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The Most Important Thing You Need to Know About Coaching Sessions
The other day I was nervously awaiting a meeting with a new client and I was trying to figure out why I was so nervous...I was nervous about what I didn’t know...I thought to myself that new coaching clients probably feel a lot like this, too...so if I demystified what a coaching session looks like, or at least what’s involved, it might allay some fears and get you excited instead of nervous...
The other day I was nervously awaiting a meeting with a new client and I was trying to figure out why I was so nervous. I mean, it wasn’t my meeting - I wasn’t going to be running it at least, and the whole purpose of my being there was to get information so I could work on a new project. Exciting!
After the meeting was over, I wasn’t nervous anymore. So, clearly, the nerves were about the meeting. I went on about my day, tooling around the house doing the dishes, working on some other writing projects - a pretty average day.
As I stood washing the pots and pans (one of the most common places for big realizations in my world), I managed to figure out what was going on. I was nervous about what I didn’t know. It wasn’t the work, or the scope of the project, or even meeting new people (although 8 people in a Zoom meeting with a new client is kind of a lot, even for me). It was the fact that I didn’t know what would happen or what was expected of me.
As I was standing there, I thought to myself that new coaching clients probably feel a lot like this, too. After all, you’re making an investment in yourself & your dreams, which is already kind of nerve-wracking, especially if it’s your first time.
I know I get nervous the first time talking to a new coach! Even when I love the work they do and they’re obviously a great fit for what I need. So I thought maybe if I demystified what a coaching session looks like, or at least what’s involved, it might allay some fears and get you excited instead of nervous - because the excited part of you is the one who should be making the decision, and the one who’s ready to get your book written!
The Gist
What we do in coaching is have conversations. Before we dive into strategy and working together on your writing, we first set goals. These goals are what help me create the best & most helpful sessions for YOU, because you’re what it’s all about.
Knowing that everything is centered around your personalized goals, there are several things we’ll talk about each time we meet. They vary in proportions depending on the day and what you need or ask to focus on.
We’ll talk about your project & your writing. I’ll ask how it’s going, what progress you’ve made, what questions you have - all the stuff that’s going on with you right now (even if you didn’t quite live up to your own high expectations - don’t worry, we’ve all been there). This sets a conversational tone for the session, which is how it works best so our time together stays relaxed and productive.
We’ll talk about where you’re stuck or what your blocks are. We all get stuck sometimes. It’s a when, not an if. Part of what makes this frustrating is that many times the reason is different each time! It’s not always easy to figure out why you were feeling extra creative on Thursday and completely blocked on Friday.
So we’ll talk about it - maybe it’s about what’s going on in your life or your business. Maybe it’s the part of the novel or book you’re working on. Maybe it’s that you’re kind of freaked out because you had a super powerful thought you’ve never had before (which is awesome, by the way). Whatever it is, we’ll find it.
We’ll talk about ways to get unstuck. I’m here to help you bust through your blocks like a writing ninja. Well, I’m really more like Bob Ross: paint your way out of your writing blocks with a happy little cloud (because let’s be honest, I’m definitely not a ninja).
Either way, once we figure out where you’re stuck, we’ll talk about ways to work through it. I’ll recommend some strategies for you to try between sessions - some of them (like having a conversation with the main character in your novel) might seem funky, but they work.
We’ll talk about your goals. Goal-setting and progress, no matter how small, is always top of mind. We’ll check in and see how your goals feel and your progress toward them. We don’t want goals that don’t feel good or don’t feel aligned with what you want to do.
If we need to adjust goals, we will. If you’re still feeling good about them (woohoo!), we’ll talk about the next steps you can take to achieve them - always keeping things doable, of course.
I’ll give you tasks to work on between sessions. Some people call this “homework.” As a teacher, I can tell you from experience that giving homework to an adult, especially a professional, doesn’t always sit well. After all, coaching isn’t school. I'm not your teacher, and I’m not there to grade you on how thoroughly you completed an assignment. During coaching, I’ll guide & mentor you (hopefully inspiring you to keep going!), but it’s collaborative, not a teacher/student relationship.
Everything we do is designed to help you based on your goals and what you’ve shared with me. I do give tasks between sessions to remind you of what you’re working toward when we’re not together, and to help you make progress. If you decide not to do them, that’s your choice; but, I think you’ll be intrigued enough to try them out (and you’ll be amazed when the weird stuff works).
The Most Important Thing
No matter what we do, or where the conversation leads, the 3 most important things that will happen in each session are that:
You’ll feel good about your project.
You’ll have action steps to take to move forward.
You’ll be more confident than when we started (even if it’s just a little).
Strategy does matter. Logistics and goals and all the things that you do to write your book - fiction or non - are important. But I’ll let you in on a little secret: you can already do those things. Sure, they might be a little less targeted or take longer. But you don’t need me to write your book - your brilliant ideas and your words will do that for you.
What you do need is to feel confident about being able to write that book. You need to believe in yourself enough to start even when you’re hesitant (or full out terrified) and work through it when you’re stuck. You need the best you to write your book, and that’s what I’m here to help show you.
Yes, I give you strategies because there are plenty of things you learn as a professional writer & writing teacher that might not occur to you to try if you're working in a different industry. But the best thing I can do for you is encourage you and show you how awesome you are so you can continue on your way. THAT’S what coaching sessions are really all about.
My challenge to you is book a session and see the amazing things we can do in just one hour.
Have you done a writing coaching session? How did it go? What would make you ecstatic to book a session TODAY? I’d love to hear about your experiences! Find me on social media or drop a comment below.
Let’s chat because you, my friend, are on your way to great writing.
Stop Avoiding TikTok, Your Book Will Thank You Later.
Is TikTok helpful for writers? The short answer is: yes. Read about the ways TikTok can help writers of all levels - including why BookTok is a great place to be with your writing!
First of all, what is TikTok?
TikTok is an app that came out in 2017, but has become wildly popular during the pandemic. It started mainly with musical creators and transformed into an app for all different types of creators - from crafters, to comedians, to authors, and more.
TikTok is ever-changing and the content is always growing. Users make fifteen second to about one minute videos based on the genre of whatever they’re interested in. It could be a video about how to cook a certain meal, someone lip syncing a song, or if you’re like me, a video talking about books and writing!
Then, just like any other social media site, people can view your content and like, comment, or share it.
Is it helpful for writers?
The short answer is: yes!
It can be helpful in many ways, but there are a few specific ways it’s helped me so far:
When I have a question for other authors. Sometimes when I’m in the midst of writing or editing, I have a question regarding my book or just writing in general. I can post a video asking this question of other authors or readers and they can respond by commenting to my video.
I like to use it for questions about other people’s preferences when it comes to writing or reading. This helps me figure out what people are looking for in a book so I can better cater to my audience.
Networking with other authors. Along with being able to ask other authors questions, I can follow them, too. We can get to know each other, support one another, or just reach out once in a while and say hi! It’s super helpful to be able to connect with other people who are in the same boat when you’re in a profession that requires a lot of alone time.
Many authors I’ve met are also self-published, but some are traditionally published. It’s great to be able to see both sides of the story and learn more about their individual journeys to publishing. It’s also nice to have people you can turn to when you need a sounding board. Most of the authors I’ve met on TikTok have been super helpful and friendly.
Market your books/writing. Once you’ve figured out your way around TikTok, you can start making videos to promote your writing! It’s a lot of fun. There are a couple of solid ways to go about it. One way is to just talk about your writing and show your books. Many authors have a generous following because of how they talk about their writing.
You can also use someone else’s sound to show your own work. A sound can be a song, or someone saying things like “if you’re an author, show me your favorite book you wrote, now show me the first book you wrote…” etc. Using sounds is easy to figure out once you are on TikTok.
No matter how you choose to show off your work, people will see it and (hopefully) interact with it. The goal is to build more awareness of your work so you can convert your followers into readers!
What about the readers?
TikTok is a great place to find and interact with people who could become readers for your writing. By making videos that showcase your writing and lay out what genre(s) you write, you can find readers who will enjoy your books.
For example, mentioning in a video that you write romance mixed with suspense lets readers know if they’ll be interested in reading your book. It’s a whole new way to draw in a new audience of readers and communicate with the people you’re writing for.
The readers’ side of TikTok is called “Booktok.” To find it, you can search for the hashtag #booktok in the discover section. Videos related to books will pop up! It’s such a fun place to learn more about what topics are trending and what genres are popular. Booktok can even bring older books back to popularity and kick off writing careers! There’s a lot of excitement and positive energy surrounding Booktok.
TikTok can be a lot of fun. There will always be some people who try to bring down the mood, but if you don’t interact with them, they’ll disappear from your feed. Interacting with videos is how you let TikTok know what you want to see.
So if you interact with fun, positive videos, that’s pretty much all you’ll see. The most important thing to remember is to be kind and have fun! Don’t stress over making content or watching all the videos. Just do your best and meet some great new people.
My challenge to you is to check out TikTok - specifically search for the hashtags #authortok and #booktok.
Do you use TikTok? Have you used it for networking or marketing your book? What other social media do you use to promote your work? I’d love to hear about your experiences and recommendations! Find me on social media or drop a comment below.
Let’s chat because you, my friend, are on your way to great writing.
Why a Little Fear Isn’t Just Normal, It’s Good
No matter how long you’ve been doing something, or how far up you get in the professional food chain, there will always be an element of fear. But who says that’s a bad thing?
My mouse hovered over the “Send” button.
Palms sweating, heart racing, I knew I had to send the email, but fear (& imposter syndrome) invaded my mind.
After a deep breath, I closed my eyes, clicked, and it was done.
The draft was sent.
For better or worse, my client had the article, and it was out of my hands as to how they would react.
Have you ever had a moment of fear like this in your professional life?
One where you’ve worked your ass off, but aren’t quite sure what the receiver will think? Or maybe one where you made a bold move without asking first and wondered if the risk would pay off, hoping whoever you’re doing the work for loves your moxie?
As a writer, I have these experiences frequently.
It’s certainly not every project, and the more and varied kinds of projects I do, the farther apart they are. But, fear is a part of creative life, and as far as I can tell, there’s no way around it.
It feels almost like being the new kid in school, hoping the other kids will see how awesome you are before they realize you’re too tall, you’ve got braces, and your sense of humor is still too grown up for you.
Or walking into a brand new office full of people knowing they’ve all been working together for the last decade and you’re the first new person in years. Yikes.
We talk about being professional in a way that implies that once we’re the “expert” we’ll never be scared again. Or once we’ve done what we do best for a long time, we’ll just magically become fearless - hence the term “fearless leader,” right?
That’s patently false.
No matter how long you’ve been doing something, or how far up you get in the professional food chain, there will always be an element of fear. But who says that’s a bad thing?
I guess a good majority of the world does often say that fear is a weakness - that’s how we’re taught to think. Being fearless and overcoming fear are seen as praiseworthy accomplishments, and in a sense they are. No one should have to live their entire lives paralyzed by fear.
But fear doesn’t always have to be the bad guy! I mean, it’s always there anyway (even if you’re good at compartmentalizing it to the back of your mind), so you might as well accept it and figure out why it’s there - and what the heck it’s going to do, right?
Fear will always be part of our professional lives. Here’s why:
No matter how much you accomplish, there will always be things you don’t know and/or haven’t done.
Plain and simple, you can’t know everything (and you don’t need to). You can be as expert as expert can be and still not know as much as someone else about a topic outside of your area.
You can study and know something back and forth and still accidentally leave a hole in your knowledge. Those holes, no matter how small, will probably leave you feeling inept because you “should have known” whatever it is you missed.
No one wants to leave that vulnerability open in the professional world - the not knowing everything bit - because they feel like it makes them seem less of an expert. Less trustworthy. Less professional.
It doesn’t, though. It makes you human!
We’re not robots or computers. We’re people! And people sometimes miss or forget things, which is okay.
What it really comes down to is a fear of not being respected or accepted. You bring a unique wealth of experience and knowledge to the table, and that’s enough.
Your fear is trying to protect you from embarrassment or judgement, which is a nice thought, in theory. That being said, fear doesn’t have to, and shouldn’t, run your professional life.
There have been and will continue to be people telling you that you’re not good enough or don’t “meet the mark.”
I know you’ve had an experience at work or in school where someone told you that your best wasn’t good enough. Even if it was supposed to be “nice” or “polite” or labeled as “constructive criticism” (that was actually just regular criticism in disguise).
We’ve ALL been there, and it sucks. No sugar, spice, or something nice about it. Being rejected hurts, especially when you’ve poured yourself into the project. The unfortunate thing about it is that it will keep happening.
So our fear kicks in and warns us “Watch out! You love this thing, better be careful who you share it with.” Totally legit. You should be careful who you send your heartfelt work to.
BUT, you won’t always be rejected! In fact, as you learn and grow, experience will show you how to improve so you get rejected less. You become better at tasks you struggle with and learn to adapt when you do get rejected so it hurts a little less than the last time.
In the business world, a lot of rejection isn’t personal, even when it feels that way (and believe me, it really really does sometimes). Your project may be one of a hundred the person looks at and has to pick one. That doesn’t mean your project is bad! It just means that someone else fits their needs better this time.
Growing is pretty much always scary because you have to get uncomfortable.
I’m gonna be honest: I’m a creature of comfort. I think most of us are. We like knowing what we know & we feel really good when we can help others with what we know. That’s pretty much the basis of business, with some money tossed into the mix.
But if we want to be our best selves and grow professionally, we have to commit to it. We have to want to grow, and if you’ve ever been the person learning a new skill (likely), you’ll know that it can be really uncomfortable.
You know the kind of discomfort I mean - feeling like you don’t know anything, so how could you possibly do the thing? Even crazier if you don’t know how to do the thing (or you’re terrible at it) and you want to start a business with it. Laughable!
Or so we tell ourselves. But is it actually crazy to think we could learn a new skill and implement it? Is it actually so unbelievable that a smart person could leverage their strengths and create a career based on what they love instead of doing something mind-numbingly boring that they know backwards and forwards for the next 40 years?
I don’t think so, and I don’t think you do either. But your fear probably does.
Mine definitely did! Who am I to run a business? And enjoy it? And be good at it? WTF?
But, you know what? I did it anyway (because I’m stubborn as hell - much more so than my fear). And I am good at it. And it is awesome. The fear is still there, and you know what? I like it. It keeps me honest because truly, there is a lot I don’t know.
I don’t pretend to know it all about business - the basics, sure, but that’s what other experts are for, to help me learn! That’s not why people work with me either. They work with me because I’m exceptional at stories and storytelling and working with words in a way that most people can’t (or won’t learn how to do).
So when I hesitate for a moment before sending an article (not terribly uncommon), my fear hovers for a moment, I acknowledge it’s there, and then I click send and go on about my day. Because my best is enough, and it’s good - yours is, too.
The feedback I got on the sweaty palm, heart racing article? “This is the best work you've done so far. You're like a fine wine... just getting better with time. Awesome work!”
I get emails like this probably 95% (or more) of the time I’m nervous about client work. The fear? Almost entirely unfounded - but it’s part of putting so much of yourself into the work you do. Even when it’s there, I never let it stop me.
If you’ve had, or are still having, fears in your professional life, take a breath, acknowledge them, and move forward. Whether that’s clicking send on an important email, asking for a raise, suggesting an organizational change, or even finding a new career - one you love - go for it.
You can do it. You’ll be scared, but that’s okay, be bold and do it anyway.
Let Them Speak: Author Harriet Marsden Discusses Women, Power, & What’s Holding You Back
"I want the women of history to finally have their say." Journalist & author Harriet Marsden discusses her book, women's voices, and gives empowering advice for anyone wanting to write a book.
Our June author is Harriet Marsden.
Harriet Marsden is a freelance journalist and editor. Previously a subeditor at The Times, she now works for a variety of publications, including The Independent, HuffPost, the Guardian, and Foreign Policy. Harriet can often be heard on the radio at stupid o’clock, reviewing the news and mocking politicians. She is also a feminist commentator and contributing author to DK’s The Feminism Book.
Hobbies include reading, swimming, and Broadway musicals (she can do all the raps from Hamilton). Harriet has a bachelor’s in languages from the University of Cambridge and a master’s in international journalism from City University, London. She lives in South London with a cat, two birds, and innumerable plants.
Harriet can be found tweeting at @harriet1marsden
Want to buy Harriet’s book, Don’t Lose Your Head? Get it here.
Tell us a little about your writing journey.
Ever since I can remember, I’ve loved to read and write. More than anything else, I love books and words and people’s stories on a page. It’s the physical embodiment of humanity. Of course, when I got a little older and realized that it paid like sh*t, I became a journalist instead. Which didn’t pay any better, in fairness, but at least it gave me an excuse to be a nosy drunken gossip.
I’ve personally always been fascinated by King Henry VIII & all his wives! But I’d never heard of a telling from the women’s perspective (I had to Google Six). How did you decide to write a book from the ladies’ perspective – was it inspired purely by the musical? Or was there other inspiration as well?
I owe a massive amount to bestselling British historical fiction writer, Philippa Gregory. I read The Other Boleyn Girl when it came out about 20 years ago and it completely opened my eyes to a whole new Tudor perspective. I’ve been hooked on the wives of Henry VIII and their stories ever since and read all her books multiple times. Add a show stopping musical like Six to 20 years of committed feminism and there you have it! I want the women of history to finally have their say. The men had the stage for long enough.
I want the women of history to finally have their say.
Each of the women has a distinct voice in the book. How did you develop those voices?
It’s partly linguistic – Catherine of Aragon was a Spanish native speaker who originally spoke to her husband in French and Latin, a child of Holy War, while Anne Boleyn was determined to be flirtatiously French and modern. Anna of Cleves barely spoke a word of English when she was brought to Henry, and Katherine Howard was an almost illiterate young girl with limited vocabulary.
Catherine Parr was a proud Northern woman who used lots of wonderful little phrases from her upbringing, alongside the high religious imagery of a deeply spiritual scholar. Jane Seymour was harder to pin down, as so little was written about her while she was alive and so much was informed by her deification after she died. And how much of her reportedly meek, placid speech was a deliberate attempt to counteract Anne’s Gallic temper?
But a lot is known about each woman’s style: her fashion choices, her religious inclination, her interests. As I got to know them a bit, I tried to imagine how they’d look at the world, and how they might tell their stories. But ultimately, there’s a lot of guesswork. You do as much research as you can to find the facts, and then you have to use your imagination.
I love the pieces throughout the book that aren’t text: the profiles, the Did You Know sections, and the sassy snippets almost like a text message! What was your process for finding and including those in the book?
I decided early on to give each queen a profile, a bit like a dating app bio, with the basic facts to guide the reader and to contextualise them in the chronology. I thought they’d be the easiest bit to write. I was horribly mistaken on that front. In many cases, historians disagreed on names, dates, even spellings – and there’s so much we’ll never know for sure. So I tried, wherever possible, to base the bullet-points on where there was most consensus. But the profiles were an absolute headache.
I tried to imagine how they’d look at the world, and how they might tell their stories.
The ‘Did You Know’ trivia sections are made up of titbits that I discovered about each woman as I researched their lives and legacies but couldn’t otherwise fit into the stories of their marriages. Those are the bits that I would text my friends about.
The snippets of interruption came later – when I realized that so many of their stories overlapped in real life. I needed to find a way of communicating that while still letting each queen have the mic in turn. Those were fun to write because I could let my inner bitch run riot.
You say in the Forward that Anna of Cleves who’s your “favorite” queen – was she also your favorite section of the book to write?
The opposite, if anything! We know relatively little about her, and what we do know is so twisted by the poisonous briefing against her by Henry’s team. Plus, from what we do know it seemed that she lived her best life out of the spotlight, after Henry. That’s great for her – not so great for historians.
Everything you need to know about Henry, what he was and what he became – and why - you can learn from the transition from Catherine to Anne.
My favourite section to write was Catherine of Aragon’s; that’s where the meat of the story is. Everything you need to know about Henry, what he was and what he became – and why - you can learn from the transition from Catherine to Anne. Remember they were married for the best part of a quarter century – and Catherine was a great ruler and queen in her own right.
Describe your writing and/or creative process.
I read a lot, I think a lot about what I’ve read, I draft sentences and phrases in my head while I’m doing something that physically stops me from writing, like running or swimming or taking a shower. I make notes on my phone while on the Tube.
Then after I’ve procrastinated beyond all possible comprehension, I sit down and bash bits out in long, intense stretches of coffee haze and biscuit crumbs. For the last bit, my best friend moved in with me and made sure I ate and washed. He has requested that I do not write a book again.
As you note, this isn’t a history book, but there is A LOT of history involved! What was the research process like & how did you translate that into so many (funny & witty) voices?
There are several modern historians, for example Lady Antonia Fraser and Alison Weir, who have basically read everything in existence about the Tudors and have written impeccable, meticulous anthologies. I leaned very heavily on those. So, they did all the work. That’s my research tip – identify the best authors and the best texts, and then read those.
That’s my research tip – identify the best authors and the best texts, and then read those.
I also had to read quite a lot of the male historians with a pinch of salt the size of Texas – particularly David Starkey. But ultimately, I just tried to immerse myself in the whole Tudor world – lot of historical fiction, lots of Philippa Gregory, lots of looking at paintings and royal palaces and thinking about stomachers. What did people eat? What did they wear? What were their day-to-day lives actually like? Most importantly, who was shagging who?
What was your biggest writing obstacle and how did you overcome it?
It’s almost… fear of the computer. Like genuinely, the fear of sitting down at my desk or laptop and actually cracking on. Procrastination verging on phobia. I get around that by easing myself into the writing process, with notes and texts and tweets – anything that I can do without opening my laptop.
Also, reading! The more you read, the more your brain wakes up. I also don’t try to impose much structure – if I feel like writing late at night, or first thing in the morning, or on the train, that’s when I do it. Go with your gut. Plus, coffee. I’ve rarely met a writer who wasn’t basically a caffeinated wreck.
What is the part of your published work or writing process you are most proud of?
When my friends and family received their copy of the book and read the acknowledgment section. When I could put down in print, for posterity, how much they mean to me and how much of what I do is entirely down to them. That I wouldn’t write a word without them. That was the best moment.
When my friends and family received their copy of the book and read the acknowledgment section.
I would write ten more books just for that feeling. Also, when I read reviews from people who I’ve never met, sometimes thousands of miles away, who say they enjoyed the book and that it gave them a whole new perspective or interest. Getting messages from readers is a total delight.
Do you have any new writing projects in the works? If so, would you tell us a little about them?
Yes, but you’ll have to wait and see because my editor will go bananas.
What’s the biggest piece of advice you would give to aspiring writers?
This might sound counterintuitive, but you do not have to be a so-called “good writer” – whatever that means – to be a published one. Sometimes all you need is a good story and an open-mind – and a shit-hot editor.
You do not have to be a so-called “good writer” – whatever that means – to be a published one.
Good writing is very subjective, and there are all sorts of different styles and tastes and audiences. Also, writing can be a solitary hellscape, so surround yourself with good people and ask them for help. You don’t have to do it alone.
What would you say to someone who’s thinking about writing a book, but isn’t quite sure if they can?
Anyone can write a book. Absolutely anyone. Even if you’re illiterate, you can dictate one. There is nothing stopping you – except yourself. Think you don’t have time? Write a sentence a day on the commute. Don’t have an idea? Write about something that interested you, or something you dreamt about, or saw in the street.
Don’t think anyone will want to read it? Self-publish – your family will read any old crap if it has your name on it. And every time you think you can’t, just remember the worst book you ever read. That absolutely steaming pile of baloney that should never have been published. If that prick can get an advance, so can you.
Every time you think you can’t, just remember the worst book you ever read. That absolutely steaming pile of baloney that should never have been published. If that prick can get an advance, so can you.
If you would like to purchase Harriet Marsden’s Book, Don’t Lose Your Head , you can find a copy here.
If you know an author (or of an author) you would love to read an interview with, email me at rachel@capturingyourconfidence.com or submit a suggestion through the contact page!
Do These 7 Things and You’ll Be Writing Like a Pro by the End of Summer
With the warmer weather rolling in, sometimes it’s hard to stay focused on your writing. Summer brings more events, outdoor activities, and other fun occasions - especially this year! Through it all, it’s important to find techniques to center yourself and refocus on your writing. Here are 7 secrets to help you stay on task and be writing like a pro by the end of summer.
With the warmer weather rolling in, sometimes it’s hard to stay focused on your writing. Summer brings more events, outdoor activities, and other fun occasions - especially this year!
Through it all, it’s important to find techniques to center yourself and refocus on your writing. We’ve collected some secrets to help you stay on task and be writing like a pro by the end of summer.
Write Like a Pro with These 7 Secrets
Create a separate notebook/Word Doc for each new project.
Before I start writing, I make sure to have a notebook or, if I’m working on my computer, an open document prepared for my current project. Otherwise, everything becomes a jumbled mess and when I need to find something in my notes, it ends up taking way longer than necessary to find.
If you don’t have multiple notebooks, not a problem! Just separate your projects using tabs. Whatever works to keep you organized. It’s all about making your life easier. Writing is enough work as it is, there’s no reason to make the process more complicated.
If you start by keeping your notes, charts, outlines, etc. in one place, you’ll be thanking yourself when you need to go back to those pieces in the middle of a writing session! It’ll help you stay in the flow. If you need help on what to include in a writing notebook, read this!
Create a writing space.
Personally, this can be my bed, desk, or comfy chair. It helps if your writing place is the same every time, because your mind knows you’re going to write.
For example, when I set myself up at my desk, I know I mean business - serious writing is about to happen. If I’m in bed when I’m writing, I’m more likely to take a nap, read a book, or watch TV. None of these options are available to me at my desk.
Need help setting up your ideal writing space? Sign up for our free Organize Your Book course! (By the way, good writing can occur anywhere you have ideas. In the course, we talk about how you can make a writing space just about anywhere, though - from a spare bedroom to a closet, or even a corner of your studio apartment.)
Get comfortable in your writing space.
Making sure you’re physically comfortable while writing is helpful, especially when writing for long stretches.
There’s nothing worse than having to readjust your body every few minutes when trying to keep up with the flow of your thoughts. Or having to stop altogether to go get a pair of socks or something.
Create a comfortable space that will make sure you can settle in for the entire writing session without winding up with a sore neck or back. Comfy pillows and blankets are great, and an outfit that doesn’t distract you.
Ladies especially, you know the ones: the shirts that always ride up, the pants that always slide down or squeeze where you don’t want them to - avoid all of it for your writing sessions!
Find music you can write to/with.
Not everyone can write to music, but if you can, it’s really helpful to keep yourself in the writing zone. I tend to listen to Hans Zimmer radio on Pandora or 2Cellos on Spotify. Both are instrumental stations. Lyrics can sometimes be distracting when I’m trying to focus on coming up with my own words.
On occasion, though, lyrical music helps when you’re trying to set the tone for your writing if you listen to music that matches that tone. For instance, listening to sad music when writing a grieving character, or romantic music when writing more intimate scenes. These specific types of music can get your mind thinking about things in a different way than your average “everyday” mindset.
Whatever music inspires you, queue it up and let it play!
Ditch all distractions.
If you don’t need your phone, put it across the room or out of reach - and stay off social media! If you know you will end up online shopping or laughing at the latest video from your favorite YouTuber, turn off your internet on your computer (or only allow yourself to have one tab for your writing).
I sometimes find myself scrolling through TikTok when I hit a snag in my writing, and an hour later I realize I’ve fallen down the rabbit hole. We want to avoid that!
It’s a small inconvenience that will help deter you from easily accessing those distractions. If your phone is the culprit, you can use an app called Forest to help keep you on track.
Books, TV, or anything in the general vicinity that takes your attention away from writing can also be distracting. Sometimes, they’re unavoidable, especially if you have kids or pets. But, do your best to eliminate the distractions that aren’t a priority to ensure you’re maximizing the time you’re in the writing zone.
Have fun with your writing.
There’s a ton of planning and outlining that goes into writing, that sometimes you need to step away and just have some fun! If you want to write a particular scene but you haven’t reached that point in your book yet, skip ahead. You don’t need to write linearly (straight through the plot like you’d read in a finished book), write what excites you in the moment.
When you write this way - with what excites you - you won’t grow bored. If you’re constantly forcing yourself to write in order of events instead of skipping around to the scenes that you actually want to write at the time, then you may grow to resent your writing.
Don’t hype/freak yourself out. Just put your words on the page and don’t worry about whether they’re good. That’s something you can worry about later, if you find that you don’t like what you wrote.
Editing takes care of the silly mistakes and plot holes you overlooked when writing. Worrying about perfection is what keeps you from writing and actually having fun while you’re doing it.
Start Writing… Now!
Don’t wait for a “better” time. Now is the perfect time to start. No matter how much time, whether a few minutes or a few hours, you can put into your writing: just do it! (Thanks for that, Nike.)
Any progress is progress - steps in the right direction. You change your mind and completely rewrite your story later if you want, but at least you have a foundation.
My challenge to you is to utilize these 7 secrets with your latest writing project.
Is summer a less productive time for you? Have you tried any of these strategies? Do you have anything that gets you in the writing zone? I’d love to hear about your experiences and recommendations! Find me on social media or drop a comment below.
Let’s chat because you, my friend, are on your way to great writing.
How to Choose the Right Coach
Wondering how to choose the right coach when there are so many to choose from? It doesn’t have to be that complicated!
Wondering how to choose the right coach when there are so many to choose from?
It doesn’t have to be that complicated!
Notes on Choosing a Coach
Choosing a coach doesn’t have to be that complicated, but make sure you do your due diligence to know as much as you can about who you’d be working with.
It’s okay to “pick” someone and wait to work with them. Get involved with their content & community! Use it as an opportunity to learn from them before you work with them.
If you get any vibes that something isn’t right, whether that’s from copy, content, video, etc., choose another coach.
If you’re not sure about your first impression, read more about them. Interact with their content, wherever that is (blog, podcast, etc.)
Budget is important (obviously), but it shouldn’t be your only consideration.
More experience doesn’t always mean “better.” You need to be comfortable with their experience, whether than means education, years experience, or a specific kind of knowledge that you don’t have yet. Figure out what you will be comfortable with (whether they’re a few steps ahead of you or already doing your dream job) and remember that as you’re reading their copy.
4 Simple Steps to Choosing the Right Coach
Before you look for a coach:
Decide your main goal/purpose for getting a coach
When you’ve identified a possible coach:
Step 1: Read some of their recent content to see if it resonates with you.
Step 2: Find them on social media and see what they’re saying. Look at what others are saying about them & how they interact with their audience. Watch videos if they have any to see what they’re passionate about and how they speak to people.
Step 3: Look at their website and look further into their personality, experience, and prices. What are they promising? And how long will you work with the to see these results?
Step 4: If available, book a complimentary session with them to see how they converse with you. If they don’t have a free call, reach out to them or apply to coaching. NOTE: Only take this step when you’re ready to get started - you probably don’t want to get on a ton of calls with people if you already know they’re not a good fit.
Interested in Writing Coaching with Me?
Visit the coaching page to read more about how my coaching works (my promises & timeline from step 3).
Are You Making These 2 Deadly Mistakes with Your Next Book?
Being a writer comes with a lot of different expectations and perceptions. Everyone has an idea of what they think a writer should or shouldn’t do. Let's ignore all those other voices and focus on what’s important: writing your book. To do that, it’s important that you keep two things in mind - and avoid them at all costs.
Being a writer comes with a lot of different expectations and perceptions. Everyone has an idea of what they think a writer should or shouldn’t do. It can be overwhelming and sometimes disheartening reading all of the differing opinions.
Let's ignore all those other voices and focus on what’s important: writing your book.
In order to do that, it’s important that you keep two things in mind - and avoid them at all costs. Do that, and being a writer will be much more straightforward.
The First Deadly Mistake & How to Avoid It
As a writer, there are plenty of reasons and excuses to avoid starting a new book. Sometimes the task is too daunting, or I feel too busy. Thinking this way will only lead to putting off that book over and over again, though. This leads to the first and most critical deadly mistake you can make as a writer which is to not start.
Writing a book is daunting, and will take a lot of time and effort, but you can’t let that deter you from starting your project! The only way that your book will ever get written, is if you write it.
So, first things first - when you have an idea for a book write it down! Keep a notebook, Word Doc, or sticky notes handy so whenever you have an idea for a book, you can jot it down for later. This will help ensure you don’t forget what the heck you were thinking about when you actually sit down to write. If there are certain details that jump out at you for this idea, make sure to write those down too. You can always change your mind later.
You don’t have to dive right in and start writing the book. If it’s easier, plotting and planning is always a great way to begin. Make lists, character charts, outlines, timelines, or whatever else will help your book take form. These are all great tools to use and come back to if you get lost in your writing down the line (trust me, it happens all the time!).
If you want to create a writing notebook that will include all of these helpful tools, read about 5 pieces to include in your writing notebook - it’ll help you get started.
Once you’ve started, don’t stop! Taking breaks is essential, or you’ll get burned out. However, don’t take too long of breaks in between writing sessions or it will make it much harder for your writing to be cohesive. It can also be hard to get back into the story flow if you’re away for a while.
When I take too long of a break and I come back to my story, I have to take time to remind myself what’s going on, where I left off, and where I planned to go from there. It uses a lot of precious time that could be spent actually writing.
As writers, we’ve all experienced at one point or another a “writing slump.” This is normal! Don’t let it keep you from writing, though. If you’re stuck in a certain scene, skip it (for now). Write the next scene, or one you’re excited about instead. You can always go back to the other scene later when you have a better idea of what you want to happen.
If you need a break from writing your book, but still want to write, try a short story! Writing prompts are a fun way to come up with new ideas and try new forms of writing. If you want to learn more about how to use writing prompts, check this out.
The Second Deadly Mistake & Why You Don’t Need to Worry So Much
Without sounding like a buzzkill, no matter what your idea is, chances are, someone has already written something similar. This isn’t to say that your idea isn’t good, or unique! The second deadly mistake that you can make as a writer: feeling as if you need to write something completely new. It’s almost impossible to come up with a completely original story line, but what no one else has done is write it as you. You are what makes the idea unique.
For example, look how many Disney story retellings there are. I’ve read almost half a dozen Beauty and the Beast retellings and every one has a host of different characters, plots, and outcomes. It’s how you write the story and the details you choose to pull out that matter.
That being said, you definitely can’t plagiarize someone else’s work. But you don’t have to worry so much about whether your idea is original or not. If you’re excited about it and think it will be a great story, then write it!
The Moral of the Story: It’s Better to Start and Suck Than Not Start At All
If you’re worried about your writing not being your best work (or making you look like someone who can barely hold a thought, let alone write a book) - don’t be! That’s what editing and editors are for.
Don’t let the fear of sucking hold you back. Editing & rewriting come after you finish your first draft and can do wonders for your words. You can do a lot of these edits yourself, and/or you can hire professionals to help you.
It’s best to have more than one set of eyes on your work to ensure someone is catching things you miss, and that you aren’t accidentally overlooking your own biases.
Wondering how the heck to get started?
Remember - write down your ideas - get them on paper so you don’t forget them.
Take this free 10 day course to help organize your book (in less than 2 weeks). You don’t even have to have a work in progress yet!
Write the book. Do whatever you need to get that book started, whether that’s planning or jumping right in.
My challenge to you is to start writing or planning your book.
Have you been putting off writing? Do you have a book idea you’ve been wanting to write? What helps you get started on a new idea? I’d love to hear about your experiences and recommendations! Find me on social media or drop a comment below.
Let’s chat because you, my friend, are on your way to great writing.
Want to Write a Book? CEO Jerry Rollins Says This is a Must
Award-winning author & CEO Jerry Rollins has a piece of advice that will make writing your next book simple...
NOTE: This blog contains affiliate links. If you click through and make a purchase, I will earn a small commission at no extra cost to you.
Our May guest is Jerry Rollins.
Jerry Rollins has experienced life’s up and downs in the dual arenas of professional hockey and business. After retiring from the world of sports, this former World Hockey Association defenseman catapulted into the world of business.
He is currently the CEO of Sage Executive Group, a peer advisory group which mentors business executives, guiding them to become the best in their fields. Jerry is passionate about leadership and sharing his knowledge with up and coming companies.
Tell us a little about your writing journey.
I have always been a voracious reader but not a good writer. I felt it was something challenging to accomplish.
Your history playing professional hockey is very interesting! And then you gradually transitioned into the business world. What made you decide to write a book?
After coaching many executives for years, many of them felt my story and learnings could be beneficial to others and they suggested I do so.
Your book, Enforcer to Entrepreneur talks about many important aspects of business. Could you talk a little about how you chose what topics to include?
I had hundreds of files with many different subjects. I used a mapping process to put them all on a board and then group them. I decided about 10 chapters would be a good number.
I enjoyed the fact that you explained the business terms rather than assuming your audience knows what they mean – for instance what a SWOT analysis is and why companies should do them. What would you tell new business owners who want to keep learning and growing their business speak?
In sports and business I believed that hanging with great people and constantly challenging yourself to get better and improve we’re important. Complacency is dangerous in business and sports.
There’s lots of sage advice interspersed throughout the book. What would you say is your favorite piece of advice when you advise businesses & leadership teams?
Win with class and lose with dignity.
Describe your writing and/or creative process.
I recognized that writing was skill where I needed some support so I hired a writing coach to mentor me and a publisher to guide me through the rest of the process.
Because of your history with hockey, you focus a lot on the “winning” aspects of business, which makes sense. After all, most of us in the business world want to be successful and make money! But I am wondering what are your thoughts on the people & general happiness aspects of business? After all, people are what make a business.
Happy employees = happy customers = winning business. I felt my employees were everything and by building great teams and working hard on culture we were able to get good results.
Life balance and caring about your people is not cliché, it’s how you win.
What was your biggest writing obstacle and how did you overcome it?
By having daily and weekly goals I kept myself focused and did not become frustrated. When I faltered (which happened often) I got back to my daily discipline.
What is the part of your published work or writing process you are most proud of?
I have received notes from people who read the book, telling me it inspired them to achieve and believe they could achieve more.
What is the biggest piece of advice you would give to aspiring writers?
Hire a writing coach/mentor.
What’s the best advice someone has given you about business?
Whales only get harpooned when they rise to the surface. This means to be in control of your public persona and not let your ego get out of control with success.
What’s your favorite part about business now that you have years of experience to think back on?
Developing people.
I still participate in a Facebook page of fellow employees form one of my companies from 20 years ago. They were like family and maintain contact and friendships decades later.
If you would like to purchase Jerry Rollins’ book, Enforcer to Entrepreneur , you can find a copy here.
If you know an author (or of an author) you would love to read an interview with, email me at rachel@capturingyourconfidence.com or submit a suggestion through the contact page!
Don’t Buy Another Journal Until You Read About These
Rather than buy another blank journal you probably won’t use (even though it’s beeeeautiful) check these journals out first. Some are for poetry, some are for writers, and some are for lists! There’s something for everyone, and each could be your next creative best friend.
NOTE: This blog contains affiliate links. If you click through and make a purchase, I will earn a small commission at no extra cost to you.
I’m a huge fan of journaling. I do it every day - my Morning Pages - and there are so many benefits.
That being said, it’s not always easy to just sit down and write, especially when you have all the feelings! (If you need help getting started, check this out.)
So, rather than buy another blank journal you probably won’t use (even though it’s beeeeautiful) check these journals out first. Some are for poetry, some are for writers, and some are for lists! There’s something for everyone, and each could be your next creative best friend.
Instant Poetry
What It Is
A journal for lazy (or new) poets who want to make magic with their words but feel like poetry just “isn’t their thing.” With this fun fill in the blank poetry journal, maybe you’ll become the poet you’ve dreamed about being!
Where Can You Get It?
Why it’s Great for Writers
I’m not a poet, and I honestly never have been. That being said, the idea of poetry fascinates me! I couldn’t resist this fun fill in the blank poetry journal, and I think it’s a great way for writers to think about words differently - and poetry!
“Immature poets imitate; mature poets steal.”
Overcoming Creative Anxiety by Karen C.L. Anderson
Words from the Author
Karen C.L. Anderson
“There are four things I hope readers take away from the prompts and practices in my book:
#1 Creativity is your birthright...it's not something that some people have and others don't.
#2 You are creating in every given moment.
#3 Intentional creativity happens when you wield your thoughts and feelings on purpose.
#4 Working with your nervous system increases your ability to hold uncomfortable feelings while at the same time mitigates creative anxiety.”
What it Is
This guided journal walks readers through meeting and “disarming” their inner critic. It also introduces the inner advocate and provides plenty of space for journalers to explore themselves and let their inner creative run wild.
Where Can You Get It?
Why it’s Great for Writers
If you’re a writer, you’ve probably met (or having an ongoing hate/hate relationship with) your inner critic. This journal is a great way to work on your relationship with yourself, your creativity, and your writing.
“Trying to get rid of your inner critic is like trying to get rid of your humanity.”
You Should Be Writing by Brenda Knight & Nita Sweeney
Words from the Authors
“Journaling, especially in the form of freewriting can really help you unleash your full creativity. I cannot recommend journaling highly enough!”
Brenda Knight
Nita Sweeney
"A writer is an apprentice, learning from those who have gone before. We watch and listen, read and mimic, try, fail, and succeed, until we make the craft our own. In You Should Be Writing Brenda Knight and I built a structure for writers to learn from the goddesses, gods, and lesser known greats of writing. Each blank page, topped with a quote of instruction or inspiration, invites the writer to practice in a safe space, with the support of experts who, in time, become her colleagues and peers."
What it Is
This journal is a collection of inspiring quotes just for writers. The quotes illustrate all aspects of writing, from storytelling to craft to writing as medicine. A welcoming place to get reenergized and excited to write.
Where Can You Get It?
Why it’s Great for Writers
Aside from the fact that the journal is made for writers, I’ve always found a good quote can really help my creativity and I think it will do the same for you.
“Every form of art can provide sustenance to writers. Be open to it all. Take it in. See it. Let it feed you, inspire you, and shape your work. Let it fill your creative well and move you to share your stories on the page.”
A little sunshine and a little rain by Sabina Laura
Words from the Author
“The journal gives readers inspiration to write poetry, while encouraging them to find their own voice and express themselves. The journal is a way of helping the reader let go of any expectations they might have and just give poetry a go!”
Sabina Laura
What it Is
This journal helps inspire and gently guide readers to write their own poetry based on themes and ideas.
Where Can You Get It?
Why it’s Great for Writers
Besides the fact that this journal is physically beautiful, it’s also full of beautiful words and imagery that are sure to help you find your prettiest words and get them onto the page, even if you “don’t really write” poetry (like me).
“i have been
so afraid of
letting the light in
that i have forgotten
how to dream
with my eyes open”
The Checklist Book by Alexandra Franzen
Words from the Author
Alexandra Franzen
“This isn’t complicated stuff. It’s pretty simple. Consider what matters strongly to you. Then, plan your day accordingly. It’s simple yet difficult, because often, we forget to slow down and actually do it. By creating a daily checklist habit, this gives you an opportunity to do this every day.”
What it Is
This book technically isn’t a journal…BUT, it has lots of sage advice and lots of pages to make lists of your own using the new checklist methodology you read about.
Where Can You Get It?
Why it’s Great for Writers
Making lists is always a great way to organize yourself, but for writers it’s also another way to use words and be creative. Plus, it really will help that procrastination we all suffer from.
“Above all, trust your hut (heart + gut). Breathe. Keep it simple. Make a checklist.”
Coaching that Works Like Magic and Feels Like a Coffee Date
Imagine how nice it would be if an experienced writer read your writing (pretty much your baby by the time you hand it over) and gave you feedback in a way that doesn’t feel like you got chewed and spit back out. Sounds like a pretty sweet deal, right? Enter: Writing Coach
With an abundance of coaching out there, I often find myself wondering: how does it work? Especially when I see new kinds of coaches, or more open-ended kinds of coaching. For instance, life coaching.
How do you know you need a life coach? And how would life coaching help me, if I decided I needed one?
I was interviewing someone about mental health coaching the other day, and as she was explaining what she does, it made so much sense! But because I’d never heard of it before, I probably wouldn’t have reached out if I’d seen an ad or something. (By the way, If you’re curious, read all about what a mental health coach is here - very cool!)
As I was reflecting, it occurred to me that the benefits of what I do as a writing coach may not be super obvious. After all, I hadn’t heard anything about writing coaches until I got into the online business world. And even then, there’s a TON of mixed messaging.
If you’re still a little fuzzy about what writing coaching is, read this. It’s all about what I do, and what other kinds of writing coaches there are..
Anyway, today I wanted to share why writing coaching can help you - what you get out of the bargain! After all, it’s your work and creativity that you’re contemplating, right? It’s gotta make sense for YOU!
9 Ways Writing Coaching Can Work for You
One of the best (and worst?) things about writing is that it’s amazingly expressive. We can pour our hearts and souls onto the page and maybe someday someone will read it and totally get us and what we’re all about.
This is awesome because we get a release of everything that builds up and all of our amazing ideas. It’s also the worst because it can make sharing our work SCARY AS HELL. Seriously. I mean, no one really wants to get criticism on the thing that’s a little piece of them, right? It’s just something we have to do if we want to grow as writers.
So imagine how nice it would be if an experienced writer read your writing (pretty much your baby by the time you hand it over) and gave you feedback in a way that doesn’t feel like you got chewed and spit back out. Sounds like a pretty sweet deal, right?
Enter: Writing Coach.
One of the best things about getting coaching is having a dedicated person to look at your writing and give you feedback that won’t make you want to cry ugly tears the rest of the day. I don’t know about other coaches, but I don’t believe in the “tough love” thing. It makes me cringe even just thinking about it because let’s be real - a lot of what people say during “tough love” talks are mean, which is unnecessary. I’m so not about that.
If you’ve just handed off your writing to someone and you’re already nervous about it to begin with, the answer is NOT for me to come back with “yeah, this pretty much bites, let’s fix it.” Nuh uh.
Also, I don’t feel like that’s good mentorship anyway. Don’t get me wrong, there will always be things to improve in your writing. I write and coach writers for a living and my stuff still isn’t perfect! (And it doesn’t need to be either.)
But, when you have a writing coach acting as a mentor, it means you have someone actively paying attention to what you’re doing with your writing. It also means you have someone who knows a heck of a lot about writing doing their very best to help you get your writing and skills where you want to be. Coaching is one of the times in life that really is all about you.
When I work with you during writing coaching, I love starting where you’re at today! Setting goals, seeing you work at them, and improve is pretty much the best. Plus, working together means you have accountability for your writing. It’s not just you anymore, which makes it easier to keep going.
I don't know about you, but sometimes when I say “Oh I’m going to write a new section of my novel this week” it gets kicked to the end of the priorities list. Not because I don’t want to write, or because I don’t care, but because I’m not really accountable to anyone else. It’s just me hanging out with my super cool half a book.
Having an accountability partner has really helped me make a lot of progress, and that’s a great benefit of writing coaching: you get a built in accountability partner. (If you want to read more about why accountability partners are super helpful for writers, read this.)
Once you’re on the hook with a writing coach, and therefore being accountable, you’ll notice that you begin to get a lot more writing done. You’ll write regularly because in the back of your mind, you know someone’s waiting to hear what’s next in your novel or all the sage advice going into your non-fiction book. It’s a win-win.
Writing coaches also help you write. When you get stuck, have writer’s block, feel overwhelmed with the amount of work still to do on your project, or just plain don’t know where to start, your coach can guide you through. I like to give tasks in between coaching sessions. Activities that, based on our conversation, I know will get you writing when you’re working on your own.
Nothing I tell clients is rocket science, and it’s not usually very complicated, because I find that the simple things usually work the best. I also know it’s hard to see what’ll work when you’ve gotten so deep into your project - so I help you! You don’t have to figure it out on your own, or work on it by yourself wondering “Is this really worth it?”
Most of all, and hands down my favorite thing about writing coaching, is encouraging writers. We’re not all confident in ourselves and our writing. And we’re not always sure if what we’re doing “works” or if we’re even “good enough” to consider calling ourselves a writer. I mean, I’ll be the first to tell you there are days I sit down to write an article or a section of my novel and I finish and I’m like WOOF that is AWFUL.
One “bad” piece of writing doesn’t make me a bad writer, though, and it doesn’t make you a bad writer, either! But I bet not very many people have stopped to tell you that, have they? The most important part of my role as a writing coach is to support writers when they’re not confident.
I’ve been the writer who pretty much gave up because I thought I wasn’t good enough. For a LONG time. I kept making excuses about why I couldn’t write and telling myself I didn’t really want to write that much (have you done this, too?). I was really just scared and it took a long time to build my confidence to a level where I could even consider writing creatively, let alone sharing that with someone else!
So when I coach, confidence and making sure you feel good - and I mean, solidly good, not just “eh, maybe” good - about your writing is my #1 job. Everything else comes with it.
My challenge to you is to book a free call with me to talk about how writing coaching can help you.
Have you worked with a writing coach before? Want to know something else about writing coaching I didn’t talk about? I’d love to hear about your experiences! Find me on social media or drop a comment below.
Let’s chat because you, my friend, are on your way to great writing.