Boundaries for Business During the Holidays

Ah, the holidays. It’s the most wonderful time of the year… and the most stressful. You’re getting pulled in all sorts of directions from family, friends, clients, employees, and contractors that you barely have an hour to yourself in December. Sound familiar?

This is the time of year to set boundaries, if you haven’t already. You need to set boundaries with clients and people in your personal life. It’s challenging enough to balance everything that’s asked of you this time of year. Let’s make sure you're set up to be a ray of sunshine this holiday season.

What Does it Mean to Set Boundaries?

Boundaries allow you to set expectations with people in your life. You should always set boundaries so you can maintain a healthy work-life balance, and not be put in uncomfortable or frustrating situations.

The word ‘boundary’ can come off a little harsh, but it doesn’t have to be that way. You can set boundaries in a respectful, kind, and subtle way. In other words, you don’t have to say, “You’re breaking my boundaries!” Calmly let someone know how their actions make you feel. (We’ll get into the “how” of this more in a minute.)

Why it’s Important to Set Boundaries

Work boundaries are especially important during the holidays. Your time is stretched by more people, activities, and things to do… It can get stressful if you don’t have boundaries set in place!

In business, setting boundaries will allow you to show up as your best self. You won’t come to work run ragged or angry or frustrated or sleep-deprived. It’s up to you to take care of yourself so you can perform your best work. When you set boundaries (and stick to them), you and your clients will benefit. 

The question is: what boundaries do you need to put in place to help you do that? 

It’s much harder to set boundaries in your personal life. Saying no to mom or dad is different than saying no to a client. But it’s how you show up as your best self. You have to do what’s best for you, even if it means disappointing people you care about. 

This isn’t to say you shouldn’t be respectful and explain why you’re making the choices with your boundaries. Your loved ones care about you and want the best for you. If that means you have to set a boundary with them, they’ll learn to work within it or around it. 

3 Steps to Set Boundaries in Your Business

So we know we need boundaries, but how do we establish them? Let me let you in on a little secret: it’s not actually that complicated. Notice I didn’t say “easy” - it can be hard to maintain boundaries, especially for small businesses, during the holidays. 

That being said, these 3 simple steps will make a world of difference! 

1. Inform Clients of Time Off

It’s okay to take time off, especially during the holidays! A lot of people are taking time off, and no one will blame you for doing the same. It’s a much-needed break that we encourage you to take!

But, be clear about when you will be unavailable. Give your clients time to accommodate your absence. You don’t want to leave them high and dry, so give them plenty of notice about your time off and what you can do for them before taking vacation time. 

Setting an out-of-office reminder is also a must-do. Just because you inform your clients of your time off doesn’t mean they’ll remember. They have enough on their plate (which is probably why they hired you). They don’t have time to remember your schedule. Set an automated out-of-office email as a gentle reminder that you’re not available. Don’t forget to mention when you’ll be back online and include a way to contact you if it’s an emergency.

2. How to Communicate with you

How do you prefer to communicate with your clients? Personally, I don’t mind texting and phone calls, but some people don’t like that. With so many means of communicating nowadays, you need to make it clear what you prefer. 

When you tell clients your preferences up front, you won’t be stuck in an awkward situation of a client messaging you on Facebook Messenger (and missing the message entirely) when you prefer email or texting. It sets a clear boundary between your work and personal life.

3. Say No

Everyone understands that the holidays are ultra-busy. If you say no to a project or extra meeting because you don’t have the time or energy to do it, it’s okay! Let your client know, respectfully, that you would prefer to push it back to the new year because you don’t have the capacity to take on anything more. If they need something done quickly, they may have to find someone else to complete the project. That’s okay, too!

I learned this lesson the hard way, and in fact still sometimes have the urge to take on more than I can really accomplish. I said yes to too many clients at once, because I wanted to grow my business and income faster. But as soon as I turned to examine what was actually on my plate, it immediately became overwhelming. I was working all the time, feeling the constant presence of burnout. It honestly sucked. So when I was able to finally say “no” to a stressful client that wasn’t a good fit for my business, it felt like the weight of the world was lifted off my shoulders. It’s hard, but saying no is a good thing.

3 Ways to Set Boundaries in Your Personal Life

Setting boundaries with family and friends is one of the hardest things to do. Especially around the holidays, your time and attention are requested more than usual. You might be seeing family you only see once a year. Maybe friends are flying in for the holidays and want to hang out. It’s generally just a hectic time of year. 

During this hectic time, your boundaries will be your besties. Here are a few ways you can set boundaries with people in your personal life.

1. Say No

Yes, I’m saying it again! It’s okay to say no to things you don’t want to do or simply don’t have the time to do. It does you more harm than good to squeeze in another lunch date with a friend or spend five hours shopping for the perfect gift at the mall with your aunt. You get to decide what’s most important to you. 

2. Explain Your Boundary

Establishing new boundaries isn’t easy. People may not understand why you suddenly stop doing something you used to do. While you don’t owe anyone an explanation, it’s a good idea to let people know the basics of why you’re making the change. 

You can say something like, “I’m going to stop doing XYZ because it makes me uncomfortable.” Or, “I’m going to start doing XYZ so I can have better balance in my life.” Inform people of your boundary and kindly remind them if they accidentally break them. Eventually, your boundaries will become a habit for them, too.

3. Don’t Accept Less

How often do we accept someone being 10 minutes late, breaking something they borrowed from you, bailing on plans, or not following up on a promise? I’ve been burned many times, and it stings each time. I know things happen, but it feels like “things happen” with certain people. Every. Single. Time. 

Eventually enough has to be enough. It’s okay to make less time for people who flake out on you at the last minute every time you get together, and it’s okay to express disappointment when someone breaks a promise. That doesn’t mean you have to cut them out of your life (unless that’s the boundary you want to draw), but it should make you evaluate what you want and expect from the relationship. 

Start to set boundaries with those around you. It’s okay to let people know your expectations. PsychCentral suggests, “If you’re dealing with someone who is perpetually late, communicate this to them ahead of time — let them know you will be leaving after a certain amount of time has passed. Still, try not to sound accusatory. Consider acknowledging that you two have different personalities. You’re not trying to change them, but you need to set time boundaries for yourself because you can’t afford or don’t want to wait any longer.” 

If  there’s a main takeaway here (or if you’ve scrolled to the bottom - hi, friend!), know that it’s good to set boundaries for yourself. You need them to have a happy, healthy, and balanced life. No one will set them for you. It’s up to you to decide what boundaries to set, who to set them with, and how to enforce them. You’ve got this! 

Wishing you and your loved ones a happy holiday!

How to Write Valentine’s Day Poems for the Hopeless Romantic

With Valentine’s Day right around the corner, most of us are trying to decide what to give those special people in our lives. Whether friends, family, or significant others, they all deserve to receive something heartfelt. What better gift to give than a poem written by you? 

Here are some great tips on how to write a poem for the hopeless romantic in your life!

8 Tips for Writing Valentine’s Day Poems

1. Think about the person’s likes and dislikes. Start by making a list of everything we know our loved one likes and dislikes. Think about favorite movies, shows, books, foods, games, etc. The more information you have, the easier it will be to write a poem for them. 

2. Think about their personality & the things you like about them. This one goes a little deeper. What do you like about the person? Are they kind, caring, funny, easygoing, honest, exciting, outgoing, or sarcastic? It’s time to add all of the personality traits that you like about your loved one to the list. This will also help you decide which type of poem they will enjoy the most!

3. Think about both of your personalities & your relationship. Why is it that your relationship with your loved one just works? Is it the witty banter, free flowing conversations, or time spent just enjoying each other’s company? Whatever it is, write it down. Think about how you interact with one another and what your relationship is like. How are you together? 

4. Decide what type of poem to write. There are many types of poems. People spend their whole lives working on these things! BUT, for Valentine’s Day, you have a few simpler options. 

Haiku

A haiku is a three line poem that originated in Japan. The first line is made up of 5 syllables, the second 7 syllables and the third 5 syllables.

Here’s an example of a haiku:

Love makes me feel high

Like I’m flying in the sky

Would you like to try?

- Holly -

Limerick

A limerick is a poem containing 5 lines. The rhyming scheme for these poems is AA/BB/A. Limericks are meant to be crude, funny, or whimsical. Here is an example. It incorporates a tiny bit of that crudeness factor and whimsy, without getting really inappropriate. 

Here’s an example of a limerick:

I once met a boy in blue,

handsome and very sweet too.

I thought in my head,

please jump in my bed,

and wouldn’t you know, it was you!

- Holly -

Sonnet

There are different types of sonnets, but Shakespearean sonnets are well known for being love poems. A Shakespearean sonnet follows this rhyme scheme: ABAB/CDCD/EFEF/GG. The first 3 sections are called quatrains because of the 4 lines and the final section is a couplet because there are only 2 lines. 

Here’s one of Shakespeare’s most famous sonnets: 

Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?

Thou art more lovely and more temperate:

Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,

And summer’s lease hath all too short a date:

Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,

And often is his gold complexion dimm’d;

And every fair from fair sometime declines,

By chance or nature’s changing course untrimm’d;

But thy eternal summer shall not fade

Nor lose possession of that fair thou owest;

Nor shall Death brag thou wander’st in his shade,

When in eternal lines to time thou growest:

So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,

So long lives this and this gives life to thee.

- William Shakespeare -

Acrostic

An acrostic poem spells a word or name with the first letter of each line. It doesn’t have to rhyme or have any certain number of lines - just as many as there are letters in the word or name you choose! Each line should describe the word or name in some way. 

Here’s an example acrostic poem by famous writer Edgar Allen Poe:

Elizabeth it is in vain you say

"Love not" — thou sayest it in so sweet a way:

In vain those words from thee or L. E. L.

Zantippe's talents had enforced so well:

Ah! if that language from thy heart arise,

Breathe it less gently forth — and veil thine eyes.

Endymion, recollect, when Luna tried

To cure his love — was cured of all beside —

His folly — pride — and passion — for he died.

- Edgar Allen Poe -

Free Verse

Free verse poetry can be the easiest, but it can also be the hardest. If you choose this style, you can follow whatever rhyme scheme you want, or you don’t have to rhyme at all. Free verse is my usual go-to when writing poems, but sometimes it’s easier if you have a guideline to follow like you do with the other types of poetry.

Here’s an example of free verse poetry from famed author e.e. cummings:

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in

my heart)i am never without it(anywhere

i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done

by only me is your doing,my darling)

                                                      i fear

no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want

no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)

and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant

and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud

and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows

higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)

and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

- e.e. cummings -

5. Decide how much information you need & what to use. The type of poem you decide to write, will determine how much information you want/need to include. For example, a haiku could only use three of your brainstormed ideas at most. But any of the others would need more. If you choose a limerick, it may be more appropriate to tie in some of the dislikes you thought of and turn them into jokes (as long as you know the receiver will find them funny, too!)

6. Start drafting. Most poems take a few drafts to get right. If you’re writing a rhyming poem, it may be useful to pull up both dictionary and thesaurus websites. Not all poems have to rhyme, though! If you don’t want to worry about rhyming, you can choose to write a haiku, acrostic, or free verse poem. Sonnets and limericks typically must include rhymes.

7. Read it out loud. A poem can look great on paper, but you don’t truly know whether it flows until you read it aloud. Pick out any words or lines that could be changed to better the poem as a whole. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to make it perfect - as long as you’re happy with the outcome, and you think your loved one will enjoy it, then it’s ready!

8. Finalize the details. It’s time to make the changes we picked out in step 7 and finalize your poem! Finalizing your poem includes choosing whether you will print it out on fancy paper, with pictures, handwriting, and of course - what you want your title to be! I like to use the first line of the poem as the title, but you can be more creative if you want. Poems don’t necessarily need a title. You can always just use the name of who the poem is for, too. These little details are up to you!

Writing poems can be a great way to show we care for someone, but it can also be a lot of fun! Sometimes we surprise ourselves with what we’re able to create. Though there are many different types of poems, and certain “rules” to follow, in the end, we can write poems however we like. They are a way to express our creativity and have a little fun.

A Free Verse Poem for You, Reader

This blog is for you

those who love to write too,

reading and supporting, 

our work as you do,

means so much and more

than can be expressed,

thank you to all

and Happy Valentine’s Day to the best!

I challenge you to write a poem for a loved one or significant other.

Have you written poetry before? What type have you tried? How did it go? I’d love to hear about your experiences and recommendations! Find me on social media or drop a comment below.

Let’s chat because you, my friend, are on your way to great writing (and possibly great romance, if your poem goes well!).

Reflections on a Long A** Year

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2020 is finally over and I can honestly say I will not miss it. Not even a little. 

I wanted to do some pretty raw reflections for the end of the year because let’s be honest, this year has been unlike any other year in most of our lifetimes - and not in a good way. 

I am 100% about being positive and having an optimistic attitude. I bring those qualities to the table 95% of the time with everything that I do, on occasion, to  the annoyance of my husband who likes to see things as they are right now instead of what they could be. Hah!

The truth is, though, that even I can’t pretend that this hasn’t been a terribly hard year. There’s been a lot of tragedy, anger, and overall bad-ness that I don’t think we can or should casually shrug off like it didn’t happen. That doesn't negate the fact that there have been some wins, of course, but this is one time where I don’t think the wins outweigh the heaviness of the year. 

With that being said, I’ve been reflecting on my personal life, as well as business and blog growth. I wanted to look at them separately because they’re not quite the same, although permanently working from home blurs the lines a lot more than when I was working in an office!

The Personal Details

I say juicy, but I don’t know how accurate that is.  

To give perspective to just how much this year has been for me (and in our house): 

Quarter 1: January - February 

• Began job discussions with who we’ll call New Company C

• Best friend asked me to be a bridesmaid at her wedding in the fall! Aw, so nice! (Little did we know that COVID would mess all of it up and postpone the wedding.)

• New Company C makes me a fabulous job offer that drastically improves our quality of life; Started new role at New Company C

• Hubby’s grandfather moves out after staying with us unexpectedly for 4 months

• Threw hubby a surprise 30th birthday party! 

Quarter 1: March 

** March gets its own month because...well, you’ll see **

• 2 weeks of jury duty - first time ever being called - for a murder trial. He was guilty. I was gutted. 

• First day back from jury duty (I’ve only been at New Company C for a month at this point) we were all called into the conference room at lunchtime and sent to work from home due to fears over COVID

• COVID lockdown begins

• Hubby gets major mouth surgery a day before the surgeon postpones all non-medically necessary procedures due to COVID

• Took some time over a warm weekend to mulch and put flowers in our tiny front garden area - something I’d been wanting to do since we moved in in March 2018

• Hubby leaves miserable job to pursue self-employment

• March 31 my daily log says, “New day ahead tomorrow! A whole new month even! So glad this one is over…” Oh, girl…

Quarter 2: April - June

• Lockdown continues

• My birthday! - Olive Garden takeout wins lockdown birthday

• Got our exterior trim painted 

• Walked in lots of new nearby parks as a way to get out of the house a little

• Furloughed from my brand new job at New Company C

• Began regularly doing morning pages journaling

• New floors to replace our disgusting carpet!

• News of race riots across the country - I write on May 30 “How can this still be happening in 2020?... We need to change and we need to be better.” 

• Mini getaway to Evansville - just one overnight; first time dining in a restaurant since lockdown and it was scary

• Adopted puppy Maxwell - he was only 12 weeks old. 6 pounds of cuteness and sharp teeth!

• Helped my dad move to a new house

• Registered Capturing Your Confidence as a business with my county!

Quarter 3: July - September

• Had the gut feeling that New Company C wouldn’t be bringing me back - furlough extended - so really ramped up business endeavors with intention to go full time on my own 

• Charlie has to get his teeth cleaned, which costs as much as a mortgage payment (who knew?!)

• Migrated my website from WordPress to Squarespace - the move was ugly and complicated, but isn’t the new site pretty? ;) 

• Officially laid off from New Company C

• Offered a role as Executive Contributor for Brainz Magazine - and accepted

• Went on our first big vacation in years - we rented our own cabin in the woods in Gatlinburg! Very few major sight-seeing places to avoid crowds, but the mountains were beautiful, as always, and we can’t wait to go back again

• Our 4 year wedding anniversary!

• Able to work outside with my best friend (who also works remotely) a few afternoons when the weather was fair!

Quarter 4: October - December 

• Maxwell gets neutered & has surgery on his cherry eye

• I invite Holly to be a regular contributor on the blog! 

• Hubby begins working in partnership with Shipt

• Maxwell gets eye surgery #2 because he escaped the cone in October and damaged the stiches

• Election day - waited 4 hours to vote. At least it was warm and sunny!

• Picked an absorbently expensive healthcare plan and signed up! 

• Hubby diagnosed with sleep apnea

As I was putting this list together, I thought to do a reflection of each month, but honestly? The truth is that in March I was just completely bombarded with event after event that was so hard to deal with. Then I got furloughed in April (later to be permanently laid off), so I feel like the rest of the year has been trying to deal with the hand I was dealt and making the best of the day and/or the week. 

I am a firm believer that we don’t need to compare trauma and “one up” each other with who had it worse.

This isn’t meant to be a sob story, goodness knows there are people who have had it much much worse than I have! But I am a firm believer that we don’t need to compare trauma and “one up” each other with who had it worse. Even just listing out the good with the bad has been a process of realization that we went through all of this! I’m still here, my husband and boys are still here, and thankfully our families have been safe this year as well. 

I’m grateful, but ready to move on. Ready to create a new, brighter future next year!

The Big (Small) Business Milestones

Personally, this year has been full of ups and downs, but for my business, changes have been trending up! When I was furloughed, I made the decision to work on my business full time - it was one of my goals from early in the year to replace my income by the end of the year, and it was the perfect opportunity to make sure I would actually like working for myself and making all the decisions.

I can say 7-8 months in that I LOVE it and I don’t have plans to go back to a 9-5 job! I’ve been able to more or less replace my income and I love making the decisions, even when there’s a lot to do. I have big plans for next year and one silver lining of 2020 was that it gave me time not just to figure out how business works and what it looks like, but to actually do it full time. I know this is something I wouldn’t have otherwise jumped into so quickly, but I’m thankful that I’ve been able to make it work and am proud to be back on the upward trend financially and career-wise.

Here are some of the major milestones that happened in 2020:   

• Officially registered as a business

• Got an official business address

• Opened up a business bank account

• Created a safe way for people to pay for products and services

• Created infrastructure to support business growth (i.e. all the admin stuff you need to run a business - like tracking where your money goes and what projects are due when, etc.)

• Rebranding

• Invested in professional development

• Connected with a ton of amazing entrepreneurs & grew my professional network like crazy

• Collaborated with other entrepreneurs

• Was asked to do many guest posts

• Became an Executive Contributor at Brainz Magazine & named to Brainz Global 500 List as an expert in my field

• Transitioned from “side hustle” to full time business owner with paying clients! 

• Brought on a contributor to support the enormous growth Capturing Your Confidence has had 

• Became active on Medium

I’m sure there’s probably more, but I think that’s plenty! It’s been a year full of vertical growth, and I’m so excited not only for how much I’ve grown but how much I’ve learned in the process. Hands down one of my favorite things has been meeting other entrepreneurs and like-minded people and connecting. 

One thing I do miss about being in an office is the chatting, but I’m thankful that I’ve been able to make some business friends, which has made things less lonely. 

I’ve also very much enjoyed the intentional learning I’ve done through courses. If you know me, you know I love learning! I always have, and I always will. I’ve figured out that I really like self-paced learning, although some of these have live components. It’s nice to be able to vary what I’m learning about. 

I will be the first to admit, though, that I may have overdone it a little in my excitement to learn. I am still working on several of these, and the others took much longer than anticipated. As it turns out, when you’re the only one in your business, you have to do everything, even the really boring stuff. Hah! So, to be able to learn with courses, you have to be very intentional about what it is you’re learning and when you work on it.

Having so many options left me a bit overwhelmed and trying to figure out what was most important. Ultimately, I will finish all of them (many of them I’m close to completing) and I’m glad I invested in them, but I’ve learned the hard way that I may not need every course I want to take right away.

Courses Enrolled In: 

Blogging Blastoff 2.0 by Heather & Pete Reese of It’s a Lovely Life

When I started blogging way back in April 2019, I took Heather & Pete’s free 5 day Start a Blogging Business course. It changed my perspective on what blogging could really mean and do. I also regularly participate in their free monthly 10K Traffic Challenge, which is great for meeting new people and growing my network! So it makes sense that after so much interaction with their free products, I purchased their signature paid blogging program called Blogging Blastoff 2.0. Although I’ve since decided that I don’t want to make my main income as a blogger, I learned a ton of valuable information from the course.  

The Funnels Academy by Christina Bernhard

As I began to clarify what I wanted my business to be and what I was offering, I came across Christina’s course The Funnels Academy. At the time, it was in beta and I was in the first group to go through the completed program. It was amazing, and I know she’s continued to update with the feedback she got during the beta testing. My testimonial is even on the sales page! Check it out here.

List Builders Society by Amy Porterfield

I took some free webinars with Amy on email list building and I love her energy. Everything is simple! Email list building is so important for online businesses, and Amy is definitely at the top of the industry, which I feel is a great reason to take advice from her. I’m still in the last stages of this course, but it will be done by the end of next month. So worth it - and I made some new friends to boot! Read all about it here.

The Work Online + Travel the World Course by Cassie & Shay of The Bucketlist Bombshells

When I signed up for The Work Online & Travel the World Course, I’d been following The Bucketlist Bombshells for about a year. Every time I saw their emails I thought about investing and I just wasn’t quite sure. When I finally did take the leap, it was so worth it! I recently finished the course, and out of all of the courses I’ve worked on, this one has easily been one of the best investments. It’s helped me get the business-y side of my business set up and a more clear idea of what I want to offer. They even inspired me to redo my website late this summer! Check it out here.

The Marketing Seminar by Seth Godin

When I signed up for The Marketing Seminar with Seth Godin this fall, I’ll admit that I had hesitations about being able to keep up. One of my clients was getting a group together for it and offered me a great deal to join the team in the seminar and I felt like I couldn’t pass up such a great opportunity with such a successful marketer when marketing is one of the things that’s hardest for me - it’s definitely not something I would call a strength...yet. 

Although my fears were correct in not being able to keep up with this rigorous course, there is SO MUCH VALUE. The first 100 days are live and then you get 100 additional days to review and continue to go through the material. I’m still pushing through, but even with the what feels like small amount I’ve done so far (it’s not, really, but compared to the amount available it feels like it!), I have been able to clarify things I’ve been struggling with since I started blogging almost 2 years ago - wow! Read more here.

Transparent Sales by Taylor Lee

I stumbled upon Taylor’s Facebook ads sometime during the summer right after I decided to replace my income full time. I thought - who could better help me with sales than someone who makes 6 figures a MONTH sometimes?! When I began to dive in, I was empowered but also overwhelmed. I wasn’t quite ready for the powerful information she was giving about how easy and not slimy sales can be. But, I’m still so thankful that I purchased the course because now that I’ve worked on the other things I needed to get in place and clarify first, I’m ready to dive in and start fresh next month. I can’t wait!! I love getting her emails and seeing her social posts. Check it out here.

Confidence Coaching Certification by Louise Anne Maurice of Get Results Coach Academy

Last, but certainly not least is the confidence coaching certification I thought *for sure* I needed to be successful as a coach. I purchased this on a whim, and although I haven’t done too much with it, I am looking forward to digging deeper because I do think it will help with structuring how I coach. Because it comes with a certification at the end, and a directory listing, I think it will be most valuable for networking purposes, but I LOVE studying (clearly) and I’m really into learning more about confidence - it’s at the core of my business. Read more about it here.

Having said aaaaaall of that, it wasn’t my intention to go THAT extensive with my learning this year. HAH. Many of the courses were purchased in a time before I really knew what I needed, although I don’t regret any of them because they’ve all been helpful. It also helps that I follow all of these people’s email lists and saw when the courses went on sale. ;)

Top Blogs & Published Writing

Interview with an Author: Dr. Vanessa Rapatz

Interview with an Author: Margarita Meyendorff 

6 Creative Time Management Strategies to Keep Writing this Holiday Season

7 Reasons Writers Need Growth Mindset

4 Simple Steps to Stop Unnecessary Rewriting

These blogs did really well this year & it was exciting that multiple interviews were the most viewed! I’ve loved chatting with authors all year long, and I’m pleased to say that there will only be more from here! 

You can check out a full list of my guest posts and published writing here. It’s a brand new page that I’ll be updating when I have new content that’s not on the blog - I’m pretty excited to keep sharing my work in new ways!

Looking Ahead

2021 is going to be another big year! I have very positive vibes going into the year, and I plan to make the most of a brand new year by hitting the ground running. While I won’t be sharing income and financial goals, I do have a number of other goals I’ll be working on, which I think will be pretty exciting. 

Without further ado, here’s some of what’s on deck for next year: 

• More content in general: This is something I’ve struggled with since I started the blog, but I am going to be pushing hard to get to 2 consistent pieces of content every week! Now that I have help, it will be easier, but it’s on the top of my mind because I keep hearing that you want more! 

• Classic book review collection: Super pumped about doing a deeper dive into the classic lit world again. As it turns out, English majors read a lot of classic books - especially lit majors like myself! But, it’s hard to find a solid book review that’s not as detailed SparkNotes but still has depth beyond “this was great!” or “this sucked.” So I’m glad to be starting a middle ground book review collection.

• 5 day free organizing your writing course: I’m SO pumped to be putting this together! I’m hoping to debut it at the end of January. It will be all about organizing your ideas so that you can actually start writing (instead of putting it off - it’s okay, we all do it). 

• Paid writing course!: Last, but certainly not least, I will be launching a writing course this year! I’ve been back and forth a couple of times on which course I want to build this year (I have so many ideas!) but know that it’s coming. Also, if you have anything you’d like to see, by all means email me right now at rachel@capturingyourconfidence.com or go here to let me know. After all, I’m here to help you!

Anyway, so that’s 2020 in a nutshell! All crazy 12 months. I secretly feel like from about March to November was actually the longest month on record, though, and not separate months at all. I know that 2021 is going to be different, and I’m so ready!

How was your year? I’d love to hear about your experiences! Find me on social media or drop a comment below.

Let’s build a brighter tomorrow - together.

8 (Cheap) Ways to Do Self-Care this Winter

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With all the end of the year holidays upon us, and the onset of cold winter weather, taking care of ourselves is even more important than usual. This doesn’t include the rest of the year being bonkers - pandemic, contentious election, major social movements, etc. 

It’s safe to say that we all need some self-love and self-care.

What is Self-Care?

First, what the heck is self-care? I mean, it’s definitely a buzzword and everyone seems to be talking about it, but what is it? 

Self-care is simply the things people do for themselves to get and stay healthy, as well as to deal with illness (and hopefully prevent it). So things like: exercise, eating well, doing activities that make you happy and relaxed, making sure your environment is clean and comfortable to be in, and so on. Even making sure you have good personal hygiene is part of self-care! 

The International Self-Care Foundation has some awesome information not just about what defines self-care, but also the necessities you need to implement self-care in your own life. You can read more here.

10 Ways to Do Self-Care this Winter

Taking care of your own wellness is critical not just for your own emotional & physical wellbeing, but also to have coping strategies for the changes going on around you. 

Writers, and introverts especially, have a tendency to observe everything around them - it’s how we create great stories and believable characters. It can also be overwhelming when there is so much to observe and try to make sense of, so you need to be able to detox from it. These 8 activities are great forms of self-care for just about anyone. Bonus: they’re cheap! 

We can personally say that we have tried and/or do all of these self-care activities on a regular basis and they really work. Give them a shot and let us know how they go for you!

Color

Maybe you haven’t colored since you were a kid. You remember the lidless container of broken, paperless crayons everyone’s parents and grandparents seemed to have, right? 

As it turns out, coloring isn’t just for kids! It’s a great stress reliever for adults, too. There’s even science & research to back it up.  Coloring pages for adults can take your mind out of your worry zone and relax your brain. 

It can also be really fun and satisfying to see something pretty come together knowing that you have absolutely no obligation to do anything with it later. (i.e. it’s not a gift you “have to” find a place for).

Grab some adult coloring pages (cheap!) here. 

And if you’re feeling spicy, there’s some swear-y coloring pages here.

Write in a Journal

For word people, reading can be soothing. But sometimes even reading feels like too much - it becomes some kind of race or duty to finish the book. 

Have you ever had that feeling? 

Journaling can be a great way to express yourself and your worries without pressure. While the idea of a “diary” can feel cumbersome, there are lots of studies that show that journaling can help not just cope with stress, but also with anxiety and depression. 

Journaling is a great form of self-care because it’s private and it can look however you want it to! It doesn’t have to be endless pages of dramatic scenes from your life like you see in teen movies. Nor does it have to be a defined structure at all. It’s literally there for you to express whatever you’re feeling without having to worry about other people being involved.

I wrote all about the benefits of journaling & the different types of journals here. Check it out and see what might work for you!

Watch your Favorite Movie or TV Series

Do you have a favorite movie? You know, one that you love no matter how many times you watch it? Or perhaps a guilty pleasure TV series that you can’t seem to stop watching even though you’ve seen it 10 times?

Watch it again. 

Watching the same thing over and over again isn’t actually that weird. In fact, a lot of people do it! Studies show that watching our trusty favorites over and over again helps anxiety because we know what’s going to happen - it’s predictable. 

When the world seems to be spinning out of control, what’s more comforting than having a small modicum of predictability? 

This week I will be indulging in this form of self-care with Jim Carrey’s How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000) for approximately the 5th time since Thanksgiving. No shame here! I love it and it makes me happy.

Take a Bubble Bath or Hot Shower

I don’t know about you, but when I’m stressed and overwhelmed, or if I’ve just had a bad day, I feel the immense need to shower. To me, it feels like I’m washing off the stink of the day and the warm water helps the world fall away for a few minutes. 

Evidently I’m not the only one who feels this way! 

Sometimes I like a bubble bath, but more importantly than the mode of getting clean is the getting clean part itself. The hot water can help you breathe better, relieve pain, and even open your pores. 

Taking a hot bath or shower can also give you a moment of quiet alone time - or meditation time - away from the stresses of everyday life. The best thing is, you don’t really need to buy anything to indulge! If you do want to get a little fancy, I like lavender Epsom salt.

Meditate

I’ve written a lot about meditation lately, but it’s a daily staple for me. When I was younger (and my anxiety was wildly out of control), I thought meditation was only for religious use. I also thought that everyone who meditated had figured out how to fold their legs just so and magically could achieve inner peace by rhythmically chanting “Ohm.”

I won’t say that those things aren’t true, because you definitely can meditate for religious reasons - and if sitting with crossed legs on a yoga mat works for you, go for it! 

But that’s not the only way to practice meditation. 

Meditation can happen in a number of ways - even down to 5 minute mindfulness practices! It’s a great tool for self-care because when you meditate, you clear your mind and focus on your breathing. As you learn how to effectively meditate, you can more quickly and easily shed stress and anxiety. 

I particularly like the Stop Panic & Anxiety and Insight Timer apps - both free to use with lots of options for guided imagery, breathing, and general mindfulness. I use them often in the mid-afternoon to reset my mindset, and I use them at night to sleep more soundly.

Go for a Walk (Yes, in the Snow)

I’m a big proponent of walking. During the day, I try to make sure to get up and walk around for a few minutes every hour as often as I can. When the sun is shining (and it’s not literally 0 degrees outside) I try to walk outside. Even in the snow. 

Walking is a good form of exercise, pretty low key in terms of how hard it is to actually do. For self-care, getting your body moving regularly can have great physical & mental benefits! It changes your scenery for a little bit and can give you time away from whatever you’ve been working on to focus on yourself or something that you want to think about. 

Bonus: if you have dogs, they’ll be glad to join you and they won’t require you to come up with any conversation.

Take a Nap

Before I had other coping strategies for my anxiety, napping was my immediate go-to. It’s the fastest, most effective way to shut down my brain and bring it to a full stop. 

As it turns out, napping remains a great self-care strategy, although I’m glad I have some other tools now, too. Napping is a great form of self-care because you’re listening to your mind and body about what it needs. 

While it can seem counterproductive to take a nap amidst a mile-long to-do list, you’ll find that taking a moment for a little self-care actually boosts productivity and morale. You’ll feel refreshed and relaxed when you wake up - even after just 15 minutes!

I regularly take short 10-15 minute naps in the mid-afternoon, combined with a short mindfulness meditation, because it’s like I’m resetting my brain to kick ass the rest of the day. It also helps me deal with my anxiety in a healthy way rather than letting panic go unchecked. 

This is easily one of my top 3 well-loved and most used forms of self-care.

Work on a Craft or Hobby 

With so many of us working from home nowadays, it’s important to have some sort of separation between work and personal life. If you’re like me, working could easily take over everything if you don’t intentionally set boundaries and practice self-care. 

Figuring out other things to do was, at first, tricky. After all, my biggest passion is writing and I do it for a living. The boundaries between work and fun can get very fuzzy! 

The more I’m at home, though, the more I realize that making and taking the time to work on crafts and hobbies is a wonderful form of self-care. It’s satisfying to make something cute or pretty and I can get completely absorbed in something that I purely enjoy rather than have to “work on” to make money. 

I do sewing, paint by number (with regular paint on canvas or diamond painting), and sticker by number right now and I love them!

Next Steps

Taking care of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally is critical to being a healthy human - and feeling good. The best part is that you can choose any or all of these forms of self-care and combine them together in your own special way to create the perfect balance for you.

My challenge to you is to choose one of these forms of self-care and try it.

Need help figuring out a creative routine or just someone to help you stay accountable for doing enough self-care? Click here to read how I can help!

Have you tried any of these forms of self-care? Do you do a type of self-care that didn’t make the list? I’d love to hear about your experiences and recommendations! Find me on social media or drop a comment below.

Let’s chat because you, my friend, are on your way to great writing - and great relaxing.

6 Creative Time Management Strategies to Keep Writing this Holiday Season

It’s that time of year again: the holidays. 

The ones where many people seem to be running around frantically trying to accomplish 6 months worth of cleaning in the 2 weeks before families gather for one of the biggest celebrations of the year.

Well, that’s how it usually is at least. This year is a little different! We may not be gathering as much as usual, but we’re all definitely home for the holidays, which means joy!...and lots of needs. 

It might feel like our writing is at the bottom of our list of “important” things, but the reality is that our creativity and writing does matter to our daily lives.

There are many stressors and many personal joys getting put aside for the sake of preparing for the holidays. Taking care of extra household chores and possibly extra people in our homes is a lot of work! It might feel like our writing is at the bottom of our list of “important” things, but the reality is that our creativity and writing does matter to our daily lives - even if it’s just a momentary escape from the humdrum or a blessed relief from people needing us so much. 

So in honor of the busiest time of year, I’ve put together some simple strategies to help you keep writing this holiday season.

6 Creative Time Management Strategies that Will Help you Stay Sane this Holiday Season

Although simple, these strategies work! I use them in my daily life, and although they work on a regular basis, they’re even better around the holidays. Rest assured: you’re not alone in your stress! You’ll get through it and these strategies will help.

Stay Calm

First and foremost, panic is the enemy of productivity and creativity. If you’re in a frenzy about how to do all the things you’ll end up doing nothing. Not the necessary tasks, not the fun tasks - you’ll just worry about all of them and remain frozen in inaction. 

So, when you think about all the things you need to do, take a deep breath and stay calm while you figure things out.

So, when you think about all the things you need to do, take a deep breath and stay calm while you figure things out. This is probably one of the trickiest things to do when you’re already worked up, but it’s critical. If one breath doesn’t work, take however many you need to clear your mind enough to move forward.

Make a List

I’m not just saying this because I love lists (because I SO do): creating a list of tasks to complete is probably the simplest and easiest way to help you organize yourself and manage your time. When you sit down (calmly, of course) to think about all the tasks you need to do AND you write them down, not only are they much more likely to get done, but you also won’t have to worry about forgetting them! 

If you’re wondering whether your writing should count as a task: Yes. Put your writing on the list of things you need to do this holiday season. It’s for you, it’s something you love, and your creativity is worth investing your time in, even when time feels like a scarce commodity.

Use Your Calendar!

Once you have your list, begin to put things on your calendar. Whether you like a hands-on paper calendar or a digital calendar - schedule time for tasks. Talk to the people who live in your house and tell them what you’re doing. 

Putting things on the calendar makes them feel more important. Just like a meeting at work or a doctor’s appointment, your tasks at home, including writing, warrant setting aside time. Telling the people around you about your plan will help create an awareness that you’ll be doing things a little differently so you’ll need support and perhaps extra help.

Take One Small Step at a Time

Seeing a laundry list of things to do can be overwhelming. Seeing a busy calendar full of things you need to do can be a lot to take in, especially if you’re not used to seeing things there! Or planning ahead. 

The most important thing to remember is to keep taking small steps forward.

The most important thing to remember is to keep taking small steps forward. Even if you miss your goal for household chores or skip a writing session you planned, you can still spend some time doing each task. Maybe it’s 15 minutes hiding from everyone in the bathroom to get some semblance of peace and quiet so you can empty your brain onto the page. Maybe it’s cleaning as many dishes as you can while dinner is in the oven and thinking about that creative idea you had earlier - multi-tasking for the win. 

Small steps are still steps, just like small progress is still progress.

Just Say “No”

The holidays seem to come with a crazy amount of extra requests for help or time together or even just to listen about how hard everything has been this year. While we don’t want to become Grinchs, we also don’t need to be “Yes Men” either. 

It’s okay, and healthy, to set boundaries when everyone wants you to do everything or prepare everything or take care of everyone. It’s okay to say “no,” even to your family who you love so dearly. You are only one person. So, if something comes up out of the blue that’s not an emergency (because we can’t predict those), seriously consider whether you a) want to do whatever it is they’re asking and b) whether you have the emotional and physical bandwidth for the task. 

It’s not always about being nice or flexible - those things are both great - but, sometimes people forget that you have your own things to worry about, too.

Enlist Help

There’s this romantic idea that being home for the holidays is this fabulous time without frustration and stress, but, as you probably know from the rest of the year, being home so much with so many people (thanks, COVID) - even when you love them - is enough to drive anyone crazy. 

When your To-Do list looks like something that’s going to walk right out of a Stephen King novel, it’s time to enlist help.

When your To-Do list looks like something that’s going to walk right out of a Stephen King novel, it’s time to enlist help. Partners, kids, and anyone else living under your roof who is able-bodied can help you with the little things. You can even make a game out of it! But, one thing is for sure: the holidays don’t mean that you alone signed up for extra work on behalf of everyone who will enjoy the benefits of it. 

Next Steps

I know this time of year is hella stressful. Most of us aren’t even travelling as usual and it’s still complicated! The good news is that there are ways to help yourself manage this holiday season, and get some writing done to boot. 

You have the strategies, but what’s next?

1. Look at your calendar and see when you will be busiest. It’s still early, so you have time to think about it!

2. Make a tentative plan for how you think the holidays will play out. Start making your list of what you already know you need to get done. Make those decisions about when you’re going where or if you’re even traveling at all.

3. Share your plan with  people who can (and should) help you! Prepare the people around you. Tell them about what you’re doing, tell them what you expect, and tell them what you need. Tell them how much you love them and are grateful for them - this will (hopefully) make them less resistant to pitching in!

4. Take a breath of relief because you’re going to be just fine. My mom has always said, “This, too, shall pass” and it’s never failed to happen. Even if this is the worst holiday season you ever experience (I hope not!), it will pass and you’ll be okay. Know that you’re loved and appreciated. (And if you need an extra reminder of how awesome you are, email me right now - I’ll shower you with praise! rachel@capturingyourconfidence.com). 

My challenge to you is to take a breath, make a plan, and build time into your busy holiday season for your writing. You’ll feel great about it!

Do you write during the holidays? How do you maintain motivation? Do you have other ways to manage your time so you can keep writing? I’d love to hear about your experiences! Find me on social media and/or drop a comment below.

Let’s chat because you, my friend, are on your way to great writing. 

How to Practice Gratitude (Because It’s Food for the Soul)

Next week is Thanksgiving, and although 2020 has been a wild year, there’s still much to be grateful for. 

Last year around this time I was writing about why we should have gratitude all year long, not just around the holidays. I stand by that, and in the past year I’ve learned a lot about the importance of gratitude. 

This year I wanted to share some new tools that I’ve used and seen because practicing gratitude intentionally every day has changed my life, and I think if you tried it it could change yours, too.

What is Gratitude & Why is it Important?

To be grateful means, “showing or expressing thanks, especially to another person” (Cambridge Dictionary). Gratitude doesn’t always have to be directed at a person, though. 

You can be grateful for events that happen to you, actions someone takes toward you, an inner quality, or even objects that just make your day better. For instance, when I think about what I’m grateful for in the morning, I often include things like the sunny day or my passion for words. 

While being grateful might seem simple, it’s incredibly powerful. As you probably know, sometimes bad days or bad experiences can make gratitude a lot harder to think about. Sometimes we just want to wallow in whatever negative mindset we’re feeling. 

And to an extent, that’s healthy. Having a full spectrum of emotion is a very human thing! But, just because we might be in the depths of despair, as one of my favorite characters always says, doesn’t necessarily mean there’s nothing positive or impactful happening. Unfortunately, most of life’s hardest lessons are learned the messy way and we only really appreciate them and become grateful for them later in life. 

How Gratitude Can Change Your Life

I’ve always been someone who expressed gratitude, but it wasn’t until this year that I decided to make a daily practice of it. I initially thought it was something that was nice, but that maybe people who wrote about the positive effects were kind of exaggerating. 

I mean, could one simple act of thinking about something really do that much? 

The stunning answer is actually yes! (Obviously I had to learn this the hard way.)

Although there are probably a thousand reasons we should practice gratitude, I wanted to focus on 3 major ways that gratitude can drastically change your life. These are things most of us strive for, but many people get stuck on the “how” part.

1. Make you happier - Can you imagine waking up and starting your day thinking about the good parts of your life instead of social media or email or the fact that you don’t want to go to work (even if you work from home)? Thinking about what you’re grateful for makes you happier. I mean, it makes sense, right? Focusing on the good rather than the bad increases happiness about where you are right now. I’m not the only one who thinks that, either!

2. Make you more satisfied - If you are thinking about what you’re grateful for once or twice a day, it means that you are thinking about your life in the present moment. Sometimes it’s harder to find things to be grateful for than others, but it really makes you stop and think about the good. And when you can see the good in your life, you’re much more likely to be satisfied. This is especially important in a world that’s constantly encouraging the extra “grind” to be better, get more, and do all the things. Gratitude helps you appreciate the now.

3. Change your outlook on the future - When you can appreciate the now and think positively about it, you can change your future. More doors seem to be open (or at least within viewing distance), more possibilities seem to present themselves, and life just feels...better. It’s not necessarily even that your life feels awesome right now, or that you don’t want to achieve more than you have right now. When you can look at the current positives, though, you can imagine even bigger, more exciting possibilities for the future, and that’s priceless.

3 Ways to Practice Gratitude

It seems like a no-brainer that if you can be happier, more satisfied, and change your outlook on life - all HUGE  promises - that you’d want to at least investigate the “how to” part, right? 

Most of us are busy and the thought of another thing “to do” might be cringe-worthy. But, I promise that practicing gratitude doesn’t have to be time consuming. There are multiple ways to begin, so I’ll share a few and you can choose a place to start.

Morning & Evening Lists

I journal every morning, so I track my morning gratitude there. I simply write down 3-5 things in list format every day when I’ve done my writing and move on. This portion of my journaling literally takes 30 seconds or less. 

In the evening, I use an app called Pixels to log my day, and I note 10 things I’m grateful for in my log there. If it seems like a lot - it is! But, it does make me consider the small joyful pieces of the day that would otherwise likely be overlooked.

Gratitude Log

If you don’t journal (I don’t blame you, it is a time commitment - maybe I could convince you to try that, too?), I’ve created a printable log for gratitude. You can print it out as many times as you want and it’s very low key. 

There’s a place to put a date and a box for you to write what you’re grateful for each day. That’s it! Not a lot of other clutter, so you won’t be distracted. You could also do multiple notes for one date if you wanted, like I do, and it will be very neat and tidy when you look back at it.

GET IT HERE

Gratitude Journal

I’ve also created a gratitude journal if you’re wanting a little more inspiration to get you started on your intentional gratitude journey! It includes 5 weeks of entries with multiple inspirational quotes for each week. It’s undated so you can print it again when the month is over.

GET IT HERE

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Next Steps

I don’t make promises often, in part because I don’t promise things I can’t follow through on. Gratitude, however, is one of the things that I’m willing to promise will change your life. When you’re intentional about it every day, you’ll be happier, more satisfied, and your outlook on life will be much more open and positive. 

With that in mind, here’s what to do next:

1. Think about what you’re grateful for. Take a few moments right now to think about a few things that you’re grateful for in your life. 

2. Figure out a way to document your gratitude. Check out the gratitude log and the gratitude journal and see if one of them appeals to you! If you’re already a journaler, you can start by making a space for it each day, too. 

3. Make a plan to reflect on what you’re grateful for. Sometimes life is complicated and it’s just plain hard to figure out what the good pieces are. I get it! Especially with the pandemic going on and everything else that has happened this year. If you need some help, I can always work with you on figuring out what tracking method might be best for you, and how to start creating that habit. Click here to read more about working with me.
   

My challenge to you is to name something you’re grateful for right now, and then figure out a way to create a daily gratitude habit.

Do you practice gratitude? Have you used one of the tools I mentioned? Do you have a different tool that you use to track gratitude? I’d love to hear about your experiences and recommendations! Find me on social media or drop a comment below.

Let’s chat because you, my friend, are on your way to great writing.

14 Books that Make Great Secret Santa Gifts

The holiday season is almost here! Soon it will be cold and we’ll be thinking about feasting at Thanksgiving and gift giving for Christmas. 

In preparation of the busy season (or if you’re an early shopper like me), I put together a list of some great books to give your Secret Santa this year - assuming they like to read! 

There’s a little something for everyone - Non-Fiction, Fiction, & Journals. As a writer & reader, I can vouch for all of these books! Some of them I’ve even done full book reviews on. 

“The trick to finding a great Secret Santa gift book is to keep it interesting to the person you’ll be giving it to & away from polarizing topics”

The trick to finding a great Secret Santa gift book is to keep it interesting to the person you’ll be giving it to & away from polarizing topics (like war, politics, etc.) unless you intimately know what their beliefs are. I try to focus on uplifting & books with a positive vibe, but that’s completely up to you! If your Secret Santa loves to have a good cry, by all means, get them a sappy story. 

Ultimately, there are always more choices - but these are some great picks to get you started!

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NON-FICTION

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You are a Badass - Jen Sincero

Brief summary: The full title of this book is You are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life. As the title implies, Sincero helps the reader step-by-step to figure out what’s holding them back, how to create a brand new badass mindset, and what to do with that new mindset.  You can read a full review here.

Why it’s a good pick: You might guess from the sunshine yellow cover that this book radiates positivity, and you’d be right. It only gets better as you read it! Unlike many self-help books, there is nothing implied about needing to “fix” yourself and it doesn’t preach at you. It’s all about learning, accepting, and growing. This book changes mindset, and can literally impact someone’s life in the best way - I know it did for me. I’m waiting with baited breath for a chance to give this as a gift. 

Who would love this book?: Anyone would enjoy this book, especially people who are looking for a positive kick in the pants positive attitude. 

Note: There is swearing, so it’s not necessarily for young readers.

Buy It Here

Everything is Figureoutable - Marie Forleo

Brief summary: Forleo’s little phrase “Everything is Figureoutable” is making big waves for people everywhere. Her goal is to show readers that “the power isn’t out there, it’s in you.” Forleo uses her own experiences and those of other figureoutable success stories from all over the world to show that you can figure out anything that comes up in your life - even if it’s the worst of the worst. You can read a full review here.

Why it’s a good pick: This was the first “self-help” book I read - I preordered it actually, because I was taking a webinar with Marie and she’s magnetic. I never once read a self-help book before this, and in fact, I kind of scoffed at them. They’re lame, right? WRONG. This book. Seriously. It’s a game-changer for anyone who reads it & actually does the work. It literally shows you how to be a better & more positive you. I have given it as a gift more than once!

Who would love this book?: People who dislike self-help books, anyone who’s wants to be their best self without changing who they are, & anyone who’s ready to take action to make their dreams come true (even if they don’t know where to start)

Note: There is swearing, so it’s not necessarily for young readers. 

Buy It Here

Educated - Tara Westover

Brief Summary: This is a memoir, so Westover is telling about her life growing up in a survivalist Mormon household in Idaho. When she’s 17 she goes to college - setting foot in a classroom for the first time ever. Westover’s is a tale of incredible self-discovery and growth despite tremendous odds. It shows the interesting dynamics of a family lifestyle that most people only see on TV. Most of all, it shows perseverance and strength. You can read a full review here.

Why it’s a good pick: Even though it’s a memoir, Educated reads like a novel - one that you won’t want to put down. The subject is fascinating, and Westover’s voice is powerful. It’s even more powerful when you understand that this woman, who is only in her mid-30s, went through it all. It’s definitely a more serious read, but still feels positive and hopeful. 

Who would love this book?: People who love a powerful story, educators, people who support education, people who love to learn about cultures & beliefs different than their own, people who love a good underdog story

Buy It Here

The Devil in the White City - Erik Larson

Brief Summary: The full title of this book is The Devil in the White City: Murder, Magic, and Madness at the Fair that Changed America. Larson weaves the tale of multiple important members of history. Arguably, the most “thrilling” story is that of H.H. Holmes who is thought to be one of America’s first serial killers. 

That being said, there are a number of other stories intertwined, such as architect Daniel Hudson Burnham who built many famous buildings across the U.S. & directed the World’s Fair in Chicago in 1893. Larson paints a pretty comprehensive picture of the time and goings-on during a very exciting & innovative time in American history. 

Why it’s a good pick: Larson is an amazing writer and historian. He writes history that reads like a novel and makes it exciting. The people come alive and you’re, at once, wondering how no one has caught this madman yet (H.H. Holmes), but entranced by the fact that the world around him is just building the first Ferris Wheel (thought impossible at the time) and getting electric lighting. It’s a good story, but it’s also an interesting learning experience. Larson has many other books, too, so when your Secret Santa loves the book, they’ll have plenty more to read!

Who would love this book?: People who love history, people who love serial killers & creepy murderers, people who are interested in architecture, people who are interested in invention & inventing, people who are into the darker parts of history, people who are from Chicago or Indiana

Note: This book depicts some creepy & gruesome elements

Buy It Here

Half Broke Horses - Jeanette Walls

Brief Summary: Walls tells the tale of her spunky and incredibly strong grandmother, Lily Casey Smith. From breaking horses with her father on the ranch at 6 years old to leaving home at 15 and riding 500 miles alone with her horse to be a schoolteacher on the western frontier, Lily exhibits an incredible outlook on life for someone who has survived so much hardship. 

Why it’s a good pick: I guess there’s a theme here for historical books that read like novels! If you’ve read any of Walls’s other books (like The Glass Castle), you know she has a very unique voice that’s just so good at telling stories. This book feels like the incredible story your grandma told you when you were little that you never wanted to end. Not only is there an element of history, but Lily’s sheer willpower and strength makes you want to stay till the end just to find out what happens.

Who would love this book?: People who like history, people who are interested in American history & the frontier, people who are interested in survival during hardship stories, people who like strong heroines, people who enjoy strong female characters, people who like learning

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FICTION

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The Enlightenment of Bees - Rachel Linden

Brief Summary: Mia West, an apprentice baker, has her life planned out. Except she didn’t plan to lose her apprenticeship or her fiance. Not quite knowing what else to do, Mia goes on a humanitarian trip with her friend and roommate Rosie. She sees the world in a new way, and starts to understand that sometimes the small things - the things we love - can have a big impact in the world. Oh, and a little romance, of course.

Why it’s a good pick: This book is a delight. It’s light and positive, but it has the depth to question what we really want in life through Mia’s journey around the world. On the surface it may seem like a simple romance, or a journey to self-discovery. To an extent it is both of those things. But it’s also about the world - how we see it and how we learn from it. Completely unexpected and fun. 

Who would love this book?: People who like travel, people who like baking, people who like romance, people who like humanitarian work, people who like unexpected twists, people who love to fall into a good book, people who like learning about the world, people who like thinking about and changing their perspective

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The Night Circus - Erin Morgenstern

Brief Summary: Marco & Celia: marked as magical competitors from an early age, but never saw each other until adulthood. A black and white circus that only opens at night, and moves around at will, appearing as suddenly as it disappears. A challenge - the “game” - that can only be won by a single competitor...or can it?

Why it’s a good pick: This book has a little bit of everything: mystery, intrigue, romance, magic, and a fascinating magical circus! Morgenstern has a talent for words, and this book will draw anyone in who loves a little bit of a mystery. Morgenstern creates a magical world that we’d all like to live in - not too outlandish, but interesting enough to keep us wanting to know more. 

Who would love this book?: People who like magic, people who like mystery, people who like intrigue, people who like romance, people who like games & challenges on an epic scale, people who like books, people who like magical worlds

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Peyton Place - Grace Metalious

Brief Summary: Peyton Place is the story of Allison MacKenzie - a small town New Hampshire girl that longs to be a writer. Because of the small town culture, expectations, and her own mother, Constance MacKenzie, she finds herself stifled. 

Why it’s a good pick: Throughout the novel, Metalious writes of things heretofore unheard of - illicit sex, drunkenness, incest, secret lives, and more - that happen in small towns everywhere. But when it was published in 1956, people just didn’t talk about those things. It was a mega-hit, becoming a TV series and film. Suffice it to say, it’s juicy!

Who would love this book?: People who like reality television, people who love drama, people who are interested in the goings on in their town or city, people who like rebellious women, people who are interested in knowing more about small towns or are from a small town, people who like scandal, people who have heard of the book and/or TV series & movie, people who like tabloid magazine

Note: There is a lot of mature content, so this book definitely isn’t for young readers.

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The Look of Love - Sarah Jio

Brief Summary: Jane Williams is a florist, and on an average day, feels like her life is pretty boring. It’s just her and her dog Sam. But what Jane doesn’t know is that the mysterious “eye problem” she’s had since she was a little girl is actually a gift - the gift of being able to see love in all its various forms. When she turns 29, a mysterious stranger sends her on a life-changing adventure that she must complete before her 30th birthday. Will she be able to find true love for herself - before it’s too late?

Why it’s a good pick: This book is just plain fun. Whether you’re a hopeless romantic or not (I’m not and I still loved the book), the way Jio weaves the story is enchanting. It’s a completely different look at love as we know it. 

Who would love this book?: People who like romance, people who like happy endings, people who like falling into a good book, people who want to read but who want it to feel easy, people who live in the Seattle area, people who like a little mystery but not too much, people who love love

Buy It Here

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JOURNALS

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Affirm Your Life - Becca Anderson

Brief Summary: The full title of this book is Affirm Your Life: Your Affirmations Journal for Purpose & Personal Effectiveness. This cute little journal is literally about bringing positivity to your life. It’s based on Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, and has areas where you can do some soul-searching and personal development. 

Why it’s a good pick: First of all, this book is pretty! Like, physically pretty in the way it’s designed. It’s also not overwhelmingly large. At just over 150 pages, it is something that can easily be carried and filled in without feeling like you have a brick in your bag. It’s awesomely positive, and teaches strategies you can keep using while still feeling good about it. 

Who would love this book?: Writers, small business owners, creatives, artists, people who like writing, people who like journaling, people who like and/or are working on personal development, people who enjoy introspection, people interested in self-growth

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The  Checklist Book - Alexandra Franzen

Brief Summary: This handy book isn’t just full of lists for you to fill in - it actually teaches you how to make effective lists to organize your life! Even if you’re someone who already uses a lot of lists, Franzen provides interesting facts & history about checklists, as well as the how-to aspect. Did you know there’s actually science about checklists? I didn’t! But Franzen did, thank goodness.

Why it’s a good pick: As someone who is probably unusually organized in most ways, it just makes sense to me that anyone would want to read more about lists. Then I think, not everyone is quite as obsessed as I am. Hah! This is still a good pick because it’s fun and useful - and unlike a true “journal,” it’s part book, part activity, and all around helpful.

Who would love this book?: People who like lists, people who thrive off of achieving, people who are super organized, people who aren’t very organized, people who are interested in organization, people who like learning, people who are overwhelmed or have large to-do lists

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You Should be Writing - Brenda Knight & Nita Sweeney

Brief Summary: The full title of this book is: You Should be Writing: A Journal of Inspiration & Instruction to Keep Your Pen Moving. This journal has plenty of space and inspiration to get your creativity kick started. And a few tips & tricks, of course.

Why it’s a good pick: If you’ve been around many writers, you’ve probably heard the term “I should be writing” or seen a prominent post-it note or meme that says, “You should be writing.” Actually, starting & keeping a writing routine is the hardest thing for many writers! So this book is a great and thoughtful way to help someone out.

Who would love this book?: Writers, journalers, creatives, people who like writing, people who like creating but are stuck

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Overcoming Creative Anxiety - Karen C.L. Anderson

Brief Summary: The full title of this book is: Overcoming Creative Anxiety: Journal Prompts & Practices for Disarming Your Inner Critic & Allowing Creativity to Flow. This journal takes a deep dive into the inner critic & how you can change the way you interact with it. 

Why it’s a good pick: Everyone’s got an inner critic! Some of us are good at controlling it, but it’s hard, especially, it seems, for creatives and writers. I’ve written about it before, but this journal goes even deeper into how it makes you feel, the ways you can talk to it, and how to strengthen what Anderson calls your inner advocate. Very uplifting! 

Who would love this book?: Writers, creatives, artists, people who want to create more but are afraid, people who struggle with a mean inner critic, people who like journaling, people who like writing, people who want to do some personal growth & development

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The 52 Lists Project - Moorea Seal

Brief Summary: This fun journal gives a journal prompt/list for each week of the year. It’s broken down into the 4 seasons, and each season has prompts relevant to the time of year. For instance, the first list of the journal is “List your goals and dreams for this year.”

Why it’s a good pick: A journal can be a really thoughtful gift, especially for the people in your life you know enjoy writing or sharing their feelings. The major perk of this journal is that it already has areas for each week of the year, so there’s less pressure to do it “correctly” or fill it in however you like. You simply open it up and it’s ready to go!
Who would love this book?: Writers, artists, creatives, anyone who likes to journal, anyone who likes lists, anyone who is introspective, anyone who is working on personal development

Buy It Here

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NEXT STEPS

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1. Look at the books for potential gift ideas - Don’t be shy! Check out Amazon, go to your local library and read a little of it. See how you feel about it before you decide. 

2. Figure out what your Secret Santa is interested in - Before you pick something, make sure to think about what your Secret Santa will like. If they’re not a writer, they may not want a journal that shows them how to overcome creative anxiety. Or if they like reading lighter books that they don’t want to think too much about, a heavier memoir or non-fiction book might not be the best pick. 

3. Buy the book(s) & get ahead of the game! - Use the links above or Google where you can pick up a copy of the book. You’ll be done before you even started thinking about it last year!

My challenge to you is to start thinking about what the people in your life like to read or learn about now instead of a month or 6 weeks from now. 

Given a Secret Santa book before? How’d it go? Did I miss a “must have”?  I’d love to hear from you! Find me on social media, drop a comment below, or email me at rachel@capturingyourconfidence.com!

Let’s chat because you, my friend, are on your way to great gift giving.