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Boundaries for Business During the Holidays
This blog goes over how to set boundaries with clients and people in your personal life during the holiday season.
Ah, the holidays. It’s the most wonderful time of the year… and the most stressful. You’re getting pulled in all sorts of directions from family, friends, clients, employees, and contractors that you barely have an hour to yourself in December. Sound familiar?
This is the time of year to set boundaries, if you haven’t already. You need to set boundaries with clients and people in your personal life. It’s challenging enough to balance everything that’s asked of you this time of year. Let’s make sure you're set up to be a ray of sunshine this holiday season.
What Does it Mean to Set Boundaries?
Boundaries allow you to set expectations with people in your life. You should always set boundaries so you can maintain a healthy work-life balance, and not be put in uncomfortable or frustrating situations.
The word ‘boundary’ can come off a little harsh, but it doesn’t have to be that way. You can set boundaries in a respectful, kind, and subtle way. In other words, you don’t have to say, “You’re breaking my boundaries!” Calmly let someone know how their actions make you feel. (We’ll get into the “how” of this more in a minute.)
Why it’s Important to Set Boundaries
Work boundaries are especially important during the holidays. Your time is stretched by more people, activities, and things to do… It can get stressful if you don’t have boundaries set in place!
In business, setting boundaries will allow you to show up as your best self. You won’t come to work run ragged or angry or frustrated or sleep-deprived. It’s up to you to take care of yourself so you can perform your best work. When you set boundaries (and stick to them), you and your clients will benefit.
The question is: what boundaries do you need to put in place to help you do that?
It’s much harder to set boundaries in your personal life. Saying no to mom or dad is different than saying no to a client. But it’s how you show up as your best self. You have to do what’s best for you, even if it means disappointing people you care about.
This isn’t to say you shouldn’t be respectful and explain why you’re making the choices with your boundaries. Your loved ones care about you and want the best for you. If that means you have to set a boundary with them, they’ll learn to work within it or around it.
3 Steps to Set Boundaries in Your Business
So we know we need boundaries, but how do we establish them? Let me let you in on a little secret: it’s not actually that complicated. Notice I didn’t say “easy” - it can be hard to maintain boundaries, especially for small businesses, during the holidays.
That being said, these 3 simple steps will make a world of difference!
1. Inform Clients of Time Off
It’s okay to take time off, especially during the holidays! A lot of people are taking time off, and no one will blame you for doing the same. It’s a much-needed break that we encourage you to take!
But, be clear about when you will be unavailable. Give your clients time to accommodate your absence. You don’t want to leave them high and dry, so give them plenty of notice about your time off and what you can do for them before taking vacation time.
Setting an out-of-office reminder is also a must-do. Just because you inform your clients of your time off doesn’t mean they’ll remember. They have enough on their plate (which is probably why they hired you). They don’t have time to remember your schedule. Set an automated out-of-office email as a gentle reminder that you’re not available. Don’t forget to mention when you’ll be back online and include a way to contact you if it’s an emergency.
2. How to Communicate with you
How do you prefer to communicate with your clients? Personally, I don’t mind texting and phone calls, but some people don’t like that. With so many means of communicating nowadays, you need to make it clear what you prefer.
When you tell clients your preferences up front, you won’t be stuck in an awkward situation of a client messaging you on Facebook Messenger (and missing the message entirely) when you prefer email or texting. It sets a clear boundary between your work and personal life.
3. Say No
Everyone understands that the holidays are ultra-busy. If you say no to a project or extra meeting because you don’t have the time or energy to do it, it’s okay! Let your client know, respectfully, that you would prefer to push it back to the new year because you don’t have the capacity to take on anything more. If they need something done quickly, they may have to find someone else to complete the project. That’s okay, too!
I learned this lesson the hard way, and in fact still sometimes have the urge to take on more than I can really accomplish. I said yes to too many clients at once, because I wanted to grow my business and income faster. But as soon as I turned to examine what was actually on my plate, it immediately became overwhelming. I was working all the time, feeling the constant presence of burnout. It honestly sucked. So when I was able to finally say “no” to a stressful client that wasn’t a good fit for my business, it felt like the weight of the world was lifted off my shoulders. It’s hard, but saying no is a good thing.
3 Ways to Set Boundaries in Your Personal Life
Setting boundaries with family and friends is one of the hardest things to do. Especially around the holidays, your time and attention are requested more than usual. You might be seeing family you only see once a year. Maybe friends are flying in for the holidays and want to hang out. It’s generally just a hectic time of year.
During this hectic time, your boundaries will be your besties. Here are a few ways you can set boundaries with people in your personal life.
1. Say No
Yes, I’m saying it again! It’s okay to say no to things you don’t want to do or simply don’t have the time to do. It does you more harm than good to squeeze in another lunch date with a friend or spend five hours shopping for the perfect gift at the mall with your aunt. You get to decide what’s most important to you.
2. Explain Your Boundary
Establishing new boundaries isn’t easy. People may not understand why you suddenly stop doing something you used to do. While you don’t owe anyone an explanation, it’s a good idea to let people know the basics of why you’re making the change.
You can say something like, “I’m going to stop doing XYZ because it makes me uncomfortable.” Or, “I’m going to start doing XYZ so I can have better balance in my life.” Inform people of your boundary and kindly remind them if they accidentally break them. Eventually, your boundaries will become a habit for them, too.
3. Don’t Accept Less
How often do we accept someone being 10 minutes late, breaking something they borrowed from you, bailing on plans, or not following up on a promise? I’ve been burned many times, and it stings each time. I know things happen, but it feels like “things happen” with certain people. Every. Single. Time.
Eventually enough has to be enough. It’s okay to make less time for people who flake out on you at the last minute every time you get together, and it’s okay to express disappointment when someone breaks a promise. That doesn’t mean you have to cut them out of your life (unless that’s the boundary you want to draw), but it should make you evaluate what you want and expect from the relationship.
Start to set boundaries with those around you. It’s okay to let people know your expectations. PsychCentral suggests, “If you’re dealing with someone who is perpetually late, communicate this to them ahead of time — let them know you will be leaving after a certain amount of time has passed. Still, try not to sound accusatory. Consider acknowledging that you two have different personalities. You’re not trying to change them, but you need to set time boundaries for yourself because you can’t afford or don’t want to wait any longer.”
If there’s a main takeaway here (or if you’ve scrolled to the bottom - hi, friend!), know that it’s good to set boundaries for yourself. You need them to have a happy, healthy, and balanced life. No one will set them for you. It’s up to you to decide what boundaries to set, who to set them with, and how to enforce them. You’ve got this!
Wishing you and your loved ones a happy holiday!
25 Inspirational Quotes for Writing
Finding the motivation to write can be difficult some days. You probably don’t want to force yourself to write, but if you need to get some writing done, an extra push can help get you going. Sometimes all we need is a little inspiration before we dive into writing. Here are 25 inspirational quotes to spark your inspiration!
Finding the motivation to write can be difficult some days. You probably don’t want to force yourself to write, but if you need to get some writing done, an extra push can help get you going. Sometimes all we need is a little inspiration before we dive into writing.
Here are 25 inspirational quotes to spark your inspiration!
“If there’s a book that you want to read, but it hasn’t been written yet, then you must write it.”
“Read a thousand books, and your words will flow like a river.”
“You fail only if you stop writing.”
“If the book is true, it will find an audience that is meant to read it.”
“Don’t forget-no one else sees the world the way you do, so no one else can tell the stories that you have to tell.”
“If I waited for perfection… I would never write a word.”
“The Six Golden Rules of Writing: Read, read, read, and write, write, write.”
“Writing—the art of communicating thoughts to the mind, through the eye—is the great invention of the world.”
“You can always edit a bad page. You can’t edit a blank page.”
“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.”
“A professional writer is an amateur who didn’t quit.”
“This is how you do it: you sit down at the keyboard and you put one word after another until it’s done. It’s that easy, and that hard.”
“Start writing, no matter what. The water does not flow until the faucet is turned on.”
“Write while the heat is in you. The writer who postpones the recording of his thoughts uses an iron which has cooled to burn a hole with.”
“Get it down. Take chances. It may be bad, but it’s the only way you can do anything really good.”
“To gain your own voice, you have to forget about having it heard.”
“Do not hoard what seems good for a later place in the book, or for another book; give it, give it all, give it now.”
“It is perfectly okay to write garbage—as long as you edit brilliantly.”
“When you have a dream, you’ve got to grab it and never let go.”
“No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world.”
“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.”
“First, you write for yourself... always, to make sense of experience and the world around you. It’s one of the ways I stay sane. Our stories, our books, our films are how we cope with the random trauma-inducing chaos of life as it plays.”
“The scariest moment is always just before you start.”
“I believe there is power in words, power in asserting our existence, our experience, our lives, through words.”
“People are going to judge you all the time no matter what you do. . . Don’t worry about other people. Worry about you.”
There are so many great quotes that can help inspire you to write. Hopefully some of these will spark your creativity and get the words flowing.
Do you already have a favorite quote that inspires you to write?
Let us know in the comments!
How to Show Gratitude in Business
Showing gratitude can help your business grow. Establishing a culture of gratitude is an easy way to set yourself up for success. It’s one of the easiest things to do but somehow always gets forgotten. This blog explains a few easy ways to show gratitude for those you work with.
It’s the time of year to reflect on what we’re grateful for. Although we often focus on gratitude for the holidays, we should practice gratitude more than once a year because it will help our businesses grow.
Yes, showing gratitude can help your business grow.
It’s one of the easiest things to do but somehow always gets forgotten. People start to feel resentful, unvalued, disrespected, and unappreciated, which leads to an unhappy workplace with high turnover - unappreciated customers who don’t return to purchase from your business.
Establishing a culture of gratitude is an easy way to set yourself up for success.
Why Gratitude is Important for Business
Are you more likely to do business with someone who takes your money and runs, or someone who shows genuine appreciation for your business? I’m guessing the latter (let’s face it, we all want to be appreciated). Showing appreciation for “your people” greatly improves the amount of business you receive and builds your loyal customer base. People will keep coming back to you when they feel truly appreciated and valued.
On the other hand, employees and employers need to feel appreciated, too. An excerpt from Intelligent Change reveals something interesting about U.S. workplaces:
“Recent research conducted by the John Templeton Foundation revealed that for Americans, the workplace is the least likely place to express gratitude. Although as many as 93% of the respondents agreed that a grateful boss is more likely to succeed, and almost all of them agreed that a simple ‘thank you’ at work made them feel valued and respected, only 10% were actually prone to express gratefulness. The majority, or 60% of the respondents, have never expressed gratitude at work, or have only done so once a year!”
That’s pretty sad! How does showing gratitude once a year foster a positive work environment? It doesn’t. Employees and bosses need positive affirmation, encouragement, and to feel respected and appreciated to be their best selves in the workplace. It will make work more enjoyable for everyone, which is important since we spend so much of our one life doing it.
How to Adopt an Attitude of Gratitude
It takes a conscious effort to choose an attitude of gratitude. It’s not something that happens overnight, and even for those who practice gratitude regularly, it can be harder on difficult days. Adopting a gratitude mindset and intentionally practicing gratitude every day will get you there, though. And it’s definitely worth it.
Mindset
I like this definition of a gratitude mindset from Lucemi Consulting:
“When you have a gratitude mindset, you focus on the limitless opportunities available in business and life because you already appreciate what you have. When you are grateful, you choose to focus on the positive things rather than the negative things.”
Mindset is key when adopting an attitude of gratitude. You can see opportunity everywhere, but you’re aware of and thankful for where you are and what you have today. No one can take away your choice to be grateful for the life you have or the opportunities you’ve been given.
Attract What You Put Out in the World
You attract what you put out in the world. (Yes, it’s the law of attraction - you knew it was coming.) If you’re constantly throwing negativity into the world, you’re going to get negativity back. If you switch that mindset and start putting positivity into the world, you will attract it back to you. If you constantly show gratitude to people, they will return the favor.
Another aspect of this is that whatever you’re putting out in the world, you notice more in your own life. In the case of gratitude, when you constantly praise people for the work they’ve done, you notice when people do the same in return. Sometimes small notes of praise can go unnoticed, but when you make that a core value of your business, you notice when people are expressing gratitude towards yourself and others.
4 Ideas for Showing Gratitude in Your Business
Obviously showing gratitude is important to growing your business, but how do you go about actually doing that? Here are a few ideas of how to start.
Keep a Gratitude Journal
I like to practice gratitude journaling in the morning. It sets me on the right foot for the day. I make a list of 10-15 things that I’m grateful for. I try to be really specific, too. Not just “food” (which, of course, I am grateful for). Instead, I would write something like, “I am grateful that I have the means to purchase food I want.” Be specific when you fill out a gratitude journal. It will be fun to look back after a few months or even years to see how much you’ve grown and developed as a human.
Be Grateful for Small Things that Happen Every Day
Do you know how many small things happening every day that you can be grateful for? Probably hundreds. During your gratitude journaling, identify small things that have happened to you in the last day or two that you can be grateful for. In addition (or alternatively), you can log your gratitude each night in a journal or app like Pixels.
Send Gifts to Clients or Customers
Client gifts aren’t just for the holidays. You can send thank you letters when they sign with you, a quick birthday message, or a small gift of congratulations when they hit a milestone in their business. It’s always nice to receive “fun mail,” as I like to call it. It makes clients feel special and appreciated.
Show appreciation to employees
We’ve all been part of the corporate world and felt unappreciated. If you haven’t, you’re one of the lucky few. It makes you dread work every day, resentful toward the company, and often straight-up miserable. Create a culture of gratitude and appreciation among employees. Give them positive affirmations, small gifts or thank you cards, and encourage employees to show gratitude among themselves, too. An appreciated employee is happier and has a higher job performance. Who doesn’t want that for the people who work with them?
P.S. Freelancers and contractors who do work for you count, too!
I encourage you to practice showing gratitude daily. Start a daily gratitude journal, send gifts to clients or customers, and create a culture of gratitude by regularly showing employee appreciation. Not only will your business flourish, but you and everyone around you will be happier and more grateful people. We need more of those people in the world, don’t you agree?
6 Simple Ways to Build Creative Confidence
Doing creative work requires some semblance of confidence, whether to help get you started, or to keep you going. Without confidence, you can run into problems like writer's block, imposter syndrome, and overall fear and anxiety about your work... When you feel confident in your own work, other people will feel more confident about it, too.
Doing creative work requires some semblance of confidence, whether to help get you started, or to keep you going. Without confidence, you can run into problems like writer's block, imposter syndrome, and overall fear and anxiety about your work.
Having confidence in your own writing takes it to a whole new level. When you feel confident in your own work, other people will feel more confident about it, too.
What is Confidence?
In the most basic sense, confidence is the “quality of being certain of your abilities or of having trust in people, plans, or the future.”
Confidence has everything to do with how we feel about the actions we take (or could take) to be successful. When we’re confident, we feel sure we can accomplish what we need to serve others and ourselves, as well as succeed in the future.
In other words, confidence helps you on your road to success. (If you want to read more about confidence, we did a mini-series about it.)
Why Do Some Writers Lack Confidence?
It feels like it should be easy to stay confident in yourself, but it’s often hard to do. You’ve probably wondered whether your writing is “good enough” - and so it is with many writers. We’ve all been there. It’s a human thing to question yourself - and completely normal.
When you tell other people you're a writer, they ask questions, too. Some questions seem harmless, like “What do you write?” Other questions, such as “When are you going to get published?” can create a sneaking doubt in your mind and make you wonder if you’re good enough to get published. And if so, what will people think? Will people want to read it? And what if they do and they don’t like it?
Then there’s the ever-famous bad experience that seems to happen to all writers at one point or another. For those of us who love writing and have been doing it since we were young, we often started out full of confidence - of course our ideas were good! Then, we have a moment or an encounter where someone gives us negative criticism we don’t know what to do with that alters the course of our writing lives. It sometimes takes years for confidence to grow (and for some it never quite comes back in the same gleeful way).
So what do you do about these doubts? And how the heck do you gain confidence in yourself and your writing when it feels impossible?
6 Ways to Build Creative Confidence
These are some of the ways we (and our clients!), here at Capturing Your Confidence that work - writer to writer.
Journaling
Journaling is great because you never have to show it to anyone, so you never have to worry about whether people will enjoy it. Journaling is all for you. It’s a safe space where you can write about anything you want.
It can be a daily routine (like Rachel’s morning pages practice); a place to write out all your story ideas; a place to vent all your fears, successes, or memories you want to remember; or, you can use it for all of the above.
If you need multiple journals, that’s okay! Journaling is meant to help you, whatever that might look like.
Start Small
If you want to write, but it seems too daunting, start small. You can always work your way up to your longer term goal. For instance, say you want to write a book, but you’re not sure if you can (because it is a lot), you can start with a short story or essay.
It doesn’t have to have anything to do with what you want to write your book about. The process of writing that shorter piece will help you figure out things like how quickly or slowly you write, what style and genres you prefer, and whether or not you actually want to write something longer.
If you’re thinking about writing professionally for readers online, you can start small by writing guest posts on someone else’s blog. Doing this helps you test the waters before you make the commitment to building your own blog. You can also publish on sites like Medium, where you don’t have to pay to post, but you can see if what you’re writing about is something people are looking for.
No matter what you want to write, there are ways to work your way up to that end goal.
Read Your Writing & Find Things You Like (On Purpose)
One of the best things you can do for your writing confidence is to read your writing. Be intentional about it - find your favorite parts and best lines. Ignore the pieces that you feel aren’t up to par (let’s be honest, it can’t all be gold), and really feel the pieces you’re proud of.
Whenever you’re feeling self-doubt or just need some inspiration to keep writing, go back and read those pieces you picked out. Remind yourself that you are good enough, no matter what anyone else says. It’s easy to forget your own capabilities when you aren’t looking back at your work.
Writing is a constant growth & learning process and it’s important to look back to see how far you’ve come.
Share Your Writing with One Person
When you’re ready to share your writing with someone, choose one person you trust to start with. Tell them exactly what you want from them, whether it’s honesty, or simply to hype you up. It’s okay to want someone who will point out the good pieces of your writing for your first outside perspective.
Eventually you’ll need them to tell you what needs work, but if you’re not ready for that, don’t feel pressure to ask for that on your first share. The worst feeling is giving someone your work and having them tear it apart when it wasn’t ready for that type of criticism yet. Don’t ask for the brutal honesty until you you’ve edited and worked to make your draft as strong as it can be without an outside eye.
DO NOT CHOOSE SOCIAL MEDIA AS YOUR ONE PERSON.
Let me repeat that: when you select the first person to read your work, DO NOT share it publicly on any type of social media platform. This is a recipe for a shitstorm of criticism, which is not what this first person share is about.
Take a Break from Social Media
First, a note: we’re not anti-social media here. You can make connections with fellow writers, and run effective marketing for your book on social media. It’s a great opportunity to meet people you probably wouldn’t in real life!
But it’s a double-edged sword. If you’re scrolling through Insta or TikTok for hours on end, you have less time for your own creative work. It’s easy to fall into the trap of comparing yourself to others, which saps creativity, sometimes without you even knowing it’s happening. Imposter syndrome anyone?
Much of what you see on social media isn’t real anyway.
Someone may say they write for five hours everyday, or read twenty books every month, but you don’t know that’s actually the case. Even if it is, they’re not you. Everyone is different. Everyone writes and reads at a different pace, and everyone experiences self-doubt sometimes (even the loudest people).
So, make sure to take a break from social media every once in a while. Even if it’s only for a day, take a step back and remind yourself of who you are and why you’re writing. Take a day to explore and inspire yourself, or to rest and relax. Whatever you need to do, allow yourself those moments to rejuvenate yourself.
Keep Practicing, Even When You’re Not Feeling Confident
Even when you’re not feeling confident, write anyway. It doesn’t have to be your best work. In fact, if it’s something that feels like garbage, that’s okay, too. We all do it, words don’t come out perfect, even for the best of us. That’s what editing is for.
You don’t even have to do anything with it. All the time you spend writing is making you a better writer. Practicing even when you’re not confident can sometimes (inadvertently) lead to some of the best work, which is sure to restore at least a little confidence. Remember - all you have to do is write. Everything else is peripheral.
My challenge to you is to try these tips when you need a confidence boost and let us know what works best for you!
Spooky Cookbook Author Bridget Thoreson Talks Recipes & Writing
If you love Hocus Pocus, you'll love our Halloween themed spooky cookbook author interview with Bridget Thoreson!
Our October author is Bridget Thoreson.
Bridget Thoreson is a writer and booklover based in Brooklyn, New York. Her other books include XOXO: A Cocktail Book and consulting for Are You My Wine? Clearly, Bridget is very interested in drinking, eating, and pop culture.
If you’d like to purchase a copy of The Unofficial Hocus Pocus Cookbook, you can find it here.
Tell us a little about your writing journey. Have you always wanted to be a writer?
I always knew that I wanted to work with books and for a long time I thought I wanted to be a writer. Then, I started my career in books and the desire became more focused on helping other people write books.
Then, a couple of years ago my first book project came along, XOXO, A Cocktail Book: An Unofficial Gossip Girl Fan Book and I had so much fun writing that, the bug was reawakened!
What inspired you to put together your book The Unofficial Hocus Pocus Cookbook?
The film is all the inspiration I needed! I’ve always been a huge fan. But, the timing was inspired by the exciting news that, after almost 30 years, a sequel is coming out!
How did you choose the recipes to include? And do you have a favorite?
The recipes are all either based on people or events in the movie, or are classic fall comfort foods. Hocus Pocus is a Halloween film, but I didn't want to just make it about ghoulish Halloween foods like peeled grape eyeballs. I also wanted to capture the vibe of Salem at Halloween. So there are a lot of hearty stews and seasonal flavors.
My favorite recipe to eat is the Dead Man's Chungs (crab cake balls with a delicious remoulade sauce). I'm from Maryland, so crab cakes are always high on my list! I love baking, so the Brown Butter Boooook Blondies are another favorite.
What was the process like putting together a cookbook?
It definitely required a lot of organization. Since the cookbook's theme is a movie rather than a food category, I wanted to put a wide range of things in there--breakfast through dinner, drinks, sweets, etc.--and to organize it based on the movie themes.
I needed to make sure I had enough side dishes vs. entrees and enough alcoholic beverages vs. virgin ones. I also had to make sure each section had a good mix. So organization was key.
Describe your creative process.
My creative process changes depending on the project I'm working on. In general, I definitely do best when I have some space from the project. I suffer from blank page syndrome, so often what I'll do is a mind dump on the page--half-ideas, words, random notes--so that there's something there I can pull from and get the ideas flowing.
Then, I will step away, sometimes for days, and let those ideas bake. I'll think about it when I'm watching TV, or driving, or just laying on my bed staring at the ceiling. But I take the pressure of the document off. A lot of the best things I've written I wrote in my head first before I typed the words out.
What’s your biggest hope for this cookbook?
My biggest hope is that other members of the Hocus Pocus fan club will read it and get a chuckle out of the headnotes, or see a reference to a classic line they forgot about.
Or maybe use it as an excuse to watch the movie again, and introduce someone new to it!
What was your biggest writing obstacle and how you did you overcome it?
Blank page syndrome! It's hard to start such a big project. I didn't even start writing until I had a full brainstorming document of recipe ideas, important events and references, random phrases, etc. so I had something to pull from when I got stuck or needed inspiration.
What is the part of your published work or writing process you are most proud of?
Of this book, the parts I'm most proud of are the headnotes I wrote in verse. Each recipe has an introduction that relates to the movie. There are a couple I wrote in the same rhythm as the Sanderson Sisters' spells - that was very difficult to match the rhyming scheme and also have it make sense to the recipe, so I'm very proud of those!
Do you have any plans for another book or writing project? If so, could you tell us about them?
No set plans as of yet, but I’m always open to new projects and have my eyes open for them!
What motivates you to keep writing?
Fun projects on topics I’m passionate about!
What is the biggest piece of advice you would give to aspiring writers?
You don’t have to be published to be a writer. If you’ve written anything and want to be a writer, you are one. Identity is a huge part of our behavior, so if you identify as a writer, you will act like a writer.
If you’d like to purchase a copy of The Unofficial Hocus Pocus Cookbook, you can find it here.
Why We’re All a Little Scared of Success (But Need to Act Anyway)
We here at Capturing Your confidence have been afraid, especially in our writing lives. We’ve been the ones who were afraid people wouldn’t like our writing...The only difference between us and anyone else is that we didn’t let those fears hold us back. And you don’t have to either! We’re not promising that fear will go away... But you can move forward anyway. Here's how.
We’ve all felt the fear of failure at some point. It can hang over any task no matter how small or seemingly mundane.
But, have you ever been afraid of what might happen if you succeed? It raises bigger questions like: What would I do if I got the promotion? What would I do if I wasn’t drowning in debt? How would I feel if my book did get published?
If you’ve thought about these things (or something like them), you’re not alone. It’s okay to worry about what might come with success, or the burdens that would bring. It’s okay to want to be successful, but also be scared of success. That doesn’t mean you can’t or won’t still succeed.
Why Success is Scary as Hell
No matter what you’re doing, new things can be scary. No matter how many times you’ve succeeded in other areas of your life, each success brings about tasks and feelings you’ve never encountered before. Let’s be honest, newness and change aren’t always exciting, even when we desperately want them to be.
And even when changes bring great new things into your life, there’s still the fear of the unknown. You don't necessarily know how success will look until you get there. It could look like opportunities beyond your wildest dreams. But it could also look like hardships and stress you don’t yet know how to handle. Sometimes it’s the not knowing that’s the scary part.
Success also creates a new normal. You’ll probably see and feel a lot of changes as you grow (we sometimes lovingly call these growing pains). The reality is that your life will be different. That’s the goal, though, right? Leaving our current routine and comfort zone so we can get to somewhere better. Not that saying it out loud makes it less terrifying, but it’s real.
Scary, But Important
Success brings a lot of amazing opportunities into our lives. As you work toward your goals, you gain knowledge of what leads to success and how to do it again. More specifically, you learn about yourself and what you can do. As you make leaps and bounds past your goals, you learn what works and what doesn’t, what keeps you motivated, and what brings you to a screeching halt.
With the inevitable trial and error it takes to succeed, you’re also gaining experience. Experience helps you to feel more confident in yourself and your skills, and showcase that to others. When you’re trying to find a job or, as a writer, find someone to support your writing, people want to know about your “experience.” We’ve all had that interview question that went something like this: Tell me about yourself and what experience you would bring to the role. With each new goal you reach and success you achieve, you’re building this much sought after experience.
Experience and knowledge are great, but what’s most important isa actually growth and personal development. Every time you learn something new, develop a new skill, fine tune an old skill, make an error, correct yourself, or reach a goal, you grow as a person. You’re becoming a better version of yourself, which, really, is the ultimate success.
Do the Thing that Scares You, Even When You’re Terrified (You Won’t Regret It)
If you stay in your comfort zone forever, you won’t succeed. At least not as much as you dream of because you don’t grow without fear. And if you’re not growing at least a little, you’re probably not succeeding in the way you want.
When you can take even tiny steps outside of your comfort zone, you get experience. For writers, this might look like finding a trusted friend to read a little of your writing even though the thought makes the hair on the back of your neck stand up like you’re in a scary movie. It might not seem like a big deal, and once you send the writing, it might even seem like a small step. But every step forward is progress, no matter how small. It’s one step closer toward your goals, and success.
If you don’t take these steps, you’ll never know how far you could've gone. Would you rather spend your one and only life stuck in your comfort zone wondering what could have been? Or take small steps that scare the living bejeezus out of you and actually find out? Give yourself the chance to find out how you can become a published author or the CEO of your dream business, or whatever dream you’ve been holding onto.
4 Ways to Conquer Your Fear
We here at Capturing Your confidence (all of us) have been afraid, especially in our writing lives. We’ve been the ones who had to close our eyes before pressing send on an email with our beloved book attached on its way to get feedback. We’ve been the ones who were afraid people wouldn’t like our writing, so we kept our most exciting projects to ourselves. We’ve even been the ones who’ve contemplated throwing drafts away or redoing them because we felt like they just weren’t good enough.
The only difference between us and anyone else (because ultimately we’re all humans) is that we didn’t let those fears hold us back. And you don’t have to either! We’re not promising that fear will go away - it won’t. But, we are promising that you can handle it. You can move forward anyway, and that’s what it’s all about.
Write down your worries & fears.
Writing down what’s weighing you down is a great start to understanding how to overcome your fears. Writing them down is helpful to pinpointing what’s causing the fears, why they’re happening, and how to deal with it. Sometimes they’re irrational, or sometimes they’re extremely real. Either way, you have to have a space to think about it in order to work through them.
Talk to someone.
Getting your fears out in the open and out of your own head helps as well. Sometimes we just need a listening ear and we can solve our problems mid-talk. Sometimes we need an objective outside opinion to remind us that we’re not crazy for being scared of these big goals and dreams. Often, the act of talking to someone we trust is soothing, and even if you don’t “solve” the fear, you can figure out ways to better manage it.
Focus on your goals.
Let your motivation drive you, not your fear. Remind yourself regularly why you want this and focus on the goal. This alone can sometimes be enough to get through momentary fears that feel paralyzing. This is probably the most difficult, and most effective way to get through your fears.
This is HARD. It’s not something you’ll want to jump out of bed and do (at least not right away - it’ll get easier as you practice). But it’s okay. It’s okay to ask for help, and it’s okay if you can only take the tiniest steps in the world. These tiny steps are still progress, and you can do this.
Break down your goals.
Make your big goals and dreams more manageable. It’s hard as heck to publish a book or start a business! But you know what those things start with? Small steps like deciding on a main theme or idea. Deciding what you like and feel passionate about, and then putting your ass in the seat and writing it down. 100 words is more than none - it doesn’t even have to be a good 100 words.
A list of people doing what you dream of doing is one step closer to being your own boss because you can start learning what’s possible. Breaking down your goals makes them less daunting and wears down your fear of the unknown and newness. Anyone who’s worn patent leather shoes knows: those damn things are painful (but pretty) when you start, but they become more comfortable as you break them in! You can do the same with your fears and successes.
Remind yourself of your goals & start taking control of your fears.
If you need help, reach out. We’re here to help.
Have you ever been afraid of success? What fear is holding you back right now? What’s one way you overcome your fear of the unknown? We’d love to hear about your experiences! Find me on social media, drop a comment below.
Let’s chat because you, my friend, are on your way to great writing.
Start Showing - Not Telling - with this Unique Writing Tool
As a writer, there are many responsibilities to think about to make sure that my work is the best it can be, so it’s nice to be able to use tools to make them a little less intimidating...One tool I’ve recently discovered that’s extremely useful for editing is The Emotion Thesaurus: A Writer’s Guide to Character Expression by Angela Ackerman & Becca Puglisi.
As a writer, there are many responsibilities to think about to make sure that my work is the best it can be, so it’s nice to be able to use tools to make them a little less intimidating.
I need to be able to write, first and foremost, but I also need to know a bit about editing, formatting, social media, marketing, and networking. Utilizing tools that make these tasks easier isn’t just helpful, but essential to getting everything done.
One tool I’ve recently discovered that’s extremely useful for editing is The Emotion Thesaurus: A Writer’s Guide to Character Expression by Angela Ackerman & Becca Puglisi.
What is the Emotion Thesaurus?
First things first (in case it’s been a little while since you’ve used one), a thesaurus is a tool that tells you synonyms of another word. I always have a tab open on my computer with a thesaurus handy when I’m writing.
The Emotion Thesaurus (TET) is a little more in depth than your average thesaurus. You use it the same way as you would any other reference book, by looking up the emotion in question. In TET, you get a ton of other information about the emotion, too:
The definition
The physical signs/behaviors associated with it
Internal sensations that occur when you experience the emotion
Mental reactions to it
Acute or long term responses for it
Signs that it’s being suppressed
What it may escalate to
What it may de-escalate to
Associated power verbs
Each word has a full two pages allotted to it so you fully understand what the emotion is and what it looks like.
There are other thesauruses by the same authors for other kinds of references:
2 Ways to Use The Emotion Thesaurus
There are multiple ways to use The Emotion Thesaurus. First, you can use it as a dictionary. If you think you have an understanding of a word, but you’re not sure, look it up in the thesaurus! There’s a definition listed, and reading through the rest of the information will familiarize you with the word and its exact usage.
You can also use it as an editing tool, which is what I use it for. You can look up emotions as you write, especially when you’re unsure how to show what they look like. You can also use it when you’re rereading and making edits.
I find it easier to use during the editing process so I don’t have to keep stopping to look up each feeling I want to describe while I write, but either way, it really helps you show the emotion instead of telling your reader about it.
A good way to know when you should be showing vs. telling is whenever you see the words “seem,” “appear,” or “felt.” Try to replace those words with descriptions of what’s happening in the moment.
It’s not that you can’t ever use those words - sometimes they’re necessary - but if you use them a lot, consider swapping them out for descriptions instead.
Why The Emotion Thesaurus is a Helpful Editing Tool
If you have trouble showing vs. telling, this tool is for you. When I’m in the moment, sometimes it’s easier to say how a character is feeling instead of showing it with their actions or expressions. If you write fiction, you’ve probably felt the struggle!
This thesaurus has helped me so much in learning what different emotions actually look like (it’s not always like you see on TV!) so I’m able to properly show them in my writing.
For instance, instead of saying, “they were disgusted” you can say “their lip curled and they wrinkled their nose.” They both convey the same message, but you can visualize disgust with the description much more clearly.
If you don’t know what an emotion feels like, this tool is a must. The internal sensations and mental responses are super helpful in figuring out how the character who’s experiencing the emotion should be reacting on the inside & how they behave on the outside.
For example: A character is feeling impatient. On the inside, they may be experiencing a headache, or becoming tired, but they’re trying to avoid lashing out at whatever is causing the impatience.
Need words that relate to a specific emotion or word you’re looking up (like when something is on the tip of your tongue but you just can’t think of it)? This will help. TET gives you options for words that are more or less intense than the feeling you’re looking up (in the may escalate to/may de-escalate to sections).
For instance: You want to find words related to insecurity. In TET, you’ll find words associated with this feeling include unease, wariness, uncertainty, and nervousness. Although they all have similar meanings, the first two are a little more intense than the second two.
Even if you have showing vs. telling down, I still recommend checking out The Emotion Thesaurus. It’s easy to overuse the same descriptions for emotions, especially when you find a way that feels really clear. When you’re in the zone, you don’t necessarily notice these occurrences, but you do when you start editing. At least I do!
This thesaurus gives great alternatives for showing emotions that aren’t overused or obvious. It helps to keep your writing fresh and keep your readers on the edge of their seats.
My challenge to you is to try out one of the writing thesauruses.
Do you use a thesaurus when writing? Have you used any of the writing thesauruses before? What’s your favorite writing tool? I’d love to hear about your experiences and recommendations! Find me on social media or drop a comment below.
Let’s chat because you, my friend, are on your way to great writing.
6 Steps for Growing Your Business Using LinkedIn
I’ll be the first one to say: I’m not super into social media...but social media can be fabulous for business both for networking and finding clients. My *favorite* social media, if you can even call it that, is LinkedIn. More than 75% of our clients come from LinkedIn! So when I say it’s helpful, I mean you can make connections AND money, which is kind of the ideal for business, right?
I’ll be the first one to say: I’m not super into social media.
I definitely like seeing friends and family updates, and I like being able to share things with more than one person at a time (particularly with photos), but most times I find social media overwhelming...even for business.
And look - there are a lot of ways to have a successful business, I’m sure without social media. But using the tools almost everyone is using online is, well, kind of important. Even though I sometimes find myself anxiety-ridden after spending too much time scrolling, social media can be fabulous for business both for networking and finding clients.
My *favorite* social media, if you can even call it that - in fact, let’s just say the least overwhelming social media (and one I don’t click on ads to buy random junk that’s adorable but I definitely don’t need) - is LinkedIn.
You might be surprised that more than 75% of Capturing Your Confidence clients come from LinkedIn! So when I say it’s helpful, I mean you can make connections AND money, which is kind of the ideal for business, right?
What is LinkedIn & How Does it Work?
LinkedIn is a social media platform meant for business and professional networking. Similar to Facebook, the posts are text-driven, although there are also interactive ways to connect with your audience, like polls.
As a user, you create a profile and posts. In your Home feed, you can see posts from people you follow and posts the people you’re connected to have interacted with. For instance, if you connect with a co-worker or friend, you can see posts they’ve liked, shared, or commented on even if you aren’t connected to the original poster. It’s a great way to meet new people and see posts from companies and professionals you admire.
The primary difference between LinkedIn and other social networking sites is the professional aspect. People typically use LinkedIn to:
Find jobs
Hire and/or recruit for their company
Grow their professional network
Meet people doing what they want to do
Contribute their expertiseLearn from others
The atmosphere is different from Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and TikTok (and any others I may have missed). People are generally positive, share employment and education milestones, and ask for help to get jobs or clients or whatever professional advice they need. There are personal stories, but on the whole, they’re framed within the work and business environment - not for drama’s sake.
Why LinkedIn Works for Business
LinkedIn is a good place to grow professionally, but it’s also a pretty nifty business tool! For business owners, consultants, and freelancers, LinkedIn can help you find clients and grow your business without some of the busywork it takes on other forms of social media.
For starters, LinkedIn is more professional. There will always be people who want to interact with their professional network in unprofessional ways, but in general, people on LinkedIn are there to do business.
They expect to connect with people, potentially do some job recruiting, and learn about business topics like marketing and copywriting from their network. The goals and audience expectations are different from Facebook, even for businesses using Facebook for business.
Knowing the intention is to connect with people for business purposes, it feels less weird to connect with people you don’t know - especially when they’re doing something really cool you might also like to do. For instance, I love connecting with other writers and creative business owners because they offer a lot of interesting and creative ideas!
LinkedIn is a great place to learn what’s possible because there are others doing almost anything you can imagine. And, as long as you’re not connecting to someone and immediately selling to them in their DMs (don’t do this on ANY platform - it’s irritating!), people are usually happy to connect, which means it’s pretty simple to grow your network.
Probably the best thing about LinkedIn for business is that you can get your name and business in front of A LOT of people fairly easily because of how the connection network works. You have people you know and are “connected with” - like Facebook or Instagram “friends.” Easy peasy. Search for them, connect with them, and once they accept, they’re in your network!
The cool thing is that the more people you connect with, the more posts you see from outside of these connections. How it works is that your connection, say your work best friend, likes a post from someone she follows and/or is networked with. Because of your connection with your friend, you can see the posts she likes (or comments on). Because you can see the posts, you can interact with them as well, even if you’re not connected with the original poster.
This is a fantastic way to meet smart people you want to connect with! You get a preview of their content, and when you interact with it, they can also come and see your profile and content, depending on how you set up your privacy settings. It’s a low stakes, organic way to grow your network of professional contacts - with the added bonus that there’s not usually an expectation of “follow for follow” like there is on other sites, especially Facebook groups.
People on LinkedIn will connect with you and you can connect with them, but it’s not one of those things where you’ll see a ton of posts about “let’s all follow each other!”
6 Steps for Growing Your Business with LinkedIn
If you’re sold on LinkedIn (heck yeah!) as a less stressful way to grow your business, especially for you creatives, I’ve got good news for you: It’s not hard.
In fact, there’s really only 6 steps you need to take to start growing your LinkedIn presence (and therefore your business):
Make sure your profile is filled out all the way. Take the time to write a good headline, add a nice photo of yourself (NOT the bathroom selfie you took yesterday), and write an engaging bio. Remember, if you’re using LinkedIn for your business, you need to be clear about what it is you do and what you’re good at.
Make sure your work history is up to date. Fill in your recent job history to the best of your ability and showcase the skills you want people to know about. You don’t need to include every job you’ve ever had, or old jobs that aren’t relevant to what you’re doing or want to be doing. For instance, jobs you had in high school probably aren’t doing you any professional favors.
Make sure you have a business page for your business. This is important, although can be easily forgotten! Create a business page for your business and then in your Work History section, make sure that your “job” is tied to the business page. This will help you gain credibility - and show your future network and clients exactly what you offer.
Participate & comment thoughtfully. Think about what would happen if you walked into an interview and just sat there and said nothing. Or showed up at a work event and stood in the corner on your phone the whole time instead of interacting with others. It’s kind of a waste of time, right? That’s because you need to interact with people for networking to work. On LinkedIn that means commenting thoughtful and participating with your network. Get into real discussions and engage with people! Spend some time thinking about what your connections are posting - you never know who you might meet, or what clients might come of these kinds of interactions. (You’d be surprised by how often this actually happens!)
Post meaningful stuff & testimonials. When you make posts on LinkedIn, consider what’s relevant to your business and what people might want to know about your areas of expertise. For instance, tips and strategies for things that you’re really good at that other people aren’t. And when you do get awesome clients, share what they’re saying about you! There’s nothing more effective for drumming up business than a solid review or testimonial from someone who worked with you.
Tag people, even if you don’t really “know” them. When you start tagging people in your network, it can feel awkward. It can sometimes feel like “I don’t really know them, so will they really care?” Tagging people is a great way to interact with your network and meet new people, though. And honestly? If you’re tagging someone in a post that’s relevant to what they do, they’re likely to respond in some way or another. It’s a thoughtful interaction - not that you want to be picking 5 random people who won’t get value from what you’re saying - and often leads to good conversations.
My challenge to you is to get on LinkedIn (if you’re not already) & start using it for your business!
Are you on LinkedIn? How have you used LinkedIn for business? (If you want to connect, find me here). I’d love to hear about your experiences! Find me on social media or drop a comment below.
Let’s chat because you, my friend, are on your way to great writing - and business.
So You Want to Write a Book? Author Corey Rosen Has Some Advice (& Inspiration)
If you want to write a book, or you’ve been on the fence, Corey Rosen has just the advice to get you writing - and enjoying it!
Our September author is Corey Rosen
Corey Rosen is an Emmy-award winning writer, actor, and storytelling teacher. He has hosted 105 live events for The Moth, The Moth StorySlam, and GrandSlams.
Rosen has been featured on The Moth Radio Hour, Backfence PDX and “The Finch Files” and “The B-Sider” podcasts. He is an on-air personality for Alice Radio’s “The Sarah and Vinnie Show,” the #1-rated commercial morning show in the San Francisco area.
A performer at BATS Improv, he is also a head writer at Tippett Studio. When not writing or performing, Corey works as a visual effects artist and executive producer. He is credited in movies including “Mission: Impossible,” several “Star Wars” films, and “Disney’s A Christmas Carol.” He has taught at NYU and Academy of Art University, written for Comedy Central, Jim Henson Productions, and Lucasfilm, and directed television commercials and Emmy award-winning short films.
If you’d like to purchase a copy of Corey’s book Your Story, Well Told, you can find it here.
Tell us a little about your writing journey. Have you always wanted to be a writer?
My first writing was for the screen. I made short films and developed and wrote screenplays for Lucasfilm and other animation studios. It wasn't until recently that I found I had a book “in me.” Once I had that spark, it took off and the process was delightful.
Was there a certain point you remember where you felt empowered to call yourself a writer? Or have you always felt like you were a writer?
I think a lot of people call themselves “a writer” that don’t do much or any writing. I think those people are not writers. They are waiters! I was a waiter for a long time. It feels good to be a writer, now. I highly suggest it!
Your book, Your Story, Well Told, is a guide for storytelling, and you draw a lot on improvisational theatre. What inspired you to take your theatre talents and turn it into a book about stories?
I’m fascinated by the intersection of these two “forms” - Storytelling (especially non-fiction spoken word storytelling) and Improvisation (creating something from nothing). Improvisation is the craft of using what’s right in front of us. Wanting what you have, rather than having what you want. The book emerged from this, as it’s how I craft stories (for myself and others). Using what’s right in front of me, and building on that.
A common blunder many storytellers face is their own rigid adherence to the words they are using - memorizing it like it’s a monologue. When you are improvising, there is no script so you can freely express yourself however it emerges. With storytelling, you can harness that energy and relate your story while staying present in the space where you are telling it.
My book is a guide for everyone who has a story to tell to harness this kind of energy to bring their stories to life in an authentic and relatable way - never feeling stilted or over-scripted.
The book has some excellent (& relatable!) stories from your own life. How did you choose which examples to use to highlight the story concepts throughout the book?
Thank you! When I started writing the book, I had just been punched in the face by another kid’s mom while dropping my child off at elementary school. Since I was embarking on writing a book about storytelling, it made sense to me to start the book with a story - and that one was so raw and real in my life at the time that it emerged.
Other stories in the book (my own and those of my friends, students, and colleagues) were chosen to help illustrate the concepts and principles I explore throughout the book. Among them are some REALLY GREAT stories and also some that (as I discuss throughout) are “broken birds” in need of repair.
I find it really interesting to analyze flawed stories using my own “yes, and” critique methods - looking at what IS working in the story and building on that to make the story stronger.
I love that there are so many fun and interesting exercises! Where did the exercises come from (did you create them, borrow them, adapt them, etc.) & do you have a favorite?
I’m a performer and trainer. I believe in active learning, learning by doing. It’s one thing to read a tip or how-to in a book (or in a lecture) but it’s another to do the thing - to try something (out loud or on paper) to synthesize the learning. By using play, we remove the cognitive barriers or pressures to “do it right.”
So a game like “That reminds me of the time” (in my book) makes a game out of recalling memories - which in turn can become source material for stories that the reader might not have considered before! Many storytellers feel like they have to tell “the big” stories. The games and exercises throughout the book are designed to find the small moments and to help us shape them into stories worth telling.
I did invent several of the exercises. Others come from the world of Applied Improvisation, which has a great and very active community of trainers and practitioners who freely share our games with each other.
Describe your writing and/or creative process.
I start with an outline or syllabus. I outline what I want (generally) to talk about or happen in a given chapter (or scene, for creative writing). When doing the writing itself, I try to get it out fast and without correction or editing. A Vomit Draft (something I discuss in the book as well) - where the quality is less important than the experience of telling (or writing) it down.
As a performer, I also like to try things out loud. When I started writing, I was overwhelmed by the blank page or blinking cursor. But if I am speaking my story out loud, it comes out (for me) more naturally and without these barriers. Sometimes I will record myself or tell my story to someone that is close to me (a family member or friend).
When I feel more confident in the story and want to try it on someone else I’ll take a risk and tell it to a stranger. One of my favorite “test audiences” is the drivers of Lyft or Uber! I’ll ask them, “can I tell you a story?” Nobody has ever said no!
You have quite a diverse set of writing and storytelling experiences! Is there one type of activity that you find the most fun? The most challenging?
I get to host “The Moth,” which is a storytelling podcast and radio show. We have live shows in a variety of cities. I love these forums because they draw out people of all kinds, every demographic, gender-identity, ethnicity, you name it.
In a single night’s show, you might have a college student, an 80-year-old hippy, and a formerly incarcerated individual all sharing a stage, telling their own stories. The whole room feels connected and alive by the end of the show.
What was your biggest writing obstacle and how did you overcome it?
I feel like repetition and routine is the best antidote to writers “block.” It’s easy to not do something, even something you want to do, if you don’t make time for it. This could apply to exercise, your diet, or any other ambition.
By setting aside time to write, I wrote. And the more I wrote, the more I wrote. It stops being a job or a chore. It’s waiting to come out. You just have to let it.
What is the part of your published work or writing process you’re most proud of?
When I submitted the final edited version of the manuscript, and got a case of books in the mail, I was ecstatic. It never really felt real until that moment. Then I told EVERYONE I know about it, in every way I could. And people started buying the book and sharing pictures of themselves with my book! It’s a wonderful feeling to have completed this project and I love hearing the stories that people are telling after reading it!
Do you have any plans for another book or writing project in the near future? If so, could you tell us about it?
Yes! I am midway through a follow up book right now. It’s the next phase of the same subject that “Your Story, Well Told” covers. This one uses specific examples of stories that people have to tell in their lives, like eulogies, acceptance speeches, and roasts, with guidance (and examples) of how to tell them, well!
What motivates you to keep writing?
It’s a routine and a pleasure to write. On days I don’t write, I get mad at myself. Every time I write, I feel good. So that feeling keeps me writing!
What is the biggest piece of advice you would give to aspiring writers?
You are FULL of stories. If you don’t know what to write about, read the first chapter of my book. It will give you tools to inspire you and start you on your way!
Purchase a copy of Corey’s book, Your Story, Well Told here.
Overcome Your Writing Fears with These 9 Simple Strategies
Beginning, or even continuing, a writing project can be a daunting task. There are many factors to consider before you dive in - and many fears that may arise. Today we wanted to share some fears that we see often, and how to overcome them so you can keep working on your next masterpiece!
Beginning, or even continuing, a writing project can be a daunting task. There are many factors to consider before you dive in - and many fears that may arise.
Today we wanted to share some fears that we see often, and how to overcome them so you can keep working on your next masterpiece!
All the Writing Fears (or at Least a Lot of Them)
Picture this: you’ve got a brilliant idea (or at least an idea) and you’re ready to write. BUT, and this is a big one, you haven’t really planned anything out. You may not even know much about the characters or the world, but dang it! You want to write the thing. Worrying about fully developing an idea can hold you back, especially if/when you feel like if you don’t plan more it may not be any good.
The good news is that as long as you have an idea, you can start writing. Maybe you just have a couple of characters who keep coming to mind, or you’re picturing one certain scene. If that’s what you’ve got, go for it! Focus on writing and developing those bits first - then you can work on planning and writing more when you have a better feel for where you see the story going.
Amidst your thoughts about developing your idea enough, you may worry if people will even “get it.” What if they don’t understand? What if you can’t find the right words to express the image in your mind? Unfortunately, you can’t control what other people understand of your work. You can do your best to make sure your writing is as clear and precise as possible, and get feedback as you go along, but that’s about it. There’s no way to connect with everyone, and that’s okay! You don’t need to.
Along these same lines, writers often fear that people won’t “buy in” or be interested in what you have to say. For non-fiction writers, it may be about not being persuasive enough. For fiction writers, it may be about readers not relating enough to your characters and story. Either way, the only thing you need to worry about is reaching your ideal audience - the readers you know will love your book.
Audience is a funny thing: it can both thrill and terrify you, especially when it comes to your writing! Many writers, especially new writers, are especially worried about not having a big enough following or a wide enough audience. It’s a lot of work to build a social media following, and an audience of loyal readers. And actually, having an audience is a big part of being successful as a writer because that’s the way you reach “your” people! The key is that it takes time - the more effort you put in interacting with people and sharing your ideas, the easier (and more natural) it will feel to grow your following.
Probably the most common, and sometimes the most debilitating, fear is being compared to others. While it’s not always a bad thing to be compared to other writers (hello, who doesn’t want to be compared to someone great?!), it doesn’t feel good when the comments are about you not being as “good” as other writers. This is especially true if you’ve been inspired by someone you love and are trying to write something similar.
Then the worry becomes a fear that your idea isn’t original. While we hate to be the bearer of bad news, you probably aren’t going to have a ground-breaking, never-been-done-before idea. It’s natural to get ideas from what you read and see in the world! You just need to make sure that whatever you’re working on doesn’t copy anyone directly (that’s plagiarism). Sometimes we take ideas from what we’ve read and it morphs into our own unique thing, and that’s great - just make sure you’re not copying from someone else directly. Put your spin on it. After all, that’s what will excite people!
9 Ways to Overcome Writing Fear
While there may be quite a few fears, there are some pretty simple and effective ways to fight back.
Figure out the ultimate outcome. If you figure out what you want to happen in the big picture, it will help dispel the fear that your idea won’t be developed enough.
Think about yourself. What do you enjoy reading and writing about? What are your favorite genres, tropes, archetypes, etc.? What are you writing: a novel, poem, short story, something else? All of this info factors into how your idea will play out. If you know where your story is headed, it’s easier to see the bigger picture and work your way towards that outcome.
Take the free 10 Day Organize Your Book course. During these 10 days, you’ll plot your book (or whip your Work in Progress back into shape), organize your ideas, technology, and space and just feel good about your writing.
Imagine your ideal audience. Who are you writing for? Consider age groups, genre types, niche groups, or whomever you think would enjoy your writing the most. Once you have an ideal audience, you can write with them in mind. If you’re stuck on audience (it happens to all of us sometimes!), read this, it will help.
Find other authors in the same genre on social media and follow them. It helps to know that you’re not alone no matter what type of writing you do. There’s an audience for all topics, you just need to make sure you’re a part of that community so when you share your work, it’ll be found by people who’ll be excited to read it.
Set a timer for your writing sessions. Also called writing sprints, having a timer can be helpful to push past fear of writer's block. Read the older part of your writing first if you’ve already started, then set a timer and focus on a tiny section. Give yourself the freedom to be as sloppy as you want (& DO NOT edit as you’re writing). If, in the end, it doesn’t make the cut, at least you’ll make progress and get next part in your writing.
Get the failure workbook. It’s called “How to Stop Feeling Like a Failure in 5 Simple Steps” - we clearly like keeping things simple around here! The workbook walks you through widespread myths about writing (that are totally not true), the mindset you’ll need to be successful, and exercises about how to get there. Super helpful. You’ll be writing with confidence in no time!
Practice. Write as much as you can and as often as you can. This will help you improve your writing and help to dispel the fear of not being good enough.
Don’t show anyone, at least at first. One of our favorite strategies is to keep your writing to yourself until you decide it’s ready enough to share. A first draft is never perfect, and will need a lot of edits before it’s ready for readers. You don’t want your unfinished, unpolished work being compared to other writer’s final drafts, it's not fair to yourself or your writing! While we always encourage feedback, don’t feel pressured to show your writing to anyone while it’s still brand new, even if they mean well.
My challenge to you is to push past your fears and write!
What fears have been holding you back? Do you have an idea that you need help developing? Have you had success overcoming similar fears? I’d love to hear about your experiences! Find me on social media or drop a comment below
Let’s chat because you, my friend, are on your way to great writing.
