4 Easy Steps to Effective Collaborative Writing

We often think of writing as a solitary activity, and many times that’s true. But, there are some times when collaborating with others is very beneficial. In fact, there are many instances where writers work together to create a project. 

This blog was collaboratively written by my best friend and writer, Courtney Conley, and I. 

This blog, for instance, was collaboratively written by my best friend and writer, Courtney Conley and I. 

Some of the most common types of collaborative writing we regularly see include: 

Anthologies

Books of essays

Books of poetry

Academic books

Blogs

Online articles 

What Is Collaborative Writing

What is Collaborative Writing? 

Collaborative writing is writing involving one or more people working on a project together either at the same time or as a shared responsibility. 

Collaborative writing can happen in several ways: 

Simultaneously, as you can do with Google Docs, where multiple people are actively writing and editing at the same time. We wrote this blog with Google Docs in this way!

In Sections, where one person writes about something and the other person writes something else, and it is later blended together. 

With Edits, where one person writes the majority of the content, and the other person goes back through what’s already written and adds their own content and changes the wording. 

It’s really up to the writers to determine what works best!

It’s really up to the writers to determine what works best! Some people do great being more conversational and working at the same time, but some people need time to process and figure out how their ideas fit with the other person. 

If collaborative writing is when multiple people work together on a project, the bigger question is why? 

Goals of Collaborative Writing

What are the Goals of Collaborative Writing?

If you’ve ever been part of a writing project with other people, you might already know that collaboration is not always easy! Much like other types of teamwork, there can be problems with responsibility and ownership. 

BUT

When collaborative writing is successful, it lessens the workload for all individuals. Logically, if you have 2 people working on a 50 page writing project, that will round out to about 25 pages per person instead of the entire 50. That’s half the “polished” writing you have to produce if you’re working with a trusted collaborator.

Our body of thought can be strengthened and diversified when we work with others. 

Successful collaboration also has the benefit of having more than one brain thinking about a problem, solution, or creation. What a powerful tool! 

Even the most similar among us have different perspectives and ideas. This means our body of thought can be strengthened and diversified when we work with others. There’s also much less chance of accidentally skipping things when you have others looking at the project, too.

Unless you’re in academia, you probably don’t just wake up thinking about collaborative writing projects. Most people outside of the university generally think of writing as something you do on your own. 

So why, then, would a “regular” writer want to collaborate on something? 

Reasons for Writing Collaboration

Probably the most common reason a writer would want to collaborate is to work with an expert. It’s almost always helpful to have an experienced mentor, especially in a field like writing where there are so many different ways one could go. 

The expert can then also add extra information to the project you didn’t even think about, or know to ask! 

Collaborating can also help writers gain experience with others in the field. This is especially true if you are working with experts and mentors because they can then show you the ropes. 

The old saying “You don’t know what you don’t know” is definitely true - you can’t possibly know everything, especially when you’re first starting out!

The old saying “You don’t know what you don’t know” is definitely true - you can’t possibly know everything, especially when you’re first starting out! Having others work with you can help you hone the talents you have and grow new ones.

Teaching can also be another major point of collaboration. Many teachers, especially in the college classroom, teach collaboratively, with skills or entry level English classes. We even had co-professors in graduate classes. Much of teaching is based on collaborative learning and helping each other - writing included. 

Perks of Writing Collaboration

Perks of Writing Collaboration

There are a lot of perks that come with collaborative writing!

Writing collaboratively gives you the opportunity to hear different perspectives on your topic. This can be very helpful, and most of the time, writing can benefit from having more than one set of ideas and worldviews. After all, our audiences bring their own thoughts and ideas to whatever they read - having a variety of voices in the writing itself makes it stronger. 

More than one writer means sharing the workload!

More than one writer means sharing the workload! Collaborative writing is a great way to split up a large project and work more efficiently. Writing projects can be daunting. Having someone else there to share the work with can be a relief. Plus, there’s someone to commiserate with when you’re stuck or dealing with writer’s block.

We’re all guilty of getting stuck in our routines at one point or another. Do you procrastinate? Do you only write if someone is asking you to? Writing with one or more people can help us break out of our comfort zone and write in different contexts. Maybe you’ll even pick up a new idea or two from your writing partner(s)! 

Struggles with Collaborative Writing

Struggles with Collaborative Writing

Although there are undoubtedly perks, there will always be struggle when it comes to working with other people. 

We all have busy lives. Probably the biggest complaint or struggle with collaborative projects is having time. It can be really difficult to make time to work on a writing project with other people, especially if you don’t live in the same place or time zone. It can also be difficult to keep everyone on track once you get the project started. The more people there are, the more complicated scheduling gets.

The hard part about having different voices in a writing project is that it can be tricky to merge the voices of different writers into one cohesive voice.

The hard part about having different voices in a writing project is that it can be tricky to merge the voices of different writers into one cohesive voice. Writers often have different styles, as well. Maybe you love the Oxford comma (go team!), but your partner hates it. It won’t matter for some projects if it sounds like multiple writers worked on it, but in other contexts, it’s important to create one writing voice. 

The nature of collaborative writing often means one writer is doing more of the work than other(s). It can be hard to split up the work in a way everyone is comfortable with. If you’ve been in a collaboration before, you might have felt the sting of either doing too much or feeling like you’re not really able to do enough. Some writers naturally take the lead on projects, while others are happy to do their share of the work and nothing more. This can lead to conflict in relationships if one person feels like the workload balance is unfair. 

How to Do Collaborative Writing

How to Do Collaborative Writing

At this point you might be thinking that this all sounds great, but how the heck do you accomplish it?

Good question!

There are a few steps for effective collaboration that you should take (although if you find a more efficient way - go for it!): 

Step 1: Decide the Parameters of Your Project

A brainstorming meeting at the beginning of the writing process can be very helpful to ensure everyone is on the same page, understands, and agrees on the goals of the project. 

You should clarify things like: 

How many words do you want your writing project to be? 

Who is your audience? 

How many references do you want to include? 

Once you have had that conversation and answered any questions, you are ready to move forward!

Step 2: Distribute the Work

Knowing who is in charge of each role in the project up front will help keep everyone on track and minimize conflict. We like to create an outline first and then decide together who will write which section. 

Knowing who is in charge of each role in the project up front will help keep everyone on track and minimize conflict.

Another way to distribute the work is to write simultaneously. One person can do the typing while others share ideas. Talk with your writing collaborator(s) to figure out what works best for your project. 

Step 3: Set Deadlines

What we have seen cause the most tension in collaborative writing projects is the idea of a deadline. Once you know who is doing the work, and how it’s getting done, it’s important to decide on a deadline and stick to it! 

Depending on the scope of your project, it will probably be helpful to have regular check-in meetings where everyone gives an update on their progress. Make sure to give yourselves enough time to proofread and revise. Remember, you’re blending multiple voices, so you will need to leave time to smooth everything over to sound cohesive. 

Step 4: Do the Writing!

You’ve laid the prep work, decided your roles & deadlines, and now it’s time to get down to the hard, messy work of writing. Be mindful of your deadlines as you progress - you don’t want to be the collaborator that stalls the project with your procrastination. 

Be mindful of your deadlines as you progress. 

Collaborative Writing Tools

What Tools Can I Use to Write Collaboratively?  

We hope, by now, you’re getting at least a little excited about exploring collaborative writing projects. We love working together - we even won an award for our collaborative writing during grad school! 

Courtney Conley (left) & I received our collaborative writing award in Spring 2017!

If you are ready to embark on this kind of project, there are several handy tools you can consider adding to your toolbox:

Google Docs

Google docs is an incredible collaborative writing tool! In fact, we like it so much that we used it to write this blog. 

Google docs allows multiple writers to work and edit one document simultaneously. So, for instance, if you have two writers working on a project, both can be writing different parts of the document at the same time. The interesting part is that you can see the other person’s work appear in real time, and they can see yours. 

You can write on your smartphone, tablet, or computer, AND it automatically saves anytime there is a change on the document.

Google docs allow for multiple documents, so you can easily access your writing from anywhere, as long as you can access the internet. 

You can write on your smartphone, tablet, or computer, AND it automatically saves anytime there is a change on the document. This is a special bonus for those of us who sometimes forget to save when we’ve been working on something for an extended period of time. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I0OqnItA-zA

Introduction to Google Docs

Microsoft OneNote

Microsoft OneNote is also a great collaborative tool because it acts like a digital notebook. I’ve used it professionally and for my own writing. I wrote a whole blog about it here!

Essentially, OneNote allows you to do anything you would do in a regular notebook, with the added benefit of being able to use word processing like highlighting, underlining, etc. It’s pretty intuitive if you’ve used the popular Microsoft Word program, but better because you can align your thoughts more visually. 

Microsoft OneNote allows you to collaborate in real time like you can in Google docs. 

You can also send your thoughts to others for collaboration and collaborate in real time like you can in Google docs. 

OneNote is typically included in most packages of Microsoft products and on Windows 10 computers you might buy, so if you use Word, search for it and you will probably find you already have it!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hjnQ937cg8g

Introduction to Microsoft OneNote

Trello

Trello is a brand new tool for me, although I’ve heard people talk about it many times before I decided to try it. Can I just say, what a life changer for those of us who love lists? AND for those of us who collaborate? 

Sample of Trello Organization for Collaborative Blog Writing! It's incredibly flexible to use with a team, but since there were just 2 of us, we didn't feel the need to assign the roles.

Trello is a free application you can use online or download and use on your desktop. You can have boards with upcoming tasks, set due dates, and assign tasks to people, including yourself! 

The reason Trello is such a good tool for writing collaboration isn’t the fact that you can write whole paragraphs there. You could, but it probably wouldn’t be visually appealing to work with. Trello is awesome because all the people you’re working with can see and access the same to do lists, due dates, and assign/be assigned tasks. Everyone is on the same page with to-do tasks, literally!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xky48zyL9iA

Introduction to Trello

Have you written something collaboratively before? How did it go? What tools did you use? We’d love to hear about it! Drop a comment below or email me at rachel@capturingyourconfidence.com and let me know!

My Writing Inspiration: Now and Then

In honor of my birthday today, and almost a WHOLE YEAR of content (how has it been a year already?!) I wanted to share a special blog about my writing inspiration. Things are a lot different now than they were years ago, and I find it helpful to always be self-reflecting. Hence the now and then! 

I talk a lot about writing , and I do my very best to inspire you all to try to be the best and truest version of you. And I do truly believe in you all! But sometimes it’s helpful along our journey to have a peek behind other people’s priorities and growth. 

Sometimes it’s helpful along our journey to have a peek behind other people’s priorities and growth. 

After all, if you know my story, you know that I was scared to write for years after one rather unpleasant, but ultimately small experience. 

What I’ve compiled for you today are my top 5 sources of writing inspiration now, and then, when I was a young writer. As cathartic and reflective as this is for me, I hope it is helpful not only to see that our priorities change as we grow, but also to acknowledge that our journey and our “why” is unique to each of us. 

Writing Inspiration Starter Pack

Now 

Like many writers, I’m not always “inspired” in the way of having too many ideas. There are days where it feels like I will never finishmy novel, but that is the time where I have to remind myself of my top writing inspiration to keep me moving forward. These inspirations or reasons are my “why” as a writer in the present. 

5. I’m Good at It

One of the reasons I write is because I’m good at it. This might sound like a cop out, or a brag moment, but truly it’s not meant to be either. Words are a very natural thing for me, and I express myself much better in writing (I think) than I do when I’m speaking. 

Words are a very natural thing for me, and I express myself much better in writing

I’ve been known to do some word wizardry for people on occasion, and it’s honestly fun for me because it’s something I know that even if I’m terrible at everything else, I’m good at words. So, it provides a boost for me when I know for sure I can accomplish things with words. 

4. I Love It

Related probably to the fact that I have a talent for writing is that I love it. I love everything about writing. I like how it makes me feel, how it can make others feel, and the real impact it can have on the world. 

Words have the power to create emotion, inspire action, and express the deepest sentiments of our souls that no other medium quite has the same ability to do. It’s flexible, it’s powerful, and I love how different everyone can use writing.

3. Pass on My Passion

Because I love words and writing so much, and I am confident in my abilities, I write to share my passion with others who love writing - and those who don’t! This is one reason I like teaching college English, too. 

So, I write to pass my passion on in hopes of giving people a good experience with writing.

Many times people don’t like writing because of prior experiences, which I totally get. I’ve heard some pretty bad stories about English classes (and teachers) that are very cringe-worthy. But the fact of the matter is that we need writing, and it will always be around us. 

So, I write to pass my passion on in hopes of giving people a good experience with writing. I’ve found that the best teachers and the most interesting people I’ve met are sharing their passions with the world, so I wanted to do my best to join those coveted ranks. 

2. To Help Others

The one thing that’s been a constant for me as I’ve grown up and tried to figure out what career path I want to be on is this: I want to help people. I’ve always wanted to help others. 

So it makes a lot of sense that I would use my passion and talent for writing to do what I’ve always wanted to do with helping others. While I’m still figuring out the logistics, I have a pretty good idea of where I would like to be helping others in the long run. I am a teacher by training, after all, and I love teaching about writing! But I also want to help others with confidence, which is something I’ve struggled with most of my life. 

1. Because It’s My Calling

The number one reason I am inspired to write is because it is what I have been called to do. You know when you hear people talking about music or art as if something inside (or occasionally, above) is telling them this is what they are meant to be doing? Or that something just “feels right” but they can’t always tell you the exact why? 

Writing is what I do, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. 

This is how I feel about writing, and how it feels in my life. I can’t imagine doing something else, aside from working in education (in a related capacity). Writing is what I do, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. 

Writing Inspiration Now and Then

Words and writing were important to me at every level! Here we see a collection from 1st grade all the way to high school.

Then

It’s interesting what we think when we’re young and how that changes and adapts as we grow. My reasons and inspirations for writing have changed through the years (for the better, I think) and it’s fun to think about myself as a young writer. As you read through these “then” writing inspirations, think about how your own inspiration has changed as a writer - or even as a teacher or person in general! You might find you surprise yourself.

5. I Had No Concept of Failure

You hear about those kids and teenagers who only hear positive comments for their lives and then get to college and have their first taste of criticism, right? That was me. 

Part of what inspired me to keep going was because I had an incredibly supportive family and teachers who lifted me up.

Part of what inspired me to keep going was because I had an incredibly supportive family and teachers who lifted me up. I excelled at writing in school, and I wrote like a fanatic outside of school - and people loved reading my writing. I always got compliments, and rarely (if at all) got constructive criticism of things to fix, so I literally had no concept that I would ever fail as a writer. 

Writing Inspiration Now and Then

Creating stories since childhood! With hand drawn illustrations.

Who doesn’t want to keep doing the thing people love that they consistently get compliments on? 

While I don’t have any doubts about my imperfection now, I have since received some constructive feedback on my writing. Failure is an event, not a state of being, but it took a long time to figure that out. 

4. I Was Bursting with Creativity & Ideas

When I was younger I always had multiple ideas rolling around in my head. I was a pro at making up stories and characters off the cuff. I think part of this is because I used to play this game with my mom and grandma when I was very young where they would make up one part of a story and I would do the next. 

So where were all those ideas supposed to go if they were just rolling around? Onto the paper, of course! I wrote short stories, novels, and even fanfiction (Fruits Basket fanfiction, to be exact). However I could messily get all those thoughts out with a pen and a trusty lined wide-ruled notebook was the way I worked this out. 

I wish I could say I’m bursting with creativity now, but alas, I am much more focused these days. I do have many ideas, but I have been working to weave them all into my current novel so that it can be the best work I’ve done to date.

3. I Wanted Others to Read My Words

Some kids want to be famous athletes or musicians. I didn’t want to be famous, per se, but I did want a lot of people to read my words. I didn’t want the fame in terms of paparazzi, even when I was a kid, but I always thought it would be cool to be a household name. 

I thought that out of all the ideas I had, surely one of them could inspire people like Harry Potter.

As Harry Potter was coming out, I found myself striving to be a next generation JK Rowling. I thought that out of all the ideas I had, surely one of them could inspire people like Harry Potter.

It’s funny because people do read my words now! So, young me would be excited about that. I think to a certain extent all writers want to be heard - it’s just that now I have a more direct approach to get my passion to others. I don’t want to be the next JK Rowling because I want to be the first and only me. And what I want for that me is to help others and to pass on my passion to others. 

2. My Friends Loved It

This probably goes along with never getting criticism, but my friends loved to read my stories. In fact, during the fanfiction phase, we all traded! We even wrote some of it together - a true bond of friendship is sharing your writing, I think. 

They were always interested in what I had to say, so this kept me going back for more! I think many kids, especially teenagers, feel this way, and it still kind of makes me giggle, really. Everyone wants to “fit in” with someone, whether that’s a way to become popular, or to create a bond with similar people. I found those people and boy did we write! 

For the record, I only have one friend I share my writing with these days, at least for now while my novel is a work in progress. The older I get the more I realize how much I thrived on acceptance from other people. While I do like being accepted (who doesn’t?), it’s not a main priority because I have realized that not everyone will like me and my writing - and that’s okay! 

1. I Loved It & It Was Fun

Some things never change, right? I have always loved writing, both the act and the final product. Writing gave me a sense of strength, and it was a way to express myself when it felt like no one else was listening (or got tired of listening because I talked A LOT). 

Writing doesn’t judge you, sass you, or just generally hurt you like people can, so it was a release of angst and emotion, as well as a creative outlet for the swarm of ideas that was constantly hanging around my mind. There was nothing quite like a new pen and a fresh notebook to get the gears turning.

This is still in my list of top writing inspirations, and I think it’s pretty clear that it resonates throughout the other “why” factors, too. Some people love sports or shoes. I love writing (and shoes? We’re allowed to love more than one thing). 

All this to say that my inspiration has changed as I have changed.

All this to say that my inspiration has changed as I have changed. I don’t have the same friends who love my writing - I have new ones. I don’t have the same expectation of being a household name as long as I can help those who really need it. My priorities now are about teaching and growing confidence, which I don’t know that  I ever considered when I was younger. 

I can’t wait to see how I grow as more years pass! One thing is certain, though. I will be here, writing, teaching, and building the confidence of everyone I meet because that’s what I’m called to do. 

What are your writing inspirations? Have they changed from when you were younger? I’d love to hear about them! Drop a comment below or email me at rachel@capturingyourconfidence.com - let’s chat!

50 Inspirational Quotes for Teachers

In light of school being moved to e-learning for the remainder of the year at all levels, I wanted to put together a list of inspirational quotes for teachers. 

Our teachers, those who teach kids, teens, and adults, are struggling. It’s such a hard pivot to turn face-to-face classes into online classes. Not only is it a lot of up front work and preparation, but for many it’s something they’ve never done before. Nevermind other worries like whether students have access to the resources they need to succeed in their home environments. Things like computers, the internet, or even enough to eat. 

We worry about our students, and right now a lot of teachers feel like they can’t be there for their students - not in the way they usually are.

Even at the college level, we sometimes don’t realize the impact we can have on our students, not just in their learning, but in their personal and professional growth. I’ve had students, and many of you probably have too, who learn far more in my classes than what I can teach them. 

This is what teachers are missing, and what students are missing, too. Teachers are some of the best and brightest resources we have, and we need to remember that as they are doing their best in this time, they should be treasured. 

Sometimes the best thing we can do for others is share inspiring words and lift them up in the small ways we have available.

So this week, for all educators, but especially my fellow college English teachers, I have gathered 50 of my favorite inspirational quotes for teachers. 

They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel.

Carl W. Buehner

Teaching is the greatest act of optimism.

Colleen Wilcox

The dream begins, most of the time,with a teacher who believes in you, who tugs and pushes and leads you on to the next plateau sometimes poking you with a sharp stick called truth.

Dan Rather

What sculpture is to a block of marble, education is to the soul.

Joseph Addison

Teaching is the profession that teaches all other professions.

Unknown

A master can tell you what he expects of you. A teacher, though, awakens your own expectations.

Patricia Neal

The art of teaching is the art of assisting discovery.

Mark Van Doren

A good teacher is like a candle: it consumes itself to light the way for others.

Mustafa Kemal Atatürk 

Children need to be taught how to think, not what to think.

Margaret Mead

Nine tenths of education is encouragement.

Anatole France

Teachers have three loves: love of learning, love of learners, and the love of bringing the first two loves together.

Scott Hayden

Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.

Nelson Mandela

Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths pure theatre.

Gail Godwin

To teach is to learn twice over.

Joseph Joubert

Teachers can change lives with just the right mix of chalk and challenges.

Joyce Meyer

Everyone who remembers his own education remembers teachers, not methods and techniques. The teacher is the heart of the educational system.

Sidney Hook

If you have to put someone on a pedestal, put teachers. They are society's heroes.

Guy Kawasaki

Teachers believe they have a gift for giving; it drives them with the same irrepressible drive that drives others to create a work of art or a market or a building.

A. Bartlett Giamatti

I am not a teacher, but an awakener.

Robert Frost

One child, one teacher, one book, one pen can change the world.

Malala Yousafzai

I never teach my pupils, I only attempt to provide the conditions in which they can learn.

Albert Einstein

What we learn with pleasure we never forget.

Alfred Mercier

The important thing is not so much that every child should be taught, as that every child should be given the wish to learn.

John Lubbock

What you teach today may someday light the world.

L.W. Fox

The beautiful thing about learning is nobody can take it away from you.

B.B. King

Educating the mind without educating the heart is no education at all.

Aristotle

I entered the classroom with the conviction that it was crucial for me and every other student to be an active participant, not a passive consumer...education as the practice of freedom.... education that connects the will to know with the will to become. Learning is a place where paradise can be created.

bell hooks

In learning you will teach, and in teaching you will learn.

Phil Collins

How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.

Anne Frank

The most important part of teaching is to teach what it is to know.

Simone Weil

Education is the passport to the future, for tomorrow belongs to those who prepare for it today.

Malcolm X

We can't help everyone, but everyone can help someone.

Ronald Reagan

The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you'll go.

Dr. Seuss

The teacher’s task is to initiate the learning process and then get out of the way.

John Warren

Good teaching is more a giving of right questions than a giving of right answers.

Josef Albers

Education is not to reform students or amuse them or to make them expert technicians. It is to unsettle their minds, widen their horizons, inflame their intellects, teach them to think straight, if possible.

Robert Hutchins

Teachers are expected to reach unattainable goals with inadequate tools. The miracle is that at times they accomplish this impossible task.

Haim Ginott

Teaching is truth mediated by personality.

Phyllis Brooks

When the untapped potential of a student meets the liberating art of a teacher, a miracle unfolds.

Mary Hatwood Futrell

There is no failure.  Only feedback.

Robert Allen

I have come to believe that a great teacher is a great artist and that there are as few as there are any other great artists. Teaching might even the greatest of the arts since the medium is the human mind and spirit.

John Steinbeck

Teachers, I believe, are the most responsible and important members of society because their professional efforts affect the fate of the earth.

Helen Caldicott

I cannot emphasize enough the importance of a good teacher.

Temple Grandin

In a completely rational society, the best of us would be teachers and the rest of us would have to settle for something else.

Lee Iacocca

Of all the hard jobs around, one of the hardest is being a good teacher.

Maggie Gallagher

If you are planning for a year, sow rice; if you are planning for a decade, plant trees; if you are planning for a lifetime, educate people.

Chinese Proverb

If a child can’t learn the way we teach, maybe we should teach the way they learn.

Ignacio Estrada

Learning is not a spectator sport.

D. Blocher

At the desk where I sit, I have learned one great truth. The answer for all our national problems — the answer for all the problems of the world — comes to a single word. That word is education.

Lyndon B. Johnson

I cannot teach anybody anything, I can only make them think.

Socrates

These are some of my favorite quotes about teachers and education - did I miss any great ones? Drop a comment below or email me at rachel@capturingyourconfidence.com and let me know!

How to Know Your Audience

With so many people at home due to the pandemic, it’s a great time to write. I’ve seen a definite uptick in articles about how to start a blog and how to make money online. 

But if you’re a writer who wants to get your ideas out into the big wide world, you need to know your audience! 

Audience

What is an Audience? 

Before we talk about how to know your audience, let’s talk about what an audience actually is. 

An audience is, “a number of people or a particular group of people who watch, read, or listen to the same thing” (Oxford Learner’s Dictionary). 

When we think about writing, an audience is made up of people who are interested in a specific topic or idea, and read about it.

When we think about writing, an audience is made up of people who are interested in a specific topic or idea, and read about it. They are people who care about what you are writing because it means something to them. They are also sometimes the people who can make changes based on your ideas.

For instance, if you want to write about laws in your community, some members of your audience might be lawyers or police men and women. 

Why is it important to know who your audience is?

It might seem like you want to write to everyone - after all, your ideas are important! Right? 

The problem with writing to everyone is that it can make your writing bland.

The problem with writing to everyone is that it can make your writing bland. Similar to wanting everyone to like you (which just isn’t possible), if you try to reach every person with your writing, it’s going to be more vague, and therefore less useful. You will actually end up getting less of an audience, and we don’t want that! 

Audience

Knowing your audience gives you some major advantages: 

Informs Your Writing Having a specific audience allows you to narrow down your many ideas to those that are most relevant. It really helps you figure out what to write about because your audience is made up of people who are interested in similar things. 

Hopefully, when all is said and done, your writing is the similar thing they will be reading! Keeping this thought in the back of your mind helps you to be persuasive and concrete with your words.

Gives you a Focused Purpose When you have a specific audience, you can really hone in on what they want and need. Why should they come to you for information, entertainment, advice, etc.?  Why will they want to keep coming back for more?

You don’t have to worry about whether your words are relevant because you’ve already chosen people who have a vested interest in your topics.

You don’t have to worry about whether your words are relevant because you’ve already chosen people who have a vested interest in your topics. That allows you to get down to the nitty gritty helpful details they are looking for rather than having to explain the basics over and over again.

Allows You to Meet Your Audience Where They’re At This is probably the most important part of knowing your audience: meeting them where they are with information. Have you ever read a book where there were so many big words you didn’t understand at all, even when you knew something about the topic? Or, perhaps, a book that was talking about something advanced with short choppy sentences that really belonged in an elementary school textbook? Probably - maybe even both! 

You don’t want to do either of those things to your readers. You want to anticipate where the general knowledge level will be and talk to them as such. In many ways it’s like a normal conversation. You don’t want to assume they don’t know anything, but you also don’t want to assume they’re experts - some are, but most aren’t!

It’s a delicate balance to figure out what will be helpful and refreshing to your readers in a way that’s not “dumbed down” or overbearing. You can only achieve this balance when you know your audience. 

Steps for knowing your audience

How do you figure out who your audience is? 

We’ve talked an awful lot about what an audience is, and why it’s important to have one in mind when you write, but how the heck do you figure out who YOUR audience is?!

Grab a notebook or a blank document and write or type your answers for each step, that way you will have notes for quick reference as you move through your writing journey. 

Follow these steps and you’ll be on your way! 

1. What do you want to say? 

The very first thing you need to do when figuring out who your audience should be is to think critically about what you want to say. 

Are you interested in promoting activism?

Do you want to connect to others with similar experiences? 

Are you interested in inspiring people?   

Think hard about your goals and decide what message you want to put into the world. This is not to say that you have to have an exact map of every piece of writing or blog you plan to do; on the contrary, by nature, writing must remain flexible. BUT, you should have an idea of what it is that your writing will express at the concept level. These are your global, big picture ideas.

2. Why are you saying your message?

Once you figure out what you want to say, you need to think about why you’re saying it.

Consider:

Why do you want to start writing?

Why do you want to start writing? No matter what your topic is, there is a reason you wanted to write, right? Most people don’t just pick up a difficult and largely isolated hobby like writing if they don’t have a “why.” So what’s your why? 

Once you figure out your personal writing "why," figure out what goal you are trying to achieve with your message.

Do you want to educate? 

Do you want your audience to take action on something? 

Do you want your audience to buy something? 

Do you just want to be heard by like-minded people? 

Remember, something sparked a little fire and excitement in you to get this whole writing thing started. Let’s take that idea and put it on paper and make it a concrete part of your journey. 

3. Who needs to hear your message?

You’ve figured out what you want to say, and why. That’s great! Now you need to figure out who exactly needs to hear your message. (This is why the “why” part is important). 

Who are the people who will be interested in your message?

Who are the stakeholders for your topics?

What kinds of characteristics does your topic appeal to in your audience?

Think back to our example about laws in your community. If you’re trying to effect change: 

Who will be interested? The citizens who are most affected by the law in question, right? Students studying law. Law enforcement officials who uphold the law. The attorneys and members of local government who made or are also trying to change the law.  

Probably not surprisingly, many of these interested parties are also stakeholders. These are people who are directly affected by the law, and who also have the ability to make changes: law enforcement, attorneys, and local government officials are all really important stakeholders because they have the power to make a difference on the issues.

Finally, what kinds of characteristics does your topic appeal to in the interested parties and stakeholders? Are you using logic with facts and evidence? Are you appealing to their compassionate human side? Are you making them think critically about the situation using interesting language and pertinent information?  

The people in your audience are interested, and more than likely, some of them are stakeholders who can make a difference and who are actively affected by your topics. 

4. How is your audience already talking about & searching for ideas similar to yours? 

First of all, stop and take a moment to look at the hard work you’ve done so far. Figuring out your audience is hard work! It’s not something that's natural for many people, so the fact that you have come so far is awesome. Nice work!

Moving right along. You’ve figured out what you want to say, why you’re saying it, and who needs to hear your message. The next step is to figure out how your audience, the one you identified in step three, is already talking about and looking for ideas that are related to what you want to say.

What are they saying on social media?

What are they typing into Pinterest?

What are they Googling? 

Where are they going to find ideas like yours?

Take some time and look around on social media. What Facebook groups are available to join? Are there hashtags or Twitter threads about your topic? What pins can you find when you look on Pinterest? 

Also do some research on keywords: those words and phrases your audience is typing in to search for your topics.

To get ideas for keywords, pretend you are a member of your audience and brainstorm how you would find information about your topic.

To get ideas for keywords, pretend you are a member of your audience and brainstorm how you would find information about your topic. What words would you use to search? How would you find information like what you’re writing? If you would be part of your ideal audience, make some notes about what you do search for when you look for these topics.

Some good free resources are Google Ads Keyword Planner & Keyword Tool. 

Remember, you’re joining an ongoing conversation, so you need to know what’s out there because your audience has already been thinking and talking about it. 

5. How will you get your message to your audience?

You’re almost there! You’re knowledgeable about your message and you know quite a bit about your audience. 

The next step in really knowing your audience is to figure out how you are going to get your message to your audience. This step is similar to finding where your audience is already talking because you want to go where they go!

Where is the most conversation happening about your topics?

Where do you enjoy communicating with others? 

How can you best get your message out to your audience? 

Once you know where the conversation is and where your audience is hanging out, you can decide where to put your message so they have prime time access to it. That could be: social media, a blog, Pinterest, Medium, YouTube, or wherever else you might find during your research. 

6. How will you talk to your audience? 

You’ve made it! You’re on the final step of knowing your audience. How do you feel? Pumped? Prepared? Excited? Maybe a little bit of everything. 

The final thing you need to do to know your audience is to figure out how to talk to them.

The final thing you need to do to know your audience is to figure out how to talk to them. These are the ways you reach out and how you express yourself. Your words, your expressions, and the way you want them to respond to your message.

Do you want to be casual and friendly in your writing? Maybe use colloquialisms to connect on a personal level?

Do you want to be direct and factual? Perhaps use facts and statistics to impress your audience on your knowledge level & establish credibility?

Do you want to be approachable and hands-on? Ready to jump in and help with anything your audience will ask?

The key to deciding how to talk to your audience is understanding how they will interact with your message. Think about the ways you want your audience to think and feel when they read your writing. Then, tailor your writing to fit these anticipated feelings. 

Congratulations! You know your audience and you are ready to get your important message out there into the world. 

If you aren’t quite ready yet, that’s okay, too! I have this pretty nifty Know Your Audience Guide that will walk you through the steps and give you room to think out loud on paper. Fill out the short form below to get your copy now!

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If, at any point, you need a sounding board or just a friendly face to talk to while you’re working through the guide, don’t hesitate to reach out via social media, the blog contact form, or email me at rachel@capturingyourconfidence.com.

I sincerely enjoy helping people do audience analysis, and it’s an important part of writing if you want to write really effective words and put them out there for the world to see.

Interview with an Author: Dr. Emily Ruth Rutter

Our March guest author here at Capturing Your Confidence is Dr. Emily Ruth Rutter.

Emily Ruth Rutter is an Assistant Professor of English and a Ball Brothers Honors College Faculty Fellow at Ball State University. She is the author of Invisible Ball of Dreams: Literary Representations of Baseball behind the Color Line (University Press of Mississippi, 2018) and The Blues Muse: Race, Gender, and Musical Celebrity in American Poetry (University of Alabama Press, 2018), as well as a co-editor of Revisiting the Elegy in the Black Lives Matter Era (Routledge, 2019).

Her numerous essays have been published in African American Review, Aethlon, and MELUS, among other journals. Her book chapter on African American women poets appears in A Cambridge History of Twentieth-Century American Women’s Poetry, and a book chapter on Amiri Baraka and sports is forthcoming in Some Other Blues: New Perspectives on Amiri Baraka (Ohio State UP, 2021).

Published author

We connected with Dr. Rutter about her writing & teaching experiences, and what advice she would give to aspiring authors.

Tell us about your writing journey. Have you always wanted to be a writer?

Yes, I think I have always wanted to be a writer, but I didn’t gain the confidence necessary to become one until graduate school.

Where did the idea for your edited collection, Revisiting the Elegy in the Black Lives Matter Era, develop from?

The late poet-scholar Tiffany Austin (may she rest in peace) and I had been discussing the raft of elegies mourning victims of police killings and other state-sanctioned murders. We had also been noticing that many of these poems invoking Trayvon Martin, Michael Brown, and Sandra Bland and so many others were not making the expected elegiac turn toward consolation but instead were using the poetic page as a tool of resistance to anti-black violence and ideologies. 

I published two books before..., but I can honestly say that this collection has been the most meaningful, both in that it has given us the opportunity to honor Tiffany and that it signifies my aspirations to work in community and solidarity in the struggle for black liberation.

Tiffany and I then began to conceive of Revisiting the Elegy in the Black Lives Matter Eraas a book that would interlace contemporary Black Lives Matter elegies with critical essays about elegiac writing. We issued a call for papers, received a lot of incredible critical abstracts and poems, and then signed a book contract with Routledge. Tiffany died very unexpectedly shortly thereafter, and two of the book’s poet-scholars, Sequoia Maner and darlene anita scott, signed on as co-editors. 

I published two books, The Blues Muse: Race, Gender, and Musical Celebrity in American Poetryand Invisible Ball of Dreams: Literary Representations of Baseball behind the Color Line, before Revisiting the Elegy in the Black Lives Matter Era, but I can honestly say that this collection has been the most meaningful, both in that it has given us the opportunity to honor Tiffany and that it signifies my aspirations to work in community and solidarity in the struggle for black liberation. If your readers are interested, they can purchase the book here and visit our website here.

How does the process of collaboration work between multiple editors? How does it differ from working on a piece of your own?

Working with multiple editors requires a dialogic model that I really appreciate. As much as I love writing, it can be a rather solitary activity. I find that the more my writing and ideas more generally are developed in communities the stronger and more meaningful they become.

What was your process for putting the collection together?

As I noted, Tiffany and I issued the initial call for papers and poems, and then Sequoia, darlene, and I worked with all of the poets and essayists to polish and arrange the pieces into what we hope will be a volume that resonates with people and reading groups both in and outside of the academe.

Describe your biggest writing obstacle and how you overcame it.

My writing obstacle is always sitting down and doing it. I try to set the bar really low when I sit down to write and then pleasantly surprise myself if I surpass my expectations.

How do you balance teaching and writing? Where, if any, do you see intersections between your work and your writing?

My teaching and writing work very reciprocally. I write about texts and ideas that I then share with my students, and their feedback likewise works itself back into the writing. Even the task of preparing to teach a text often engenders fresh insights. 

My teaching and writing work very reciprocally.

Moreover, since I teach writing, it’s helpful to be co-laboring with students, commiserating about the challenges but also sharing in the rewards of writing as a way of thinking and expanding our worldviews.

What is the part of the book (or process) you are most proud of?

I am proud that Revisiting the Elegy in the Black Lives Matter Era showcases a wide range of voices and that, unlike my previous academic books, this volume is approachable for non-academics. Also, Sequoia, darlene, and I have agreed to donate any book proceeds to the Movement for Black Lives.

Do you have plans for another book or additional published writing in the future?

I am in the process of completing my fourth book, Black Celebrity: Creative Recuperations of Postbellum, Pre-Harlem Renaissance Athletes and Artists, which examines the recent literary interest in the black athletes, theatrical performers, and musicians that gained fame during the crucial decades between the end of the Civil War and the launching of the Harlem Renaissance (1865-1919). 

In particular, I argue that contemporary novelists Caryl Phillips and Jeffery Renard Allen and poets Kevin Young, Frank X Walker, Adrian Matejka, and Tyehimba Jess: 1) use innovative formal strategies to recover multifaceted subjectivities in the face of racialized objectification and erasure; 2) engage with archival materials while evincing their biases and lacunae; 3) highlight their own modes of artistic excavation in order to remind readers of the human hands that shape all historical narratives; 4) draw parallels between the experiences of the first wave of black stars and their contemporary counterparts. 

I am in the process of completing my fourth book, Black Celebrity: Creative Recuperations of Postbellum, Pre-Harlem Renaissance Athletes and Artists

Creative recuperations, I conclude, both revise understandings of black celebrity history and make legible the through-lines between the postbellum, pre-Harlem Renaissance era and our own time.

 I also have a few articles and book chapters forthcoming and have plans for a future book project about representations of white allies in contemporary television and film, tentatively titled White Allies: Representations and Ruminations.

Do you write creatively, or would you ever consider doing creative writing? If so, how do you think that differs from your academic writing?

I dabble in poetry and creative nonfiction now and again. At this point, I’m still primarily focused on my academic writing projects.

What do you want the world to know about you as an author?

In The Fire Next Time, James Baldwin notes, “To accept one’s past—one’s history—is not the same thing as drowning in it. It is learning how to use it.” As a writer who is especially interested in the relationship between America’s sociopolitical and cultural past and present, I heed these words of wisdom. 

I attempt to face America’s often brutal past unflinchingly and then to consider how artists grapple with both the specter and the lessons of history. Moreover, I strive to recognize the limits of my knowledge and to be forthcoming about them. 

I attempt to face America’s often brutal past unflinchingly and then to consider how artists grapple with both the specter and the lessons of history.

Along these same lines, I see my writing as a series of possibilities for forging new bonds and elucidating fresh ways of knowing. Perhaps those aims are not always realized, but I’m deeply invested in the process and potential that writing offers us.  

What is the biggest piece of advice you would give to aspiring writers?

Every writer has to chart her/his/their own course, but I’ll pass along the practices that keep me focused and motivated.

First, cultivate a community of fellow writers with whom you can share your work and solicit feedback.

Second, attempt to marry your goals and values as a person with the aims of your writing. In short, integrate writing into the social and political fabric of your life.

Want to interact with the editors of this text? Check out their awesome event! Due to the COVID-19 pandemic, this event is rescheduled for Fall 2020. Stay tuned for updates as I get them!

Black Lives reading event

If you would like to purchase Dr. Rutter's book to use in your classroom, or just to read, you can find a copy here.

If you know an author, or of an author, you would love to read an interview with, email me at rachel@capturingyourconfidence.com!

13 Things to Do When You're Worried About Everything

Amidst the COVID-19 pandemic, there has been a lot of concern, panic, and outright fear. Some of this is because of the constant media coverage, some of it is because of continuous changes and regulations, but a lot of it is because of the unknown. 

In my lifetime, and my parents’ lifetimes, there has never been a situation quite like this one. The ongoing “joke,” if you will, is about the lack of toilet paper, but in reality there aren’t any bottles of soap or hand sanitizer to be found. The grocery store is like a wasteland, and at this point, we aren’t really sure when things will reach some sort of normal again. 

The grocery store is like a wasteland, and at this point, we aren’t really sure when things will reach some sort of normal again. 

I will be the first to say that I worry over just about everything. My anxiety is an everyday battle, and sometimes the toughest things are those that most people probably don’t even think twice about. So, it was a surprise to me that I’m not really worried about the pandemic. 

In fact, I have been oddly calm about the whole thing.  It’s really quite interesting. And, I’m not the only one! I was reading about this phenomenon a couple of days ago. If you struggle with anxiety, you might have noticed this, too! For some of us, it’s been an (unfortunate) break from the anxiety.

But for those of you who are not usually anxious, this pandemic might have you worried or scared. It might not make sense to you, because you may not even be thinking about the virus itself. It might be the social isolation or fear for loved ones. It could even be the sheer fact that we don’t know how big or bad this will get before it’s over. 

How manage anxiety

Whatever you’re worried about (do some soul searching), there are a few steps you can take to help yourself get through: 

STEP 1: Accept that You're Worried

If you deny that you’re worried about anything, even if you feel like it’s the smallest thing in the world, it will just keep growing. 

STEP 2: Think About Why You're Worried

This doesn’t mean to think about your anxious topic. It means you need to dig a little further into your mind and figure out the reason behind your worry.

STEP 3: Don't Dwell

As hard as it is, and as much as you might feel like it’s not working, you have to do your best not to dwell on the things that are making you anxious. 

IMPORTANT NOTE

If you begin experiencing physical side effects from anxiety, make sure to call your doctor. I am NOT a licensed doctor or therapist, just someone who regularly manages this kind of worry. 

From my own experience, different levels of anxiety can look and/or feel like: 

• Peeling at dry skin

• General restlessness and the urge to always be doing something, even when it’s logical to rest

• The urge to cry at things you would normally be able to handle

• Easily irritated and/or quick to react (when that’s out of the ordinary behavior)

• Twitching

• Migraine headaches

• Panic attacks

• Nausea

• Diarrhea

• An elephant sitting on your chest

• A feeling like you can’t breathe

Sometimes when anxiety gets physical it can be really scary. If you feel like you can’t manage on your own, get help. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that, and you might be saving yourself other nasty problems. 

Getting help does not mean you’re not strong, nor does it mean there’s anything wrong with you. It just means that you know, as a person, that you have reached the limit of what you can do for yourself. 

Getting help means that you know, as a person, that you have reached the limit of what you can do for yourself. 

The good news is that you can do this! You are a unique human being with unlimited potential, as cheesy as that sounds, and you are meant to do special things on this earth. While anxiety might pose short-term difficulties, it can’t stop it unless you let it. 

How manage anxiety

If you’re determined to prevail (and I hope you are!), here are some things you can do, even (especially?) when you are socially distancing yourself, to help yourself when you are worried about everything: 

Take a Social Media Break

Being so connected to everyone can be a blessing, but it also adds to your stress and anxiety! If you’re anxious, you should definitely plan to take a break from all forms of social media for at least one solid day. Even better if you can avoid it for a whole week or more. This is CRITICAL. It’s one of those situations you sometimes don’t even know how much you’re on social media until you stop using it.

Once you get past the initial urge to click the apps on your phone or type the name into the search bar on your internet browser, you will likely find that you are not only relieved, but don’t miss it nearly as much as you thought you would. 

Set a News Schedule

First, and this is a big first, be choosy about where you are getting your information from. This is an important rule of thumb in regular news, but especially during times like this where it seems like every person on the planet (qualified or not) has an opinion posted on the internet.

Inundating yourself 24/7 with information WILL overwhelm your anxiety, it’s just a matter of how quickly.. 

Second, once you have determined which news to read, DO NOT check it every 5 minutes for updates. Don’t even check it every hour. Select 2-3 times during the day where you will purposefully get updates on anything in the news and then only look at those sites during the allotted time. Beyond that TURN IT OFF. Inundating yourself 24/7 with information WILL overwhelm your anxiety, it’s just a matter of how quickly.. 

Abstain from Caffeine

Caffeine effects on anxiety

When my grandma died, someone very smart (maybe a university therapist?) clued me in to the fact that caffeine acts the same way on your body as anxiety. That year I dropped caffeine altogether, and it was the best decision I could have made under those circumstances. I can’t stress this enough: if you drink 3 cups of caffeine in the morning (I know, I know, coffee is amazing) and then continuously throughout the day, that DEFINITELY adds to your anxious feelings. If you can’t cut it altogether, at least cut back a little bit - it really is for your own benefit, I promise. 

Take a Walk

Getting some fresh air and time away from screens can do wonders not only for your anxiety, but for your health in general. When you’re walking, look at the houses and scenery around you.

Sometimes the things we drive by every day on our way to work are unique and interesting but we don’t take the time to notice. This will also give you a change of scenery and allow your brain to explore other things besides the inside of your house/office/etc. 

Set Up a Routine

One of the things about anxiety, as you might have noticed, is that it intensifies with the unknown. When there's no normalcy. So, what better way to help yourself be less anxious than to set up a daily routine, especially when you're at home 95% of the time? This could be as simple as waking up and getting ready for the day as you would on a normal work day. Or, it could be more elaborate with planned breaks throughout the day. I have two alarms on my phone - one mid-morning and one mid-afternoon - to remind me to stretch.

Creating a routine is helpful because it creates a sense of the known.

Creating a routine is helpful because it creates a sense of the known. You can make the choice to keep up your routine, and therefore you gain back some normal "expected" elements of your life.

Read a Book

As a lover of books, this is a go-to for me. Other readers out there can probably relate to the feeling of escaping into the world of a good book. If you’re not a reader, you can still benefit from an audio or ebook! I’m a firm believer that people don’t like reading based on their prior experiences and selecting the wrong books. If you need suggestions, email me at rachel@capturingyourconfidence.com and we will get you situated! I bet you I can find something that piques your interest. 

Play with a Pet

Dogs pictures

I don’t know about your pet, but my dog Charlie is just about the best little companion in the world. His furry, excited little body is always ready for a game of fetch, tug, or a no-judgement snack. He loves to join me on my walks, but he also loves to sleep next to me as I work. It’s a win-win. Playing with him takes me out of my own head when I’m anxious and forces me to focus on the funny things he’s doing. It also gives him much deserved attention! This would work with your pet, too! 

Not everyone has a pet, which is understandable, but you can still get in on the cuteness by watching realtime: kittens, puppies, sharks, and pretty much any animal you want to watch! Google “_____ cam” and find one for yourself! Explore.org has a great variety of live animal cams. 

Create Something

Thinking creatively and the act of creating something helps anxiety because rather than focusing on what we’re worried about, we’re focused on our creation. This could be a poem, a piece of art, a piece of music - whatever strikes you. Give yourself permission to just do something creative, even if it’s not perfect. Just because you create doesn’t mean you have to share it with others. It’s the act of creating itself that matters most. If you’re really stuck and can’t think of anything (been there!), try an adult coloring page. I also really love my Vizuarts craft. 

Give yourself permission to just do something creative, even if it’s not perfect.

Watch Your Favorite Movie

Growing up I always found myself watching the same movies over and over and over again. I’m a HUGE Disney fan, and I have seen almost all of them a thousand times (or so it seems). I’m sure it drove my family crazy, and my husband doesn’t enjoy it much now (although comparatively, I feel like I’ve really cut back).

In doing research about anxiety, though, and learning how to maintain my worry, I discovered that anxious people do tend to watch the same movies over and over because it becomes comforting. I know what will happen when I watch my favorite movies: that’s why I watch them! So, if you’re really worried, pop in an old favorite and soak in the fact that you know exactly what’s coming. 

Clean Something

Cleaning

This news probably shouldn’t have been such a shock, but it was for me. Clutter and messiness adds to anxiety. For me, when I see that our home is messy, I have trouble focusing on work and my creative projects because I feel the necessity of cleaning pressing down on me. Boo. No one wants to feel pressured by mess! So when you’re anxious, try cleaning something. Put away the laundry in the basket, do the dishes, vacuum the carpet - whatever it is that will get you off the couch and moving around.

You don’t have to clean the whole room, but even doing one “chore” will take your mind off of your worries and  change your mindset to think about being productive with your cleaning! If you hate cleaning, try setting a timer for yourself and doing one task until the timer goes off. We used to play this “cleaning game” growing up, and it works surprisingly well for both children and adults. 

Call a Friend

When you’re down, who’s going to be there to pick you up? Your friends, of course! During this time where we are socially distancing ourselves from each other, being isolated can be lonely and hard on the nerves. So, I challenge you to call a friend. Not text, not direct message (DM) on social media, but actually make the voice call. Or better yet, video call them! Apple has the Facetime app, and Android has the Google Duo app - check it out! Facebook also has video capabilities, I believe, but I’ve never used it before. This would be a great time to try it out!

During this time where we are socially distancing ourselves from each other, being isolated can be lonely and hard on the nerves. 

Meditate

Meditation is fantastic. It feels a little weird the first few times you do it, but once you learn, it’s a powerful way to take back your body from anxiety. I like using meditation to drift off to sleep, but there are also calming, compassion, and mindfulness meditations that would be helpful with managing anxiety. My preferred (and free) apps are: Stop Panic and Anxiety by Excel at Life and Insight Timer by Insight Network Inc. 

Make a Gratefulness List

Last, but certainly not least, take a few minutes to physically, with a pen and piece of paper, write down what you are thankful for. Dig deep if you have to, but come up with a list of at least 5 things you are grateful for today. Sometimes the best thing we can do for our anxiety is change our perspective. Thinking positive by itself may not be a “fixed it” solution, but it will certainly help! And, you will have valuable insight about the great things in your life, too. 

If, for some reason, you absolutely hate the idea of writing these things down, or you feel like someone will read them and you are not comfortable with that, you can use a digital app to do something similar. I like: Journey by Two App Studio Pte. Ltd., Pixels by Teo Vogel, and Gratitude by Pritesh Sankhe. 

Sometimes the best thing we can do for our anxiety is change our perspective.

Anxiety

Anxiety can be tough to deal with, especially when you’re not normally an anxious person. The important thing to remember is that you are not your anxiety. You are MORE than your anxiety. As my mom has always told me, “This, too, shall pass.” I am more than willing to help you in any way I can, but if you get overwhelmed, don’t be afraid to call your doctor and get help. You don’t have to go it alone. 

What have you done to help your anxiety? How did it work? What advice do you think others with anxiety should hear? I’d love to hear about it! Drop a comment below or email me at rachel@capturingyourconfidence.com.

A Brief History of Women in Higher Education

In honor of Women’s History Month, this month’s teaching blog is about the history of women’s education and how teaching became thought of as a feminine career. 

If you are interested in reading beyond what I’ve gathered, check out some great sources at the end! 

The Need for Women’s Education

For most of the United States’ history, women were viewed as homemakers and were primarily in charge of all things domestic. Most fulfilled roles within the household, and were the main caregivers of their families, especially children. 

Since most of the country was still pretty rural in the 1800s, women and children in the household were thought to be sheltered from the realities of a world that was often unkind. The idea of the “Cult of Domesticity” started in the beginning of the 19th century and continued to gain traction throughout the years. 

Women’s God-given role, it stated, was as wife and mother, keeper of the household, guardian of the moral purity of all who lived therein

Thoughts from the Cult of Domesticity

The thought was that, “Women’s God-given role, it stated, was as wife and mother, keeper of the household, guardian of the moral purity of all who lived therein” (Conner Prairie). Women were the moral standard for the home and acted as a compass for their husband and children - especially through Protestant beliefs. 

As the world changed, women began to realize that there could be more to life than bringing up children and tending to the house. This didn’t mean everyone was ready for women to seek work and fulfillment outside the household, but that opportunity was right around the corner. .

It wasn’t until the mid-1800s that women really began to have a chance to attain a college education. Women’s colleges, and co-ed colleges, began to allow women to attend a limited number of programs. Oberlin College in Ohio was the first to admit women in 1837. 

Women were able to attend teaching schools, sometimes called Normal Schools. They were also allowed to enroll in home economics programs. Any woman attending college was doing so to better be able to tend to her home and children - not necessarily to enrich her life or interests, and certainly not to become an income earner outside the home. Or so the majority thought when these schools began to open. 

Women’s career paths were opening up as education expanded. With so many people moving to the cities, and men taking other kinds of jobs, there was a shortage of teachers amidst a growing public education system. This proved to be  problematic when there were more students and people than ever before! 

As women were beginning to add to the teaching force, they were also going into medical careers with jobs like nursing, and some even became doctors. The thought of women having extensive medical knowledge still made many men feel uncomfortable, but everyone was learning. 

It perhaps isn’t surprising that women were involved in the medical field, as they had almost always been considered carers. Who better to take care of sick and injured patients than loving carers armed with knowledge? The same thought makes sense for adding women to the teaching workforce. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u68eWJl_pcw&feature=youtu.be

Although men had historically been in charge of children’s education, opinion began to sway toward women filling this need for more teachers. Some thought of women as the perfect fit because they were believed to be more nurturing than men. 

Some thought of teaching as an extension of domestic life - a way to teach women how to properly raise boys to be good men. Still others thought that teaching children was much like tending to children at home (including instruction in purity), a task women had already been doing for years. 

Although men had historically been in charge of children’s education, opinion began to sway toward women filling this need for more teachers.

Women were also seen as cheaper labor for better work. They would teach and do the hard work of continuing to instill morals and manners in the children, but would not have to be paid the same as male teachers. Schools hired in male principals to resolve any conflicts too “rough” for the women to deal with, and that’s when the quintessential idea of the young, unmarried, pretty school teacher started to become prevalent. 

Just because the world had opened up a little, though, did not mean that everyone was an open book to women’s education. Colleges, if they did admit women, extended only a few available programs to women. In fact, until Title IX was passed in 1972, colleges were legally allowed to restrict what programs women could enroll in. 

Access to Higher Education 

College, in general, was much different for women attendees than it is for contemporary women. Most schools were gender separate because administration thought the dignity of men’s education would be compromised by women and that women might become less delicate if they had as much knowledge as men. 

Women’s suffrage was a work-in-progress, and although many people thought women’s education was important, not everyone agreed on why or how. One of the women on the forefront of a more conservative view of education for women was Catharine Beecher. 

Beecher founded both the Hartford Female Seminary (with her sister) and the Western Female Institute. She was a big promoter of girl’s Physical Education (PE), and offered a wide range of subjects to her students in both institutions. Her main focus in these institutions was training women to be better and more educated wives and mothers.

The proper education of a man decides the welfare of an individual; but education a woman, and the interests of the whole family are secured.

Catharine Beecher, Treatise on Domestic Economy

Interestingly, Beecher was against women’s suffrage. Her most famous book A Treatise on Domestic Economy (1841), was all about women’s place in the home, and as educators. She believed that women’s power was in the domestic sphere, not out in the wide world. 

As the two schools of thought pushed against each other, progression did occur. It wasn’t without struggle, much the same as with other movements of the time. 

Women who went to college didn’t marry as quickly, if at all, compared to women who had less education. They also weren’t having as many children. In a society where gender roles were rigid and there were a lot of traditional expectations of each sex, this became a really big problem. 

If the original intent was to make better wives and mothers, but women weren’t taking either of those roles at the same rates as before, the “goal” of higher education for women was missed - at least according to traditionalists. 

This would be an ongoing battle with women’s education, and other rights that make up equality. It remained quite a debate for many years following - all the way through the 60s, and even afterward! 

Title IX was passed in 1972, which made it illegal for any institution to discriminate based on sex for activities and programs that were federally funded. Even then women faced considerable barriers to higher education outside what were considered “women’s careers” like teaching. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b5K-pIRUnbY

The Women’s Rights Movement 

The progress in education would not have been possible if not for the hard work of women throughout the years. 

It all officially started on July 13, 1848 - 172 years ago! - in New York. Elizabeth Cady Stanton, a mother and housewife, went to tea with a few other women in her social circle and vented her frustration about the limitations she was facing as a woman. The American Revolution was over and won, but was everyone truly free from tyranny? 

Her friends agreed: they all felt the same discontent. So, they made a plan for change.

No one thought this change would be easy. 

Just a week later at the Seneca Falls Convention on July 19-20, 1848, the movement clearly defined their grievances in a document called the Declaration of Sentiments. Elizabeth Cady Stanton modeled the document after the Declaration of Independence. 

There were a number of people at the convention who were shocked by the idea of women wanting the right to vote. They were eventually swayed, however, and the movement was official. It’s important to note here that the movement wasn’t just comprised of women. There were many men who fought to make changes, too.

No one thought this change would be easy. 

In the end of the Declaration of Sentiments, there is a striking line:

“In entering upon the great work before us, we anticipate no small amount of misconception, misrepresentation, and ridicule; but we shall use every instrumentality within our power to effect our object.” 

The Declaration of Sentiments, 1848

“In entering upon the great work before us, we anticipate no small amount of misconception, misrepresentation, and ridicule; but we shall use every instrumentality within our power to effect our object.” 

After the convention, the women at Seneca Falls had hoped for conventions like theirs to spread across the country - and they did! Some conventions were small and some were so large they overflowed the meeting spaces. 

Of course big change doesn’t come without resistance. The media slammed the new ideas, and, as we probably all relate, this can sometimes cause people to change their minds or retract their forward-thinking ideas. BUT, thankfully for us, the women’s movement soldiered on! 

Elizabeth Cady Stanton wasn’t the only woman pioneering the movement. She also had the help of other amazing women such as: Susan B. Anthony, Matilda Joslyn Gage, and Lucy Stone. 

There were also many incredible African-American women working for the cause. With as much struggle as white women faced, women of color faced even more hardship.

Ida B. Wells and Mary Church Terrell were instrumental in rallying thousands of African-American women who were fighting for equality for all women. 

After all of this momentous effort, the 19th Amendment was passed in 1920 and women everywhere were legally allowed to vote. 

The Women’s Bureau of the Department of Labor was also established in 1920 to monitor women’s experience in the workplace, advocate for equality, and protect women at work. 

Progress continued, and in the 1960s a new wave of the women’s movement commenced. We have continued to build and grow since! 

Some of this may be old news, but I hope you learned some new and interesting things! I know I had fun reading about some of the women who worked so hard to get us where we are today. 

What do you think? Drop a comment below or email me at rachel@capturingyourconfidence.com - let’s chat! 

Sources

Advances in Gender and Education

https://www.ncgs.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/The-Education-of-Girls-and-Women-in-the-United-States-A-Historical-Perspective.pdf

Conner Prairie

https://www.connerprairie.org/educate/indiana-history/lives-of-women/

Jewish Women’s Archive

https://jwa.org/encyclopedia/article/working-womens-education-in-united-states

The Journal of Blacks in Higher Education

https://www.jbhe.com/chronology/

Library of Congress

https://www.loc.gov/item/today-in-history/july-19/

MIT Program in Women & Gender Studies

https://stuff.mit.edu/afs/athena.mit.edu/org/w/wgs/prize/eb04.html

National Archives

https://www.archives.gov/women/timeline

National Park Service: National Historical Park New York

https://www.nps.gov/wori/learn/historyculture/declaration-of-sentiments.htm

https://www.nps.gov/articles/african-american-women-and-the-nineteenth-amendment.htm

National Women’s History Alliance

https://nationalwomenshistoryalliance.org/history-of-the-womens-rights-movement/

National Women’s History Museum (NWHM)

https://www.womenshistory.org/articles/why-are-so-many-teachers-women

Our Documents - 19th Amendment

https://www.ourdocuments.gov/doc.php?flash=false&doc=63#

The United States Department of Justice

https://www.justice.gov/crt/overview-title-ix-education-amendments-1972-20-usc-1681-et-seq

The Western Carolina Journalist

https://www.thewesterncarolinajournalist.com/2016/05/04/the-history-of-women-as-teachers/

You Need a Timely Blog Schedule. Here's Why.

March is Women’s History Month, so what could be more fitting than talking about timely blog writing?!

In honor of women everywhere, from every walk of life, this month’s blog posts will be specifically focused on women.

Why is it important to strategize and plan special content throughout the year? 

So what’s the deal with timely blog content? Why is it important to strategize and plan special content throughout the year? 

Before we get to the why, we need to talk about the basics of timely & topical blog content.

How Do You Choose What to Write About? 

Blog Organization When you look at a blog, you’ll usually see some primary categories blogs fall under. These are larger concepts that many subtopics can fall within, and allow a blog to maintain focus instead of just “braindump” about everything. 

As readers, we usually come to blogs for information or to figure something out,

As readers, we usually come to blogs for information or to figure something out, and it can be pretty frustrating when we think we’re reading about one thing and all of the sudden it’s a different topic entirely. 

Our category layout at Capturing Your Confidence is:

My Novel Experience

• Personal topics related to my own experiences

• Blog updates

Inspiration 

• Inspirational topics for writers

• Motivational topics

• General confidence-focused topics (not specifically for writing or teaching)

• Special topics throughout the year (like holidays)

Writing

• How-tos

• Encouragement

• Confidence-building

• Honest problem-solving

Teaching College Writing

• How-tos

• Encouragement

• Confidence-building

• Honest problem-solving

Books

• Reviews

• General interest topics about books

• Interviews with Published Authors

What People Want! Blogs also write about what people want to read! When a particular blog does really well with your audience, you obviously want to give them more and similar content so they want to keep reading. 

Keep Readers Interacting When they continue reading, readers are more likely to engage with the content, which is the ultimate goal. We want to keep readers interactingin ways like: 

• Sharing on social media

• Sharing via email

• Pinning on Pinterest

• Commenting

• Linking on their websites and/or sending to friends

• Visiting website again to read more content

Plan for “Timely” Content Last, but not least, most bloggers plan for “timely” content. These are special blogs outside of their normal content cycle that are typically in celebration or discussion with a current event. Timely content allows bloggers to benefit from conversations or hot topics that “everyone” is talking about.

What are “Timely” Topics? 

Everyone has their own version of what a timely topic is for blogging. Most really successful bloggers use these kinds of timely topics to keep their blog relevant and mainstream: 

Holidays Holiday content can be nationally or internationally recognized holidays like New Year’s Eve/Day.

It can also be fun trivial holidays like Pi Day on March 14th. Where the blogger is from and the audience to which their content is directed will drive their holiday content scheduling.

Big Events Timely content might also revolve around big or impactful events. For instance, this year is 2020 and began a whole new decade. This is a pretty big event for many people, and one worth creating special content for!

Where the blogger is from and the audience to which their content is directed will drive their holiday content scheduling.

Milestones As with most things in our lives, we like to celebrate milestones. For many people, we do special things for our birthdays because they mark milestones in our lives. I just planned a surprise birthday party for my husband’s 30th birthday (which was a great success!). 

We also celebrate births and promotions. 

So it makes sense that we would plan timely blog content about our business and blogging milestones. 

“Hot Topics” or “Buzz Topics” Hot topics, or buzz topics, are those that “everyone” seems to be discussing. With it being election year, there are an especially high number of buzz topics going around. Creating timely content about these kinds of topics (that fits within your blog categories, of course) is a great way to be relevant and draw a wider audience than you might normally get. 

How Do You Know When to Add a Timely Topic Post? 

Ultimately, when bloggers create timely topic posts is completely up to the individual. That being said, keeping things timely is crucial if the blogger wants to be truly successful. 

There are a couple of important times when it’s smart to create timely content. 

Established holidays & loop topics play a big role in my content calendar. 

Established Holidays At the beginning of the year, I identify what holidays I will write extra blogs for, and when those blogs will be published. Certain times of the year are busier than others, like November & December, because there are more holidays occuring.  

In a time where we have very short attention spans, it’s crucial to keep your audience happy and coming back for more. 

Loop Topics Loop topics are those that can circulate every year at a specific time. I like to create loop topics around the season changes, like spring & summer ideas. Since I also create teaching content, back to school, spring break, and end of semester are also important loops in my calendar.

Bloggers add these kinds of content to spice things up and increase audience engagement. It’s important to deliver timely and topical content, but not to let things get stale! In a time where we have very short attention spans, it’s crucial to keep your audience happy and coming back for more. 

The best thing bloggers can do when figuring out when to post timely content is to consider anything they want to read during certain times of the year and make sure to plan for it. If you want to read it, others do, too!

What Do You Write in a Timely Topic Post? 

It’s one thing to have a plan for all this great content, but what the heck actually goes in those posts? 

PostsRelated to Your Categories The most important thing is that your timely blog posts are related to one or more of your categories or subcategories. Don’t just write words to join a movement if it doesn’t have anything to do with what you normally talk about. This is sure to confuse your audience and probably make them less excited than normal to read your content.

Relevant & HelpfulPosts Just like regular blog posts, your timely topics should be relevant and helpful to your audience. Remember, we read to get help and relate to others. Our content misses that connection if we don’t relate to our audience and help them with their needs. 

Our content misses that connection if we don’t relate to our audience and help them with their needs. 

Thought-Provoking & FunPosts Timely blog posts can also be thought-provoking and fun! Fun and thoughtful posts might also allow you to stretch your subtopics a little and cover things you might not normally cover. They can add a little zing to your content without taking away from your impact.

Posts that are lists or include guides can be excellent timely topical posts because people love to have tangible things they can come back to. Spring cleaning list? Sure winner! Fall back to school guide? Pretty much guaranteed interest!

“Pro” Tips 

As a not-quite-new blogger, there are some things I have learned from planning timely content. 

FIrst, don’t overwhelm yourself! Especially if you are a brand new blogger, it’s probably not reasonable to expect yourself to put out a brand new, good quality blog every day for every holiday. Quality is more important than quantity, and you don’t want to create built-in burnout for yourself by overscheduling.

Make sure to plan ahead. There will be some months where you are slammed with potential special content. While this can be a great opportunity, it also means more work for you. There will also be some months with just “regular” content. If you don’t have special content to create, what do you need to be working on that month?

You and your message are at the core of what you do. Don’t just write blogs to write them.

When possible, collaborate with others. This is sometimes easier said than done, as blogging can be a pretty solitary activity. Collaboration helps you create more quality content with less content generation time for you. It’s a win-win if you can find trustworthy co-bloggers.

Be genuine. You and your message are at the core of what you do. Don’t just write blogs to write them. Write blogs that add value to your audience’s lives. Your audience came to your blog specifically to read what you are saying - make it worth their while! 

Last, but certainly not least,  evaluate yourself after a few topical posts. We need to evaluate our successes and misses in order to grow and get better. You don’t want to work on your topical content for a whole year only to find out that you should have changed it 3 months in!

Do you read or write topical content? How do you plan? I’d love to hear about your experiences! Drop a comment below or email me at rachel@capturingyourconfidence.com.

Interview with an Author: Dr. Deborah Mix

Our February guest author here at Capturing Your Confidence is Dr. Deborah Mix.

Deborah Mix teaches American literature and Women's and Gender Studies at Ball State University, where she is a professor of English. She is the author of "A Vocabulary of Thinking": Gertrude Stein and Contemporary North American Women's Innovative Writing (U of Iowa Press, 2007) and the co-editor, with Logan Esdale, of Approaches to Teaching the Writing of Gertrude Stein (MLA Press, 2018).

Her articles have appeared in academic journals including American Literature and Contemporary Women's Writing and in edited collections including The Cambridge History of 20th-Century American Women's Poetry (Cambridge, 2016) and Revisiting the Elegy in the Black Lives Matter Era (Routledge, 2020). 

We connected with Dr. Mix about her writing & teaching experiences, and what advice she would give to aspiring authors.

Tell us a little about what your specialty studies.

I’m a teacher and scholar of American literature, with a specialization in twentieth-century American poetry in particular. I’m especially interested in the ways that women poets understand themselves and how we can understand them in relationship to one another, sort of like a family tree of writing. How does understanding one writer’s work help us think about another’s, and vice versa.

Tell us about your writing journey. Have you always wanted to be a writer?

No. I don’t think I really considered the “writing” aspect of academia when I headed in this direction. I just wanted to read interesting things and talk about them with other people. In some ways, I’m still learning to think of myself as a writer.

Where did the idea for your edited collection, Approaches to Teaching the Works of Gertrude Stein, develop from?

My co-editor and I had both done scholarly work on Stein, and we’d both been teaching her writing in our classes and making the case for Stein’s significance. But it was our sense that while a lot of other people thought her work was important, they weren’t sure how to teach it.

While a lot of other people thought her [Gertrude Stein's] work was important, they weren’t sure how to teach it.

At the same time, we knew there were people out there doing really exciting things with Stein’s writing in their classrooms. We wanted to bring those ideas together in a collection.

How does the process of collaboration work between multiple editors? How does it differ from working on a piece of your own?

The biggest challenge was balancing our approaches to writing and editing. Logan wanted to take a more active editorial approach than I did at first, but I came around to his way of thinking. We had to move in my direction in terms of the material we wrote because there just wasn’t space for the level of detail he wanted to include.

Logistically, we also had the challenge of coming up with a system to keep track of drafts of essays and to make sure we spoke in one voice in our comments to authors.

What was your process for putting the collection together?

Because the collection came out through the Modern Language Association (MLA), we had to go through multiple reviews along the way—it was a slow process! We wanted a collection that included approaches to a wide variety of Stein’s work, not just her most familiar pieces (like Tender Buttons and The Autobiography), as well as a wide variety of pedagogical strategies.

Selecting the essays to include was both pleasurable and difficult—people are doing wonderful things with Stein’s writing in their classrooms!

Selecting the essays to include was both pleasurable and difficult—people are doing wonderful things with Stein’s writing in their classrooms! We worked closely with the authors on their essays to ensure they met our goals for the collection as well as the authors’ goals for their work. 

Describe your biggest writing obstacle and how you overcame it.

I’m not sure I have overcome it, but I’d say my most common challenge is believing that what I’m saying is valuable. Sometimes I feel like Captain Obvious, and I have to remind myself that what feels obvious is often the product of a lot of thinking and research on my part, so it won’t feel obvious to anyone else.

How do you balance teaching and writing? Where, if any, do you see intersections between your work and your writing?

Because I know what it’s like to feel like an impostor or to doubt the value of my writing, I can help students who harbor the same fears. As a writer, I love a good close reading, so that’s something I try to encourage in my students. Good arguments (and good writing more broadly) should come out of and stay grounded in textual detail. 

What is the part of the book (or process) you are most proud of?

I’m really proud of the range of ideas in the collection. There are essays about teaching Stein’s operas (Four Saints in Three Actsand The Mother of Us All), her mystery novel (Blood on the Dining Room Floor), and The Making of Americans.

There’s truly something for almost anyone who wants to teach Stein’s writing.

There are ideas for teaching her work in introductory classes and graduate courses, and in American Studies, theatre, and creative writing contexts. There’s truly something for almost anyone who wants to teach Stein’s writing.

Do you have plans for another book or additional published writing in the future?

I’m talking with a colleague about putting together an edited collection on the feminist poet, scholar, teacher, and editor Kathleen Fraser.

Do you write creatively, or would you ever consider doing creative writing? If so, how do you think that differs from your academic writing?

No, I don’t feel drawn to write creatively, though I admire the poet/scholars that I know very much.

What do you want the world to know about you as an author?

I see myself as a feminist scholar, seeking to foreground the voices of other feminist authors.

What is the biggest piece of advice you would give to aspiring writers?

Figure out what you’re curious about and ground your writing in those questions.

Figure out what you’re curious about and ground your writing in those questions.

If you would like to purchase Dr. Mix's book Approaches to Teaching the Works of Gertrude Stein to use in your classroom, or just to read, you can find a copy here.

If you would like to purchase Dr. Mix's first book on Stein, A Vocabulary of Thinking, you can find a copy here.

If you know an author, or of an author, you would love to read an interview with, email me at rachel@capturingyourconfidence.com!

4 Ways to Gain Confidence When You Need It: Exploring Confidence Series, Part 4

Welcome back to the Exploring Confidence Series!  

When you try to gain confidence, how do you do it? 

In the fourth and final part of our Exploring Confidence mini-series, we will discuss why you need confidence and what we do to gain confidence when we don’t have it.

Series Review

In Part 1 we defined confidence as: the “quality of being certain of your abilities or of having trust in people, plans, or the future.” We discussed self-efficacy, where confidence comes from, and the fact that everyone needs it! 

In Part 2 we expanded these ideas and discussed two important factors that create confidence: support from our network and taking risks & succeeding. 

Confidence is made up of a combination of inner strength, willingness to be wrong, and the knowledge that you can get back up when you fall down.

Confidence matters because it creates a more positive mindset, allows for better interactions with others, and creates an easier path to success

In Part 3 we got into the details of four major reasons we lose confidence: lack of support network, harmful support network, confidence never fully developed, and bad/failed experiences.

When we lose confidence, we become afraid to make decisions, don’t take action on our big ideas, worry more, and feel resigned and/or stuck.

Why Do We Need Confidence? 

If you’ve been following our series (yay!), you might remember from Part 1 that everyone needs confidence. It’s important!

Why is it so important, though? Confidence helps us: 

Make Decisions When we are confident, we doubt ourselves less, and as a result, we are able to be more decisive. We don’t have to linger on the agonizing question of whether we made the “right” decision because we are sure of our knowledge and abilities. 

Take Control of Our Lives When we are confident, we make decisions. Sometimes those are good, and sometimes maybe not so much. But, if we are scared and stuck in our comfort zone, we miss opportunities to really live rather than just survive each day. We are more likely to take a risk and get a reward. We might also take a risk and receive a negative consequence. Either way, our confidence allows us to be drivers in our own life rather than passengers. 

Build Connections When we are confident, we network more effectively and build stronger connections with other individuals. Sometimes these are like-minded people who grow into friends or family. Sometimes they are opposites or compliments to our skills who grow into business partners. Our confidence makes us more willing to reach out or have necessary conversations that might normally make us uncomfortable. 

Our confidence allows us to be drivers in our own life rather than passengers. 

Succeed When we are confident, we can fail forward and grow. We build relationships, make decisions, and take control of our lives. These are keys of success! Trying, working hard, and knowing we can face any obstacle that comes our way. After all, everything is figureoutable (thanks for this gem, Marie Forleo!). We need this kind of confident and positive mindset to see real, long-lasting success.

How Do We Gain Confidence When We Don’t Have It? 

It’s great when we have confidence, right? Because we do the things we love and know we need to do - and we win! Sometimes they are basic things, but we are still doing it!

But we are all humans here, and no one is immune to down days. And sometimes those down days can be really down. 

I’m talking about days where everything is going wrong and no matter how many times you’ve done something you feel like you are failing (and not forward).  Can you relate? 

Can you relate? 

What do we do in these situations? 

Sometimes we give up, and you know what? A day or two where you surrender to the bad day isn’t necessarily a bad thing. They can be terrific growing moments (after the day is over, of course).

BUT, if you find that you don’t have confidence on a regular basis, you have some work to do! I am 100% sure that you are a capable person who has a lot to offer the world. I have no doubts. I’m not the one who needs convincing of that, though, because I already know. It’s you who needs to be convinced of your own awesomeness. 

So when you are feeling low or scared, when your confidence is nowhere to be found, try these things. They’re sure to work, and excuse the language, but you’ll be your bad ass self again in no time! Or, maybe for the first time, if your confidence has been hiding for awhile.

Take a Breath & Affirm Yourself.

The very first thing you should do when you need confidence and don’t have it is to take a breath. Close your eyes and breathe in slowly. Clear your mind of everything else, especially your stressors and anxious feelings. 

The very first thing you should do when you need confidence and don’t have it is to take a breath.

Take slow deep breaths for as long as it takes for you to clear your mind. The first few times you try this, it will be hard. Keep going! After you use this strategy a few times, you will notice it getting easier, and more calming. 

Once you’re calm, open your eyes and reaffirm yourself. Speak out loud to yourself, and if you are in a place with a mirror, look at yourself while you are saying your affirmation(s). 

Select a couple of short and powerful mantras that work for you. If you think you will forget, write them out or print them and carry them around with you. 

If you are totally lost or thinking “What the heck should I say to myself?!”, I have created a printable list for you! Click the button below to get it now. Feel free to use it however is most helpful, whether that’s using the phrases as they are or using them as inspiration for your own! 

Get My Affirmations!

Let Yourself Have Down Days.

Not every day will be a great one, and that’s okay. Part of what allows us to really appreciate joyful times are those bad days that seem like they’ll never end. It’s okay every now and then to just embrace the fact that you’re having a down day. 

The key being every now and then. If you find yourself in a holding pattern where you have a bad day every few days or every week, take some time to analyze what’s making the day so bad. Is it a major part of your life that’s causing an issue? These kinds of things might include work or relationships. 

Figuring out what’s causing your down days is instrumental in having less of them.

If it’s not major things, what kinds of minor things are causing an issue? Bad habit? Something health related that’s manageable but annoying? 

Figuring out what’s causing your down days is instrumental in having less of them. Not to mention, they can sometimes feel less bad when you realize what’s causing them. 

Replace Your Idea of Failure. 

Failure as a concept is kind of useless, when you think about it. 

The dictionary defines failure as a “lack of success in doing something.” 

What exactly are we supposed to do with that? 

Nothing! 

All failure tells us is that we didn’t do something well or achieve our expected outcome. Not to mention it feels downright bad when we say “I failed.” We trap ourselves into thinking that because we didn’t succeed, we won’t succeed - which absolutely isn’t true!

We need to reprogram our brains to think, “How can I do/be better next time?” rather than “I am a failure.” 

What we need isn’t necessarily an idea of “failing,” but an idea of growth when we don’t succeed. We need to reprogram our brains to think, “How can I do/be better next time?” rather than “I am a failure.” 

Questioning ourselves is critical to growth. There will almost always be a “next time,” so our goal shouldn’t be to dwell on the fact that we did something wrong, but how to do/be better when our next time comes.

Out of all the steps to take to grow your confidence, or get it back, this is the hardest one. It’s so hard to go against the grain of what feels natural and comfortable, but believe me, it’s worth it. Your confidence will thank you, and whatever “failure” you’re facing next time will feel like a speed bump instead of a wall!

Do What Scares You.

Take a moment and think about what your life would be like if you did all the things you were scared to do. Are you dreaming of an awesome life?! What if I told you that you could have that life? That doing the things that scare you will literally change your life?

Doing the things that scare you is a game-changer. 

Doing the things that scare you is a game-changer. You don’t have to just take my word for it, either. There are 4 things you can start doing TODAY to start working toward your awesome life. If you’re interested in a more in-depth look at doing things that scare you, I wrote a whole blog about it (it’s one of my very favorites!). You can find that here, if you’re interested. 

Step 1: Make a Plan You have a vision for your awesome, confident life. That’s great! Now you need to know how to get there. Write down the big steps you have to take. Then, write down how to get to each big step. Don’t take action just yet, but keep your list handy.

Step 2: Take Small Steps Your first steps into doing scary things should probably be small. You don’t want to get so overwhelmed that you give up before you really get going! Look at the smaller things on your list - do you need to network with people to get a new position? Try adding the individual on LinkedIn. 

Step 3: Take Secret Steps This part is important! We often love sharing our new ventures, especially with friends and family. While this is great, and can lead to a strong support network, I want you to take some steps just for you. 

Revel in what you find out and accomplish that no one in the world knows about except you. Because when no one else knows, and you feel that surge of confidence, you will know it’s coming from you and your actions alone. 

Take some steps just for you.

For instance, if you decide to research something you’ve always wanted to do, even if it’s without intention of making a decision by yourself, it’s important for you to know that you’ve taken the initiative on your own. No one prompted you, and you’re not beholden to anyone to provide updates. It’s purely an act of confidence to be able to say “I did this work, and now I know how I can make this happen.” 

Step 4: Use the 10 Seconds of Courage Rule This tool is especially great if you’re struggling with confidence around other people. The idea is that you take 10 seconds and do something that scares the bejeebers out of you and you convince yourself you can do it because it’s only 10 seconds. 

Want to ask a new romantic interest out to dinner but don’t know how? Take 10 seconds of courage to type out a text and hit the send button. It doesn’t have to be fancy, and you won’t have time to overthink. Just do the thing. You’ll be surprised by how confident you feel once you’ve done it! 

Even if that person says no for some reason, you can use the 10 seconds of courage rule to do almost anything. Heck, that’s how my now-husband and I began our relationship! I took 10 seconds of (insane) courage and asked about it! It sparked the convo and here we are 8 years later. 

It’s also how I negotiated benefits at my job. This really works, folks. And once you get the hang of it, it’s exhilarating!

This really works, folks. And once you get the hang of it, it’s exhilarating!

All of these steps are tried and true - I use all of them in my everyday life, and I know I’m not the only one. Not having confidence can be brutal, and no one should have to feel like they’re surviving their life instead of living it. 

Be kind to yourself as you’re learning and growing your confidence! For some people these steps might seem easy, but for others they will be incredibly hard. Either way, you’ve got this.

Did you use the steps? How did they work for you?  I’d love to hear about your journey! Drop a comment below or send me an email at rachel@capturingyourconfidence.com.