What Creates Confidence?: Exploring Confidence Series, Part 2

Welcome back to the Exploring Confidence Series!  

When you consider the idea of confidence, where do you think it comes from? 

In Part 2 of our Exploring Confidence mini-series, we will discuss what creates confidence, what’s it’s made of, and why it matters. 

What is Confidence?: A Brief Review

In Part 1 we defined confidence as: the “quality of being certain of your abilities or of having trust in people, plans, or the future.” 

We discussed confidence with self-efficacy, which is “people's beliefs about their capabilities to produce effects” (Bandura 1994).

Sometimes we are confident, but we don’t think it makes a difference! 

Confidence comes from our support network/system, experiences, and within us.

Everyone needs confidence. Why? Because we use it to bolster ourselves & others, as well as to make decisions. 

What Creates Confidence? 

If confidence is the quality of being certain of our own abilities, it stands to reason that thought has to come from somewhere. Some of us are blessed to be born with outgoing and flamboyant personalities. While this is a great attribute, it’s definitely not something everyone has throughout their lives. 

The good news is, we can develop confidence! That process looks a little different for everyone, but there are a couple of key aspects when creating or developing confidence:

Support from Our Network Our support network is critical in our confidence development. When we have a full and vocal cast of supporters in our lives, we tend to be comfortable to make decisions and feel good about them. And why wouldn’t we? Our network will probably do one of two things: encourage us to keep going or catch us when we fall.

It’s not until we’re adults that we are fully in control of who we associate with.

On the other hand, if we’re figuring out how to survive and thrive without a network of supporters cheering us on, it can be hard to be sure about our decisions. We may question whether the risk is worth the outcome or whether we can actually follow through with what we know needs done. This causes us not only to doubt our own efficacy, but also worry about the effect if we do make the decision and it goes poorly. What will happen in a worst case scenario if we don’t have someone to catch us when we fall?

We begin our lives not really having a choice about who surrounds us. We have families and friends, but those are likely people you have grown up with/around. It’s not until we’re adults that we are fully in control of who we associate with. If we grew up in a setting that didn’t allow for a lot of decision making or failing safely, we might have to learn these things as an adult. 

Taking Risks & Succeeding This probably sounds odd, but it’s true: taking risks creates confidence. In fact, when we take a lot of risks and they work out, our confidence can be bolstered pretty darn quickly. 

The problem with risks is that they’re risks, though, right? It wouldn’t be a risk if there wasn’t some negative consequence(s) associated with failure. 

When I say risk, I mean calculated risk. I don’t mean jumping off your roof thinking you can fly knowing full well you can’t but “risking” it just in case. I mean thinking through the pros and cons, educating yourself about the possible consequences and effects (good and bad) and then deciding to take action. While there will always be a negative consequence looming if we fail, there will also be a reward waiting if we succeed. 

The problem with risks is that they’re risks.

Confidence grows when we reward our calculated risk-taking. We see the success and we like that feeling! We want to feel it again, so we take some more risk to gain more reward. Eventually, we get to a place where even when we fail or take a bad risk, we’ve learned to get back up and try again. After all, we’ve seen what happens when we take a risk and succeed. 

What is Confidence Made of?

When we try to define words like confidence, we have an idea, but it can be tricky to explain. It’s not like you can go pick up a pack of confidence at the grocery store. So how do we know what it’s made of and where it comes from? 

Most of us see confidence fluctuate in our daily lives. We notice when people are confident, when they’re not, and perhaps even understand why. We just don’t often stop to think about it. What we see when we really look are:

Inner Strength People who are confident are strong. Not just on the outside, but mentally and emotionally. They have taken calculated risks and won, but they have also failed. They are self-aware and don’t shy away from speaking what needs to be said. This isn’t to say they enjoy confrontation, but realize that to grow, sometimes this must occur. They have developed their voices and characters and are ready to take on the world. 

People who are confident are strong. Not just on the outside, but mentally and emotionally.

They are people we look to for leadership and, sometimes, guidance. 

Picture the most confident person you know. Imagine their mannerisms and voice. Recall their character and values. 

What are the easiest qualities to recall? 

Willingness to Be Wrong For most people, being wrong seems to be a real sticking point. We live in a world where technology allows us to find the right answers to many questions within a few minutes. The problem is that we’re not always right, and that’s okay! 

Confident people are okay with being wrong because they know it’s a growing pain. We weren’t born knowing how to feed ourselves or drive a car - those are things we learn. And sometimes we mess them up along the journey. When we can admit we are not perfect, that we are, in fact, human beings who make mistakes, that’s when we are truly confident. 

When we are not willing to be wrong, we show fear. We are not taking the risk to be vulnerable to get the positive reward of growth, so we get stuck where we are. Refusal to be wrong and grow is a mask for lack of confidence. 

Many people will simply shrug this off. We see this a lot with people in power. They say things like “alternative facts” or blame others for their mistakes. No one is immune from being wrong sometimes, though. 

Think again about the most confident person you know. How do they handle being wrong? 

Knowledge that You Can Get Back Up When You Fall Down When we are brave enough to take risks, even when they scare us, we can succeed. Sometimes far beyond our wildest ideas. But, we also take the chance of failing and getting knocked down. Because we are human, we make mistakes and do things wrong. 

Confident people can get back up and try again when they fall. It might not be immediately, and it might not be the same attempt (which is probably good if it failed), but they are secure in the idea that when they’re ready, they can get up and keep going. 

Confident people are okay with being wrong because they know it’s a growing pain.

This knowledge comes partly from taking risks with possible success and failure outcomes. It also comes from being secure in the idea that it’s okay to be wrong. They wouldn’t do the same thing again, but even if it’s the worst failure of their lives, life will continue on. It is in these situations that confident people’s inner strength really shines through. 

Think one last time about the most confident person you know. What do they do when they fall flat on their face? 

Why Does it Matter? 

While it’s great that we can talk about what confidence is, where it comes from, and what it’s made of, why exactly is that information important? As I tell my students when they’re writing their research papers, they need to think about a “so what” factor - a reason their audience should care about what they’re trying to say.

So, in the spirit of a lifelong learner, here’s why confidence matters:

More Positive Mindset Who couldn’t use a little more positivity in their lives? We notice the inward changes of growing confidence first. We feel safer in the knowledge we can do what we want and need to do. We can make decisions, and fail, but we will be alright. 

We feel safer in the knowledge we can do what we want and need to do. We can make decisions, and fail, but we will be alright. 

We also worry less about our abilities! We don’t feel the need to constantly second guess our abilities, and that probably makes our work even better. We might even display more creativity or reach beyond what we thought we could do - all because we’ve gained the confidence to keep going. 

When we are confident, we also present ourselves better. We care less about the opinions of others because we trust ourselves, so we wear what we want to wear - what makes us feel good. We might do our hair differently or say hello to someone at work who we don’t normally talk to. We become more of the person we want to be. 

Better Interactions with Others Think of all the times you’ve started a project and second guessed your work. Maybe you had a brilliant out-of-the-box idea, but didn’t propose it at work because you didn’t think others would agree. Or you’ve completed something you’re really proud of, but never shown it to anyone because you weren’t confident about it. 

When we are comfortably confident, we present ourselves differently. We might stand a little taller, speak a little slower and with more assuredness during important gatherings. We also trust our own work, which means when we go to present it to others, we are more credible and believable. We believe in what we do, so others have a good reason to, also! 

We believe in what we do, so others have a good reason to, also! 

When we believe in our work, and others believe in our work, that’s a recipe for great collaboration. Others see your energy and vibes and want to get in on the action. They want to see more of your awesome ideas because you presented them with confidence!

More Confidence = Easier Path to Success When we act and work with confidence, we have an easier path to success. No, this is not a straight ticket or an easy shot, but here’s what more confidence can do:

It can create openings for collaboration. Networking is absolutely vital these days! In the past it might have been easy to walk in and get a job on a Monday morning with just a printed resume, but that time is long gone. You never know who you might be able to work with when you collaborate on projects. 

It makes you more willing to take risks, and as we know, taking risks is key to building confidence. We start with the tiny ones, and when we see them succeed, we can start building on them. Sometimes we’re in a position to take a larger risk for a larger reward. Would a person lacking in confidence go for that risk, even if it was their dream job/relationship/goal? Maybe not. 

Confidence also allows you to believe in yourself and your work enough that when you do face hard times of “failure,” you can get up afterward. Unfortunately, life isn’t always fair and some people face more obstacles than others. Perseverance is key to success, so when you have the confidence to weather the storm, you too can sail through to your vision of success, whatever that may be.  

What’s Next? 

We’ve talked about what creates confidence, what it’s made of, and why it matters. Tune in for the next part of our mini-series to read more about what can break confidence.

What have your experiences been with confidence? I’d love to hear about them! Drop a comment below or send me an email at rachel@capturingyourconfidence.com. 

What is Confidence?: Exploring Confidence Series, Part 1

When you think about confidence, what comes to mind? In our new mini-series, we will dig into what makes confidence, what breaks confidence, and what we can do when we need confidence and it’s not there. 

What is Confidence? 

With any exploration, it makes sense to go straight to a reliable source, right? So to kick things off, confidence is defined as the “quality of being certain of your abilities or of having trust in people, plans, or the future.” 

Confidence has everything to do with how we feel about the actions we take (or could take) to be successful. When we are confident, we feel sure we can accomplish what we need to serve others and ourselves, as well as succeed in the future. 

Confidence vs. Self-Efficacy

While confidence is the belief that you can be successful, there is a difference between believing you can do something and actually doing it. When we are confident, we take risks and accomplish tasks. We go through life with fewer doubts about what we are doing, and we believe we can succeed. 

In my studies of confidence, extending back to grad school, one of the core concepts studied alongside confidence is the idea of self-efficacy. Scholar Albert Bandura is one of the most well-known self-efficacy researchers in the field, dating back to the 1990s, and he defines perceived self-efficacy as “People's beliefs about their capabilities to produce effects” (Bandura 1994).

The reason this is important is because even when we are confident, sometimes our self-efficacy is lacking.

The reason this is important is because even when we are confident, sometimes our self-efficacy is lacking. This means we are sure of what we can do, but we are not sure that it makes a difference. 

For instance, in my writing & blogging, I know for a fact I can learn all the important aspects. I don’t question whether I can learn more about marketing or networking or writing for different audiences. I am completely confident; however, sometimes doubt comes creeping in (as it does to all of us) and makes me think things like:

Even if you learn all the things, it won’t matter. You’ll only reach a small group of people and you won’t be able to spread your positive message. 

And 

Your writing is good, but dang girl, you don’t know anything about online business! How can you boost anyone’s confidence if you can’t get to them? 

For most bloggers and entrepreneurs, these thoughts (or something similar) have probably crossed your mind. This is low self-efficacy. It’s not about the belief in yourself as as a whole, but about whether you believe you can effect change or difference. 

Take a moment and think about a time where you were very sure you could complete a task. Were you sure your ability to complete that task would make a difference in the outcome?  

Where Does Confidence Come From? 

No matter what kind of family life you have, where you grew up, or who you have become, there are a few factors that play heavily into your confidence. It starts when we’re children, but often grows and changes as we become adults. Everyone has a unique blend of surroundings, experiences, and personality that can help explain why our confidence is the way it is. 

Support System/Network Who we grow up around as a child has a lot to do with how confident we are. This includes family, friends, teachers, and anyone else we learned from. Typically, when we have a wide network of supportive people who want to see us succeed and are willing to help, we have at least some confidence we can achieve our goals. 

What happens when you don’t have a good support system, though? 

Sometimes the lack of a supportive network causes people to be fiercely independent and confident despite the fact that they’re doing it all on their own. Sometimes it causes struggle that builds resistance to that low self-efficacy trap. If we’re on our own without help, we know what we’re doing is making a difference because we can see it. 

We don’t have much say in our support system when we’re young, but as we grow older and become adults, we decide who to surround ourselves with. 

We don’t have much say in our support system when we’re young, but as we grow older and become adults, we decide who to surround ourselves with. We expand our networks to coworkers and managers, and maybe we become friends with people from our past who played different roles before - for instance, becoming friends with old teachers.  

Experiences The great and terrible thing about experience is that no one else has your unique blend of perception and lived reality. You have experienced events in a way that no one else could because you are you! This can be a real confidence booster if you have had a lot of positive experiences. 

Maybe you were a great student and won a lot of awards during your school years, or you were a celebrated athlete and were awarded college scholarships. These experiences create more confidence and make you feel like you can do all the things. 

On the other hand, negative experiences greatly affect you, too. They are certainly a deterrent from doing the same or similar things again, and can quickly make you lose confidence in yourself and your abilities. 

The great and terrible thing about experience is that no one else has your unique blend of perception and lived reality.

For instance, when you tried your absolute best on a paper in school and were given a “C” but didn’t understand why. Or when you volunteered to babysit the class pet over the weekend and your parents were angry at you. These kinds of experiences breed doubt, make you lose confidence, and many times, make you lose self-efficacy. 

Within Us We can’t talk about confidence without talking about how unique each of us is. Our personalities play a large role in our behavior, which is usually what influences our experiences. You’re the backbone of your life.

Some of us, especially those of us who are blessed with great support systems growing up, take more naturally to confidence. It makes sense that we would accept and live confidently when people have been telling us that we can do it from a young age. Our personalities grow into that belief and it becomes a part of us. 

Some of us, though, face great odds to become confident. It’s much harder to be confident when our support system is always telling us we won’t succeed or taking actions that show they don’t care. When these people grow confidence, it’s because they have dug deep into themselves and worked hard to see their progress. 

Maybe they want to prove others wrong, or maybe they just want to get out of where they are. Either way, they gain confidence by succeeding when no one else seems to believe in them. And when they get there, their confidence has become a solid foundation. 

Who Needs Confidence? 

The short version is that everyone needs confidence. This might seem dramatic, but the reality is that we use confidence in a number of ways every day. It can be critical to our success at all levels - as a child, teenager, adult, and experienced adult. 

Here’s why: 

We use it to bolster ourselves & others. We all have times where we feel deflated. Everything is going wrong and it feels like we’ll never get to where we want to be. When we have a healthy confidence, though, these times are short periods. They’re not decades of our life, they’re days, weeks, or months. When we believe in ourselves, we can reinflate and keep trying, even if it’s slower than we would like. We are more positive, and we take some risks that we might not without confidence. 

When we are more positive and figure out ways to get through the tough times, we can also use these strategies to help others. Have you ever said to someone “I have complete confidence in you,” or had someone say that to you? It’s a pretty great feeling on both accounts (when you mean it)! 

Sometimes we can tell ourselves enough to believe it, but sometimes we need others to step in and remind us that we can do it. When we have confidence, we can act as that other person both for ourselves and for others. It’s a win-win situation. 

We use it to make decisions. 

How often do you make big purchases where you’re not sure if it will work out? I don’t know about you, but I have to have a strong mindset before I’m laying down my money, especially the big bucks. 

Believe it or not, confidence plays a large role in how we make our decisions. We make different decisions when we are confident than when we are lacking confidence.

For instance, starting a brand new business without having all the necessary skills, but being sure you can learn them in short order to create success is a bold and confident move. You probably wouldn’t make that decision if you weren’t feeling confident you could learn more and fast. 

We also use confidence in our personal lives. We make confident decisions about our purchases, cooking, and relationship interactions. Often, we appear more confident among the people we are closest to because we trust them enough to show them our truest selves. We are also fairly sure they won’t scoff or joke about our big dreams like others might.

What’s Next? 

We’ve talked about what confidence is, where we get it, and who needs it, so where do we go now? Tune in for the next part of our mini-series to read more about what makes up confidence!

What have your experiences been with confidence? I’d love to hear about them! Drop a comment below or send me an email at rachel@capturingyourconfidence.com.  

The Ultimate Guide to Journaling

UPDATED DECEMBER 2020

Chances are, if you liked writing or showed an interest at all when you were young, someone gave you a journal at one point. It may have been a pretty notebook, a hardbound “diary,” or, a tiny little notebook that fits about 3 words on the line.

What do you remember about it? 

Were you excited? Annoyed? Skeptical, perhaps?

Me too. As someone who has loved writing for as long as I can remember, I had a string of “diaries” when I was young. I specifically remember having a voice-activated password diary - the latest trendy thing in the 2000s. It seemed like every birthday or gift-giving holiday, journals were the gift of choice. 

When I was young, I would get all excited about a new journal. I would use it for a few writing sessions, then lose interest. Sometimes I would be paranoid that my diary was read by someone (and sometimes it was). Or, I didn’t want to spend hours writing down all my thoughts at one time, because that’s what journaling was to me then: hours of writing down every little feeling and detail. 

When I went away to college, I found comfort in keeping a journal on a regular basis. I didn’t write every day, because I tended to write quite extensively, but every week or two I would write about what was important and happening in my life. It was during this hectic time that I figured out how incredibly helpful it is to have a journal. 

Now I journal every day, and it has changed my life.

What is Journaling?

Before we get to the juicy stuff, though, let’s make sure we’re on the same page about what a journal actually is. A journal is, “a daily record of news and events of a personal nature; a diary.” Essentially, you write every day about what’s happening around you in a private place.

Many times, this strict definition of journal is what discourages people from journaling. The “daily” act of writing or keeping a “diary” seems like quite a big time commitment, especially if you’re busy, as most of us are.

This was definitely off-putting for me because: 

• When I was writing in a “diary” I poured out my soul for long periods of time. I’m talking a couple of hours at a time, so how could I expect to do that every day?

• Because I wrote so much for so long, I was drained, so writing every day seemed like an unattainable goal.

• I’ve never liked the idea of a “diary” because it seems like telling people about a diary encourages them to ask about things you obviously want to keep private. It also seems like something you might have to “hide” - at least that’s what we learn about keeping a diary as kids.

When I talk about the benefits of journaling and how helpful it’s been in my own life, understand that I don’t commit to writing 10 pages a day of raw emotional content in a diary.

Every morning I free write 3 pages - a practice called Morning Pages (read more about that here) - and I log my day at the end of the day. For me, journaling is one of the biggest ways I do self-care, so I do indulge in nice journals, although not super expensive ones. I love Peter Pauper Press journals like this one.

7 Benefits of Journaling

While it’s one thing for me to say journaling has helped me, it’s another thing to “prove” it, right? After all, just because something works for me doesn’t mean it will work for you.

BUT

Did you know there are research-backed benefits to journaling? People have been studying journaling for years and it DOES have some pretty great benefits as a practice.

Journaling helps you have:

• Less stress

• Less anxiety

• Better ability to work through emotion

• Physical healing from the effects of diseases like Depression

• Psychological healing from trauma

• Improved memory

• Boosts positivity

And these are just some benefits! Science also supports these claims?

Types of Journals

Free writing isn’t the only way to journal - there are plenty of other options! This might seem like it makes things more complicated, but it’s actually really great for you because it means that you are not confined to the traditional idea of keeping a journal if that doesn’t appeal to you.

Here are some types of journaling you could choose from: 

• Self-Care Journal - working through life’s difficulties and your own feelings

• Writing journal - if you are a writer and want all of your thoughts collected in one place

• Gratitude journal - a log of things you are grateful for

• Travel journal - a written account of your travels

• Dream journal - a written account of your dreams and what you think they mean

• Bullet journal - an all-in-one organizational system that can be a journal plus a lot more!

A journal can and should be what you want and need it to be. Learning what works for me has been a journey. I used to do personal journaling in bursts. I would write 5-10 pages at a time, but only once or twice a month. Now, I write 3 pages every morning and not only is it easier because I have a limit to the time and amount, but I’ve come to rely on it as a way to clear my head before the start of the day.

In the morning I do free writing, but I also list 3-5 things I’m grateful for and 3 things I must get done during the day. Before bed, I log my day in the Pixels app and I list 10 things I’m grateful for. If I have something special that I took a picture of, I put it in the journey app for safe-keeping. It’s awesome! It also doesn’t take as long as you might think - I spend maybe a half hour in the morning and less than 10 minutes at night.

How to Begin Journaling

Although it may seem daunting, journaling doesn’t have to be complicated or all-consuming. There are 4 simple steps that can get you started journaling today!

1. Choose how to journal. Consider what you want to get out of journaling: are you anxious? Do you need to unload your emotions in a private place? Are you really busy and need to keep a log of what’s going on around you? Do you just want someone to talk to who won’t react to what you’re saying? Once you know what you want from your new journaling habit, it will be easier to figure out the “how to do it” part.

2. Decide what medium to write it. Do you like the traditional feeling of pen on paper? Or do you love technology and want to keep a digital journal? There are awesome tools available for both options. Do some research and see what’s out there that you like. I also have some options below that I love and I think you might, too!

3. Acquire whatever tool you want to use to journal. Is this a regular notebook? A fancy, bound journal? A daily app with reminders? 

4. Begin writing. You’ve got this! It’s a process to get used to writing every day, but if you make the effort to take time to do it, journaling will begin to become a very positive habit in your life.

Journaling Tools

I didn’t start out as someone who loves journaling, but I sure am now! Along the way, I’ve found some pretty incredible FREE tools that I still use today. Check them out - I think you’ll like them, too.

Pixels - a log to keep your emotions every day. You select a color correlating to your mood and make notes about it every day. You can be as detailed (or not) as you want, and if you don’t want to leave a comment and just a color, you can do that too! Many things, like the month or year view and colors are customizable.

On my app, I use yellow for the best days, orange for good days, green for fine days, purple for not very good days, and red for really bad days.

Journey - a password protected digital diary (don’t worry, it’s not voice activated) that allows you to free write the same way you would on any other document - with images, gifs, emojis, etc. Plus, you can add voice recordings & attachments! You have the option to back it up, and it will keep all of your data safe and sound.

I love this app because I started using it in January 2017, and I can access all of my entries since then. My favorite is adding everyday pictures because then it reminds me of things I might have forgotten. It will also send reminders when you have an anniversary of an entry with the option to “look back” at it. There is a paid version, which is like $6.99, but I felt like that was worth it for me because I have so many entries from over the years. It’s definitely not a requirement and there’s no pressure to upgrade while using the app.

Stop Panic and Anxiety - This is one of the best meditation apps I have found to date. I typically use the relaxation audio recordings when I’m going to sleep. The audios range from about 15-25 minutes, and they guide you with how to breathe and everything.

There is also the option to use the cognitive diary function. You can choose to make the app password protected, too,  and set up a reminder so you don’t forget. It doesn’t look the prettiest, but it’s awesome just the same!

BONUS: None of these apps cause ads, and only use push notifications if you want them to.

Journaling Considerations

You might be thinking “Well, I’m just not into it. I’ve done it before & it just doesn’t work for me.”

That’s perfectly fine! Journaling is not for everyone. For years I’ve been a proponent, and that’s partly because I love words so much. I realize, though, that words may not have the same effect on others as they do on me. 

Before you give up entirely, though, consider: 

• You don’t have to do the “diary” type of journaling. Whether it’s a matter of time, or whether you live with too many people for it to actually be private, there are other ways to journal and express yourself.

• Just because you try one type of journaling doesn’t mean you have to commit. You can try as many types of journaling as interest you, but just because you try it doesn’t mean you’ll do that same activity the rest of your life. Want to be more satisfied with your life? Focus on finding and writing down one thing you are grateful for every day. Bam! You have yourself a gratitude journal, even if you don’t call it that.

• You can always go digital - for free - if you aren’t feeling the pen and paper journaling concept. Plus, if you go digital, you can password protect your thoughts if you feel like you need to. 

My challenge to you is to read a little about each type of journal and then try one out for a month!

What kinds of journals have you written? Heard of? Thought about trying? I would love to hear about your trials and triumphs! Find me on social media or leave a comment below.

Let’s chat because you, my friend, are on your way to great writing.

How to Write When You Have No Idea Where to Start

UPDATED AUGUST 2020

Have you ever had a great idea for a story/book/writing project, but didn’t know where to start? Or wanted to write but didn’t seem to have any ideas...at all? 

Welcome to the writers club!

Welcome to the writers club!

The desire to write runs strong for a lot of us, and yet, many never live out that dream. Sometimes it’s because life gets busy with significant others, kids, work, and other activities. Sometimes, though, it’s purely because we just don’t know where to start. 

The good news is, even if you don’t have any “good” ideas, you can still write! You don’t need to have an “aha!” moment or a wild inspiration to get going.

What do you do if you have no ideas? 

As much as it seems like prolific writers have an abundance of ideas, not all writing is “inspired.” If you’re fresh out of brilliant ideas, try writing one of these scenarios. Paint the clearest and most concise picture you can. Act as if you were living or reliving the moment. If you need to separate yourself from the experience (because you can’t picture it), write the scene without names using he/she/they or with aliases. 

Tell the story of a supremely happy memory.

Set the scene:

• What happened immediately before the moment?

• What happened in the moment?

• Who was involved in the moment?

• What made the memory so happy?

• What makes this memory so special that it has become your favorite?

Tell the story of a funny situation.

Set the scene:

• What happened immediately before the moment?

• What happened in the moment?

• Why was it so funny?

• What kind of funny was it (Embarrassing, cute, corny, etc.)?

• What was so memorable about the moment? 

Tell the story of a hard situation.

Set the scene:

• What happened immediately before the moment?

• What happened in the moment?

• Was the situation hard mentally, physically, emotionally, or a mixture of everything?

• Who else, if anyone, was involved in the situation?

• What was the outcome?

• How did you overcome?

Tell the story of a crazy dream you had recently.

Write down all the details you can remember about your dream:

• Who was there?

• What they were doing?

• Why they were doing it?

• What did the surroundings look like?

• Was it realistic or fantastic?

• Did it end or was it just a small piece of a bigger dream you don’t remember?

• If it was part of a bigger dream, how would you like it to have ended?

Describe your favorite person.

We all have someone we love(d) dearly, so take some time to appreciate their quirks and things you love about them.

• What do they look like?

• What do they wear?

• How do they act around others? Around you?

• What do they love to do for fun? For work?

• How do they feel about topics important to you? (Such as pets, families, etc.)

• What’s your favorite part about them as a person?

Let yourself think and write freely.

Describe the most meaningful act someone has done for you.

Has someone unexpectedly done a service for you or given you a heartfelt compliment?

Perhaps someone gave you an amazing gift or went out of their way to see you when you were sad.

Describe the time when someone did something meaningful for you.

• What was the act?

• Why was it so meaningful?

• Why did the person do this for you?

• What is your relationship with the person?

• What was your reaction? 

Describe the worst day you’ve ever had.

Everyone has had a “worst day” (sometimes more than one).

Perhaps someone you love passed away, or a long-term relationship became irreparably broken.

Find it in your heart to think about that day.

• What happened from the moment you woke up to the moment the day ended?

• Which parts were particularly harrowing?

• How were the events of your day related?

• How did you feel when you woke up versus when you laid down to sleep at the end of the day?

Describe a day in your dream life.

If money was not a factor in your dream life (assume you have plenty), what would it be like?

Thinking about an ideal day:

• When would you wake up?

• What would you do throughout the day?

• What job would you be doing (or not doing)?

• What adventures would you go on? Who would be by your side?

• Why is this your dream? 

Thinking about your life in moments rather than as a whole is helpful because when we’re thinking about characters, we don’t try to write their lives all at once. Sure, we probably have growth in mind of where they came from and where they’re going, but when you’re in the middle of writing, you probably don’t stop to think, “Wow, John Doe’s life is boring. He doesn’t have any experiences that anyone wants to read about.” You probably don’t want to read a book like that either!

What if absolutely nothing interesting happens in my life and I can’t use that as a starting place?

You might be asking: What if absolutely nothing interesting happens in my life and I can’t use that as a starting place?

First, I promise your life is not that boring! Words are powerful, and when used well, can bring almost any scenario to life. It can be hard to work through this, though, if you are stuck in a rut.

If you have a (self-proclaimed) insufferably boring life, try writing one of these scenarios instead: 

Tell the story of the object closest to you.  

Choose an object around you and think about where it came from.

• What is its function?

• If this object had human characteristics, what would they be? 

Right now, there are approximately 20 Post-It notes (or more) stuck up all over my desk and computer. Everything has a story, and these sticky notes are no different! They were “born” in a factory, packaged nice and orderly, and shipped out all over the world. This pack happened to land here in Indiana, and now has a semi-comfortable life in my top desk drawer.

Tell the story of an everyday hero.

Choose someone who does good in their community and tell their story. It doesn’t have to be someone you know personally. If you don’t know too much, imagine what their life might be like.

If you want to get extra creative, you could even imagine them like an undercover superhero.

• What is their superpower?

• What is their weakness?

Think about people you admire who are role models. Who work hard and literally, or figuratively, saves lives.

For instance, maybe it’s the nurse who took amazing care of your child when s/he had an accident and needed stitches. Or the IT guy you called in a panic because you accidentally downloaded a virus and he managed to save all 8,000 of your documents (that were not backed up anywhere).

Tell the story of a dastardly villain who commits ridiculous crimes.

What is the silliest or most ridiculous crime you can think of?

Got it?

Now, think about the villain who commits this crime.

• What does s/he do? Why does s/he commit the crime?

• What are the effects?

• How do people react to the crimes?

For example, a vandal who is drawing mustaches on all of the upper management’s very expensive oil paintings in the formal workplace.

Have fun with it! 

Describe a day in your own life through your neighbor’s eyes.

Imagine you are your neighbor.

• What parts of your day do they see?

• Do they see or hear your morning routine?

• Do they see when you get home or what your pet does during the day?

• Are they a conspiracy theorist who has a far-fetched impression of your actually quite normal life? 

If you don’t know your neighbors very well (we don’t all have a Homer Simpson/Ned Flanders relationship with the people in our neighborhood), image what they might think.

If you don’t have neighbors, pretend just for a little while you do - what would they think of your life?

Describe a day in your own life through your pet’s eyes.

Imagine you are your pet.

• How do you see yourself from your dog’s eyes?

• What do you think as your human does their morning routine and only gives you absentminded pets?

• Do you love your human unconditionally?

• Or get annoyed they are taking too long to feed you?

I use dog as an example, but if you have a cat, a guinea pig, or even a fish, you could imagine it through that perspective, too. 

Describe a day in your own life through your cell phone’s screen.

Consider what your phone might think, if it had human characteristics.

• Are you glued to your phone 24/7?

• Would it be needy & clingy if you put it down to go out with your family for the evening?

• If you don’t use your phone very much, would it be lonely & longing for attention?

• If you have an older model phone, would it be grumpy and complain when you use it?

• Would it be judging you for your Google searches or the number of texts you sent asking your mom for advice? 

We are inundated with information all the time, so it’s easy to overlook or just plain forget to look at our lives from a different view sometimes.

We are inundated with information all the time, so it’s easy to overlook or just plain forget to look at our lives from a different view sometimes. It’s all about perspective.

These ideas are fun and engaging, and will also help you get a different perspective on your life. Getting out of our own head can be a great key in unlocking our potential when are figuring out how to write when we have no idea where to start.

On the other hand, some writers are blessed with great ideas that seem to never end. The trouble then begins when we sit down to physically write or type, and stare at the blank page for what seems like hours. We might type or write a bunch of titles and delete them because they are terrible. Or maybe they’re not terrible, but they don’t meet the expectations we’ve set up in our minds. 

What’s a writer to do when they have brilliant ideas but too many places (or nowhere) to start?

What’s a writer to do when they have brilliant ideas but too many places (or nowhere) to start?

6 Easy Tricks for How to Start Writing Now

Write a filler sentence or phrase.

You can put any words on the page in whatever order you want. They don’t even have to make sense.

As long as you put words on the page, you’re no longer staring at blank white space.

My personal favorite is “BLAH BLAH BLAH INTRO.” That little fluff line got me through all my grad school papers.

Type or write “Untitled” at the top of the page and have a conversation with your main character about themselves.

Typing Untitled allows you to table the title (for now) and move along. Then, pretend to interview your main character.

Ask them things like “Tell me about yourself” & “Where do you see yourself in 5 years.”

After you pose the question, answer in your character’s voice. 

Describe the most exciting thing about your idea.

What’s the part that gets you most excited about your new idea?

Write it down on the page!

• Is it the characters?

• The setting?

• The bad guy/gal?

Write down the exciting part(s), and then write down why it excites you.  

Describe the setting in your idea.

You have this great idea, and it has to happen somewhere, right?

Write down all the details you’ve thought of about the world where this idea takes place.

Include things like:

• Landscape

• Buildings

• Climate

Anything that helps make this world real for you so you can picture it in your mind.

Describe the main character & profile them.

Maybe you didn’t have an idea about a place, but a person.

Write down everything you know about that person so far.

• What does s/he look like?

• Act like?

• Feel like?

• Also write down the things you don’t know yet.

If you’re not ready to write about what s/he is doing, create a character profile for her/him. For my novel, I used this really cool template from Reedsy to help me begin to figure out the details. 

Write the first thing that comes to mind when you think about your idea.

If your idea is still kind of hazy, clear your mind, and then come back to the idea with fresh eyes.

Write down the first thing that comes to mind when you think about it.

Once you have that, analyze it.

What else do you need to know for this to be a scene or a realistic picture of your idea? 

Not knowing where or how to start writing happens all the time. Every semester, without fail, I see the moment when at least one student gets excited about an idea, which then kind of fizzles out when they realize they have to actually write about it. I always tell them that for a lot of people, starting is the hardest part. Myself included! Hence my BLAH BLAH BLAH INTRO trick - works every time! 

Every piece of writing starts somewhere, even if it’s not what you thought it would be when you first had the idea. You will eventually go back and revise and edit anyway, so you might as well get the idea out onto the page! 

Writing is hard work. It doesn’t matter if you’re brand new or if you’ve been doing it for years. It’s a skill, and hopefully if you want to write, it’s a passion. Remember, starting is the hardest part. 

If you have a passion for your writing project, and you have put words to paper, you have overcome the obstacle that stops a lot of people from writing at all. Take that passion and run with it. Be excited about it! You’ll enjoy where it takes you. 

Have you had an experience where you’ve been stuck on your writing? Where you didn’t feel so great about an idea? Email me at rachel@capturingyourconfidence.com or drop a comment below. I’m always curious to hear about the experiences of fellow writers! 

Next Steps

If you’ve been “stuck” or in a rut with your writing before, you know the frustration of not knowing what to do to start again - or start at all. The next time you have a hard time with how to start writing, try using these prompts & remember that starting is often the hardest part of writing!

So what do you do with this information going forward? There are several simple steps you can take. Notice I didn’t say “easy” - starting and working on a piece of writing isn’t necessarily easy, but it IS worth it.

1. Decide you will write, even if you’re not inspired…Yet.

Do you want to start with one of the prompts above? Or maybe you’ve been inspired to use one of the techniques to get going in your own way? Make the conscious decision that you will write, and then stick to it. Remember, you can always change your writing later, but not if there’s nothing there to work with.

2. Find someone to be accountable with.

Sometimes what we need to make progress is someone to talk through our ideas with, and someone who will help us stay accountable for making progress.

Whether you go with a trusted friend or a professional, make sure that whoever you want to work with will be a) honest and b) tell you what you need to hear, even if it’s not what you want to hear. This generally means try to find another writer. 

If you are interested in working with me, I offer 1:1 accountability sessions for just this reason. A lot of writers don’t have other writers in their life to do this with, at least not friends who they are close enough with to feel comfortable working with in this way. 

I’ve been a writer and writing teacher for years, and I’ve seen almost everything in writing. I’m always going to be honest, but I will always be kind about it. If this sounds like something you want to investigate more, click here to read more about some of the services I offer along with accountability. 

3. Sit down & write

Once you’ve decided you’re going to write, and you’ve found someone to be accountable with, sit down and do the damn writing! Pick one of the prompts above and just go to town. Let yourself feel the words & know that nothing needs to be perfect.

My challenge to you is to sit down within the next week (accountability partner or not) and write. You can set a timer if you like, but make sure to put words on the page.

Have you struggled with how to write in the past? Or where to start? I’d love to hear about your experiences! Find me on social media, drop a comment below, or email me at rachel@capturingyourconfidence.com! 

Let’s chat because you, my friend, are on your way to great writing. 

Do the Thing that Scares You

We’re all scared of something. Personally, one of my biggest fears is bees. There’s nothing really wrong with the buzzy little creatures, but I was attacked by a swarm when I was younger and ever since anything that remotely looks like a bee freaks me out.

Besides these small fears, though, I do have some bigger fears looming that can sometimes seem insurmountable. Will we ever pay off our student loans? What will happen when we have kids? 

Thinking on this bigger scale, what are your fears? The future? Your career (or lack thereof, perhaps)? Serious relationships? Take a moment and just think about it - just the big ones (you don’t have to tell anyone you’re afraid of sleeping with your feet out of the blanket even though you’re an adult). What scares the daylights out of you? Go ahead and make a list while you’re thinking about it.

Now, what excites you?

Now, what excites you? That sweet date night coming up? Working your way into a job you enjoy? Spending time with your family? Take another moment here and consider what makes you excited to get up in the morning. Again, think of the big things. The fact you’re having pancakes for breakfast is exciting, but maybe not quite the stuff of big dreams. (Unless you dream of creating a lifestyle where you have time to have a luxurious pancake breakfast every morning at home in your PJs.) Make another list. They can be on the same piece of paper, or separate. Thinker’s choice. 

Looking at your two lists, what overlaps? 

Looking at your two lists, what overlaps? Does anything you listed as a fear make you a little excited, even though it might make your stomach drop, too? What about the things that excite you? Do those big dreams make you a little afraid, too, even though they would be awesome? 

They probably do! Fear and excitement are both excellent motivators, although they work in different ways.

When you’re afraid of something, you might hedge around it or try to avoid it altogether. But, when you’re excited, you take a breath and lean in to the excitement. Even if it’s difficult or inconvenient, you try extra hard for things that excite you because you want them. Somewhere along the line you decided the excitement was more important than the hard stuff. 

Of course, it’s one thing to be excited and run toward our dreams, but it’s quite another to face our fears and overcome them. 

Hard truth, though. If you’re dreams don’t scare you at least a little bit, they’re not big enough. 

I’m definitely not the first person to think of or believe this, and I won’t be the last. It might even be a cliche. But, it’s true. I was taking a webinar the other day with the fabulous Marie Forleo, and she reminded me how important this statement is. How much of a difference it can make in our lives. 

Hear me out.

If you can turn fear into motivation to get to the things that excite you most, you will be a force to be reckoned with. You will turn yourself into an unstoppable dream-getter. 

If you can turn fear into motivation to get to the things that excite you most, you will be a force to be reckoned with. You will turn yourself into an unstoppable dream-getter. 

So why aren’t we all unstoppable dream-getters? 

• We haven’t figured out what we are afraid of.

• We know what we are afraid of and we avoid it.

• We think we can figure out workarounds for our fears instead of dealing with them head on.

• We let the fear run our lives and convince ourselves we’re okay with it.

• We want to be dream-getters but we don’t know how.

Which of these categories resonates with you? Which have you done or do you actively do that you hate admitting to yourself, even though it’s true? 

It’s okay. 

If you need to read that again, please take the time. 

It’s okay to be afraid and it’s okay that it’s not easy for you to admit, even to yourself, that you’re scared of one of your biggest dreams - let alone to tell someone else. 

It’s okay that you’re a work in progress, because the reality is we are all works in progress. 

Let me share something with you. If you’ve read some of my other blogs about the beginning of my novel writing journey, this will probably sound familiar, but if you’re brand new and you’re wondering who the heck I am, let me tell you. 

I am a writer. I am a novelist. I am a teacher. I am a learner. And I have always loved helping others. 

I am a writer. I am a novelist. I am a teacher. I am a learner. And I have always loved helping others. 

But it took me almost a decade to be able to call myself a writer and really believe it. Seriously. When I was young I wrote prolifically! So much. ALL THE TIME. I went away to college as a Creative Writing major, I was so committed.

During my very first creative writing class, where I was the only freshman among juniors and seniors, the professor gave me some “blunt” comments, shall we say. There were other comments, I’m sure, but “Not Impressed” was the only piece that stuck. It crushed my little 18 year old heart. 

Because of that experience, I stopped writing creatively for SEVEN YEARS. I was afraid to disagree with someone who is an “authority” on writing. I was afraid of other people disliking my writing. I was afraid of not being good enough.

I was afraid to try again because I was sure I was going to get knocked down again, and I didn’t know how to deal with that.  

So I changed my major to Literature and kept writing: essays and research. I loved writing about other people’s writing, and that became the new normal. Over the years I convinced myself I wasn’t creative enough for creative writing. It wasn’t really for me, and I had just grown out of it. I let myself think this way, and did so on purpose. 

BULL. 

That’s right. I was purposely telling myself this bull crap because I was afraid of my writing dream. Even though it had been my dream for my entire life. Crazy, right? But what’s a girl to do? Give up because of one bad experience? 

HECK NO! 

If you’re feeling this way, and you’re tired of letting that fear stop you from doing things you love, here’s what you need to do. 

Step 1: Admit You Are Afraid and Define What You’re Afraid Of

You can’t solve anything if you can’t admit there’s a problem. The very first thing you need to do is acknowledge to yourself that you are afraid of something. You don’t have to tell anyone else if you’re not comfortable. And you don’t even have to write it down. But you have to know, in your own mind, that there is a fear and what it is. Out of all the ways you face your fear, admitting it will most likely be the hardest part. 

Step 2: Figure out Why You Are Afraid

Once you have admitted to yourself that you’re afraid of something and determined what it is, you need to figure out why.

What is it that scares you about this particular dream/experience/goal?

What is it that scares you about this particular dream/experience/goal? Was there some sort of event in your life that caused you to put the breaks on something that previously made you happy? Did you go through a phase where your interests changed and you didn’t really know what was happening? Take time and really dig deep for the “why” - it’s important. 

Step 3: Figure Out the Edges of Your Comfort Zone 

You’re getting there! You know what you’re afraid of and you’ve determined why you’re afraid of it. Now you’re looking directly at your fear, and it might be uncomfortable. Good work. Keep going! Don’t turn back now. I know it’s scary, but now that you have a little better picture of what you’re afraid of, you need to figure out where the edge of your comfort zone lives. 

How have you been talking about or working around this fear? What’s comfortable? Sneak out to the edge and push that a little further. What is slightly uncomfortable? What makes you a little uneasy? Not panicked or tense, but just a little...out of your comfort zone?

Press this a little bit in all directions. See how far you can go without going into panic or shutdown mode. If you will remember where these boundaries are, you don’t need to write them down; but, if you’re like me and think you might forget, go ahead and define them on a piece of paper. 

Step 4: Determine One Small First Step to Face Your Fear

You’ve figured out the very edges of your comfort zone, and that’s great. If you need to take a break, feel free! We can’t always face our fear in one day, sometimes they are just too big. But, when you’re ready, you need to step back out to the edge of your comfort zone. That place where you feel okay, but a little uneasy. If you wrote down your boundaries from Step 3, this is a good time to pull that out and take a look. 

Look at those boundaries and determine one small thing you can do to face your fear.

You’re going to look at those boundaries and determine one small thing you can do to face your fear. Notice I said small. This doesn’t mean go running out into the wild beyond your comfort zone with reckless abandon. On the contrary, look at your fear and your comfort zone and decide on one action you can take in the immediate future to start facing this fear.

For me, this step came in the form of actually putting my writing onto a document and not erasing it. It wasn’t a big step, but it was a step. What can you do that might make you a little uneasy at first, but will be one small step toward your big scary dream? 

Step 5: Set Goals for Your Dream

Whew, take a breath! Whether you’ve taken your first small step or not, you’ve set yourself on a completely different path than when we started here. You’ve made a concrete decision about your fear and you’ve decided to tackle it. Perhaps you’ve even done taken that first step, which is amazing!

After you’ve taken the first small step, take a moment and look at your mindset. Look at your concrete step and where you’ve come so far. Has your fear started to look a little less scary and a little more like a dream? If it hasn’t happened yet, that will come (probably sooner than you think). Once you’ve taken your first action, you need to sit down and set up regular, achievable goals for yourself to kick that fear out of your mind and achieve your dream. 

You can add some bigger goals into the mix, but really think about everyday tasks you know you can complete. For me, the bigger goal will be to get my novel published. But that translates into smaller goals such as writing a new section every week, getting regular feedback on new sections, and taking time to map out where my novel is going.

Notice that none of these things are terribly long and cumbersome. I don’t set a page limit or a word count to reach because I know this will be a deterrent and I will constantly feel bad about my progress if I miss them (which is silly because everything I do that didn’t exist before is progress!) 

Step 6: Name Your Dream and Own It

So you’ve got goals in place? Some reachable, tangible steps you can take toward facing your fear and getting to that big dream? Good job! This stuff is hard work. You’re almost there! This next step might seem easy, but it’s definitely powerful. 

You need to name your dream. Call it what it is. When I started my novel in April after my long hiatus, I was literally calling it a “thing” - a little “writing thing” I was working on. Not a project, and certainly not a book. It took weeks and progress of taking those small steps before I was able to say out loud to myself that I was writing a book. I gave it a name. This was very scary!

When you own your dream, it becomes tangible. It’s not just a nebulous idea, but a goal.

Once you’ve named your dream, you need to own it. Owning it might come with the naming or a little while later. But, when you own your dream, it becomes tangible. It’s not just a nebulous idea, but a goal.

About a week or two after I first called my writing a book, I got up the courage to tell a friend I was working on a novel. It didn’t happen overnight, but once I was able to name it, my dream became a solidified reality. Not just a book, but a novel: my novel. 

Step 7: Work Toward Your Dream

Congratulations! You’ve gotten to the point where you’ve named your dream and started owning it. Is your fear still looming? Or has it receded to the background? 

You have your dream and your plan (and maybe a little bit of nervous energy leftover from that big scary fear). Your job now is to go and work on those goals. Use the remnants of your fear to fuel your motivation. You can do it! After all, you’ve gotten this far, right?

Keep chipping away at your goals, even when you don’t feel like it or it feels impossible. It’s okay to feel that way sometimes, but don’t let it take you back to where you started. Everything you do toward your goals and dreams is progress. No one is perfect, and you don’t need to be! You just need to keep working hard and making an effort. 

Step 8: Reflect

When you achieve your goals, small or large, make sure to leave time to reflect not only on how you feel about your accomplishment, but also how far you’ve come. You can write your thoughts down, jot notes, or just contemplate. Personally, I like keeping my thoughts in writing, but if that’s not you, don’t feel pressured to do so! 

You are powerful. You are an unstoppable dream-getter who doesn’t let fear hold you back. 

This final step is about recognizing to yourself, and others if you want, that you are powerful. You are an unstoppable dream-getter who doesn’t let fear hold you back. 

Whenever you feel like your fear is too much or you find yourself avoiding things because you’re scared of them, take a breath and do it anyway. It may take longer than a day or two - heck, it might even take a really long time! But do the thing that scares you. You and your dreams are worth facing the fear. 

What fears are holding you back? What small steps do you think you can take to face them? Email me at rachel@capturingyourconfidence.com or leave a comment below and let me know! If you’re struggling with this, shoot me an email and let’s talk about it.

8 Simple Habits to Develop Writing Inspiration

UPDATED: May 2020

Do have something you simply have to do before you can really get into your writing? Most writers do! Many have specific habits or even “requirements” for the environment where they are most productive or rituals they must do. 

Many factors go into the decision such as:

Type of writing

Expectations of what to accomplish

How much distraction will detract from what a writer is working on.

Some famous writers had/have crazy writing habits!

Some famous writers had/have crazy writing habits! For instance, writing in the middle of the night, or only two hours a day!

Personally, I don’t feel like I have many required habits for me to feel inspired to get writing.

Writing Inspiration

My Productive Writing Starter Pack: Computer, charging cord, pen & notepad, encouraging Post-It, socks, drink, Charlie (and his rope), and a blanket for when I get cold.

Below are 8 simple writing habits that ensure my writing inspiration & productivity.

Music

1. Turn on Music or a Movie Soundtrack 

Music or a film soundtrack can be an inspirational catalyst. The type of writing we're trying to accomplish can dictate what background sound we play. 

Music

Choosing music is important because it helps create a specific mood and mindset. Music is an emotional experience for many of us, so by choosing something specific, we have a good chance of channeling the kinds of thoughts and emotions we need to be inspired.

Choosing music is important because it helps create a specific mood and mindset.

If I am working on my novel, which is Young Adult (YA) fiction, I tend to choose something that reminds me of when I was in high school and first starting college.

Sometimes that’s Taylor Swift or Aly & AJ.  I also like the 70’s light rock Pandora station because most of the songs don’t require a lot of energy or thinking. I grew up listening to most of the songs, so it’s an easy-listening music experience.  

Taylor Swift concert

Taylor Swift Concert, Red Tour, 2013

Movie Soundtrack

I also love film soundtracks. Movies that we love and have seen a thousand times often bring up memories and emotions that we don't even recognize, but that can be supremely helpful to help us find the words for what we're trying to write.

Movies that we love and have seen a thousand times often bring up memories and emotions that we don’t even recognize.

Braveheart is by far my favorite film soundtrack because of how emotional the music is. Incidentally, you can listen to the whole thing for free on Spotify (you will just need to sign up for a free account)! 

When I am writing emotional scenes or blogs, I listen to a movie soundtrack because I subconsciously recall what emotion is happening during the scene and use that to inspire my words. I also really enjoy Sullivan Entertainment’s Anne of Green Gables (1985) because it’s such a positive story, and the soundtrack reflects that mood. 

Why it Works:

Having some kind of music and/or white noise playing in the background helps reduce the amount of distraction many of us face while writing. Things like kids screaming, dogs barking, or a spouse asking a favor. You know the kind. Music can help block this out and allow us time to really focus on being productive with our writing.

It can also help spark inspiration when we know we need to write but feel utterly uninspired. If you don't know where to start writing, turn on some of your favorite tunes and see what kinds of memories and ideas start popping up!

Close Email

2. Close Email & Put Phone Away

Before you outright reject this strategy, let me give you some background info! For those of us in administrative jobs, especially customer or client-facing roles, we don't really have the opportunity to just disconnect during the day. We never know when something might catch fire that we have to put out!

There are also many of us who work second jobs, which doubles the email expectations. Having email on our phone almost becomes a necessity.

We also can’t predict when anyone will call or text throughout the day. Sometimes it’s a spouse, but sometimes multiple family members, friends, and the pharmacy service all text and call. It really depends on the day.

The constant word stimulation is definitely a distraction from any type of writing we might be doing.

The constant word stimulation is definitely a distraction from any type of writing we might be doing. Have you ever started writing something, even just a sentence, and all the sudden an email pinged into your inbox on your computer or phone? Suddenly, your brain starts wondering what's in the email and if someone will need an immediate response. There goes any inspiration or productivity you might have!

If I get the chance to write at work, I set a timer for having all of this turned off so I don’t miss anything important, but can still focus. If I’m at home, it’s definitely easier to disconnect, and will often (to the annoyance of my husband) turn my phone on silent altogether. 

Why it Works:

How much can you get done when your inbox is pinging constantly? Or when messages are pouring in? (We see you, group texts.) No one can function efficiently like that, especially writers! Your writing inspiration and productivity will get a quick boost when you close email and put away your phone.

I don't even keep my sound on most of the time like everyone else, so I can't imagine what it's like for writers who keep their sound on. The same goes for phone use. If you're going in and out of a text convo, or people keep calling you, both your writing and the conversations are going to be worse for the wear.

Close Tabs

3. Close Tabs (Especially Social Media)

How many tabs do you have open in your browser right now? I have 12. Would I try to write with this many tabs open? HECK NO.

Like email, having a bunch of web pages open is a total distraction from our writing - the exception being if you are using one or two of them for research or something directly related to your writing.

Be honest, though, how many of your tabs are actually productive? 

Be honest, though, how many of your tabs are actually productive? How many are social media?

Social media sends out an insane number of notifications by the hour - sometimes more! Just like an email dinging into your peaceful workspace, it throws us completely out of our focused writing mindset.

So although it's hard, we need to close tabs and make sure to shut down all of our social media when we are trying to connect with our writing inspiration and be productive.

When I say social media, I mean:

Instagram

Twitter

Facebook

LinkedIn

Pinterest (although it's not a true social media)

AND anything else you're checking regularly for social updates.

Note: I know we can turn off the notifications for all of these; however, being able to click on the notification when I have time has proven to be helpful, especially as I interact with a lot of people directly for business.

Why it Works:

You just posted the cutest picture on Insta and you can't wait to see who likes it. You just found the funniest joke to tweet. You need to get to promoting that new blog on Facebook! Or find beta readers for your novel!

It’s a great feeling to to see people interacting with your content. 

I get that.

It's a great feeling to to see people interacting with your content. But you have to have time away from social media to create that amazing content that keeps people coming back for more! You can't fully focus on your writing if you're watching your phone or browser like a hawk for new notifications.

Pen and Paper

4. Have Pen & Paper Ready to Go 

Do you ever have a stray thought that has nothing to do with what you are working on? I know I do! Sometimes our brain has more of these moments when we're trying to write because it's looking for a way out, a way to distract itself from being productive. Or realizing that we're not inspired.

If we really want writing inspiration, we need to cut out the excuses and distractions and get productive.

It’s important to have a place to jot these thoughts down that’s not on the computer and/or document you're working on. If we really want writing inspiration, we need to cut out the excuses and distractions and get productive.

When I suddenly remember I need to answer an email by the end of the day, my blog post or novel is not the place to write that down. For one, I definitely won't find it again in time. Not to mention that I will keep seeing that reminder for the remainder of my writing time, which tanks my momentum.

Why it Works:

Writing things down by hand helps you remember things. Scientists study this all the time! In my experience, though, when you write things down in the wrong place, you STILL forget, only then it's worse because you know you wrote it down but you can't remember where!

Don't do this to yourself. Keep a pen and paper nearby when you're writing so you can easily come back to your ideas later.

Laptop Charged

5. Have Laptop Charged & Charging Cord Nearby

If you are writing on a desktop, you obviously don't need a cord because you're connected to the wall, which is great!

But, if you're like many writers and writing on a laptop, it's so important that you make sure to keep your laptop charged when you want to write. If your computer is a little older or otherwise prone to losing charge quickly, it's also important to keep the charging cord nearby.

Excuses seem to multiply like rabbits when we're low key trying to avoid our project(s) from a lack of writing inspiration or motivation.

This is imperative because when we sit down to write, and we're not “in the zone” yet or having trouble focusing, we tend to get up and do any number of things instead of actually getting writing done. Excuses seem to multiply like rabbits when we're low key trying to avoid our project(s) from a lack of writing inspiration or motivation.

Such an easy step to make sure we stay on target!

Why it Works:

You can't type out writing if your computer is dead can you? I mean you could, on a phone or tablet, but will you? You can't make this excuse to get up and away from focusing on your writing if you have already prepared!

Even worse than not being able to work, if you're writing and your computer dies, you may or may not be able to get all that hard work back when you charge up again. This is a major bummer, believe me from experience!

Location

6. Location Matters

Some people have to be at a certain place to get a lot done. I know many writers who need to be at their desk or have certain lighting to get into their ideal writing zone.

This habit is all about figuring out where you do your best work.

Where we are has a lot of impact on what and how we think. This habit is all about figuring out where you do your best work.

When I was in graduate school, I loved to hole up in a library study room or in our home office. I find I don’t really need a particular place, now, though. I will usually either write at my desk, in my journal in bed, or on the couch snuggled up with my dog, Charlie. He is the best (and cuddliest) supporter during the times when I’m writing like a maniac. 

Why it Works:

Location is very personal, unlike some of the other habits we've talked about. You might be open, like I am, but you might need a little more quiet or more structure.

I know plenty of people who prefer a table to using their laptop on the couch. It's all about figuring out how you can be comfortable and leveraging your environmental preferences to get your writing done.

Writing Medium

7. Decide on Writing Medium

There are all sorts of ways to write in the digital age! Of course you can always trust in a good old pen and paper routine. But there's also Google Docs, Microsoft Word, notepad (search your computer for the app), Microsoft OneNote, Evernote, Wattpad, and the list keeps gong on and on. How you write is really personal because you are the one working in it on all your projects.

I used to prefer writing in a Word document and emailing myself back and forth. The problem being that if I forget to send that email...well, I would have to wait until I was back at that computer to work more on the piece of writing because I was saving locally to my computer. 

How you write is really personal because you are the one working in it on all your projects.

Nowadays, Microsoft 365 is a game changer with Sharepoint and cloud-hosting, so you can access your documents similarly as you do with Google Drive.

My preferred medium now is Google Docs, where everything is instantly saved online, so I can access it wherever I can get internet. I can work at home, at work, and even on my phone! We have the Google Pixel phones, so all of my documents and things sync together nicely. 

Why it Works:

When you pick a medium and stick to it, you know, reliably, that your documents will be safely waiting for you each time you go to write. Make sure you have a way to back up your work, whichever medium you choose.

I have to say, Google Docs is pretty dang great! I love the fact that I can write something on one computer when I'm out, it saves to the cloud, and I can pull it right back up when I get home. I don't have to worry about forgetting to save and send or taking my flash drive with me, and neither do you!

Comfortable

8. Make Sure You're Comfortable

This is probably the most important habit because being uncomfortable is the ultimate distraction. Who can pay attention when they're sweating or freezing? When their feet are cold or they've been sitting on a hard chair so long that they don't know if they can get back up normally again. No one! We've got to be comfortable when we write.

Personally, this habit is tricky for me because I’m fidgety. I don’t do well sitting down without moving for long periods of time, and I get cold very easily. 

We've got to be comfortable when we write.

I typically sit cross-legged or with one leg tucked underneath me whether I’m in a computer chair or on the couch. I always wear layers, and have a pair of socks on hand for when my toes inevitably turn into ice cubes. Sometimes I even have to go get my slippers in the middle of summer! Interestingly, I find it more distracting to have cold toes than walk away and get my slippers. 

I tend to move around and sit in different positions throughout the time I spend writing, that way I can remain as comfortable as possible. There’s nothing worse than having an aching tailbone right when you’re about to write about someone’s first kiss! 

Why it Works:

Your body is super important to your writing. When you're not on your game physically, you probably can't be at your best or most productive in your creativity. You know yourself best, so you know if your toes get cold when you sit down for a long time. Or, if your eyes hurt from looking at your computer screen for a long time you probably need blue light glasses or the free Flux app to help you out.

Your body is super important to your writing. When you’re not on your game physically, you probably can’t be at your best or most productive in your creativity. 

There will always be more habits that could be helpful, but these are critical. Making sure to build these habits over time will really help writing inspiration and productivity!

If you're like me, though, and inspiration strikes, we are on it. We get the words onto the page as soon as we can, lest we forget anything (short term memory is definitely not my strong point!).

Sometimes I can get to my computer, but sometimes I can’t. I have written in almost every medium! There’s a section of my novel that was typed on my phone in the Google doc when I was laying in bed trying to go to sleep. As it turns out, it was a full three pages. There were also several sections handwritten late at night when I got inspired right before bed.

Once you start writing you'll figure out how to best tame and create your habits.

What are your writing habits? What do you need to write productively? If you don’t have any, you’ll get there! Don’t feel pressured into doing anything crazy. Set your own goals and work towards achieving them.

I would love to hear more about your writing habits and rituals!  Drop a comment below, find me on social media, or shoot me an email at rachel@capturingyourconfidence.com! Let's chat.

Inspiration in Odd Places - Where Do You Go to Get Inspired?

Do you ever have that stray thought that’s absolutely brilliant...and don’t have anywhere to write it down OR your phone? So you can’t even text it to yourself? 

This happens to me all the time. In fact, most of my best thinking happens when I have no opportunity to write any of it down. 

Cue the voice memo (if I have my phone). Or, once I realize it’s a great thought, I try to repeat it over and over again so I don’t forget the most important part. At least if I get the main idea down, the other stuff will come back, right? Sometimes. 

But sometimes once I jot down the main idea, other, even better thoughts come out of it. I can expand that thought into several. I can create characters or scenes from it. I am inspired!

This is awesome because, as writers, we aren’t always inspired. Most days we don’t just wake up and have a complete vision for what we want to write that day. Or even where we see our work going at all. In my experience, your original “vision” usually changes by the end anyway. 

So when we can inspire ourselves or have a moment of clarity here and there, no matter where it is, it can fuel our writing and make it better. 

Here are the top places and situations I tend to get the best thoughts, some more inconvenient than others, and what I do to incorporate those into my writing. The last action always being to write it down with as much detail as possible, as soon as possible. 

The Car

If you read my blog on how I started my novel, you’ll know that the initial thought started as a brief dream, but grew into a full creative piece in the car on my way home from an event.

My old car got totaled in February, and we had to buy a new one. Sassy Sally is awesome!

This is how powerful car thinking can be! I don’t necessarily mind long drives anymore, as I went away to college and (gradually) learned to get over my fear of highway driving and cruise control. I blare my music, and it gives me time to think whatever I need or want to think. 

In the instance of my novel, it turned a “What the heck was this dream about?” thought into an entire novel idea with pretty well visualized characters and somewhat of a plot. This isn’t the only time this has happened, either. Just the other day, I was thinking about ideas for my blog in the car, and like 3 separate ideas popped into my mind. 

Of course, you can’t just whip out your phone and type those into a note or a text when you’re driving, so you can be left hanging. (If you do text while driving, please stop, for your safety, and those around you.)

What to do when inspiration strikes: 

• If you have a phone with voice command, command it! I have a Google phone, so I can just tell it “Hey Google, make a list, remind me…” Siri & Alexa work the same way. This allows you to still be hands free, but get your ideas somewhere to reference them later.

• Think through the idea in as much detail as you can. The more detail you add, the better picture you create in your mind, which means you have a higher chance of remembering at least the main points.

The Shower

I typically shower in the evening, as I find it relaxing. I also have way too much hair to want to blow dry and style it every morning. The problem with this is that as I am winding down for the day, my mind does one of two things: 1) It calms down like a normal brain and begins to think about getting sleepy OR 2) It goes into hyper mode because it realizes that this is the last chance of the day to think productive thoughts. 

Most nights, my mind takes option two and just goes haywire. Sometimes it’s about the blog or about my book. Sometimes it’s about my classes and how I can get my students engaged with the material. Sometimes I just think about random things that happened throughout the day. 

But of all the places to have a great writing thought, the shower is probably the worst. At least for me. Think about it: you don’t have a pen and paper, or even just a pen to write on your hand (kicking it old school over here). You don’t have your phone or other electronic device to voice record or type. You’re literally just in there with your body and your soap. 

What to do when inspiration strikes: 

• Roll your eyes dramatically and sigh. You don’t really have to do this. It’s pretty dramatic, really. I’ve come to realize that this is, in fact, part of my process every single time, though. For whatever reason, the shower seems to go much more quickly after that sigh.

• Think through the idea in as much detail as you can. As in the car, if you can create more detail and think through the “why” of the idea, you have a better chance of remembering when you can write it down.

Walking the Dog

I love walking my little guy, and he loves it, too. It gives us both a chance to get out of the house and allows me a break from screen time and technology. 

Charlie

Inevitably, we get around the block or away from home and I see something really cute (I see you sweet neighborhood dogs and toddlers learning to walk) or a really pretty plant and it inspires a half a thought. What if so-and-so saw this in my book? 

By the end of the block I’ve got a whole little scene or conversation in my mind, and clearly, nothing to write it on. Honestly, this one is the best case scenario for me because I am close to home, and know that I will be able to write it down soon. 

What to do when inspiration strikes: 

• Observe your surroundings closely. Is there a particular detail that struck your fancy? Try to remember that object or dog or toddler and what’s going on around it. Why did it inspire you? What was it about the moment that caught your eye?

• Tell your idea to your dog. Let’s be honest: your dog is probably a good listener who won’t talk back, and s/he is a captive audience during the walk because s/he literally can’t go more than about 20 feet away from you. Now, I might suggest looking around and seeing if you will have an audience before you talk to your dog like s/he’s a human...but, I’ve been known to talk to Charlie even when there are people around. I swear he understands half of what I’m saying, or at least he makes a good show of pretending to figure it out. He likes when I talk to him (even if he doesn’t understand), and your dog probably does, too!

Trying to go to Sleep

If my mind hasn’t gotten over its thinking frenzy when I get done showering, it’s inevitable that I will keep thinking when I’m trying to go to sleep. 

Usually this is because I’m just so excited about the idea that I want to keep thinking about it even though I need to stop. Or it could be because I am dreading something the next day and don’t want to go to sleep. 

Either way, it’s super inconvenient because I will be doing all of my other bedtime routines and then actually laying down, and this thought will still persist and grow more details. It can be like it has a mind of its own. 

What to do when inspiration strikes: 

• Write it down quickly with the details you have right now. As you can probably tell, I’m usually all about the details; however, sometimes enough is just enough. I always keep a notepad and pen next to the bed for exactly this reason. Write down what you have and put it away for the night. You can pick it up the next day. Sometimes you might even dream about it and get more from it!

• Type it out in a note or text message on your phone. If you don’t like physically writing things down, or you have already turned off the light, you can always make a note on your phone or put your idea in a text message for later. Word to the wise: don’t type your idea out in a message to someone who immediately texts back, just in case you accidentally send it. They will be confused, and you might be too if you don’t remember what you were trying to remind yourself.

In a Meeting

Even if I am paying the most attention in a meeting, on occasion, someone will say something striking and turn my thoughts in a completely different direction. Because of my job, I am usually delegated to take notes, so when my mind wanders off, the notes are not very good. 

Kind of like a keynote speaker at graduation. You have the best intentions of hearing all the takeaways, but you get 2 deep and your mind starts wandering a little bit. This could be a good or bad thing, depending on how far down that path you go. 

This can be problematic for both the meeting and the idea! You can’t focus on either one, and reasonably, you should probably prioritize the meeting notes in this case. 

What to do when inspiration strikes: 

• Jot it down on your notepad. I usually have a notepad I’m taking notes on, so I’ll write it on the side or top margin and draw a bubble around it so I can easily tell it’s separate from the notes. You can delineate however you like, but make sure it’s separate.

• Type it out on a blank Microsoft Word document and send it to yourself. If you’re a typist and you take your notes on the computer, popping open a new email, typing the thought out quickly, and saving for later is a quick and easy way to keep the thought separate. You can then send it to yourself and voila!

Obviously these are some unusual, and sometimes inconvenient, places to be inspired. I know I’m not the only one, though, and there are definitely other places this happens! 

Where do you find yourself getting inspired? And when you have that inspiration, how do you hold onto it? 

I always love hearing about other people’s writing processes!

Are You Afraid to Write? I Was, Too.

I’ve been making up stories and delighting in trying to figure out what characters would do since I was a little girl. I had stacks and stacks of short stories and pieces of novels written out in various stages of handwriting that has changed over the years. 

But when I got to college as a creative writing major, I got my first real critics. You know, the ones who actually give you advice on how to make your writing better. Or the ones who say:

“This just isn’t working, and I don’t know why.” 

Eighteen year old me had never had that kind of criticism before. Not only that, but eighteen year old me didn’t know what to think or how to make it better. And the people who were giving me criticism were more than a little vague. 

The nail on the coffin of my writing dreams (for a long time) was the comment from my professor at the end of my first, and only college level creative writing class, who wrote on my story “Not impressed.” in red ink at the end. 

Being the sensitive type, I cried. More than once. Due to other circumstances I changed schools, but I also changed majors. I switched and did my undergraduate degree in Literature because I could analyze the heck out of other people’s writing without fear of having my own creative thoughts critiqued. 

I told myself that maybe I wasn’t really meant to write. At least not like that. I told myself that I just wasn’t as creative as other writers. I didn’t want it enough. I didn’t know anyone else who was writing what I was writing, so I didn’t have a sounding board. 

I wish I could have reality checked myself sooner. All of that stuff that I told myself for so long? Complete bologna. Absolute bull. Part of writing is being critiqued, and we have to learn to grow from it rather than being destroyed by it. Super hard lesson to learn, at least for me. 

So why in the world did I let that one experience define my writing life for so long? Good question. Until recently, I didn’t know. I thought it was because I was just too sensitive. (True, but not the reason.) Or maybe I was on a path to writing I just couldn’t see yet (also true, but still not the reason.) 

I was scared. Utterly terrified...

I was scared. Utterly terrified that someone wouldn’t like my writing. That my writing wasn’t that good. That I just didn’t have any creative ideas to write about in the first place. That even if I did write something really good, no one would care (family and friends aside). 

As a confident adult, though, I’ve realized that hardly any of those things are 1) valid and 2) reasons to stop doing what I love and what makes me feel fulfilled.

Here are a few specific fears you might have had and what you can do about them. 

“No one will like my writing.”

Undertone: I need people to like me. I need people to validate my writing.

To ask yourself:

• Why do you think this?

• How do you know?

• Have you experienced this before? If so, what feedback did you get?

• Who are you writing for/to?

Actions to take: 

• Continue to write anyway.

• Consider writing a different genre. So you didn’t do so well on a book? Why not try a short story or poem.

• Look for a different audience. Maybe your writing is engaging, but the wrong people were reading it. If your friend doesn’t like romance books and you ask her to read yours, she might not like it as much as someone who reads them regularly.

Thoughts from others: Tucker Max does a great piece on book writing fears in his blog Scribe.

“My writing isn’t good.”

Undertone: I’m not talented. I don’t have it in me to create something good. 

To ask yourself: 

• What do you already know about?

• What areas do you feel confident about?

• Why do you think your writing isn’t good?

• How do you define “good”?

Action(s) to take:

• Continue to write anyway.

• Practice. Practice makes perfect! No one is born the perfect writer. All the greats had to practice to get where they are/were, too.

• Read about how to write, and read good writing. There are plenty of great “how-to” books or books on crafting your writing. If your definition of “good” writing is really specific, you should also read that type of writing and dissect it. What is the writer doing? For what reasons?

Thoughts from others: Writer Dan Shewan has some tips to improve your writing, if you’re still feeling like you need some help. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0JMCgBjTUg4

"Writing should be feelingful." - Richard Walter

“I am not inspired. I don’t have any great ideas.”

Undertone: I don’t have ideas that are worthy of other people’s time.

To ask yourself: 

• What are your ideas?

• What makes an idea worthy of someone’s time?

• If you have ideas and they aren’t worthy right now, what could you do to get them there?

• Who are the “people” and why are you worried about wasting their time?

Action(s) to take:

• Continue to write anyway.

• Go somewhere new. Take a walk around the block. Take a short day trip. Go see your parents or a friend. Walk the dog. Do something besides stare at the paper. Think about other things, and when you come back, you will have a little different perspective.

• Brainstorm your ideas and then pick one to write about. Look, not all of our ideas can be winners, right? That doesn’t mean that you don’t have any good ideas! Once you put them on the page together, you will be able to see which ones might work and which ones sounded cool in your head, but not on paper. Once you have a list, pick one and do some freewriting on it - whatever comes to mind.

Thoughts from others: The Write to Done Blog offers 31 ways to find inspiration when you’re just not feeling it. SmartBlogger offers a whopping 99 ways! 

“No one will care about my writing, even if it turns out well.”

Undertone: I need someone to validate me. I need people to care about what I’m saying for it to be worth it. 

To ask yourself: 

• Who do I need to care about my writing?

• Why do I want them to care?

• What would happen if I wrote something just for me?

• How will I know if it is good?

Action(s) to take:

• Continue to write anyway.

• Write something personal. Write about something that hurts. Something that’s happy. Something that makes you laugh! You don’t have to share it, but write it. Even if you don’t share it, you still know that you did it. And, you can always come back to it later.

• Write something that you want to write about and share it with someone you know will be honest with you. This is probably a hard step. But, when you write something that makes you happy, or sad, or whatever it is, someone around you will be interested. Even if it’s just because they want to support you, are curious, or just plain care about you as a person. Be brave and send that writing to someone who will tell you what they actually think instead of just the fluff and stuff comments.

Thoughts from others: Writer Jenna Moreci offers some sage advice about doubting your writing. (Just a heads up, there is some swearing!)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HMwAXZ0v76c

“I’m creative, but I’m not a writer.”

Undertone: I can’t do it. I don’t have the skills. I don’t know where to start.

To ask yourself: 

• What can I do?

• Where do other people start?

• What would happen if I started something in the middle or wrote about exactly what I’m thinking at this moment?

• What makes someone a writer? What if you were a writer?

Action(s) to take:

• Continue to write anyway.

• Do something creative & then write about it. If you’re creative (but not a writer) then it should be fairly easy to create something, right? Create that something you are inspired to create, or you have been thinking about for a long time. Once it’s created, write it’s story. Why did you create it? What does it mean to you?

• Ask yourself why you don’t feel like a writer. You don’t have to actually ask out loud, if you don’t want to, but you should have a serious conversation/contemplation with yourself about why you don’t think you’re a writer. A lot of times this can come from imposter syndrome, but sometimes it’s a simple matter of how we define what a writer is.

Thoughts from others: Published writer Christian Fink-Jensen talks about six qualities that make up a successful author. Fink-Jensen focuses mostly on authorship of a book, but the six qualities absolutely apply to any type of writer you want to be. 

So, are you scared? That’s okay! I didn’t share my novel with anyone until very recently! I’m talking within the last month. You can do it, though. Really. I believe in you, and you should, too.

I’d love to hear about your writing and your journey!

I Love Writing, But...5 Excuses That Hold Us Back From Our Writing

As writers, we love to create. We love the feeling of putting our words on paper, of inspiring others or drawing out emotion, and that feeling of accomplishment when something feels “complete.” But sometimes what we love doesn’t quite translate into what we do. 

There are days, weeks, or even longer periods where we simply don’t make time for what we love. I waited years to begin writing again. It was such a long time that I almost forgot I had a writing voice in the first place. I made these choices despite the fact that writing has always been my favorite hobby and biggest talent. 

Sometimes we use “busy” as an excuse because we are scared or discouraged.

Sometimes we might be genuinely busy with work, family, or community commitments. There have been several periods when I’ve been in college or grad school working a job or two on the side. There have also been times when I’m working a full time job and adjuncting in the evenings. 

Sometimes, though, we use “busy” as an excuse because we are scared or discouraged. I know I am guilty of this. I mean, I made excuses not to write for 7 years! That’s almost a decade. But here’s the thing: I thought about writing. All. The. Time. Perhaps not every day, but certainly every week. 

Every time, I told myself at least one of the statements below. Here are some ways that I’ve figured out to fight these excuses (they were always excuses for me) and make time for my writing.

Not enough time

I’m too busy. I don’t have enough time.

This is probably the most “comfortable” fallback of any I’ve ever used to convince myself I don’t need to write. It’s definitely one of the excuses I’ve used the most. I have come to realize, though, that no matter how busy I am, if I can make time for just 10-15 minutes of concentration on my writing, it actually relieves stress. It doesn’t matter if it’s the worst thing I’ve ever written - if I get something down onto the page and it gets me out of my head for a few minutes in an otherwise stressful day, it’s worth it to me. 

No matter how busy I am, if I can make time for just 10-15 minutes of concentration on my writing, it actually relieves stress.

I have taken to writing at lunch on especially busy days. If I am in meetings all day or have an abundance of tasks to complete, setting aside 20 minutes (and putting it on the calendar!) to eat my lunch and jot down some thoughts is soothing. When I am done, I feel much more relaxed and ready to take on the rest of the day.

Setting a timer is also helpful when I am extremely busy. This works during lunch when I’m writing, but even more so when I’m at home. Having a time dedicated to something I love, even if it’s just 15-30 minutes when the whole weekend is packed with engagements and responsibilities is invaluable and refreshing. 

Family first

Family first. I don't have time.

First, your family is absolutely important! Especially if you have kiddos at home! We don’t have any yet, but from my limited experience, it’s a pretty crazy adventure to undertake, and you might not always be able to just set a 20 minute timer and ignore everything else. Pets and significant others are also a big factor. After a long day of being at work, your spouse might need some TLC. And, I don’t know about your pets, but my dog definitely needs some me time for belly rubs and such when I get home. 

You might not always be able to just set a 20 minute timer and ignore everything else.

What has worked for me with a husband and dog is to write when they are asleep. This could be early morning or late at night. Or, sometimes if they are napping on a weekend, right during the middle of the day. This is a way to get some “me” time in with my writing without taking time away from other family-oriented activities. 

The other thing that I’ve done is to make my little family part of my process whenever I can! My dog, Charlie, is the best little cuddle bug on gray days when I’m trying to make excuses not to write. He will curl up next to me and take a snooze while I get some writing done. I will often ask my husband a question (usually very random with a “Wait, what?” response) about whether something is plausible or believable. I think this could also work with older kids, if they enjoy being creative and like to try doing what mom/dad do. Help them get started on their own story, or have them draw a picture story. 

Inspiration

I don't have inspiration.

Whoa is this familiar! "I don't have inspiration" combined with “I’m too busy. I don’t have time.” is such a powerful deterrent - especially when you tell yourself that over and over again. I get it. Some people just seem to be overflowing with inspiration and always seem to be working on something different. And here you are with half an idea that’s barely even a whole thought. 

Hard truth? You know all about yourself and have unique experiences that no one else has had.

But, hard truth? You know all about yourself and have unique experiences that no one else has had. Even if others have gone through something similar, in the end, no one is you! So, start by writing what you know. Write about your experiences, the people in your life, the things you love (or hate), or even things that inspire you. Maybe you have something in your life that doesn’t “look” like an inspiration for expressing yourself, but it might be if you give it a chance.  

If you’re thinking that you’re still not inspired by your own life or circumstances, why not think about what you would like to learn? What big questions do you have and how would you answer those right now, at this very moment? How would you go about finding a better answer, if there is one? 

My life is boring

I don’t have anything to write about. My life is boring.

How many times have you told yourself that your life is boring and no one cares what small problems you have going on? How many times have you looked at someone else and thought about how exciting their life must be? Even if no one will ever read it, consider writing about your own life. You could do creative nonfiction essays, like my good friend Courtney, or you could fictionalize it like I have. You could even start a journal for complete privacy.

Writing down bits and pieces of your life will become valuable to you at a later time.

Any way you choose, writing down bits and pieces of your life will become valuable to you at a later time. I have journals from when I was a teenager and first time college student and it is a hoot (and most times quite dramatic) to read about my life and feelings at those points in time. 

What’s going on in your life right now? What hurts? What makes you happy? When my grandma died 5 years ago, one of the ways I learned to cope with it is to write about her. It was tremendously sad, as we were very close, but it was also cathartic. On the other hand, has anything great happened? Have you had a big milestone, made a life-decision, or perhaps even just made a new friend? Write about it! It will continue to give you joy even as the excitement fades.  

Not that good

I’m not that good at writing.

I hear this a lot from my students. For many, there is this constant nagging fear that someone will read their writing, which they are not confident about, and think poorly of them because of it. A note on this from a college English instructor: it’s probably not that bad. I haven’t read your writing (yet), but almost 100% of the time, it’s not as bad as you think. And, if it is, you can always add to it and change it! Good writing is not a one and done activity, it’s a process. 

I haven’t read your writing (yet), but almost 100% of the time, it’s not as bad as you think. And, if it is, you can always add to it and change it!

If you are inspired and passionate about something and you want to write about it, no one has to read it! You could keep a journal or write a story and keep it to yourself. If you want to write, you should do it. If you are that worried about it being “bad,” email me and we will talk about it!

No one should feel afraid to express themselves in writing because of something that someone else thinks. Believe me, in the long run, you will regret not writing down your ideas more than you will regret someone telling you it was “bad,” especially when it probably just needed some extra love and attention.  

Obviously these are not the only excuses we use. These are simply some I have found most common in my own life, have heard from other writers, and that students have told me when I am teaching. 

What are some excuses you have made or reasoning you have used that has stopped you from writing? Did you encounter actual problems or did you use them because you were scared? How did you overcome them? What did you do during times when you couldn’t overcome?

If you’re in one of those periods now, I’d love to chat and help you figure it out! Drop a comment below or email me at rachel@capturingyourconfidence!