5 Lifestyle Tweaks That Can Significantly Up Your Happiness Game and Well-Being

Did you know researchers determined that three primary factors affect happiness levels, and only 10% of happiness is determined by external circumstances? Genetics (50%) and intentional activities (40%) make up the primary pieces of the pie. This was a very powerful revelation for me. It suggests that intentional activities offer the most promising means to increase and sustain levels of happiness.

I became an intentional warrior about everything—thoughts/affirmations, diet, sleep, exercise, gratitude, faith, social support, vision, goals, etc. Literally everything. Cultivating happiness is a constant practice. Your daily life, ergo your state of mind, is dictated by your daily choices day in and day out. Small, consistent steps are the foot soldiers that win the crusade for hope and happiness. You have to be in it to win it.

This means living with intention and not just operating on autopilot; creating a life based on choices, not habits; and practicing the sort of person you want to be each day. Sounds simple? It is. But it's not easy. It takes commitment and intention. But it doesn’t have to be overwhelming.

Here are 5 lifestyle tweaks that can significantly up your happiness game and well-being.

1. Gratitude

The research on the benefits of gratitude is undeniable. Studies show gratitude to be associated with greater happiness, life satisfaction, joy, and self-esteem. An attitude of gratitude is also associated with reduced depression, anxiety, bitterness, and loneliness. It rewires your neural pathways for good. It’s the easiest thing to practice and the payoff is enormous.

2. Thoughts/Affirmations

Excessive and ruminating negative thoughts and emotions are literal poison to your soul and use neural pathways as their means of attack. When you subject your brain to constant negative thoughts and emotions, you actually change its physical structure—and not in a good way. Sadly, the brain can’t differentiate between actual threats and perceived threats. Losing one’s job and worrying about losing one’s job can wreak the same neural and emotional havoc. Ironically, research suggests that approximately 85% of what we worry about never happens. So, you need to guard your thoughts and internal dialogue.

Moreover, evidence-based research shows that affirmations rewire the brain on a cellular level. It makes sense, really. If crappy self-talk can adversely wire the brain, then positive affirmations can interrupt those maladaptive neuro-nets and rewire your brain for happiness. When you engage in positive affirmations, the neural magic happens. Remember how the brain can’t tell the difference between a real threat and a perceived threat? The sword cuts both ways and works to your benefit with positive affirmations. Since the mind can’t tell the difference between real and pretend, affirmations can program your mind into believing a stated concept. Ah-mazing!

3. Social Support

The Beatles were on to something with their hit “All You Need is Love.” Countless studies show that love and social support are associated with greater happiness, life satisfaction, longevity, and physical health. Moreover, a meta-analysis of studies found that lack of social connections/loneliness carries the same health risks as smoking, obesity, not exercising, and alcoholism—sobering statistics. So, grow your garden of social support…it’s one of the best investments you can make.

4. Faith.

I’m not looking to proselytize. I avoid people who do that like the plague. But there’s just no getting around the fact that studies have determined faith to be an integral and significant predictor of happiness. And by faith, I’m not talking about confidence in Tom Brady’s throwing arm or J. Lo’s unparalleled ability to twerk. I’m talking about the Big Guy (or Girl), Universe, Spirit, Supreme Being, or whomever that higher power may be to you. For me, it’s God.

By “faith,” I’m referring to spirituality in all its forms, not any type of organized religion. Spirituality is universal. The specifics may vary, but all cultures have the concept of a sacred, divine force. Spirituality acts like a lamp, a guidepost. It lights your path during life’s darkest moments and allows the joyous moments to shine even brighter. Believing in something bigger than you; being about something more than you…is where it’s at.

5. Sleep/Diet/Exercise.

Lifestyle choices such as diet, exercise, and sleep patterns affect your brain’s health and neuroplasticity and your happiness. If you don’t think your daily habits affect your happiness, you’re fooling yourself. You can read every self-help book, keep a gratitude journal, and meditate daily, but if the rest of your lifestyle is junk food, sugary energy drinks, alcohol, little exercise, and poor sleep habits, it’s a happiness house of cards. Life and happiness are the sum of all your choices. Choose wisely.

I would love to cultivate “happiness happening” where people become intentional and invested in daily practices to maintain their mental well-being.

In Happy AF: Simple Strategies to Get Unstuck, Bounce Back, and Live Your Best Life, we explore a whole host of strategies, all backed by research, that can help you up your happiness game. There’s no one-size-fits-all approach, which is why we examined so many different strategies. Try each one on and see what works best for you. Just like any road trip, there is more than one way to get there. Have happiness habits be the norm rather than the exception. That way, the next time a storm comes (and it will), your happiness will not be easily swayed, helpless like a leaf in the wind; you’ll be firmly tethered, rooted in your happiness.

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Beth Romero was born and raised in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. After a thirty-year sojourn on the West Coast, she recently moved back to Philadelphia. In addition to having made her a pizza aficionado, her Italian American, East Coast background inspires the straightforward, humorous, and self-deprecating narrative style that characterizes her writing. With a background and degree in psychology, Beth channeled her creativity into a successful sales and branding career. From Veep to Boss to Happiness Junkie, persuasive storytelling is her superpower. She showcases those skills to their fullest in this practical and entertaining how-to guide for happiness.

Website: https://bethromeroauthor.com/

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8 (Cheap) Ways to Do Self-Care this Winter

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With all the end of the year holidays upon us, and the onset of cold winter weather, taking care of ourselves is even more important than usual. This doesn’t include the rest of the year being bonkers - pandemic, contentious election, major social movements, etc. 

It’s safe to say that we all need some self-love and self-care.

What is Self-Care?

First, what the heck is self-care? I mean, it’s definitely a buzzword and everyone seems to be talking about it, but what is it? 

Self-care is simply the things people do for themselves to get and stay healthy, as well as to deal with illness (and hopefully prevent it). So things like: exercise, eating well, doing activities that make you happy and relaxed, making sure your environment is clean and comfortable to be in, and so on. Even making sure you have good personal hygiene is part of self-care! 

The International Self-Care Foundation has some awesome information not just about what defines self-care, but also the necessities you need to implement self-care in your own life. You can read more here.

10 Ways to Do Self-Care this Winter

Taking care of your own wellness is critical not just for your own emotional & physical wellbeing, but also to have coping strategies for the changes going on around you. 

Writers, and introverts especially, have a tendency to observe everything around them - it’s how we create great stories and believable characters. It can also be overwhelming when there is so much to observe and try to make sense of, so you need to be able to detox from it. These 8 activities are great forms of self-care for just about anyone. Bonus: they’re cheap! 

We can personally say that we have tried and/or do all of these self-care activities on a regular basis and they really work. Give them a shot and let us know how they go for you!

Color

Maybe you haven’t colored since you were a kid. You remember the lidless container of broken, paperless crayons everyone’s parents and grandparents seemed to have, right? 

As it turns out, coloring isn’t just for kids! It’s a great stress reliever for adults, too. There’s even science & research to back it up.  Coloring pages for adults can take your mind out of your worry zone and relax your brain. 

It can also be really fun and satisfying to see something pretty come together knowing that you have absolutely no obligation to do anything with it later. (i.e. it’s not a gift you “have to” find a place for).

Grab some adult coloring pages (cheap!) here. 

And if you’re feeling spicy, there’s some swear-y coloring pages here.

Write in a Journal

For word people, reading can be soothing. But sometimes even reading feels like too much - it becomes some kind of race or duty to finish the book. 

Have you ever had that feeling? 

Journaling can be a great way to express yourself and your worries without pressure. While the idea of a “diary” can feel cumbersome, there are lots of studies that show that journaling can help not just cope with stress, but also with anxiety and depression. 

Journaling is a great form of self-care because it’s private and it can look however you want it to! It doesn’t have to be endless pages of dramatic scenes from your life like you see in teen movies. Nor does it have to be a defined structure at all. It’s literally there for you to express whatever you’re feeling without having to worry about other people being involved.

I wrote all about the benefits of journaling & the different types of journals here. Check it out and see what might work for you!

Watch your Favorite Movie or TV Series

Do you have a favorite movie? You know, one that you love no matter how many times you watch it? Or perhaps a guilty pleasure TV series that you can’t seem to stop watching even though you’ve seen it 10 times?

Watch it again. 

Watching the same thing over and over again isn’t actually that weird. In fact, a lot of people do it! Studies show that watching our trusty favorites over and over again helps anxiety because we know what’s going to happen - it’s predictable. 

When the world seems to be spinning out of control, what’s more comforting than having a small modicum of predictability? 

This week I will be indulging in this form of self-care with Jim Carrey’s How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000) for approximately the 5th time since Thanksgiving. No shame here! I love it and it makes me happy.

Take a Bubble Bath or Hot Shower

I don’t know about you, but when I’m stressed and overwhelmed, or if I’ve just had a bad day, I feel the immense need to shower. To me, it feels like I’m washing off the stink of the day and the warm water helps the world fall away for a few minutes. 

Evidently I’m not the only one who feels this way! 

Sometimes I like a bubble bath, but more importantly than the mode of getting clean is the getting clean part itself. The hot water can help you breathe better, relieve pain, and even open your pores. 

Taking a hot bath or shower can also give you a moment of quiet alone time - or meditation time - away from the stresses of everyday life. The best thing is, you don’t really need to buy anything to indulge! If you do want to get a little fancy, I like lavender Epsom salt.

Meditate

I’ve written a lot about meditation lately, but it’s a daily staple for me. When I was younger (and my anxiety was wildly out of control), I thought meditation was only for religious use. I also thought that everyone who meditated had figured out how to fold their legs just so and magically could achieve inner peace by rhythmically chanting “Ohm.”

I won’t say that those things aren’t true, because you definitely can meditate for religious reasons - and if sitting with crossed legs on a yoga mat works for you, go for it! 

But that’s not the only way to practice meditation. 

Meditation can happen in a number of ways - even down to 5 minute mindfulness practices! It’s a great tool for self-care because when you meditate, you clear your mind and focus on your breathing. As you learn how to effectively meditate, you can more quickly and easily shed stress and anxiety. 

I particularly like the Stop Panic & Anxiety and Insight Timer apps - both free to use with lots of options for guided imagery, breathing, and general mindfulness. I use them often in the mid-afternoon to reset my mindset, and I use them at night to sleep more soundly.

Go for a Walk (Yes, in the Snow)

I’m a big proponent of walking. During the day, I try to make sure to get up and walk around for a few minutes every hour as often as I can. When the sun is shining (and it’s not literally 0 degrees outside) I try to walk outside. Even in the snow. 

Walking is a good form of exercise, pretty low key in terms of how hard it is to actually do. For self-care, getting your body moving regularly can have great physical & mental benefits! It changes your scenery for a little bit and can give you time away from whatever you’ve been working on to focus on yourself or something that you want to think about. 

Bonus: if you have dogs, they’ll be glad to join you and they won’t require you to come up with any conversation.

Take a Nap

Before I had other coping strategies for my anxiety, napping was my immediate go-to. It’s the fastest, most effective way to shut down my brain and bring it to a full stop. 

As it turns out, napping remains a great self-care strategy, although I’m glad I have some other tools now, too. Napping is a great form of self-care because you’re listening to your mind and body about what it needs. 

While it can seem counterproductive to take a nap amidst a mile-long to-do list, you’ll find that taking a moment for a little self-care actually boosts productivity and morale. You’ll feel refreshed and relaxed when you wake up - even after just 15 minutes!

I regularly take short 10-15 minute naps in the mid-afternoon, combined with a short mindfulness meditation, because it’s like I’m resetting my brain to kick ass the rest of the day. It also helps me deal with my anxiety in a healthy way rather than letting panic go unchecked. 

This is easily one of my top 3 well-loved and most used forms of self-care.

Work on a Craft or Hobby 

With so many of us working from home nowadays, it’s important to have some sort of separation between work and personal life. If you’re like me, working could easily take over everything if you don’t intentionally set boundaries and practice self-care. 

Figuring out other things to do was, at first, tricky. After all, my biggest passion is writing and I do it for a living. The boundaries between work and fun can get very fuzzy! 

The more I’m at home, though, the more I realize that making and taking the time to work on crafts and hobbies is a wonderful form of self-care. It’s satisfying to make something cute or pretty and I can get completely absorbed in something that I purely enjoy rather than have to “work on” to make money. 

I do sewing, paint by number (with regular paint on canvas or diamond painting), and sticker by number right now and I love them!

Next Steps

Taking care of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally is critical to being a healthy human - and feeling good. The best part is that you can choose any or all of these forms of self-care and combine them together in your own special way to create the perfect balance for you.

My challenge to you is to choose one of these forms of self-care and try it.

Need help figuring out a creative routine or just someone to help you stay accountable for doing enough self-care? Click here to read how I can help!

Have you tried any of these forms of self-care? Do you do a type of self-care that didn’t make the list? I’d love to hear about your experiences and recommendations! Find me on social media or drop a comment below.

Let’s chat because you, my friend, are on your way to great writing - and great relaxing.

The Ultimate Guide to Journaling

UPDATED DECEMBER 2020

Chances are, if you liked writing or showed an interest at all when you were young, someone gave you a journal at one point. It may have been a pretty notebook, a hardbound “diary,” or, a tiny little notebook that fits about 3 words on the line.

What do you remember about it? 

Were you excited? Annoyed? Skeptical, perhaps?

Me too. As someone who has loved writing for as long as I can remember, I had a string of “diaries” when I was young. I specifically remember having a voice-activated password diary - the latest trendy thing in the 2000s. It seemed like every birthday or gift-giving holiday, journals were the gift of choice. 

When I was young, I would get all excited about a new journal. I would use it for a few writing sessions, then lose interest. Sometimes I would be paranoid that my diary was read by someone (and sometimes it was). Or, I didn’t want to spend hours writing down all my thoughts at one time, because that’s what journaling was to me then: hours of writing down every little feeling and detail. 

When I went away to college, I found comfort in keeping a journal on a regular basis. I didn’t write every day, because I tended to write quite extensively, but every week or two I would write about what was important and happening in my life. It was during this hectic time that I figured out how incredibly helpful it is to have a journal. 

Now I journal every day, and it has changed my life.

What is Journaling?

Before we get to the juicy stuff, though, let’s make sure we’re on the same page about what a journal actually is. A journal is, “a daily record of news and events of a personal nature; a diary.” Essentially, you write every day about what’s happening around you in a private place.

Many times, this strict definition of journal is what discourages people from journaling. The “daily” act of writing or keeping a “diary” seems like quite a big time commitment, especially if you’re busy, as most of us are.

This was definitely off-putting for me because: 

• When I was writing in a “diary” I poured out my soul for long periods of time. I’m talking a couple of hours at a time, so how could I expect to do that every day?

• Because I wrote so much for so long, I was drained, so writing every day seemed like an unattainable goal.

• I’ve never liked the idea of a “diary” because it seems like telling people about a diary encourages them to ask about things you obviously want to keep private. It also seems like something you might have to “hide” - at least that’s what we learn about keeping a diary as kids.

When I talk about the benefits of journaling and how helpful it’s been in my own life, understand that I don’t commit to writing 10 pages a day of raw emotional content in a diary.

Every morning I free write 3 pages - a practice called Morning Pages (read more about that here) - and I log my day at the end of the day. For me, journaling is one of the biggest ways I do self-care, so I do indulge in nice journals, although not super expensive ones. I love Peter Pauper Press journals like this one.

7 Benefits of Journaling

While it’s one thing for me to say journaling has helped me, it’s another thing to “prove” it, right? After all, just because something works for me doesn’t mean it will work for you.

BUT

Did you know there are research-backed benefits to journaling? People have been studying journaling for years and it DOES have some pretty great benefits as a practice.

Journaling helps you have:

• Less stress

• Less anxiety

• Better ability to work through emotion

• Physical healing from the effects of diseases like Depression

• Psychological healing from trauma

• Improved memory

• Boosts positivity

And these are just some benefits! Science also supports these claims?

Types of Journals

Free writing isn’t the only way to journal - there are plenty of other options! This might seem like it makes things more complicated, but it’s actually really great for you because it means that you are not confined to the traditional idea of keeping a journal if that doesn’t appeal to you.

Here are some types of journaling you could choose from: 

• Self-Care Journal - working through life’s difficulties and your own feelings

• Writing journal - if you are a writer and want all of your thoughts collected in one place

• Gratitude journal - a log of things you are grateful for

• Travel journal - a written account of your travels

• Dream journal - a written account of your dreams and what you think they mean

• Bullet journal - an all-in-one organizational system that can be a journal plus a lot more!

A journal can and should be what you want and need it to be. Learning what works for me has been a journey. I used to do personal journaling in bursts. I would write 5-10 pages at a time, but only once or twice a month. Now, I write 3 pages every morning and not only is it easier because I have a limit to the time and amount, but I’ve come to rely on it as a way to clear my head before the start of the day.

In the morning I do free writing, but I also list 3-5 things I’m grateful for and 3 things I must get done during the day. Before bed, I log my day in the Pixels app and I list 10 things I’m grateful for. If I have something special that I took a picture of, I put it in the journey app for safe-keeping. It’s awesome! It also doesn’t take as long as you might think - I spend maybe a half hour in the morning and less than 10 minutes at night.

How to Begin Journaling

Although it may seem daunting, journaling doesn’t have to be complicated or all-consuming. There are 4 simple steps that can get you started journaling today!

1. Choose how to journal. Consider what you want to get out of journaling: are you anxious? Do you need to unload your emotions in a private place? Are you really busy and need to keep a log of what’s going on around you? Do you just want someone to talk to who won’t react to what you’re saying? Once you know what you want from your new journaling habit, it will be easier to figure out the “how to do it” part.

2. Decide what medium to write it. Do you like the traditional feeling of pen on paper? Or do you love technology and want to keep a digital journal? There are awesome tools available for both options. Do some research and see what’s out there that you like. I also have some options below that I love and I think you might, too!

3. Acquire whatever tool you want to use to journal. Is this a regular notebook? A fancy, bound journal? A daily app with reminders? 

4. Begin writing. You’ve got this! It’s a process to get used to writing every day, but if you make the effort to take time to do it, journaling will begin to become a very positive habit in your life.

Journaling Tools

I didn’t start out as someone who loves journaling, but I sure am now! Along the way, I’ve found some pretty incredible FREE tools that I still use today. Check them out - I think you’ll like them, too.

Pixels - a log to keep your emotions every day. You select a color correlating to your mood and make notes about it every day. You can be as detailed (or not) as you want, and if you don’t want to leave a comment and just a color, you can do that too! Many things, like the month or year view and colors are customizable.

On my app, I use yellow for the best days, orange for good days, green for fine days, purple for not very good days, and red for really bad days.

Journey - a password protected digital diary (don’t worry, it’s not voice activated) that allows you to free write the same way you would on any other document - with images, gifs, emojis, etc. Plus, you can add voice recordings & attachments! You have the option to back it up, and it will keep all of your data safe and sound.

I love this app because I started using it in January 2017, and I can access all of my entries since then. My favorite is adding everyday pictures because then it reminds me of things I might have forgotten. It will also send reminders when you have an anniversary of an entry with the option to “look back” at it. There is a paid version, which is like $6.99, but I felt like that was worth it for me because I have so many entries from over the years. It’s definitely not a requirement and there’s no pressure to upgrade while using the app.

Stop Panic and Anxiety - This is one of the best meditation apps I have found to date. I typically use the relaxation audio recordings when I’m going to sleep. The audios range from about 15-25 minutes, and they guide you with how to breathe and everything.

There is also the option to use the cognitive diary function. You can choose to make the app password protected, too,  and set up a reminder so you don’t forget. It doesn’t look the prettiest, but it’s awesome just the same!

BONUS: None of these apps cause ads, and only use push notifications if you want them to.

Journaling Considerations

You might be thinking “Well, I’m just not into it. I’ve done it before & it just doesn’t work for me.”

That’s perfectly fine! Journaling is not for everyone. For years I’ve been a proponent, and that’s partly because I love words so much. I realize, though, that words may not have the same effect on others as they do on me. 

Before you give up entirely, though, consider: 

• You don’t have to do the “diary” type of journaling. Whether it’s a matter of time, or whether you live with too many people for it to actually be private, there are other ways to journal and express yourself.

• Just because you try one type of journaling doesn’t mean you have to commit. You can try as many types of journaling as interest you, but just because you try it doesn’t mean you’ll do that same activity the rest of your life. Want to be more satisfied with your life? Focus on finding and writing down one thing you are grateful for every day. Bam! You have yourself a gratitude journal, even if you don’t call it that.

• You can always go digital - for free - if you aren’t feeling the pen and paper journaling concept. Plus, if you go digital, you can password protect your thoughts if you feel like you need to. 

My challenge to you is to read a little about each type of journal and then try one out for a month!

What kinds of journals have you written? Heard of? Thought about trying? I would love to hear about your trials and triumphs! Find me on social media or leave a comment below.

Let’s chat because you, my friend, are on your way to great writing.