context, I define self-care as the way people care for themselves, whether those are things for your body, mind, or spirit. So things like reading, creating, meditating, stretching, being in nature, etc. It doesn’t have to be complicated, expensive, or even all that intensive. If you sit with yourself for a few minutes, you’ll probably be able to tell where you need care the most in that particular moment. Listen to your intuition - it’s there and it’s rarely wrong.

The International Self-Care Foundation has some awesome information not just about what defines self-care, but also the necessities you need to implement self-care in your own life.

8 Ways to Do Self-Care Even on Flare or Overwhelm Days

Taking care of your own wellness is critical not just for your own emotional & physical wellbeing, but also to have coping strategies for the changes going on around you. 

People with chronic illness and high sensitivity have a tendency to shy away from self-care “plans” or specific activities because sometimes they’re too much for flare or overwhelm days. It’s okay! No advice to go for a run here (and if you see me running, you should DEFINITELY run, shit must be going down if I’m running).

These ideas are calm, don’t take a lot of energy that you may or may not have, and can be adapted to your own style of creativity. Try them out and let me know how they go!

Color

Maybe you haven’t colored since you were a kid. You remember the lidless container of broken, paperless crayons everyone’s parents and grandparents seemed to have, right? I can picture the exact dented floral box.

As it turns out, coloring isn’t just for kids! It’s a great stress reliever for adults, too. There’s even science & research to back it up.  Coloring pages for adults can take your mind out of your worry zone and relax your brain. You don’t have to color anything in the “right” colors or even in the lines - it’s about whatever you want to do in the moment.

It can also be really fun and satisfying to see something pretty come together knowing that you have absolutely no obligation to do anything with it later. (i.e. it’s not a gift you “have to” find a place for).

Grab some adult color pages and look for other creative coloring ideas.

PAIN WORKAROUND: If you’re having a high pain day, especially in your hands, try a free coloring app like Happy Color that allows you to “color” on your phone.

Write in a Journal

Reading can be soothing, a nice escape from reality. But sometimes even reading feels like too much - it becomes some kind of race or duty to finish the book. 

Have you ever had that feeling? 

Journaling can be a great way to express yourself and your worries without pressure. While the idea of a “diary” can feel cumbersome, there are lots of studies that show that journaling can help not just cope with stress, but also with anxiety and depression. 

Journaling is a great form of self-care because it’s private and it can look however you want it to! It doesn’t have to be endless pages of dramatic scenes from your life like you see in teen movies. Nor does it have to be a defined structure at all. It’s literally there for you to express whatever you’re feeling without having to worry about other people being involved.

By the way, a “journal” doesn’t have to be fancy. It could be a regular notebook, composition book, legal pad, or even just a pad of paper laying around the house. If you do like fancy journals (I definitely do!), I recommend Peter Pauper Press- they’re affordable and feel very luxe.

PAIN WORKAROUND: If you can’t find a comfortable writing pen, 750words.com allows you to type into an online journal every day for free.

Watch your Favorite Movie or TV Series

Do you have a favorite movie? You know, one that you love no matter how many times you watch it? Or perhaps a guilty pleasure TV series that you can’t seem to stop watching even though you’ve seen it 10 times? I’m not going to tell you how many times I’ve watched the entire series of Bob’s Burgers, but it’s A LOT.

Watch it again. 

Watching the same thing over and over again isn’t actually that weird. In fact, a lot of people do it! Studies show that watching our trusty favorites over and over again helps anxiety because we know what’s going to happen - it’s predictable. 

When you don’t feel up to doing very much of anything, what’s more comforting than having a small modicum of predictability? 

I watch Jim Carrey’s How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000) all year long. No shame here! I love it and it makes me happy.

OVERWHELM WORKAROUND: If the TV feels too bright or too loud for how you’re feeling, turn the brightness setting on the TV down and turn the volume really low. Seeing and hearing familiar words will still be comforting but less overwhelming for your brain.

Take a Bubble Bath or Hot Shower

I don’t know about you, but when I’m stressed and overwhelmed, or if I’ve just had a bad day, I feel the immense need to shower. To me, it feels like I’m washing off the day’s crap and the warm water helps the world fall away for a few minutes. 

Evidently I’m not the only one who feels this way! 

Sometimes I like a bubble bath, but more importantly than the mode of getting clean is the getting clean part itself. The hot water can help you breathe better, relieve pain, and even open your pores. 

Taking a hot bath or shower can also give you a moment of quiet alone time - or meditation time - away from everything else in your life. It can also feel really good if you’re stiff on a flare day. The best thing is, you don’t really need to buy anything to indulge! If you do want to get a little fancy, I like lavender Epsom salt.

PAIN WORKAROUND: If you’re in a lot of pain, getting in the shower can actually help a lot. Try putting a plastic chair or stool in the bathtub that you can sit on when you’re under the water. It doesn’t really matter what it is, as long as it’s okay to get wet. You might be surprised by how soothing the hot water is.

Meditate

I’ve written a lot about meditation, but it’s a daily staple for me. When I was younger (and my anxiety was wildly out of control), I thought meditation was only for religious use. I also thought that everyone who meditated had figured out how to fold their legs just so and magically could achieve inner peace by rhythmically chanting “Ohm.”

I won’t say that those things aren’t true, because you definitely can meditate for religious reasons - and if sitting with crossed legs on a yoga mat works for you, go for it! 

But that’s not the only way to practice meditation.  I don’t remember the last time I sat cross legged and not immediately moved because it hurt.

Meditation can happen in a number of ways - even down to 5 minute mindfulness practices! It’s a great tool for self-care because when you meditate, you clear your mind and focus on your breathing. As you learn how to effectively meditate, you can more quickly and easily shed stress and anxiety. 

I particularly like the Insight Timer and Calm apps - both free to use with lots of options for guided imagery, breathing, and general mindfulness. I use at least one them for before bed every night and often during the day to relax when I have a moment.

OVERWHELM WORKAROUND: If you’re overwhelmed and need immediate assistance calming down, Insight Timer has guided talks that will help you come down from being panicky. It also has courses (on the premium version) that can help you learn how to figure out your best path to calm when you get overwhelmed.

Go for a Walk or Sit Outside

I’m a big proponent of walking. I have two dogs, so we walk a lot - usually 3-4 times a day, especially when the weather is nice! In the extremes we hide indoors.

Walking is good form of exercise, pretty low pressure on your body if you take it at your own pace. For self-care, getting your body moving regularly can have great physical & mental benefits! It changes your scenery for a little bit and can give you time away from whatever you’ve been working on or worrying about to focus on yourself or something that you want to think about. 

Bonus: if you have dogs, they’ll be glad to join you and they won’t require you to come up with any conversation - perfect for overwhelm days.

PAIN WORKAROUND: I love walking, but some days I just can’t do as much as I want. If you have chronic pain, you know. If you’re having a flare day, open your door and feel the breeze for a little while. If you can, sit outside for a few minutes. You’ll still get benefits from being outside but without a lot of painful movement.

Take a Nap or Rest

Before I had other coping strategies for my anxiety, napping was my immediate go-to. It’s the fastest, most effective way to shut down my brain and bring it to a full stop. I’ve found that when I’m overwhelmed, doing a brief meditation and resting for a little while really helps. I can’t always fall asleep if I’m in pain or overwhelmed, but it still helps to rest.

As it turns out, napping remains a great self-care strategy, although I’m glad I have some other tools now, too. Napping is a great form of self-care because you’re listening to your mind and body about what it needs. 

While it can seem counterproductive to take a nap amidst a mile-long to-do list (or the one thing you promised yourself you’d do today but you can’t seem to get motivated to do), you’ll find that taking a moment for a little self-care actually boosts productivity and morale. You’ll feel more relaxed when you wake up or get up from your rest, even if it’s just for a few minutes.

This is easily one of my top 3 well-loved and most used forms of self-care.

OVERWHELM WORKAROUND: If your brain is exploding and everything feels like too much, your brain may not love laying down. Try turning on soft music or white noise and lay down anyway. Set a timer and focus on breathing in and out slowly. Continue to tell yourself it’s okay, and remind yourself that you set a timer so you won’t rest “too long.” I’m not saying it’s easy, a lot of times it’s not; however, if you practice for a few minutes at a time, you can build up a practice that will work for you when you need it.

Get Creative and/or Find a Hobby

With so many of us working from home or having a side business, it’s important to have some sort of separation between work and personal life. If you’re like me, working could easily take over everything if you don’t intentionally set boundaries and practice self-care. 

Figuring out other things to do was, at first, tricky. I love learning new things, and I generally like things I do at work. No matter how much you like your job or pieces of it, it’s a good idea to have something completely separate for a hobby.

The more I do it, the more I realize that making and taking the time to work on creative things is easily one of my top 3 types of self-care. It’s satisfying to make something cute or pretty and I can get completely absorbed in something that I purely enjoy rather than have to “work on” to make money. 

Right now I’m really into Sharpie and watercolor, and making tiny coloring books (that I probably won’t ever use but are so cute.

PAIN WORKAROUND: If what you love to do isn’t doable with your pain, try opening a free Canva account and design something. It’s super user-friendly, and you’re not obligated to show anyone. Sometimes it’s even fun to just look around at all the things you could create if you wanted. Maybe it will inspire you to try one.

Doing self-care doesn’t necessarily mean you have to take yourself to a spa (but if you’re going, I’ll tag along). It’s about the small things, a lot of which are cheap and doable, that help us take care of all of ourselves - body, mind, and spirit.

Do you do something that’s not listed? Let me know!

Interview with an Author: Rebecca Wilson Macsovits

Our December guest is Rebecca Wilson Macsovits.

An accomplished business leader and creative professional, Rebecca Wilson Macsovits, is the author of “Guion the Lion,” a children’s book that celebrates differences and encourages empathy. Throughout her career, Rebecca has led initiatives to help companies engage with clients in rewarding and productive ways, and her creative spirit has led her to extend her talents to the children’s literature space.

Rebecca is a Colorado mother of three, including her oldest son, Guion, who has Down Syndrome. He inspired her to create the world of Guion the Lion, which shows children – and adults, too – how being curious about others and opening their minds to different perspectives can lead to new adventures – and fun!

When Rebecca isn’t busy dreaming up new adventures for Guion the Lion, she’s Chief Brand Officer of Kemmons Wilson Companies where she supports corporate and the portfolio companies in their efforts to refine their brands, build awareness, grow sales, and strengthen their employee engagement programs. She also sits on the board of Kemmons Wilson Insurance Group.

Rebecca earned an MBA in Finance and Operations from Vanderbilt University and a Bachelor of Science degree in Mathematics from Wake Forest University.

Committed to improving her community, Rebecca is Secretary of the Board for the Denver Zoo, Finance Chair for the Kemmons Wilson Family Foundation, a member of Constellation – a philanthropic group focused on early childhood education in Colorado – and organizes a team for the Step Up Walk for Down Syndrome.

If you would like to purchase Rebecca Wilson Macsovits’, Guion the Lion, you can find a copy here. 

Tell us a little about your writing journey. Have you always wanted to be a writer? 

Honestly, no. I was a math major because I loved the black and white nature of the work – there is always a right answer. When I had Guion, I had the idea of a children’s book to really share my message and express my thoughts. I started studying how to write for children. I attended several writer’s conferences geared towards children’s books, participated in a few writers circles where we shared manuscripts and offered feedback and I read a ton of children’s books to get a better handle on how I wanted to approach my story. 

Was there a certain point you remember where you felt empowered to call yourself a writer? Or have you always felt like you were a writer?

I really felt empowered when I finished the manuscript and published the book. That being said, I think I’m always evolving and striving to become better as a writer.

I really felt empowered when I finished the manuscript and published the book.

Your book, “Guion the Lion,” was lovingly inspired by your son Guion. When you initially thought of the idea to write about him, what does it mean to you that you chose the lion figure?

That’s a fun question. First, I love animals and children often connect with them so that’s how we got to animals as characters. Why a lion? These beautiful creatures are known for their courage and I wanted a character that would embody that characteristic – I got lucky that it rhymes with Guion. 

The illustrations do an amazing job of showing your powerful message. What was it like to work with an illustrator, and/or were you able to help conceptualize the characters?

I was grateful to work with a local illustrator and working with Milena Kirkova was a dream - not only is she an amazing artist but she is extremely creative and thoughtful in her approach. She took conceptually what I had thought of these characters – all inspired by family members – and brought them to life.

Why did you choose to write a children’s book versus another genre?

I had a specific message to share and children are my audience. Judgements are formed at an early stage in children’s development. My goal was to reach out to kids when they are still forming their opinions to impress upon them the importance of staying open-minded and listening to others.

The bonus is that at this age, parents are typically reading the stories to their kids and learning along side them.

I thought a beautifully illustrated and written children’s book that engaged a child with adventure would be most impactful. I think we got it right, as the feedback we have received is that people can identify with the different characters and this allows us to get our message out even more.

Describe your writing and/or creative process.

We (I worked with my team) started with the end in mind. We asked ourselves what is our message and then asked how can we best get this message across? Once we identified our message, we explored a few different story lines before landing on the one we published. We always kept our goal in mind to ensure we had a meaningful and desired impact.

How long did it take you to write the book? 

9 months or so – we were deliberate and wanted to get it right

I love the questions about the book at the end, and the family activities. What inspired you to include those pieces?

It’s a quasi-lesson plan to help parents better engage their children with the message of the book. I know for sure I wish I had more of these when my kids were younger. And we included the activities to encourage families to reinforce the learnings outside of the book.                                                                          

What was your biggest writing obstacle and how did you overcome it?

Yikes! For me, the editing process. I view my work critically and am constantly challenging myself to make sure things are to the best of my ability. I found that self-imposed deadlines can be helpful to keep the process moving.

I found that self-imposed deadlines can be helpful to keep the process moving.

What is the part of your published work or writing process you are most proud of?

The publication of the book and the initial response to the book has been so rewarding. 

What motivates you to keep writing?

I really want to make a positive impact on as many lives as I can and that inspires me to keep pushing my mission. As I shared, the initial feedback has been really positive and has encouraged me to continue on this path.

What is the biggest piece of advice you would give to aspiring writers?

Work on your craft. Conferences may not be as accessible today, but look into webinars, research writers’ groups, network with others in the same space, and be open to feedback. When you take the time to listen to someone’s perspective you might find your own improving. And schedule time in your calendar to actually write!

When you take the time to listen to someone’s perspective you might find your own improving.

If you would like to purchase Rebecca Wilson Macsovits’, Guion the Lion, you can find a copy here. 

If you know an author (or of an author) you would love to read an interview with, email me at rachel@capturingyourconfidence.com or submit a suggestion here!

How to Know When to Walk Away from a Writing Idea

As writers, we know that ideas come and go, and are never predictable. Whenever a good idea comes along, we have to latch onto it so it doesn’t escape us! However, sometimes, even after a lot of time and hard work, we may need to make the decision to walk away from a writing idea. The real question is: how do we decide if we need to walk away?

Why People Don’t Want to Walk Away

When we’ve spent hours upon hours working on a project or a writing idea, it can be hard to walk away from it, even if we know it’s the right thing to do. 

Here are some excuses we may be using to justify continuing a project that’s run its course:

I’ve been working on it a long time

When you have a lot of time invested in any project, writing related or not, it's easy to feel as if it was time wasted if you decide to walk away. It’s important to know that any time spent on writing is never wasted time. In every moment spent writing, you are improving your skills and learning new techniques.

I’ve already written so much

Awesome! Now you have material you can either repurpose, or rewrite for another idea! When working on a writing idea, we always have the option of pulling from our previous projects. If you’re letting this hold you back from moving on, don’t worry! This writing is not wasted material: we can always come back to it or use it for writing ideas in the future. 

I love it but I can’t figure out how to make it a priority

We can enjoy something and sometimes do it, but not make it a priority. If you have too much on your plate, you can take a break from whatever isn’t the most important. For example, I have a new puppy, so she is my main priority right now, and writing has to come second. 

If I don’t have time to write for a day, or a week, I don’t beat myself up about it. I know I can always go back to my writing. It’s okay if you can’t make something a priority. When it’s something we love, we can make small amounts of time for it with the realization that we need to focus on our most important tasks first. 

Won’t I be a “failure” if I switch topics?

There is a lot of fear of failure as a writer. We have to worry about people criticizing our writing, rejecting our submissions, or our work just falling flat. Fear of failure doesn’t have to keep us from moving on to bigger and better ideas. Switching topics just means you have enough self-awareness to know when a project isn’t working out any more.

I’m not a  “real writer” if I can’t finish an idea

If you write, you’re a real writer. Don’t let anyone else define that for you, and don’t let your perceived failures dictate it either. Real writers write. If you decide halfway through a project that your idea isn’t as good as you once thought, or you just don’t have the same passion for it as before, it’s better for you and your readers to walk away from that idea. 

How to Know When it’s Better to Walk Away

The hard part of all of this is how to know when it’s time to walk away. Sometimes it may be an obvious decision, other times not so much. It’s important to remember that we don’t have to walk away from an idea forever. We can always go back to an idea later, or reuse some or all of what we’ve already written. 

Here are 3 ways to know when we need to walk away or take a break: 

1. You’re no longer interested in or passionate about your idea

   If you’ve lost interest in an idea, or lost your passion for it, it may be time to walk away. It might still be a great idea, but maybe it would be better suited to someone else. If we no longer feel the same passion we did when we started, it’s going to be hard to finish the project. It will also show in our writing if we are trying to force interest in our ideas just to finish them.

2. The idea is not serving you/helping you grow & get better

   Writing is a lot of work and usually takes a lot of time. If an idea isn’t doing anything for you, or helping you grow in some way, it may be time to walk away. It’s important that our writing has a purpose, whether that’s to better ourselves, or to help better others. It’s important to keep sight of our “why.” 

   Once a writing idea loses its usefulness, it’s hard to justify continuing work on it. People pick up a book or read an article with the idea that they are going to get something out of it. Make sure to keep that in mind. Whatever we’re trying to convey in our writing reflects our vision and communicates our message. 

3. The idea feels like work

   If you’re no longer having fun with a writing idea, it may be time to walk away. If it feels like work, it’s going to be that much harder for us to finish because all we’ll be able to think about is how much we’d rather be doing something else. Take a break or find a new idea that brings you joy.

Next Steps

There are many different reasons we may have for walking away from a writing idea, and some may be more pressing than others. In any case, it’s important to remember, whether you see it through or walk away, you are or can still be, an accomplished writer! Don’t let self-doubt and fear hold you back from new ideas, or from walking away from an unfinished project. 

1. Review what you have. Take a look at what you have for your writing idea so far. Do you still have passion for or interest in the idea? Does it have a purpose or goal? Is it still enjoyable?

2. Decide whether it’s worth continuing the idea. If you said “no” to any of the above questions, then it may be time to walk away or take a break. 

3. Get help working on your idea or starting a new one. Sometimes all we need is another set of eyes to help us decide whether it’s time to walk away from an idea. Click here to read more about working with Rachel & Holly.

My challenge to you is to have the courage to walk away from a writing idea that isn’t benefiting you. 

Do you think you need to reevaluate a writing idea? Have you had to walk away from a project? If so, what helped you make the decision to walk away? I’d love to hear about your experiences and recommendations! Find us on social media or drop a comment below.

Let’s chat because you, my friend, are on your way to great writing.