5 Lifestyle Tweaks That Can Significantly Up Your Happiness Game and Well-Being

Did you know researchers determined that three primary factors affect happiness levels, and only 10% of happiness is determined by external circumstances? Genetics (50%) and intentional activities (40%) make up the primary pieces of the pie. This was a very powerful revelation for me. It suggests that intentional activities offer the most promising means to increase and sustain levels of happiness.

I became an intentional warrior about everything—thoughts/affirmations, diet, sleep, exercise, gratitude, faith, social support, vision, goals, etc. Literally everything. Cultivating happiness is a constant practice. Your daily life, ergo your state of mind, is dictated by your daily choices day in and day out. Small, consistent steps are the foot soldiers that win the crusade for hope and happiness. You have to be in it to win it.

This means living with intention and not just operating on autopilot; creating a life based on choices, not habits; and practicing the sort of person you want to be each day. Sounds simple? It is. But it's not easy. It takes commitment and intention. But it doesn’t have to be overwhelming.

Here are 5 lifestyle tweaks that can significantly up your happiness game and well-being.

1. Gratitude

The research on the benefits of gratitude is undeniable. Studies show gratitude to be associated with greater happiness, life satisfaction, joy, and self-esteem. An attitude of gratitude is also associated with reduced depression, anxiety, bitterness, and loneliness. It rewires your neural pathways for good. It’s the easiest thing to practice and the payoff is enormous.

2. Thoughts/Affirmations

Excessive and ruminating negative thoughts and emotions are literal poison to your soul and use neural pathways as their means of attack. When you subject your brain to constant negative thoughts and emotions, you actually change its physical structure—and not in a good way. Sadly, the brain can’t differentiate between actual threats and perceived threats. Losing one’s job and worrying about losing one’s job can wreak the same neural and emotional havoc. Ironically, research suggests that approximately 85% of what we worry about never happens. So, you need to guard your thoughts and internal dialogue.

Moreover, evidence-based research shows that affirmations rewire the brain on a cellular level. It makes sense, really. If crappy self-talk can adversely wire the brain, then positive affirmations can interrupt those maladaptive neuro-nets and rewire your brain for happiness. When you engage in positive affirmations, the neural magic happens. Remember how the brain can’t tell the difference between a real threat and a perceived threat? The sword cuts both ways and works to your benefit with positive affirmations. Since the mind can’t tell the difference between real and pretend, affirmations can program your mind into believing a stated concept. Ah-mazing!

3. Social Support

The Beatles were on to something with their hit “All You Need is Love.” Countless studies show that love and social support are associated with greater happiness, life satisfaction, longevity, and physical health. Moreover, a meta-analysis of studies found that lack of social connections/loneliness carries the same health risks as smoking, obesity, not exercising, and alcoholism—sobering statistics. So, grow your garden of social support…it’s one of the best investments you can make.

4. Faith.

I’m not looking to proselytize. I avoid people who do that like the plague. But there’s just no getting around the fact that studies have determined faith to be an integral and significant predictor of happiness. And by faith, I’m not talking about confidence in Tom Brady’s throwing arm or J. Lo’s unparalleled ability to twerk. I’m talking about the Big Guy (or Girl), Universe, Spirit, Supreme Being, or whomever that higher power may be to you. For me, it’s God.

By “faith,” I’m referring to spirituality in all its forms, not any type of organized religion. Spirituality is universal. The specifics may vary, but all cultures have the concept of a sacred, divine force. Spirituality acts like a lamp, a guidepost. It lights your path during life’s darkest moments and allows the joyous moments to shine even brighter. Believing in something bigger than you; being about something more than you…is where it’s at.

5. Sleep/Diet/Exercise.

Lifestyle choices such as diet, exercise, and sleep patterns affect your brain’s health and neuroplasticity and your happiness. If you don’t think your daily habits affect your happiness, you’re fooling yourself. You can read every self-help book, keep a gratitude journal, and meditate daily, but if the rest of your lifestyle is junk food, sugary energy drinks, alcohol, little exercise, and poor sleep habits, it’s a happiness house of cards. Life and happiness are the sum of all your choices. Choose wisely.

I would love to cultivate “happiness happening” where people become intentional and invested in daily practices to maintain their mental well-being.

In Happy AF: Simple Strategies to Get Unstuck, Bounce Back, and Live Your Best Life, we explore a whole host of strategies, all backed by research, that can help you up your happiness game. There’s no one-size-fits-all approach, which is why we examined so many different strategies. Try each one on and see what works best for you. Just like any road trip, there is more than one way to get there. Have happiness habits be the norm rather than the exception. That way, the next time a storm comes (and it will), your happiness will not be easily swayed, helpless like a leaf in the wind; you’ll be firmly tethered, rooted in your happiness.

---

Beth Romero was born and raised in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. After a thirty-year sojourn on the West Coast, she recently moved back to Philadelphia. In addition to having made her a pizza aficionado, her Italian American, East Coast background inspires the straightforward, humorous, and self-deprecating narrative style that characterizes her writing. With a background and degree in psychology, Beth channeled her creativity into a successful sales and branding career. From Veep to Boss to Happiness Junkie, persuasive storytelling is her superpower. She showcases those skills to their fullest in this practical and entertaining how-to guide for happiness.

Website: https://bethromeroauthor.com/

---

How to Show Gratitude in Business

It’s the time of year to reflect on what we’re grateful for. Although we often focus on gratitude for the holidays, we should practice gratitude more than once a year because it will help our businesses grow. 

Yes, showing gratitude can help your business grow.

It’s one of the easiest things to do but somehow always gets forgotten. People start to feel resentful, unvalued, disrespected, and unappreciated, which leads to an unhappy workplace with high turnover - unappreciated customers who don’t return to purchase from your business. 

Establishing a culture of gratitude is an easy way to set yourself up for success.

Why Gratitude is Important for Business

Are you more likely to do business with someone who takes your money and runs, or someone who shows genuine appreciation for your business? I’m guessing the latter (let’s face it, we all want to be appreciated). Showing appreciation for “your people” greatly improves the amount of business you receive and builds your loyal customer base. People will keep coming back to you when they feel truly appreciated and valued. 

On the other hand, employees and employers need to feel appreciated, too. An excerpt from Intelligent Change reveals something interesting about U.S. workplaces: 

“Recent research conducted by the John Templeton Foundation revealed that for Americans, the workplace is the least likely place to express gratitude. Although as many as 93% of the respondents agreed that a grateful boss is more likely to succeed, and almost all of them agreed that a simple ‘thank you’ at work made them feel valued and respected, only 10% were actually prone to express gratefulness. The majority, or 60% of the respondents, have never expressed gratitude at work, or have only done so once a year!”

That’s pretty sad! How does showing gratitude once a year foster a positive work environment? It doesn’t. Employees and bosses need positive affirmation, encouragement, and to feel respected and appreciated to be their best selves in the workplace. It will make work more enjoyable for everyone, which is important since we spend so much of our one life doing it. 

How to Adopt an Attitude of Gratitude

It takes a conscious effort to choose an attitude of gratitude. It’s not something that happens overnight, and even for those who practice gratitude regularly, it can be harder on difficult days. Adopting a gratitude mindset and intentionally practicing gratitude every day will get you there, though. And it’s definitely worth it.

Mindset

I like this definition of a gratitude mindset from Lucemi Consulting: 

“When you have a gratitude mindset, you focus on the limitless opportunities available in business and life because you already appreciate what you have. When you are grateful, you choose to focus on the positive things rather than the negative things.”

Mindset is key when adopting an attitude of gratitude. You can see opportunity everywhere, but you’re aware of and thankful for where you are and what you have today. No one can take away your choice to be grateful for the life you have or the opportunities you’ve been given.

Attract What You Put Out in the World

You attract what you put out in the world. (Yes, it’s the law of attraction - you knew it was coming.) If you’re constantly throwing negativity into the world, you’re going to get negativity back. If you switch that mindset and start putting positivity into the world, you will attract it back to you. If you constantly show gratitude to people, they will return the favor. 

Another aspect of this is that whatever you’re putting out in the world, you notice more in your own life. In the case of gratitude, when you constantly praise people for the work they’ve done, you notice when people do the same in return. Sometimes small notes of praise can go unnoticed, but when you make that a core value of your business, you notice when people are expressing gratitude towards yourself and others. 

4 Ideas for Showing Gratitude in Your Business

Obviously showing gratitude is important to growing your business, but how do you go about actually doing that? Here are a few ideas of how to start.

Keep a Gratitude Journal

I like to practice gratitude journaling in the morning. It sets me on the right foot for the day. I make a list of 10-15 things that I’m grateful for. I try to be really specific, too. Not just “food” (which, of course, I am grateful for). Instead, I would write something like, “I am grateful that I have the means to purchase food I want.” Be specific when you fill out a gratitude journal. It will be fun to look back after a few months or even years to see how much you’ve grown and developed as a human. 

Be Grateful for Small Things that Happen Every Day

Do you know how many small things happening every day that you can be grateful for? Probably hundreds. During your gratitude journaling, identify small things that have happened to you in the last day or two that you can be grateful for. In addition (or alternatively), you can log your gratitude each night in a journal or app like Pixels. 

Send Gifts to Clients or Customers

Client gifts aren’t just for the holidays. You can send thank you letters when they sign with you, a quick birthday message, or a small gift of congratulations when they hit a milestone in their business. It’s always nice to receive “fun mail,” as I like to call it. It makes clients feel special and appreciated. 

Show appreciation to employees

We’ve all been part of the corporate world and felt unappreciated. If you haven’t, you’re one of the lucky few. It makes you dread work every day, resentful toward the company, and often straight-up miserable. Create a culture of gratitude and appreciation among employees. Give them positive affirmations, small gifts or thank you cards, and encourage employees to show gratitude among themselves, too. An appreciated employee is happier and has a higher job performance. Who doesn’t want that for the people who work with them?

P.S. Freelancers and contractors who do work for you count, too! 

I encourage you to practice showing gratitude daily. Start a daily gratitude journal, send gifts to clients or customers, and create a culture of gratitude by regularly showing employee appreciation. Not only will your business flourish, but you and everyone around you will be happier and more grateful people. We need more of those people in the world, don’t you agree?

Why We’re All a Little Scared of Success (But Need to Act Anyway)

We’ve all felt the fear of failure at some point. It can hang over any task no matter how small or seemingly mundane. 

But, have you ever been afraid of what might happen if you succeed? It raises bigger questions like: What would I do if I got the promotion? What would I do if I wasn’t drowning in debt? How would I feel if my book did get published?

If you’ve thought about these things (or something like them), you’re not alone. It’s okay to worry about what might come with success, or the burdens that would bring. It’s okay to want to be successful, but also be scared of success. That doesn’t mean you can’t or won’t still succeed.

Why Success is Scary as Hell

No matter what you’re doing, new things can be scary. No matter how many times you’ve succeeded in other areas of your life, each success brings about tasks and feelings you’ve never encountered before. Let’s be honest, newness and change aren’t always exciting, even when we desperately want them to be. 

And even when changes bring great new things into your life, there’s still the fear of the unknown. You don't necessarily know how success will look until you get there. It could look like opportunities beyond your wildest dreams. But it could also look like hardships and stress you don’t yet know how to handle. Sometimes it’s the not knowing that’s the scary part. 

Success also creates a new normal. You’ll probably see and feel a lot of changes as you grow (we sometimes lovingly call these growing pains). The reality is that your life will be different. That’s the goal, though, right? Leaving our current routine and comfort zone so we can get to somewhere better. Not that saying it out loud makes it less terrifying, but it’s real. 

Scary, But Important

Success brings a lot of amazing opportunities into our lives. As you work toward your goals, you gain knowledge of what leads to success and how to do it again. More specifically, you learn about yourself and what you can do. As you make leaps and bounds past your goals, you learn what works and what doesn’t, what keeps you motivated, and what brings you to a screeching halt. 

With the inevitable trial and error it takes to succeed, you’re also gaining experience. Experience helps you to feel more confident in yourself and your skills, and showcase that to others. When you’re trying to find a job or, as a writer, find someone to support your writing, people want to know about your “experience.” We’ve all had that interview question that went something like this: Tell me about yourself and what experience you would bring to the role. With each new goal you reach and success you achieve, you’re building this much sought after experience. 

Experience and knowledge are great, but what’s most important isa actually growth and personal development. Every time you learn something new, develop a new skill, fine tune an old skill, make an error, correct yourself, or reach a goal, you grow as a person. You’re becoming a better version of yourself, which, really, is the ultimate success. 

Do the Thing that Scares You, Even When You’re Terrified (You Won’t Regret It)

If you stay in your comfort zone forever, you won’t succeed. At least not as much as you dream of because you don’t grow without fear. And if you’re not growing at least a little, you’re probably not succeeding in the way you want. 

When you can take even tiny steps outside of your comfort zone, you get experience. For writers, this might look like finding a trusted friend to read a little of your writing even though the thought makes the hair on the back of your neck stand up like you’re in a scary movie. It might not seem like a big deal, and once you send the writing, it might even seem like a small step. But every step forward is progress, no matter how small. It’s one step closer toward your goals, and success. 

If you don’t take these steps, you’ll never know how far you could've gone. Would you rather spend your one and only life stuck in your comfort zone wondering what could have been? Or take small steps that scare the living bejeezus out of you and actually find out? Give yourself the chance to find out how you can become a published author or the CEO of your dream business, or whatever dream you’ve been holding onto. 

4 Ways to Conquer Your Fear

We here at Capturing Your confidence (all of us) have been afraid, especially in our writing lives. We’ve been the ones who had to close our eyes before pressing send on an email with our beloved book attached on its way to get feedback. We’ve been the ones who were afraid people wouldn’t like our writing, so we kept our most exciting projects to ourselves. We’ve even been the ones who’ve contemplated throwing drafts away or redoing them because we felt like they just weren’t good enough. 

The only difference between us and anyone else (because ultimately we’re all humans) is that we didn’t let those fears hold us back. And you don’t have to either! We’re not promising that fear will go away - it won’t. But, we are promising that you can handle it. You can move forward anyway, and that’s what it’s all about.

Write down your worries & fears.

Writing down what’s weighing you down is a great start to understanding how to overcome your fears. Writing them down is helpful to pinpointing what’s causing the fears, why they’re happening, and how to deal with it. Sometimes they’re irrational, or sometimes they’re extremely real. Either way, you have to have a space to think about it in order to work through them.  

Talk to someone. 

Getting your fears out in the open and out of your own head helps as well. Sometimes we just need a listening ear and we can solve our problems mid-talk. Sometimes we need an objective outside opinion to remind us that we’re not crazy for being scared of these big goals and dreams. Often, the act of talking to someone we trust is soothing, and even if you don’t “solve” the fear, you can figure out ways to better manage it. 

Focus on your goals.

Let your motivation drive you, not your fear. Remind yourself regularly why you want this and focus on the goal. This alone can sometimes be enough to get through momentary fears that feel paralyzing. This is probably the most difficult, and most effective way to get through your fears.

This is HARD. It’s not something you’ll want to jump out of bed and do (at least not right away - it’ll get easier as you practice). But it’s okay. It’s okay to ask for help, and it’s okay if you can only take the tiniest steps in the world. These tiny steps are still progress, and you can do this.  

Break down your goals.

Make your big goals and dreams more manageable. It’s hard as heck to publish a book or start a business! But you know what those things start with? Small steps like deciding on a main theme or idea. Deciding what you like and feel passionate about, and then putting your ass in the seat and writing it down. 100 words is more than none - it doesn’t even have to be a good 100 words.

A list of people doing what you dream of doing is one step closer to being your own boss because you can start learning what’s possible. Breaking down your goals makes them less daunting and wears down your fear of the unknown and newness. Anyone who’s worn patent leather shoes knows: those damn things are painful (but pretty) when you start, but they become more comfortable as you break them in! You can do the same with your fears and successes. 

Remind yourself of your goals & start taking control of your fears. 

If you need help, reach out. We’re here to help.

Have you ever been afraid of success? What fear is holding you back right now? What’s one way you overcome your fear of the unknown? We’d love to hear about your experiences! Find me on social media, drop a comment below.

Let’s chat because you, my friend, are on your way to great writing.

4 Stressors Secretly Causing Writer’s Block

As a writer, you’ve probably dealt with writer’s block in some form or another - almost all of us have.  It’s a frustrating and seemingly endless period that can bring about a whole lot of stress on its own. 

But did you know that stress can be what leads you to getting stuck in the first place? Once you understand what’s causing unnecessary stress in your life, it’ll be easier to manage it and in turn, avoid the dreaded writer’s block.

What the Heck is Stressor?

First things first, let’s discuss what exactly a stressor is. A quick Google search will tell you that a stressor is something that causes strain, tension, or...you guessed it, STRESS! There are so many stressors in your life that seem harmless, but can actually create a lot of stress in your life. 

4 Sneaky Stressors Causing Writer’s Block

Instant Access News & Media Coverage

With access to laptops, phones, and tablets, you have the world at your fingertips - including the good, bad, and the ugly. Being able to constantly check your phone and see updates on the news and other kinds of media can be a HUGE stressor. 

Most of the time, the news is not reporting on happy topics. Almost all media outlets tell you about the tragic accidents, extreme weather, disputes in politics, and more pressing issues. After all, “if it bleeds, it leads.”

Sometimes it’s important to take a step back from all of that information. Although it may feel like it, you don’t need to know every single detail of what happens in the world each day. It is important to stay informed, but news can easily become an obsession, which isn’t helpful for anyone. In fact, it often leads people to losing faith in humanity and brings a ton of stress into their lives. 

Limit yourself to checking the news a few times per week and rest assured that if anything dire happens, you’ll be able to find out quickly. Limiting yourself will help bring more peace into your life, and get some writing done!

Social Media

This may or may not come as a surprise, but social media can drag even the best of us down if we’re not paying. It creates a stressful cycle where you find yourself stuck in a bubble where everyone’s lives are perfect and going just right...except yours. When you see perfectly curated content, it feels a lot like comparing yourself to a model in a magazine, and you find yourself lacking most times. It’s incredibly stressful (and unhealthy) to spend so much time comparing yourself to others, especially when you don’t really know what's happening behind the scenes.

After all, you’re only seeing what people want you to see.  It’s important to remember that social media isn’t always what it seems. It’s much less important to get a lot of likes and comments than to forge actual relationships with people (even though it’s painful when you feel like you’ve posted the “right” stuff and no one seems to care.)

The other thing about social media is how much time people spend on it. According to the data, people in the U.S. spend more than 2 hours EVERY DAY on social media. Can you imagine how many other things (including writing) you could do with 2 more hours in your day if you limited your social media time?! And how much stress it could relieve if you spent that time enjoying your time instead of comparing or wishing your life was different? Or actually shaping your life into something you enjoy every day? 

Turn off social media and put your phone away when you’re going to be writing. Don’t let yourself be drawn into the social media black hole that winds up eating all your time and taking your focus away from your creative ideas & writing. 

Expectation Overwhelm

Once you announce that you’re writing something - a book, a story, an article, etc. - it comes with expectations. People will ask “How’s the book coming?” or “What are you writing about?” Even though most people are well-intentioned and simply curious to know what you’re working on, you’ll probably start to feel the pressure pretty quickly. It’s not just the questions that can cause stress, but also knowing they want to or even expect to read your work. 

You might start to wonder: Will they like it? Will it be “good enough” for them? If they don’t like it, will they think less of me?

One simple way to avoid feeling too much pressure (unfortunately, it’s impossible to avoid entirely) is to be vague when responding to these kinds of questions. When you don’t share much, they’ll ask less. It may seem harsh or strange, but can really help. If you want someone to bounce ideas off of, that’s fine - just make sure they’re someone who won’t judge your ideas. 

You can also hold off on telling people you’re writing anything until you’re sure it’s something you’re going to put out in the world. Then, if you change your mind or decide to go a different route, you won’t have to explain yourself to anyone. It relieves some of the pressure and frees up your mind to just write.

Not Enough Physical Contact with the Outside World

Thanks to the pandemic, it’s become increasingly difficult to physically interact with the outside world. This can put a damper on your spirits and make it difficult to focus on writing projects. It seems like having to stay inside would help these projects, especially since many writers consider themselves introverts. But when you don’t have a choice, it can feel like a chore. 

It’s important to take breaks, even if you can’t get out of the house, so you don’t start to dislike writing. As with anything, you can overdo it if you push yourself too hard or force yourself to write when you don’t want to. 

Not only is getting out good for your mental health, it’s also good for inspiration. Without the interactions that were a part of your everyday life before, you might find yourself uninspired. But, that doesn’t mean there aren’t other ways to find new ideas. You can still interact with nature, listen to music, or talk with friends and family on the phone. These are all great ways to spark your creativity when you can’t go out in public. 

My challenge to you is to take a break from your phone for a day.

Do any of these stressors make an impact on your writing? How do you overcome writer’s block? Have you ever taken a break from social media or your phone for an extended period of time? I’d love to hear about your experiences! Find me on social media or drop a comment below.

Let’s chat because you, my friend, are on your way to great writing. 

How I Deal with Imposter Syndrome

By Holly Huntress, Living Through Writing

As a writer, something I have to contend with on more occasions than I care to admit, is imposter syndrome. This is something that affects most (if not all) writers at some point. It’s hard enough to be a writer without having to battle with your own inner self-doubt and worry. So, today I’m sharing how I deal with imposter syndrome. 

What is Imposter Syndrome?

Imposter syndrome is the feeling you don’t belong. That you aren’t good enough. When it comes to writing, it makes you feel like you aren’t really a writer. When you experience imposter syndrome, it makes you doubt yourself and your abilities - you feel as if you’re an imposter. Imposter syndrome can happen in any field, not just writing. It can put a damper on your spirits and hinder your writing. So, what do you do when it takes over?

How I Deal with Imposter Syndrome

More often than not, I find myself being sucked into a spiral of self-deprecating thoughts regarding my writing. I’m not as good as… I could never write that well… I’ll never be considered a real author… The list goes on. 

A lot of the time my imposter syndrome stems from making comparisons between my writing and a book I’m reading. Never compare your unfinished/unpolished writing to that of a published novel/work. The book you’re reading has been through multiple rounds of professional edits and beta reads. Your writing is still in its early stages. If you compare it to one of the books on your shelf, you’ll bring imposter syndrome on yourself in a heartbeat. 

Even if you are comparing your own writing to someone else who hasn’t gone through the edits and beta reads, it’s still not fair to yourself to compare them. Everyone has a different writing style. If they didn’t, reading would become boring... fast. All books would read the same, and if you read one, you’d have read them all. 

When imposter syndrome is creeping up on you, keep in mind that there’s someone out there who wants to hear what you have to say. It may not happen right away, but you will find your audience. In the meantime, imagine your ideal reader and write for them. They’ll be your biggest supporter and possibly your biggest critic as well. Don’t let the fear of those critiques hold you back or fuel your imposter syndrome.

Critiques help you grow as a writer. Don’t think of bad reviews as something negative. They’re there to help you discover what you need to work on. For example, if you have a review that mentions bad grammar or spelling, that's an easy fix! Simply make sure you have a more thorough editor helping you with your writing. 

If someone says that they weren’t a fan of the character development, maybe spend a bit more time planning out your next character’s arc before diving in to make sure they’re a fully developed character. There are so many ways you can use your reviews to help yourself. It’s okay to be upset by bad reviews, but make sure you use them to the best of your ability. Don’t let them go to waste.

Another super helpful way I overcome Imposter syndrome is by reaching out to other writers in the writing community. I have mentioned writing communities before, and I will keep bringing it up! There are writing communities on every social media. 

If you’re not sure how to find those writing communities you can learn more about writers on Instagram, or read about writers’ TikTok. Twitter and Facebook can be just as useful as long as you can find your writing community. 

Whenever I feel down about my writing or need some help, I reach out to my writing community. I post a video on TikTok asking my question, or saying I need some help with whatever is bugging me, and people respond in the comments. 

Or I post on Instagram, either to my Stories or to my page, and do the same thing. Pose a question and wait for the responses to come in. If I need more immediate help, I can always directly message (DM) some of the writers who I have become closer with and they’re always willing to help.

If you need an instant boost in your morale, go back and read some of your own writing. Sometimes it’s easy to forget your own abilities. I know I do since I’m not usually reading my writing. 

Imposter syndrome is no fun and it can really make you feel crappy. But, with the right tools in your arsenal, you can snap back into reality and remember who you are: a writer. No matter who tries to tell you differently, even if it’s yourself, YOU ARE A WRITER. So do what you do best and write! Beat back the imposter syndrome and overcome your doubts. 

7 Unexpected Ways Meditation Helps My Writing

Meditation, like self-care, is a hot topic right now. Or maybe it’s always been a hot topic and I just never noticed until I started doing it. 

I didn’t believe it would work, at least not at first. I took a yoga class in college (because my college required a physical education class...gross), and I loved the yoga part. 

We would also do meditations at the end of class each day, which was super uncomfortable the first few weeks. I mean, who really wants to lay on a yoga mat in an exercise studio with a bunch of people they don’t know and try to get zen? 

It also freaked me out to seemingly give up control of my body for a little bit and actually relax. At the time, I hadn’t yet taken any steps to control my anxiety, so you can probably imagine how tense it was. 

Just as I started to get used to it, though (and actually enjoy it), the class ended. Of course. 

I didn’t pick it back up until early 2020 when the proverbial shit hit the fan and I HAD to figure out how to deal with my anxiety. There was so much going on, and although napping does help me (I’m super open about it - such a creative boost!), it was getting into the nap that was the problem. 

Relaxing enough to shut my mind down even for 15 minutes was a huge problem, so I wracked my poor stressed out brain to figure out what to do. I was willing to try pretty much anything. 

Enter: meditation. 

What Do I Mean by Meditation?

Real quick, before we get to how meditation is pretty much a life (and business) saver for me, I wanted to touch on what I mean because there are different kinds of meditation. When I first learned about it, I kind of thought that only monks meditated - and maybe those who were hardcore yoga practitioners who were in it for the spiritual aspects. It was a super stereotypical assumption, and I’m happy to report that I was wrong! 

Spiritual meditation is a popular practice, and there are a ton of great resources about it. That’s not the kind of meditation I do, though. I use guided imagery meditation. I also don’t meditate at 5 am before anyone is awake - I do it in the afternoon, typically after lunch or mid-afternoon when I look up from whatever project I’m working on and realize that my brain needs a break or a reset. 

I have a couple of apps that I love, and there are lots of free audios to choose from. My favorite is Insight Timer, and I use it both for afternoon meditation and sleep stories at night before I go to bed. I don’t have the premium membership ($59.99/year), but that’s probably something I will purchase next year because I use and enjoy it so much.

Why I Meditate 3-4 Afternoons a Week

So here’s the fun part: all the reasons I meditate on the regular. My goal for August is actually to meditate 4 times a week, which is lofty. As you probably know, being busy makes your schedule a little unpredictable! 

But this particular part of my day is SO worth it. 

Part of my meditation practice is selfish...it helps puppy Maxwell take a nap in the afternoon. I don’t know if you have furry friends at home with you, but with 2 fur babies and myself at home almost all the time (because I work remotely), we NEED naptime in my house. By the afternoon, he’s ready, but fighting it because he has serious FOMO (which I’ve come to realize most little creatures do, human or animal) and he thinks that even though I’ve been massively boring to him and Charlie all day so far, I’m going to jump up and party without him or something. I’m not, but he doesn’t realize that. So when I get ready to meditate, I put him in his sleeping area and I lay in bed for about 15 minutes and get up while he’s still snoozing. 

Amidst the quiet house, because Charlie is always willing to take a snooze no matter what time of day, I get up feeling refreshed and ready to create. The meditations that I do often involve an element of intentional breathing and mindfulness, so any kind of worry or anxiety that has crept into my subconscious is cleared out.

Sometimes this is a bigger deal than others, especially if I’ve been working on a tight deadline or stressful project. Meditation essentially offers me a reset button for my mind. When you weigh 15 minutes of refresh vs. 15 minutes of barely pushing yourself to write another paragraph, the refresh is obviously the better (and more logical choice). 

When I’ve reset my mind and cleared out any worries, I’m always amazed at how clearly I can figure out what I need to do next. Also, it makes me hella creative because I don’t have to create past all that other crap - it’s almost like starting a brand new day halfway through the current day. 

It’s a nice way to break things up, and I’m almost always excited to dive back into projects. The times I’m not, I can at least handle it maturely instead of sitting down to binge-watch nature documentaries on Disney+ for the rest of the day. 

One of the best things about meditation is that it makes me excited about my own writing. If you follow me on social media, you’ll know that there have been a couple of rough patches with my personal writing in the last year (if you don’t, let’s connect!). As it turns out, when you write so much for other people, it can leave you drained of creative energy for your own projects no matter how much you love them. That’s also not great when you’re supposed to be helping other people write creatively. 

“When I amped up my meditation practice this spring, I was surprised at how much of a boost it gave me. And how much clarity for what parts of my creativity I can lean into right now.”

So when I amped up my meditation practice this spring, I was surprised at how much of a boost it gave me. And how much clarity for what parts of my creativity I can lean into right now. I’m pleased to say that I actually have multiple creative projects going on right now, and I have a standing writing date with myself on Friday afternoons. That would be decidedly impossible without meditation and clearing my mind so much throughout the week. 

I feel like I could talk about meditation all day long - I DO talk about it a lot! It’s made such a big impact on my life and creativity, and I think it could help you, too. You may not “get it” the first time or two. I definitely didn’t! But if you stick with it for a little while, I’m willing to bet you’ll start seeing some of these benefits, too. 

My challenge to you is to try meditation - more than once because it’s a habit - and see how it could help you. 

Do you meditate? What do you use for your meditations? How has meditation helped you? I’d love to hear about your experiences and recommendations! Find me on social media or drop a comment below.

Let’s chat because you, my friend, are on your way to great writing.

Why a Little Fear Isn’t Just Normal, It’s Good

My mouse hovered over the “Send” button. 

Palms sweating, heart racing, I knew I had to send the email, but fear (& imposter syndrome) invaded my mind. 

After a deep breath, I closed my eyes, clicked, and it was done. 

The draft was sent. 

For better or worse, my client had the article, and it was out of my hands as to how they would react.

Have you ever had a moment of fear like this in your professional life?

One where you’ve worked your ass off, but aren’t quite sure what the receiver will think? Or maybe one where you made a bold move without asking first and wondered if the risk would pay off, hoping whoever you’re doing the work for loves your moxie? 

As a writer, I have these experiences frequently. 

It’s certainly not every project, and the more and varied kinds of projects I do, the farther apart they are. But, fear is a part of creative life, and as far as I can tell, there’s no way around it. 

It feels almost like being the new kid in school, hoping the other kids will see how awesome you are before they realize you’re too tall, you’ve got braces, and your sense of humor is still too grown up for you. 

Or walking into a brand new office full of people knowing they’ve all been working together for the last decade and you’re the first new person in years. Yikes.  

We talk about being professional in a way that implies that once we’re the “expert” we’ll never be scared again. Or once we’ve done what we do best for a long time, we’ll just magically become fearless - hence the term “fearless leader,” right? 

That’s patently false. 

No matter how long you’ve been doing something, or how far up you get in the professional food chain, there will always be an element of fear. But who says that’s a bad thing? 

I guess a good majority of the world does often say that fear is a weakness - that’s how we’re taught to think. Being fearless and overcoming fear are seen as praiseworthy accomplishments, and in a sense they are. No one should have to live their entire lives paralyzed by fear. 

But fear doesn’t always have to be the bad guy! I mean, it’s always there anyway (even if you’re good at compartmentalizing it to the back of your mind), so you might as well accept it and figure out why it’s there - and what the heck it’s going to do, right? 

Fear will always be part of our professional lives. Here’s why:

No matter how much you accomplish, there will always be things you don’t know and/or haven’t done.

Plain and simple, you can’t know everything (and you don’t need to). You can be as expert as expert can be and still not know as much as someone else about a topic outside of your area. 

You can study and know something back and forth and still accidentally leave a hole in your knowledge. Those holes, no matter how small, will probably leave you feeling inept because you “should have known” whatever it is you missed.

No one wants to leave that vulnerability open in the professional world - the not knowing everything bit - because they feel like it makes them seem less of an expert. Less trustworthy. Less professional.

It doesn’t, though. It makes you human! 

We’re not robots or computers. We’re people! And people sometimes miss or forget things, which is okay. 

What it really comes down to is a fear of not being respected or accepted. You bring a unique wealth of experience and knowledge to the table, and that’s enough. 

Your fear is trying to protect you from embarrassment or judgement, which is a nice thought, in theory. That being said, fear doesn’t have to, and shouldn’t, run your professional life. 

There have been and will continue to be people telling you that you’re not good enough or don’t “meet the mark.”

I know you’ve had an experience at work or in school where someone told you that your best wasn’t good enough. Even if it was supposed to be “nice” or “polite” or labeled as “constructive criticism” (that was actually just regular criticism in disguise).  

We’ve ALL been there, and it sucks. No sugar, spice, or something nice about it. Being rejected hurts, especially when you’ve poured yourself into the project. The unfortunate thing about it is that it will keep happening. 

So our fear kicks in and warns us “Watch out! You love this thing, better be careful who you share it with.” Totally legit. You should be careful who you send your heartfelt work to. 

BUT, you won’t always be rejected! In fact, as you learn and grow, experience will show you how to improve so you get rejected less. You become better at tasks you struggle with and learn to adapt when you do get rejected so it hurts a little less than the last time. 

In the business world, a lot of rejection isn’t personal, even when it feels that way (and believe me, it really really does sometimes). Your project may be one of a hundred the person looks at and has to pick one. That doesn’t mean your project is bad! It just means that someone else fits their needs better this time. 

Growing is pretty much always scary because you have to get uncomfortable.

I’m gonna be honest: I’m a creature of comfort. I think most of us are. We like knowing what we know & we feel really good when we can help others with what we know. That’s pretty much the basis of business, with some money tossed into the mix. 

But if we want to be our best selves and grow professionally, we have to commit to it. We have to want to grow, and if you’ve ever been the person learning a new skill (likely), you’ll know that it can be really uncomfortable. 

You know the kind of discomfort I mean - feeling like you don’t know anything, so how could you possibly do the thing? Even crazier if you don’t know how to do the thing (or you’re terrible at it) and you want to start a business with it. Laughable! 

Or so we tell ourselves. But is it actually crazy to think we could learn a new skill and implement it? Is it actually so unbelievable that a smart person could leverage their strengths and create a career based on what they love instead of doing something mind-numbingly boring that they know backwards and forwards for the next 40 years? 

I don’t think so, and I don’t think you do either. But your fear probably does. 

Mine definitely did! Who am I to run a business? And enjoy it? And be good at it? WTF? 

But, you know what? I did it anyway (because I’m stubborn as hell - much more so than my fear). And I am good at it. And it is awesome. The fear is still there, and you know what? I like it. It keeps me honest because truly, there is a lot I don’t know.

I don’t pretend to know it all about business - the basics, sure, but that’s what other experts are for, to help me learn! That’s not why people work with me either. They work with me because I’m exceptional at stories and storytelling and working with words in a way that most people can’t (or won’t learn how to do).

So when I hesitate for a moment before sending an article (not terribly uncommon), my fear hovers for a moment, I acknowledge it’s there, and then I click send and go on about my day. Because my best is enough, and it’s good - yours is, too.

The feedback I got on the sweaty palm, heart racing article? “This is the best work you've done so far. You're like a fine wine... just getting better with time. Awesome work!” 

I get emails like this probably 95% (or more) of the time I’m nervous about client work. The fear? Almost entirely unfounded - but it’s part of putting so much of yourself into the work you do. Even when it’s there, I never let it stop me. 

If you’ve had, or are still having, fears in your professional life, take a breath, acknowledge them, and move forward. Whether that’s clicking send on an important email, asking for a raise, suggesting an organizational change, or even finding a new career - one you love - go for it. 

You can do it. You’ll be scared, but that’s okay, be bold and do it anyway.

Are You Making These 2 Deadly Mistakes with Your Next Book?

Being a writer comes with a lot of different expectations and perceptions. Everyone has an idea of what they think a writer should or shouldn’t do. It can be overwhelming and sometimes disheartening reading all of the differing opinions. 

Let's ignore all those other voices and focus on what’s important: writing your book. 

In order to do that, it’s important that you keep two things in mind - and avoid them at all costs. Do that, and being a writer will be much more straightforward.

The First Deadly Mistake & How to Avoid It

As a writer, there are plenty of reasons and excuses to avoid starting a new book. Sometimes the task is too daunting, or I feel too busy. Thinking this way will only lead to putting off that book over and over again, though. This leads to the first and most critical deadly mistake you can make as a writer which is to not start.

Writing a book is daunting, and will take a lot of time and effort, but you can’t let that deter you from starting your project! The only way that your book will ever get written, is if you write it. 

So, first things first - when you have an idea for a book write it down! Keep a notebook, Word Doc, or sticky notes handy so whenever you have an idea for a book, you can jot it down for later. This will help ensure you don’t forget what the heck you were thinking about when you actually sit down to write. If there are certain details that jump out at you for this idea, make sure to write those down too. You can always change your mind later.

You don’t have to dive right in and start writing the book. If it’s easier, plotting and planning is always a great way to begin. Make lists, character charts, outlines, timelines, or whatever else will help your book take form. These are all great tools to use and come back to if you get lost in your writing down the line (trust me, it happens all the time!). 

If you want to create a writing notebook that will include all of these helpful tools, read about 5 pieces to include in your writing notebook - it’ll help you get started. 

Once you’ve started, don’t stop! Taking breaks is essential, or you’ll get burned out. However, don’t take too long of breaks in between writing sessions or it will make it much harder for your writing to be cohesive. It can also be hard to get back into the story flow if you’re away for a while.

When I take too long of a break and I come back to my story, I have to take time to remind myself what’s going on, where I left off, and where I planned to go from there. It uses a lot of precious time that could be spent actually writing.

As writers, we’ve all experienced at one point or another a “writing slump.” This is normal! Don’t let it keep you from writing, though. If you’re stuck in a certain scene, skip it (for now). Write the next scene, or one you’re excited about instead. You can always go back to the other scene later when you have a better idea of what you want to happen. 

If you need a break from writing your book, but still want to write, try a short story! Writing prompts are a fun way to come up with new ideas and try new forms of writing. If you want to learn more about how to use writing prompts, check this out.

The Second Deadly Mistake & Why You Don’t Need to Worry So Much

Without sounding like a buzzkill, no matter what your idea is, chances are, someone has already written something similar. This isn’t to say that your idea isn’t good, or unique! The second deadly mistake that you can make as a writer: feeling as if you need to write something completely new. It’s almost impossible to come up with a completely original story line, but what no one else has done is write it as you. You are what makes the idea unique. 

For example, look how many Disney story retellings there are. I’ve read almost half a dozen Beauty and the Beast retellings and every one has a host of different characters, plots, and outcomes. It’s how you write the story and the details you choose to pull out that matter. 

That being said, you definitely can’t plagiarize someone else’s work. But you don’t have to worry so much about whether your idea is original or not. If you’re excited about it and think it will be a great story, then write it!

The Moral of the Story: It’s Better to Start and Suck Than Not Start At All

If you’re worried about your writing not being your best work (or making you look like someone who can barely hold a thought, let alone write a book) - don’t be! That’s what editing and editors are for. 

Don’t let the fear of sucking hold you back. Editing & rewriting come after you finish your first draft and can do wonders for your words. You can do a lot of these edits yourself, and/or you can hire professionals to help you. 

It’s best to have more than one set of eyes on your work to ensure someone is catching things you miss, and that you aren’t accidentally overlooking your own biases.

Wondering how the heck to get started?

• Remember - write down your ideas - get them on paper so you don’t forget them. 

• Take this free 10 day course to help organize your book (in less than 2 weeks). You don’t even have to have a work in progress yet!

• Write the book. Do whatever you need to get that book started, whether that’s planning or jumping right in. 

My challenge to you is to start writing or planning your book. 

Have you been putting off writing? Do you have a book idea you’ve been wanting to write? What helps you get started on a new idea? I’d love to hear about your experiences and recommendations! Find me on social media or drop a comment below.

Let’s chat because you, my friend, are on your way to great writing.

7 Reasons Writers Need Growth Mindset

I am a big proponent of learning and personal development. You could say it’s a passion, but in truth, it’s also a strength of mine that I happen to enjoy. 

Around this time of year, with fall semester in full swing, I think fondly of the first time I heard the term growth mindset. It wasn’t until grad school! I’ve always wondered how my college experience might have been different if I’d known about it earlier. 

I’ve come to the conclusion that I learned about it exactly when I most needed it. 

So now I talk about it with almost everyone. Students in the classroom, colleagues, members of my professional network, the list goes on. 

One of my favorite groups to talk with about growth mindset is writers. 

What is Growth Mindset?

Although you’ve probably heard of the growth mindset before, you may not be familiar with the term itself. It simply means that someone believes they can learn and improve skills. 

First coined by psychologist Dr. Carol Dweck (known worldwide for her work with mindset) in her book, Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, growth mindset established the idea that a person’s belief about their abilities was equally important to the abilities themselves. That people actually can improve when they believe their hard work will positively impact & grow their skills. 

“Growth mindset established the idea that a person’s belief about their abilities was equally important to the abilities themselves.”

This might not seem ground-breaking, but it’s still changing the face of education today. It’s a completely different model than fixed mindset, which is the idea that you are born with the skills you have, and that no matter how hard you work, you’ll still have the same skills. It’s so common in the classroom that any teacher you ask has probably had more than one student say something along the lines of “I’m just not good at XYZ.”

I know that happens in writing classrooms, and in fact, I’d estimate that more than 50% of the students I’ve taught have some kind of fixed belief about writing. Even outside the classroom, it’s breathtaking how many professionals and writers believe that good writing is based on talent instead of improvable skills.

So why is the belief that you can learn and improve so important for writers? 

7 Reasons Writers Need Growth Mindset

The fact of the matter is that writing is a skill. It’s not a table of numbers or letters, or a set of facts you can memorize. It’s a skill that can be developed and honed with practice and dedication. 

Having a growth mindset is critical for writers because it:

1. Encourages Learning - When you know you can build a skill, it encourages you to learn more about it, test it, and even try it out for yourself. And so it is with writing and growth mindset. Writing is much less scary when you think about it in terms of learning rather than overcoming your own perceived deficiency. 

2. Encourages Personal Growth - Building new skills is a great way to grow as a person (and a professional). When you know you’re not stuck in the same skill set you’ve always had, it opens up opportunities to improve in places that interest you, including writing.

3. Enables Progress - Seeing our progress usually makes us feel good, right? Being able to look at where you were and see how far you’ve come is a feel-good scenario. What better way to see progress than by starting where you’re at with writing and intentionally learning and building upon your skills? Growth mindset allows us to know that even if we’re starting off in a place we’re not satisfied with in our skills, we can improve them and see our progress along the way.

4. Grows Self-Esteem - I don’t know about you, but when I learn a new skill or realize that I’ve gotten better at something I felt I could barely do before I get an immediate boost in self-esteem. Maybe this is because I am an achiever by nature, but it’s tremendously helpful for me to know that I can be better if I try. This is important for writers (many of whom also struggle with lower self-esteem) because when we’re more assured of ourselves, we’re stronger writers.

5. Grows Confidence - When our self-esteem grows, our confidence typically follows. Seeing progress and knowing you can improve skills is a simple way to boost your confidence. When you’re more confident, your writing will become stronger because you write with more conviction - you believe in it so others will be more likely to do so as well. 

6. Changes Understanding of Abilities - Probably the most profound thing a growth mindset does is change the way we think about ourselves as creatives. If you’re stuck in a fixed mindset, it’s hard to believe you can be a writer (even if it’s your biggest dream) when you feel like you got stuck with a set of subpar skills. When you start believing that you can change your skills and improve, it’s an immediate and life-changing improvement.  

7. Allows Big Dreams (On Purpose) - This is something we don’t talk about as much as we should, but when we feel like we’re stuck with our current skills and talents, we can’t really dream that big. If you “suck at math” how in the world could you be an astronaut someday? But what if, instead of thinking you’re stuck, you truly believed you could learn with hard work and dedication? “I suck at writing” could now become “I’m going to be a writer someday.” Life-changing, right? 

Next Steps

Growth mindset is so important, especially with all the tools available today, many of which are even free! The belief that you can learn and improve may seem simple, but it can change your life in a big way if you stay open to the possibilities. 

1. Read a little more about the growth mindset here & listen to Dr. Carol Dweck talk about it here. Take a little time and Google it. Read about it and listen to Dr. Dweck talk about it. Get a good understanding of the implications.

2. Accept that growth mindset will only help you succeed as a writer. Growth mindset really is a powerful tool for writers, and knowing that - and believing it - will help you succeed.

3. Begin acting on your new growth mindset. As always, practice makes perfect, right? Start practicing your new mindset right away. Places where this comes up often with writers is in starting new projects & rewriting. 

4. Get help with your new mindset. Sometimes we all need a little pick-me-up. Especially when we’re working on something new, or pivoting (thanks COVID-19). If you’re struggling with how a growth mindset could look in your creative life, or if you’ve figured it out but need some help getting there, I can help. I work with writers on this all the time because it’s hard! Doing it alone can make it harder, so why not enlist help? Click here to read more about how we can work together and get you on the right track. 

My challenge to you is to begin to intentionally accept a growth mindset into your life and writing.

Have you heard of the growth mindset before? Tried it? Found another way to use it with your writing? I’d love to hear about your experiences! Find me on social media, drop a comment below, or email me at rachel@capturingyourconfidence.com!

Let’s chat because you, my friend, are on your way to great writing.